TW: Minor character death, depression, self-harm, suicide.


It starts off fairly well, as well as the death of a parental figure can go at least. The transition from the island to the mainland—now she lives in Oklahoma—is smooth, and you think it's cool that she's a driveable distance away now. Even if you wish for her sake her grandpa hadn't kicked the bucket.

TG: yo jade
TG: hows it goin

You hit send and wait a moment—she's online, but she's also notorious among your friends for leaving her phone in random-ass places and never checking her computer because she's too busy with plants and Jadelike shit. But this time, her response is almost immediate.

GG: hi dave! [heart]
GG: howre you?

TG: pretty awesome like usual thanks for asking
TG: i was bored all last night though
TG: its weird that youre not up at like four in the morning anymore
TG: because were in the same time zone
TG: which is pretty cool
TG: but anyway i was up all night like usual just with no one to talk to

GG: sorry… :c

TG: nah its cool i used the time to make some sick raps
TG: wanna see

GG: yes!
GG: i would love to

You then proceed to show her the entirety of said sick raps, which are pretty fucking awesome if you do say so yourself (which you do). Even Bro thought so, and that's saying something. Three in the morning inspiration rocks, even if it was a little lonely. Oh well, you'll get used to it. Maybe if you start going to be a little earlier and getting up a little earlier, you can talk to her more.

You really do like talking to her, after all. But you're good friends, that's to be expected! Even if you do get a little more excited when she logs on than John or Rose. You mean what, you said nothing.

The next few conversations you have go a lot like that, though she seems a little more subdued than normal. But you figure she's got a shitton of shit on her plate, so that's kinda to be expected, and you do your best to try to cheer her up.

One day, though, Rose messages you.

TT: Hello, Dave.
TT: Normally I'm sure we'd jump through all sorts of conversational hoops before getting to the point, assuming that there even is one.
TT: But I'd like to get right to it for now.

TG: whoa are you asking me to get serious
TG: cmon rose i dont know if thats even possible
TG: me and serious dont mix
TG: were like oil and water
TG: fuckin opposites man we hate each other like a family feud you wouldnt believe
TG: its like

TT: I'm worried about Jade.

Oh. Jade? Is she okay? Why's Rose worried? You talked to Jade earlier today and she seemed okay. Is this just Lalonde making shit up like she likes to?

TG: what about jade

This better just be Lalonde making up shit and blowing it out of proportion like some disgusting balloon.

TT: I've made this same request of John, but…
TT: Ask her about her family for me, will you? The new one, I mean.
TT: Like a normal conversation, though. Don't let her think you heard it from me.

TG: i dont even know what i heard so yeah lemme do that

— turntechGodhead [TG] is now pestering gardenGnostic [GG] —

TG: hey

GG: hi!

Jeez, moving out sure did get her to keep up with the electronics a lot more. She's sure on top of things now. Good job, Jade. Or maybe it's just that there's less to keep her distracted, which is … sadder. Well, you can distract her, right?

Man, why are you even listening to Rose. Jade's changed a bit because her grandpa's dead, duh. What else would the problem be? Sure, it's been a month, but a month probably isn't that much time to adjust. Oh well, you'll just chat with Jade.

TG: sup harls

GG: not much
GG: just had dinner actually, and im in my room now…

TG: whats that '…' there for

GG: oh nothing! i was just thinking about something

TG: bout what

GG: nothing important!

Okay… that's kind of suspicious, if you're on the lookout for suspicious activity. Strike one, noted. 'Nothing important' your ass. Maybe Rose was onto something.

TG: yeah sure if you say so
TG: though when anything we ever talk about is important i dont know
TG: the hell even is important

GG: good question… importance is a weird concept!

TG: now im gonna say back the fuck up we arent doing philosophy
TG: lets talk about something else
TG: like
TG: oh heres a topic
TG: whats your new fam like
TG: they treatin you right and all that jazz

GG: of course they are! why would you even ask that?

Uh, wow. She sure is quick to get on the defensive. Did you say something wrong? No, you don't think you did. She's probably just touchy because she's readjusting or something. But then again, coupled with Rose's seeming suspicion…

TG: whoa chill harls i was joking
TG: i dont actually think they wouldnt be
TG: or i didnt
TG: until you got so defensive about it

Now to see how fast she jumps on that. Also, what Egbert says in response to Rose's prodding. You lean back in your chair, crossing your arms, and wait.

GG: ughhhh dave no youre being silly
GG: did rose talk to you or something?

This is getting more and more sketchy by the second.

TG: talk to me about what
TG: how youre acting funny and youre really jumpy about the new family
TG: because no she didnt
TG: it may surprise you to know that i have the cognitive ability to figure some shit out too

GG: im sorry
GG: :c
GG: i didnt mean to imply that you get all your ideas from rose or anything!
GG: you are brilliant and im really sorry :(
GG: please dont be mad at me i didnt mean anything by it

TG: whoa jade slow down
TG: breathe for a minute
TG: you breathing
TG: sixty seconds come on
TG: now look it takes a lot to offend me and that was not a lot at all ok
TG: you didnt say anything im just a prickly bastard cmon we all know that
TG: and also

GG: also?

TG: youre still avoiding the subject

She doesn't reply after that. You get a funny feeling that she'll try to hide behind her 'I left my phone in the greenhouse!' excuse later, but somehow, you think she'll be lying.


— tentacleTherapist [TT] has opened group memo at 22:47 —
— tentacleTherapist [TT] has added ectoBiologist [EB] —
— tentacleTherapist [TT] has added turntechGodhead [TG] —

EB: hi rose!
EB: and hi dave!

TT: Hello, John.

TG: sup

TT: I'm sure you both have figured out what's on my mind, so I shan't preface.
TT: I'm worried about Jade.

EB: me too! she's not acting like herself and she's dodging like every question
EB: i tried asking her about her new family and she was like
EB: | | GG: theyre wonderful! its nice of them to take me in and im grateful!

