Author's Note: I needed a way to vent my frustrations with the Abby/Carter relationship, and this
was the result. It's (obviously) written from Abby's point of view. Like it? Hate it? I'll never
know if you don't say.

"Lesser, Better"

He's just a man
with all the faults and idiosyncrasies a man can have;
And one of those used to be loving me
in that perfectly screwed up way a man loves
without seeing.
My faults -
My idiosyncrasies -
Too many of them to name, much stronger
than he
Till his shortcomings were squelched by mine
and he was no longer blemished,
no longer the one with the problem.
No longer needing to rise above that which is
beneath him.

So say I change,
I bend over backwards and jump through hoops
Never satisfying, never enough
because I will always have to be lesser -
And better -
to make him content,
and happy enough to convince him he feels it too
Like a mother fooling her child...
"We're okay, baby."
But when it was real he didn't notice,
saw only sadness in my eyes
until it was all he could ever see -
My mother's eyes,
My brother's eyes
And a scoff at them became a scoff at me,
made it too damn easy to walk away
then come back when my weakness gave him power.
Because he is just a man -
and power's what some men need.