Kendall smiled as he reached for the bar of soap, gaze catching a new addition to the mesh net hanging in a corner of the shower. He'd seen the rubber ducky plenty, and recalled rolling his eyes at the sight of a colorful plastic boat that had appeared at some point last week. Now a bright red stick had joined the collection, and when Kendall ignored the soap in favor of inspecting this, he realized the hoop on the end was used for blowing bubbles. Shaking his head but unable to fight the grin stealing over his face, he rushed through the remainder of his shower because teasing Carlos about his toys never got old.
Five minutes later Kendall was searching their small apartment for his roommate, surprised to find Carlos' bedroom door shut. The only time Carlos closed it was when he was changing, and sometimes not even then. Frowning because fifteen minutes was more than enough time for Carlos to get dressed after his own shower, Kendall knocked on the door. "You in there?"
"Yeah," came a muffled reply, and the frown on Kendall's face deepened; Carlos only sounded less-than-hyper when he was lost in serious thought or discussion.
"You okay? Can I open the door?"
"I'm fine."
Kendall took that as permission to open the door, and peeked in to see Carlos dressed in sweats and an old tank, his hair combed but only half dry as he perched on the edge of his bed. "What's up? I thought you were gonna get the movie ready."
"I am, I just..." Carlos glanced up at Kendall for a brief moment, then shrugged as he looked away.
"Hey." Kendall was moving and seated next to Carlos in an instant, one long arm pulling Carlos against his side. "If it's about what the guys said, don't let it bother you. They're dicks."
"I know," Carlos sighed. "But they're right. I am slower now. I can skate but not as fast as I used to and I don't want to hold the team back."
"That's why you're not a starter right now. But dude, you're already twice as fast as you were last week. You have to baby the ankle a little but that's gonna change."
"Promise?"
"Absolutely. I even asked Logan, to be sure. He agreed with your doctor. You're gonna be back out there killing it soon enough."
"But for now I can only skate for a limited time, and when I do, I suck."
"You do not suck, you made two goals in practice today alone. And that's with a healing ankle."
"I usually make three times that!"
"And you will again." Pulling Carlos closer until a head of black hair was resting on his shoulder, Kendall whispered, "I promise."
There was no reply for a time, Kendall sensing that Carlos was fighting to believe that. Then, "I don't know what I'd do without you, Kendall. If I'd had some other roommate, like one of those assholes, I probably would've given up and gone back home by now."
"Good thing you ended up with me then, isn't it?"
"I suppose."
The words were said grudgingly, Carlos trying to sound as if he hated his living arrangements. Because they both knew that was a lie, Kendall grinned and squeezed Carlos tighter. "Need me to carry you out to the living room like a big baby?" he teased.
Rather than the offended argument he was expecting, Carlos replied with a meek, "Maybe."
Kendall frowned again, realizing that his roommate was more upset about his situation than he'd let on. "Come here." Carlos was lifted up from the bed and carried in a bridal position out to their small living room, where he was deposited gently on the sofa in front of their television. "Need a blanket?"
"Maybe."
Kendall's gaze narrowed suspiciously. At this point he was pretty sure Carlos was taking advantage of the situation, but knowing that he truly was hurt by the rude comments made earlier, Kendall let it slide and returned to Carlos' bedroom for his favorite blanket. He dropped it on the sofa next to Carlos and asked innocently, "How about your rubber ducky? Or maybe the new bubble wand I saw in the shower?"
Carlos managed to look embarrassed for all of three seconds before blurting, "It was on sale! I found it at the discount store across the street from the rink and it makes huge bubbles! Last night when I took a bath, I made the duck save the boat from sailing into a big bubble storm. It was awesome!"
He gave it a mighty effort, but eventually Kendall couldn't hold in the laughter that broke free. "A bubble storm? Wow, that sounds dangerous. Good thing you were there to stop that catastrophe."
"Shut up, I know you play with those toys when I'm not around!"
"Dude, there's never a time when you aren't around."
"I'm not with you in the bathroom! And sometimes you take long showers, so don't try to tell me you aren't playing with my toys. What else could you be doing in there?"
Face going inexplicably scarlet, Kendall choked on a cough before spinning away and heading for the kitchen. "Did you make popcorn for the movie?"
"Ha! You do play with my toys. One day I'm gonna put a camera in there just to catch you."
Kendall returned with two cans of soda and cheeks that were still flushed, though a lighter shade of pink. "Uh...please don't do that." He passed Carlos a can and joined him on the sofa, Carlos automatically holding the blanket up for Kendall to cuddle under with him.
"Then admit it. Admit you play with my ducky."
"Carlos, I..." He cleared his throat before cracking open the soda and taking a long swig, then settled in under the blanket. He waited until Carlos had snuggled up to him before continuing. "It's not...I don't play with your toys, okay?"
"Well, you must do something to be in there so long. I know you take baths sometimes."
"Yeah, sometimes I do, but..." Kendall set aside the soda long enough to turn on the television. "Did you put the movie in?"
"Yes, but don't change the subject."
"Carlos, please. Let it go."
"Not until you admit it."
"Admit what?"
"Tell me what you do in there, if not play with my toys."
"Are you serious right now?" He turned his head to study Carlos, who was studying him right back. "You really don't know?"
"What I know is that you're lying and you just don't want to admit it."
"Oh my god, how are you so annoying?"
"Go on, say it. Say you play with my ducky."
"Carlos..." Squirming slightly, Kendall rolled his eyes and finally said, "I have needs, okay? It's normal at our age. Don't you ever...?"
"What?" It hit him in a flash, Carlos' eyes going wide and his jaw dropping. "Oh! Oh, you do that in the shower?"
"Not often, I just...sometimes I get the urge. Don't you?"