TG: jesus fuck thats a lot of exclamation points even for jade

EB: i know!

TT: "I'm grateful"? Why is that something she's specifying?
TT: I would have expected her to say more like "my foster brother can't garden".

EB: what do you mean by that rose?

TT: If she's telling us the most notable things about them, why that she's grateful?

TG: maybe because shes too nice for her own good all the time

TT: Maybe.
TT: Or maybe because it's already been drilled into her head that she's extra baggage.
TT: That they didn't have to take her on and that they did so because they're good people.

TG: what are you getting at here lalonde

TT: It's been six weeks already, and she's not acting like herself.
TT: I'm starting to wonder if that family of hers has something to do with it.

EB: i don't know…
EB: i want to help her but i don't want to jump to conclusions.

TT: I understand that. I haven't concluded anything yet myself.
TT: Just that that's a possibility.
TT: We can keep our eyes open, yes?

EB: of course!

TG: yeah
TG: not even gonna be any blinking in these premises
TG: sir you fucking blinked you did not have your eyes on jade for a second
TG: im going to have to ask you to leave sir

TT: Alright.
TT: Well, before this chatroom becomes a wall of phallic metaphors, is there anything else?

TG: first off fuck you that was not phallic in any way shape or form
TG: but not really anything on my end as far as jade goes
TG: shes just really defensive if you even bring her fam up

EB: i'm running into the same thing!
EB: it's like she can't say anything that goes against them in the slightest!

TT: … Hmm.
TT: Oh, I have to go to my mother.
TT: Let's keep each other posted, boys.

TG: sure thing

EB: absolutely! see you later rose!

— tentacleTherapist has closed group memo at 22:58 —


You're mixing some ill beats a few days later, the warm Texas sunshine streaming in from the window to hit your back and paint half your room gold, when your computer goes ding! with a pesterchum notification.

It's Jade, to your total amazement. Amazement because she's been pretty quiet these days (and that's worrying y'all even further).

GG: hi dave [heart]

Ah, yes. Jade and all her heart emojis. You don't quite have the heart to tell her you turned emojis off because you don't like them staring at you like Cal.

TG: yo
TG: nice to hear from you
TG: i was starting to think you dropped off the face of the earth
TG: howre things going

GG: things are going okay!
GG: honestly ive just been kind of busy these days
GG: everything happens so fast you know?
GG: you shouldnt have worried about me though :c

TG: jade youve gotta understand thats how i roll
TG: its like a thing that most people who are friends with each other do
TG: when they drop all communications for days
TG: people get all hella worried

GG: anyway thats all beside the point dave! i wanted to ask you
GG: rapping is up your alley i know but i was wondering
GG: ever tried acrostic poetry?

… Acrostic poetry? Where the fuck did that come from? You sit back and frown at the screen for a moment. Yeah, she's weird, but this is a whole new level. She's never gone and blatantly said "yeah I know you were worried but that doesn't matter" before.

TG: no i cant say that i have
TG: why

Wait.

Acrostic—huh. You scroll back up and look at the pesterlog so far. The first letters of each line she's sent you… oh shit. Shit.

"They are".

GG: well i dont know!
GG: a while ago i saw something and i thought of you
GG: the whole 'clever wordplay' thing seemed like it might be a thing you like!
GG: can you blame me for asking?
GG: hehe you ARE the one who sends me random raps in the middle of the night!
GG: i wish i could find the poem in question to show you though…
GG: not gonna lie it was cool!
GG: gosh though i wish i could remember the name

"They are watching". That's what she's saying. Someone's looking at her messages over her shoulder as she types, and that's why she never says the real thing. Okay. This is news. You've gotta tell Rose and John.

And you should tell her you got the message, too. She's bending over backwards through all these figurative hoops to tell you.

TG: acrostic poetry huh
TG: rapping is different from poetry though
TG: everyone can slap words together jade

GG: different how? :o

TG: you have to feel the beat for a rap
TG: on a poem its just like whatever works dude
TG: use some flowery words sure whatever

GG: and all those metaphors right? hehe, you and your metaphors!

TG: oh sure those are there too
TG: kinda like the backbone to any good rap or poem or
TG: anything really
TG: youve gotta get the metaphors down harley take notes

Well, with a little effort you've just responded in kind. Hopefully you guys can keep up this rudimentary way of talking. Even if it does make longer messages hard. Ugh, maybe she could find a way to talk to you at night or something, when these controlling douches are asleep.

GG: notes okay got it! :D
GG: okayyy metaphors hehe what else?

"No", she says. Jade Harley—Jade Harley—just said no, she is not okay.

This is bad. This is very bad. This is very, very bad. Because Jade is the girl who insists she's fine when she falls out of a tree and breaks her ankle and left arm. Said she can walk and everything! What did these people do if they make her admit she's not okay?

Shit, how do you respond to that. Something short and reassuring. Uhhh… oh, fuck it.

TG: lots of stuff
TG: oh man there is a lot of stuff jade
TG: very serious business is going down in the wordplay world
TG: everyones like holy shit look at those goddamn stock transactions

GG: what?

TG: you heard me right im talking about metaphorical metaphors
TG: are you surprised

There, it's said and done. She can take that as she will.

GG: …
GG: i am not surprised
GG: after all you are a big dork [heart]

TG: im actually really cool you know
TG: …
TG: [heart] to you too though

GG: :D
GG: aw i feel special!
GG: you never do hearts back!

TG: do i not
TG: well damn i should fix that
TG: here this should help remedy all the times ive skipped out on hearts
TG: [heart] [heart] [heart]

You feel kind of stupid typing out the code [heart] for a heart emoji, but whatever. It works.

GG: :D
GG: [heart]!

TG: [heart]
TG: god jade youre just taking all the hearts right out of me arent you
TG: what if i told you my heart only belongs to one person
TG: you cant just take it all like that
TG: although i guess you are anyway so it doesnt matter but like
TG: actually fuck it here you go [heart]

GG: hehe!

God you feel like a total sap right now. Hopefully she's actually smiling over there, not just pretending she is. For now the acrostic poems are over, it looks like, but you'll be scanning everything she sends you from now on for some kind of code. And you have to tell John and Rose about this development.


That night at 3:23 AM, your phone buzzes. Lying awake and staring at the ceiling, you roll over and reach under your pillow to pull it out.

GG: hey…

TG: yo jade
TG: sup with you
TG: why arent you asleep

GG: i cant

TG: why not

GG: i cant

TG: alright spill its like three in the morning youre alone right

GG: yes i am
GG: i
GG: i dont know what to say
GG: can i call you

In response, you call her, clearing your throat as you do because you haven't actually used your voice in several hours (since you bawled like a fucking idiot after you got your ass served to you earlier, courtesy of bro, that is) and you've gotta make sure it works right.

"Hi, Dave," her voice comes, breathy and quiet and a little shaky, like she's fighting back tears.

"Hey," you greet in return, wondering if your voice sounds as concerned as you feel right now. Because you're hella concerned. "You okay?"

"I…" she trails off. You hear a sniffle. "Not really."

Shit. God, you're bad at comforting people, what do you do? "What's wrong, Harls?" You roll over, momentarily forgetting the giant scrape on your hip from your rooftop sparring earlier, and have to quickly bite down a yelp and curse. Shit, that hurt. Ow.

"Dave?"

"Nuh-uh," you say, gritting your teeth and glaring down at the spot where you think your hip is, under your blanket. "No changin' the subject. We're talking 'bout you." Goddammit you sound so Texan right now it's embarrassing. This is why you should not be on the phone at three in the damn morning. Except that this is Jade, and there is a lot you'd do for Jade.

She's silent for a second. It drags on and on and you're about to prod her again when she finally says, really quietly, "I can't live like this."

"Like what?" you ask immediately, whatever thoughts had been in your head discarded in favor of the sudden stillness you're acutely aware of in the night. You can hardly move in anticipation of her answer.

"Like—Dave, I can't do it," she chokes on a sob. That hurts you to hear; now you just really wish you were there to hug her or something. God, Jade deserves to be happy, not whatever this is that's making her feel so hopeless. "I really wanted—I wanted to like them so much, but I can't, I can't do it because I know I'm a huge burden on them and it's awful for me to say this but they're a terrible family, they make me feel like an outcast all the time and I wish I could just disappear for a while, with some of the things they say." She's crying now, forcing words out through her tears, and your heart aches for her.

Your heart is also fucking angry, though. They tell her she's a burden and she should be grateful they're there, is that it? And they treat her like she's not really a member of their damn family? Why the fuck did they sign up as a foster home then?

"Or maybe forever," she adds, more quietly, sounding so sad and defeated and lost that you're scared she means it.

You sit up immediately, panic running through you, adrenaline with no outlet because she's not even here and there's nothing you can do. "No, don't you fucking dare," you growl. "Take that thought and put it in a shoebox and light the thing on fire, throw it out the damn window and watch it sail away into the sky. Don't you dare disappear on me, Jade Harley. You hear me?"

There's a shuddering breath and then a tremulous whimper that breaks into another sob. "I'm sorry…" Her voice cracks, jumps up an octave into a pitiful squeak.

This is too much. This is too damn much. "What the hell are you apologizing for?"

"I woke you up, I made you upset, I haven't been talking to you, I'm always—I'm sorry for everything about me!" she cries. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called, I'm just too much of a pathetic weakling to get through this on my own—"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down!" You shake your head, running a hand through your hair agitatedly. "Jade, that's—no, stop, you are incorrect, that is bullshit. First, I was already awake. Second, I'm upset at the idea of losing you. Why the fuck is that a reason to apologize? It means that newsflash—I care about you, okay? You're not a 'pathetic weakling', you're fucking brilliant and strong as hell, you're putting up with a fuckton of shit right now, and… hey," you say more gently, lowering your voice a little, because you can hear weeping from the other end of the line. "Jade, hey, hey, don't cry, it'll be okay."

There's another sniffle. "I—I love you," she blubbers.

"I love you too," you say, kind of surprised that it came out that naturally. She probably won't take it the way you think of her a lot, but honestly, she just needs to know she's loved, by a friend or not.

"I'm sorry, still," Jade says, shaky. "I haven't been talking to you like I normally would and you were worried for no reason."

For no reason, she says. For no fuckin' reason. But you'll let that slide for now in favor of tackling other parts of what she's said. "Yeah, and I'd be willin' to bet that it's not because you wanted to ignore us all. They're watching you all the time, right?"

"Yeah," she sighs. "They—they don't really like the whole internet friends thing, even though you guys are literally the only friends I have! I didn't live near people, I need—I need you all. And they're so suspicious of it all! Mr. Finn got so mad at me for giving Rose my new address. That's when I stopped talking at all, because they took my phone and laptop for two weeks, I'm really sorry I worried you—"

"Yo, stop the apologies," you tell her as gently as you can. "You're fine." Your brain is turning this information over in your head. If you can set her foster family's suspicions about y'all at ease, maybe they'd be a bit better about Jade talking to you without watching over her shoulder every time she texts someone.

"Sor—oh," Jade starts, and then laughs sheepishly. It's watery and close to tears, but it's still a laugh, so you'll take it.

"So I'm starting to get an idea," you say. "It might be totally stupid, but what if we Skype call tomorrow and act all respectable and junk, let them see that I'm not some weirdo after their house or something. Maybe they'll ease up on you."

"Maybe," she sighs. "We can try, I guess…" She doesn't sound very hopeful, though. You're still determined to give it a shot. She just seems drained and hopeless and exhausted.