"Well, yeah, I just..."
"What?"
"I don't give in. I mean...one time I did, before we started sharing a bed."
"Good. At least I don't feel like a freak now."
"You're not a freak."
"Why don't you give in?"
"Because! We're always together and I can't do it in front of you!"
"That's why I do it in the bathroom. Why don't you?"
"Kendall, I can't do it in front of Mr. Quackers. That's just gross. Oh god, you do, though! He's probably traumatized!"
Ignoring the absurdity of that, Kendall pushed the "play" button on the remote. "I can't believe you didn't make popcorn," he whined.
"Oh, but I'm the big baby. Make it yourself for once. Or were you too busy jacking off in there?" Carlos grinned.
"Shut up, I did no such thing! I was too distracted by your bubble wand."
"Ooo, that sounds sexual. Were you thinking about my wand in the shower, Kendall?" he leered.
"Remind me to never bring up anything sexual around you ever again," Kendall muttered under his breath. "I swear you're twelve years old."
"Please, you love me." As if to prove it, Carlos snuggled in closer and smirked when Kendall shifted to cuddle him in.
"I might if you get up and make me popcorn."
"Baby."
They bypassed previews and settled in to watch the movie, the only other sounds being their occasional slurps, Carlos' quiet questions regarding the film, and the sound of the lamp clicking off when Kendall reached up to plunge them into semi-darkness. They were about thirty minutes into the movie when Kendall wondered if Carlos had fallen asleep, his body heavy and relaxed against Kendall's own. As a test he carded a hand through Carlos' hair, smiling when deep brown eyes rolled up to look at him questioningly. Kendall only shook his head and rested his chin on Carlos' head, the thought occurring to him that he was content. Like Carlos, he was completely relaxed and at ease in a place he felt...safe? Was that the right word? Maybe...whole. He was living his dream and doing it alongside someone who constantly kept him entertained. Someone he could take care of, who gave him purpose. Two months ago he couldn't have imagined he'd ever feel this way in a place that wasn't home and didn't contain Logan.
Perhaps sensing that he was deep in thought, Carlos tilted his head back to look up at Kendall. The gaze was met with a warm smile, Kendall staring down into twinkling brown eyes, and the next thing he knew, his lips were smothered by a determined mouth that should have been clumsy but wasn't because it knew what it wanted. Stunned, Kendall froze in place and stared back in shock when Carlos pulled away from the kiss to babble in panic.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that, I never meant to, never wanted to before, I just looked up at you and it felt right but I know you're not like that and you probably hate me now but please don't move out, don't go because I need you and it was stupid, I never should have done it, please don't hate me, Kendall, you're the most important thing to me and-"
The words floated to Kendall as if from a great distance, his brain dazed and hardly able to follow any train of thought because...what was that? What just happened? And why was his body tingling from head to toe as if electrified? Before he could think too much about it, Kendall followed instinct and cut Carlos' parade of panic off with a firm kiss that Carlos gasped into before falling silent and letting Kendall take control. Both were breathing heavy and Carlos had climbed up onto Kendall's lap before they finally broke apart for air. Kendall swallowed audibly and managed one word.
"Hi."
A hesitant smile curved Carlos' lips up before it died again. "Hi?" he replied, almost questioningly.
After licking his lips, Kendall dove in for a deeper kiss, this one driven by conscious will rather than shock. Carlos' mouth opened to him, a groan of desperation escaping, and immediately Kendall's need to take care of Carlos stepped in as he remembered their discussion from earlier.
I don't give in.
Just how long had Carlos been holding those urges in? Too long, by the way his body jolted and shivered when Kendall brushed fingertips lightly down from his stomach to the bulge in his sweats.
This was a problem Kendall could easily fix.
There was no hesitation, Carlos' sweats and boxers dragged down and tossed aside in under ten seconds before he was being gently pushed onto his back while Kendall knelt over him, knowing exactly what he needed. Carlos cried out when Kendall's warm hand wrapped around him, Kendall soothing him with kisses that distracted him enough to draw out the act as Kendall's hand worked him over. "So good," he managed to whisper, to which Kendall hummed in agreement and continued to stroke and kiss until Carlos could no longer fight it and came hard with a yell of mindless bliss that tapered off into gasps of heavy breathing.
Kendall waited it out by trailing his lips up and down Carlos' neck, soft kisses that were meant to soothe and relax. Their mouths met again eventually before Carlos stared up at Kendall in a daze. "Hi."
A bright grin accompanied Kendall's answer. "Hi."
"I think I love you."
"I think I figured that out."
"I didn't know."
"I didn't either."
"Are we still friends?"
"Do you want to be?"
"Of course, I never want to lose that. I don't want to go back to a life without you, even as just a friend."
"I don't know if I can do that, Carlos."
"Do what?"
"Be your friend."
"Oh." His face was stricken with pain, with the knowledge that he'd ruined what they had. "I understand."
"Do you?"
"Yeah. I changed things. When I kissed you."
"You did."
"We're changed forever, aren't we?"
"We are."
"Do you still want to live with me?"
"Yeah."
"You're sure?"
"Yes, because I think I love you, too."
The pain was replaced by a feeling so bright it was like the sun shining from Carlos' face. "Yeah?"
Kendall nodded slowly, then leaned down for a slow kiss. "Hi."
"Hi. Boyfriend?"
"Hell yes."
"You do love me. And I didn't even have to get up and make you popcorn."
"I demand it next time."
"Why not now?"
"Because I have other plans for you right now."
The movie was forgotten as Kendall picked Carlos up to take him to bed, the big one they'd been sharing for weeks now. He'd already begun to think of it as theirs, and he didn't see that changing anytime soon.
Or ever.