"You should get some rest," you suggest. "You sound tired, Harls."

"If—if you want me to go, let you sleep, yeah, I can—"

"No," you interrupt flatly, "I want you to sleep. I told you, babe, I was already awake." Wait fuck did you just call her babe? Hopefully she won't notice that. Uhhh maybe you do need to go to bed too. Whoops. "You, uh… you just sound tired. And like you've been crying a lot. And that's real tiring, so… get some rest."

Jade's quiet for a second. "I can't sleep."

"Can't, meaning what?" you ask. "Do you mean the not tired kind of can't sleep, or the don't want the pillow thoughts kind?"

"No thoughts," she says softly, almost like she's ashamed. "I'm in the back yard right now. I don't want to go back inside…"

"In the—is it fenced in or something?" you ask, flabbergasted, because she's in a suburban neighborhood sitting outside alone in the middle of the night. What is she doing?

There's something that might almost be a laugh. "Yes, it's all fenced in and safe. I'm not that dumb, promise."

Huh. Well, you guess that's okay then. So long as she's safe… "You have a new garden?"

"Sort of," she says wistfully. "It's not growing as well as my old one. I—I miss my island, Dave, I miss it so much…"

"Hey, hey, Jade," you say a little nervously, because you don't know if you can handle her crying while you helplessly sit over here again. "I know, it's hard. God, I wish I could help you more. Just… hey, tell me something. Anything you want. Let's sit and talk like it isn't late at night and like everything's okay, like we used to. How's that?"

"That—that sounds good," she says, a little shaky but seeming okay. "I can—okay. Um… There was a dance at school last weekend. I went with a few friends. It was kind of fun actually, except that on the slow dances I didn't have anyone to dance with…"

"Too bad you weren't here," you hear yourself commenting before you have the chance to process the words leaving your mouth. "I'd have danced with you all night." What. What are you saying. What. It is too late for this pseudoflirting shit and you need to stop.

Jade laughs softly. "That would have been nice," she says. "Really nice."

"Yeah," you agree. "But hey, I'm glad you had fun."

"I do like dancing, and it was neat," she says thoughtfully. You can just picture her sitting out on some stone bench surrounded by plants or something, swinging her legs and looking up at the moon. "Though it was also kinda overwhelming! I've never seen that many people in one place before."

Oh, dear god. "Just wait til you see fucking Houston," you tell her. "It's impossible to get away from them all. They're everywhere. No one in this city knows what solitude is."

"It's a city in Skyrim, of course!" she says with a tiny little tinkling laugh, sort of like she's ashamed of herself for being happy and making a joke, except that's bullshit so no.

"Virtual fist bump," you say. "Initiated."

"And completed," she smiles, you can hear it in her voice. "I think it would be nice to come to Houston, though. It would at least be better than here."

"It's not that bad," you agree. "If you came to visit, I could take you to all these cool-ass places, and you could stay with me and Bro, and it'd be fucking amazing."

"It would be," she agrees with—is that? Yup, that was a yawn.

"Jade," you say. "Go to sleep."

"I can't!" She almost sounds frustrated. "I told you, I can't go in there right now, I won't be able to breathe!"

"I didn't tell you to go inside," you reply, unfazed. "Just go to sleep on your hammock or wherever you are. What time do they get up on Saturdays?"

"Around nine," she says. "If I go to sleep out here, they'll probably yell at me for being ungrateful that I have a roof over my head. And I am, I really am thankful they took me in, but I don't know why they did! I'm such a burden—"

"No, you're not," you interrupt, wondering if you could just go hop in your car, drive eight hours, and punch these shitheads in the face. "They're just assholes who can't appreciate how great you are."

"I'm not that great."

"Yes you are. Go to sleep. I'll call you to wake you up before they get up. You can say you got up early to do some gardening or some shit like that."

"You—you don't have to do that for me," she says, seeming totally surprised and touched that you'd even consider it. You snort and shake your head.

"No, I don't. But I want to."

"Okay… thank you, Dave," she says, her voice dropping a little bit. "Love you."

"Love ya too, Harley," you say, preparing to set an alarm for 7:45. But she doesn't end the call, so you don't either. Is there something else…?

"I—can I just leave this on?" she says finally, sounding very unsure and very small. "I don't want to be all alone."

"Oh, uh, sure," you blink in surprise. "Yeah, go for it. I'll be right here, don't you worry your little head."

After a few minutes of silence, you hear her sniffle again. That's enough for you, and you aren't sleepy anyway, so you roll out of bed and hobble over to your guitar, bringing it back to your phone and putting the thing on speakerphone so she can hear properly.

After the first song ("When You Say Nothing At All", because you ironically listen to country a lot), she sounds a lot more relaxed when she tells you she loves your voice. By the second, her response is barely a murmur, and she falls asleep to the tune of "You Are My Sunshine".

Fast forward a few months. Rose is convinced Jade has some form of depression, John is almost constantly fretting, and you spend whatever time you can talking to her because she's so lonely, all the damn time.

Right now, you're Skyping her as she sits in the airy living room of her suburban house, her foster mother doing some paperwork at the table next to her. You've noticed how the woman always frowns and never smiles at Jade, how Jade's always on edge around her, and you have to say you really don't like her.

But you've also been planning this for a long while, like, months, and you have made yourself seem like a totally respectable, nice Southern gentlemanly boy whenever she's around. Hopefully that'll pay off, because you have a request to make of her.

"You know what would be real nice?" you say, knowing that she's eavesdropping on your convo with Jade. "I wish y'all could come visit for Christmas. It's always just me and Bro and this big ol' apartment. Kinda lonely and not really Christmas spirity, you know?"

"Aw," Jade says, clueless. "I would want to spend Christmas with you, but I have family here now!" Ha, yeah fucking right. Stuff she's gotta say in front of that lady, that's what she's spouting. "It wouldn't really be right of me to leave them, would it?"

"Oh, sh—ucks," you actively have to stop yourself from saying 'shit', 'damn', 'hell', or anything along those lines. "Yeah, I was just bein' wishful, Jade. I couldn't ask you to leave your family during Christmas of all times!" Here's where you've gotta play your words just right. You can basically see Jade's foster mom's ears pricking up, listening in. "I just think it'd be real nice, because you know I've known you forever. But I couldn't ask that of y'all, I wouldn't want to get between you and Mrs. Susan over there!"

You see the woman smile to herself, nodding. Gee, what a respectable good boy you are, right? Keeping the goddamn Christmas spirit intact and everything!

Jade giggles, probably because you just said "shucks"—you, Dave Strider, just said "shucks". Let's just chalk that one up to irony. "Yeah, I'd love to see you or John or Rose for the holidays, I've known you all so long!"

Yes, good Jade, even if she's not in on your scheme—you didn't tell her what you were trying to do, because you didn't want to get her hopes up in the likely event that your subtle word games don't work.

Three… two… one—

"Well, if you really want to," Susan The Bitch says, "you could go visit your friend for Christmas. We'd miss you—" that's a fucking lie and all three of you know it. "—but it would be sad to have a totally empty house for the holidays, and I'm sure David wouldn't mind your company—and you both wouldn't get up to anything improper, of course."

"Really?" Jade gasps, her eyes shining with sudden joy and hope. In her excitement, she nearly drops the laptop from her legs to the floor, grabbing it at the last second and then squealing and clasping her hands with glee. You just put that there—the thought of coming to stay with you just put that joy there, and that thought makes you feel a small stirring of pride. "Thank you so much, ma'am!"

"You'll have to arrange for transportation," Susan says with a slight frown. "I'm sorry, but I don't think we can afford the airfare, and Finn can't drive all the way to Houston and back just to drop you off, Jade."

"I can!" you volunteer quickly, keeping up your gentlemanliness. "I have a truck. Whenever you need me to come, I can be there. You're already on break, right, Jade?"

"Yes," she says, beaming now. "When do you want to—I mean, if that's okay with you, ma'am?"

"Oh, yes, that works," The Bitch says, not even paying attention now that she's gotten rid of Jade for the holidays. "You can come pick her up whenever you like, at some decent hour of the day."

You consider that for a moment. It's like an eight hour drive, so… "How does tomorrow at four sound?" You'll have to clean up a bunch of shit tonight, and you'll have to go to bed early to get up and leave by eight, but you can do that if it means Jade will be here by midnight tomorrow.

"So soon?" The Bitch raises her eyebrows.

"I just live with my bro," you explain, giving her an easy grin and a shrug and thinking all the while god this woman is evil. "Stuff is pretty chill as far as he's concerned, and he knows Jade too. Not as well as me, but we've mailed each other stuff before, so he knows her from that, and then sometimes from Skype calls. I can text him now and double check, though."

You grab your phone and fiddle with it for a second, set a timer to go off with the same vibration that a text would make in four seconds, and put it down. In four seconds, it buzzes, and you swipe your thumb across the screen and pretend to read a message.

"Yup, he's cool with it!" you say. "Wants to know when your break ends and when I'll be takin' you back up north."

"Um…" Jade looks at her calendar while The Bitch nods approvingly. "I think three weeks from Tuesday is my first day back at school, so I should be back that weekend."

"Sounds good," you say, fiddling with your phone again. "I'll be there tomorrow, Jade. Better get packin'! And I should probably clean my room." Jade laughs, still looking radiant and more like Jade than she has in a long while, and nods.

"Yes, you should, you dork!" she giggles.

"Jade! Don't be rude," The Bitch scolds, frowning. Jade shrinks down a little, her enthusiasm draining away.

"Sorry, Dave," she murmurs, biting her lip and not making eye contact. What the fuck.

"You're fine," you say. When did 'dork' become rude, anyway? "For the record, though, you're a total nerd too, Jade. —Just kiddin', of course."

"Well," The Bitch says, "I think Jade really ought to go finish her chores, especially because she has to pack tonight too. The bathtub isn't going to scrub itself, after all!" She laughs as if that's funny, and then reaches over to take the computer.

"Bye, Dave," Jade says tonelessly. She doesn't even struggle at this point, just accepts what this bitch gives her, and that infuriates you.

"Bye," you say, helpless to cheer her up. "I'll see you tomorrow, 'kay?"

"Yeah," she says. "See you."


This place fucking reeks of upper middle class white soccer mom, you think as you drive through the subdivision. No wonder Jade feels so stifled. Let's see, you're looking for house 638, and this is 617, 619, 623… Almost there, then.

At 3:58 PM (hell yeah, you're early), you ring the doorbell. Almost immediately there's pounding footsteps and then the door is flung open, and there's a happy shout ("Dave!") and then—

"Whoa!" You stumble back a step, catching Jade as she throws herself into your arms, laughing like she used to when she was happy all the time. You swing her around once and then hug her tight, holding her off the ground because damn, this girl is fucking tiny.

Over her shoulder, you see The Bitch approaching, a tight, fake smile on her face. You loosen your grip on Jade and let her slide down to the ground, keeping one arm around her as she places one hand on your chest and twists around to see what you're looking at.

"Hey, Mrs. Susan," you greet, giving her a casual wave and a half-smile. "Nice to meet you in person."

"Nice to meet you too, David," she says, looking at you with what she probably thinks is veiled distaste. "Jade, you ran out of the house without your luggage."

"Oh, right," Jade says a little sheepishly, her cheeks going pink. But she doesn't move from where she is, standing in your arms, until you give her a gentle nudge to the door and then follow.

"I'll get them," you offer oh-so-gallantly. "Where are they?"

"Just in the sitting room," Jade says quickly, darting past The Bitch, who steps back out of the way as you enter the house after Jade. In the sitting room, you see a huge suitcase and a duffel bag, the latter of which Jade is scooping up. It's like as big as she is, so you don't feel any guilt at all for taking it from her—oof, this thing is heavy. Right, Jade has some strength in her tiny limbs. You roll the suitcase out of the room, too, ignoring her protests that she can carry something, and out the door.

"Well, have a good time," The Bitch says, watching you leave. "Behave yourself, Jade. And Merry Christmas, David."

"Bye, Mrs. Susan," Jade says, pasting a wan smile on her face.

"Merry Christmas to you too, ma'am," you grin as fakely as you can, giving her a two-fingered salute. Then she shuts the door.

You get Jade and her stuff loaded in the truck and start driving away, because she keeps giving the house furtive glances, and then you put on the music you mixed up just for her, giving her furtive glances of your own to see whether she likes it. When she's smiling softly again, you figure you can start conversation again.

"So like… that lady knows I've been in a car for eight hours, and I get there and she throws you out and slams the door. Not even a 'do you want some water' or anythin'. Sheesh, what a bitch."

"She is that," Jade agrees warmly. "Sorry about the drive, though, I don't want to be that much trouble—"

"Nooo," you draw out the word into a groan. "Jade, look at me. Wait, fuck, no eye contact because I'm driving. Anyway, you're not trouble or a burden, I like driving anyway, and now I get to chat with you all the way home. This is like the biggest win-win ever."

"Oh," she says. Then she falls silent for a moment, tapping her fingers on the seat in time to the music. "Do you want to stop for dinner, then? I'm sure you're hungry…"

"Yeah, I was thinking we could do that," you say. "Know any good places around here, or do you just wanna grab some Mickey D's and head on south?"

"There's a little diner I like," she offers. "We could go there?"

"Tell me where to go and I will go," you say in response, looking at her for just a second with total adoration because god you are so in love with this girl. You don't even know where this thought just came from, but somehow it just hit you again, that she's beautiful and brilliant and perfect. This is your first time seeing her in person, and she's perfect.

When you get to the diner, you hop out of the truck and zoom around to her side. You're too late to open the door for her, but not too late to take her hand as she jumps down from the cab, and then you break coolkid protocol (you have a feeling you'll be doing this a lot) and hug her again, this time without any stupid soccer mom looming over you.

Jade lets out a little happy sigh and leans heavily into you, laying her head on your shoulder. She's just the right height for that, actually.

"You're tall," she murmurs, and you laugh over her head.

"Nah," you say. "You're just really fuckin' tiny. It works for you, though. Kinda cute, actually."

By the way she sort of laughs and clutches your shoulders, hiding her face, you know she's blushing. Are you allowed to revise your statement? Really cute, actually.

Finally, you pull back, though you keep your hand in hers (and evidently she has no problem with that, because she intertwines her fingers with yours and beams brighter than the sun) and walk into the diner. Jade is hella, but so is dinner, after all.


You get home at 11:49 PM, a little earlier than you expected. Jade's asleep, so you text your bro to get him to get the suitcases out of your truck please and thanks except without the courtesies, and then you scoop her up and carry her to your apartment. She stirs and sighs and nuzzles her face into your chest, and you're left standing in the elevator with a face as red as your shirt sleeves. Thank god she's asleep.

You lay her down on your bed when you get there, and then go change into an old T-shirt and some shorts because December or not, it's warm in Texas. Of course. When you turn back around, you could smack yourself—whoops, forgot to pull the blankets up over her.

You go to do that, but as you're stepping back to go sleep on the couch, her eyes flutter open and she clumsily grabs your wrist, half-asleep. "Don't go…"

"Uh…" What are you supposed to do in this situation. You do not know.

"Please?"

Oh, fuck it. You climb into your bed, flicking off the lamp. This time, you thank the darkness for hiding your definitely not blushing face as you stubbornly do not think of the cute girl who's in your bed and aw fuck she's being cuddly and you're blushing so hard oh god.

The door opens and you freeze like a deer in the headlights. Bro walks in to deposit the duffel and the suitcase in your room. Then he stops and looks at you, awkwardly half sitting up with Jade's head on your chest, and he doesn't even say anything. And then he starts to laugh, the ass.

"Shut up," you mutter, doing your best to hide behind Jade's hair.

"Dude, I didn't even say anything," he teases.

"Shut up anyway."

"Oh man," he chuckles, shaking his head, as he starts to leave the room, "this is so going in the photo album."

"Don't you fucking dare!" you halfway sit up, glaring at his retreating back. He laughs and closes the door again, but you have no doubt he'll be back with a camera later.

Jade stirs in your arms, patting your shoulder sleepily. "Calm down, Dave," she slurs. "It's okay, the pumpkins will take care of it…"

"What," you say, looking down at her. She doesn't respond, and you sigh, resigning yourself to the photo album fate, and close your eyes. Hopefully she won't be weirded out in the morning, to find you being all creepy and holding her and everything. God, that isn't a conversation you're looking forward to, but you're too tired to move anyway.


In the morning, you come to consciousness very slowly. You're warm and cozy and there's something stroking your hair and there's something warm against you, and you—wait. That's a someone.

Oh god.

You slowly open your eyes, hoping she's still asleep, to find Jade leaning against your headboard, holding you so your head's in the crook of her neck and your arms are draped over her, both of your legs occupying pretty much the same area. It's cozy and nice, but… oh god.

"Good morning," she says like this is totally normal, and then she kisses the top of your head.

Uh… oh, right. That's probably how her grandfather woke her up in the mornings and suddenly you're sad for her now. Goddammit. Fuck that, you're too tired for this. A glance at the clock tells you it's actually morning—like, it's about nine, and no. Nope. You groan and close your eyes again. You can just… go back to sleep and postpone the "dave why are you creepily holding me as i sleep" conversation, right.

Jade laughs and gently shakes your shoulder. "Hey, sleepyhead! Wake up!"

You crack your eyes open to give her a questioning look—wait, shit.

Your shades are not on.

Suddenly all your indolence vanishes as you carefully close your eyes again, pretending to be totally chill. You're chill. The chill is everywhere and everything. It's you. You are chill.

"Dave?"

"It's still in the am hours," you groan. "I should not be awake."

She laughs and ruffles your hair again. "You are very warm and cuddly, you know that?"

"I'm not cuddly, I'm cool." What can you say, you really like making her laugh. And apparently, half asleep statements are the way to do that.

"I didn't know those two things were mutually exclusive," she teases. "C'mon, get up! Let's go do things!"

Doing things. How about no. Then again, if she gets out of bed, you can get your shades, and no one will be the wiser. "Fine," you groan, rolling away from her towards the wall. "There, I'm not holdin' you down anymore."

She does get up, but then she grabs your arm and tugs at you. You panic and grab the bedsheets, but they don't really give much purchase, and in the end there's Jade, you, a pillow, and half the blanket on the floor.

"Gee, thanks for the wake-up call," you say sarcastically, rolling over and grabbing your shades before she looks at you. Just before you jam them on your face, though, she hugs you from behind, pinning your arms to your sides.

"Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm so happy I'm with you today," she beams. "So thank you!"

"Yeah, any time," you shrug, wriggling around to free one arm so you can pat her shoulder. Right as you're unfolding the shades, she rests her chin on your shoulder.

"Dave?"

"What?"

"Why do you always wear the shades, even inside and at night?"

Shit. "Uh, because—"

"And don't just say irony," she warns. "I know you better than that." The problem here is that she's right, she does know you better than that.

"Because people usually get weirded out by my eyes, and I've gotten used to wearing them," you finally say, distinctly uncomfortable.

"Can I see them?" she asks immediately, like you knew she would. In answer, you take a breath and then toss the shades onto the nightstand, turning around to look down at her.

She peers up at you intently. You can't really tell what she's thinking, and that kind of unnerves you, but she hasn't fled or called you a demon or anything like people have in the past, so… yeah, you're still nervous.

"I like them," she finally says, giving you a sunny smile. "They suit you."

"Uh, thanks," you reply, self-consciously rubbing the back of your head. Jade laughs, the sound calming you down a hell of a lot because it reminds you she's happy.

"You are the poster boy for bedhead," she teases, reaching up to stroke your hair into place. You really hope you aren't blushing—

The door opens. "Breakfast's ready, kids!" Bro crows, grinning like a cat with the fuckin' cream as his gaze slides on over to you. Or, at least, you think it does. His shades are in the way. Yours are still off, which is weird, and you bet he's staring at you because of that, too. "Why, Dave, you look kinda red in the face. Need some air?"

God fucking damn it.


— turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 7:53 PM –

TG: yo rose
TG: guess what my christmas present is
TG: i can guarantee its better than everything youve got

TT: You can guarantee it?
TT: Intriguing. You certainly have my attention.
TT: What do you have, then?

TG: here ill video call you so you can see

"Yo, Jade," you say, sitting on your bed with your laptop. She's at the other end, lying on her back and listening to some music you guys mixed earlier when you showed her how to work turntables. When she looks up, you pat the bed next to you, and she rolls over.

You call Rose as Jade excitedly bounces into place at your side, leaning against your shoulder so she can be in the picture too.

"Hi, Rose!" she calls as soon as Lalonde picks up. The look of surprise on her face is priceless; you quickly screenshot it for use later. For what use, you don't really know, but you probably can find something.

"Jade?" she breathes, her face full of wonder. "I—wow! Alright, Dave, you were right, I've got nothing to top this."

Jade giggles and you affectionately drape your arm around her shoulders. "Told you I could give you a guarantee," you say, looking at Jade warmly. God, it's so good to see her happy. You don't even want to think about how in a few weeks you're going to have to hand her back off to those hellish fuckers in Oklahoma. Can't you just keep her with you here or something?

Rose laughs brightly. "Yes, you did. How are you, Jade?"

When John gets his ass online you add him to the call, too, and then all four of you are together or as together as you're gonna get anytime soon, and life is pretty good. Outside, the wind has turned chilly and you and Jade settle in with blankets and hot chocolate while your Northerner friends laugh at you and show all the snow outside their houses, but you don't even care.

This is how it should be.


Later that night, when most people (including John and Rose) are asleep, you and Jade are both lying on the living room floor amid a pile of blankets, your head on a pillow and hers on your stomach. On the TV there's a movie playing—Star Wars episode six, to be specific—but you're not really paying attention to it. You're just chatting.

"Mrs. Susan thinks you're super respectable," Jade tells you thoughtfully. "She probably thinks I'm some sort of slut, though, going over to boy's houses when I'm not even dating them. I had a study date at Matt's house the other day—and I wasn't even the only one there!—and she gave me so many dirty looks. I think she just wants to get me married off or something so she can say she's a good person for fostering a kid, without having to worry about actually raising me."

"You're probably not wrong there," you shrug. "That woman's a grade A bitch. Probably thinks teenage girls can't be trusted and all that, right?"

"Right," she says tiredly. "I think I've gotten the 'don't have sex' talk about fifteen times so far. When I said I don't even have a boyfriend she was like 'that makes it worse'!"

"The hell does she even want from you?" you snort derisively.

"Good question!" Jade throws up her hands exasperatedly. "I think she wants me to have a boyfriend and then she wants him to be stuck with me forever. At least she'd stop yelling at me all the time if I had one, maybe. There would be an end to the 'figure out your life' and 'no one could ever want you' talks."

"Excuse me, did you just say she said no one would ever want you?" you repeat, aghast. "The fuck?"

"I don't know," Jade sighs. "Sometimes I think she's right. Sometimes I think that can't possibly be it and that she's just hurting my feelings a lot, but… I don't know."

"She's wrong," you say immediately. "I told you before and I'll tell you again, you're great."

Jade turns her head to give you a little grin. "Thanks," she says. "Now if only someone could make Mrs. Susan stop lecturing me about it, everything would be even better!"

"We could tell her I'm your boyfriend," you suggest. She rolls over and turns to you, eyes wide.

"You'd do that? For me?"

"Huh?" Did you say something wrong? You were just suggesting fake-dating, that's a thing a friend would do right?

"You'd pretend to date me just like that, if I asked you?"

You run a hand through your hair. "Jade, I'd actually date you, just like that, if you wanted me to."

Her eyes go even wider, and then suddenly she's on top of you, her arms on either side of you and her hair falling everywhere. You reach up and tuck it behind her ear, wondering if you look like as big of a mess of nerves as you feel.

"You would?" she breathes.

"Yeah," you say. "If you wanted, I would."

She kisses you, and the world dissolves into stardust and galaxies and supernovas and Jade, and it's beautiful.


"I don't want to go," she whimpers, looking small and fragile and sad and broken as she clutches your blankets around her. "Don't make me go back."

You hesitate for a long moment and then sit down, pull this blanket-swathed bundle of Jade Harley into your lap. She melts against your chest and starts to cry softly, clinging to you desperately.

"Please don't make me," she begs, over and over. "Please." You rub her back and wipe the tears from her cheeks and rock her back and forth, humming softly in the hopes that your voice will be able to soothe her where your words fail. You don't know what to do. You don't know what to say.

"Fuck it," you finally murmur, kissing her hair. "I won't. I won't. You're safe, I'm not taking you back to them." There is no way you could bring yourself to do that, not if it hurts her like this.

She cries herself to sleep in your arms, and you lie awake, staring at the ceiling and then at her. You're lost.


You try your hardest, but Bro makes her go back.

You don't talk to Bro for two weeks.


— gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 4:48 —

GG: hey dave
GG: did i forget a keyring with one set of keys and a mario mushroom keychain?

TG: yeah you did
TG: need me to mail it to you

GG: no its fine!
GG: theyre a spare set of house keys
GG: i was just wondering where they went
GG: so long as they arent lost its fine

TG: you sure

GG: yeah

TG: ok
TG: how are you

GG: i miss you
GG: i miss you i miss you so much
GG: i cant do this i cant come back here im going to die

TG: im sorry
TG: im so fucking sorry jade
TG: im going to see if i can bring you home again
TG: promise

GG: everyone hates me
GG: i hate me!
GG: i hate myself so much oh my god…
GG: i shouldnt but i do
GG: i hate myself i hate this place i want to go home

TG: objection not everyone hates you
TG: hi
TG: your boyfriend loves you a hell of a lot
TG: just sayin

GG: …
GG: … i know
GG: i love you too

TG: [heart]
TG: look i sent you a heart first
TG: were getting into serious relationship territory here

GG: [heart]
GG: i honestly think that you john and rose are the only good things in my life

TG: hey no don't say that babe
TG: im sure theres more things
TG: weve just gotta think of them

GG: no im pretty sure its just you guys
GG: i hate everything about oklahoma
GG: no one wants me here
GG: im just the extra girl thats it

TG: would they notice if you just ran away
TG: because i would be more than willing to be your getaway car
TG: or getaway truck i guess

GG: i dont know
GG: im too cowardly for that anyway
GG: and i have to go now
GG: theres chores to finish before i get dinner
GG: bye dave i love you

— gardenGnostic [GG] is offline! –

TG: love you too
TG: dammit


Rose texts you one day while you're still in class—the last class of the day, actually. Your teacher literally could not care less, so you get your phone out to look at it.

TT: Dave.
TT: Jade just told me that The Bitch is not letting her visit anyone over Spring Break.

Oh, shit. Fuck The Bitch, let her go to fucking hell. What reason could she possibly have? Other than "I'm a horrible piece of shit and I just don't want people who are actually rays of sunshine in human form to be happy"?

TG: fuck
TG: what do we do

TT: I don't know.

This is bad, this is bad, this is really bad. Jade's been looking forward to spring break since Christmas ended. You can't just leave her there like this, you have to do something

TG: is she ok

And Rose has no plan, either. None of you counted on this. Why did none of you think about The Bitch getting in the way? That was such a huge possibility! God you should have come up with a plan B.

TT: No.
TT: She's stopped responding to me, actually.
TT: I don't think she's okay.
TT: Maybe she'll reply to you.

TG: yeah ok im gonna skip the rest of class
TG: ill talk to you later im gonna call her

You grab your backpack and sling it over your shoulder, thrusting your phone back into your pocket. "Yo, teacher. Can I go to the bathroom?"

"Go ahead," the dude says blandly, not even looking up. You saunter out the door and then sprint out of the building, already hitting speed dial two as you approach the parking lot where your truck is.

"Hi," Jade greets, her voice empty and suspiciously hollow. She's been crying.

"Hey, sweetheart," you say. "Rose told me. God, I'm tempted to drive up there and murder that bitch… anyway. How're you doing, darlin'?"

The one upside to this situation is that you and Jade are a couple and you get to use cheesy nicknames for her, like 'babe', 'honey', 'sweetheart', and 'darling'. That really is not a big upside, though, not in the face of everything else. You and Jade could easily be a couple without the rest of this.

"I—not good," she admits, and all the way home you helplessly sit and hear the terrible sound of her tears.


You walk into the bedroom and flop over with a sigh, reaching for your blankets. Oh, your computer's flashing, huh. Looks like there's a message on your—

Oh god.

— gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 2:31 AM –

GG: hi dave…
GG: i just wanted to let you know that
GG: i love you
GG: i really love you
GG: and im sorry that im letting you down like this
GG: i just cant go on
GG: i cant do this i cant handle anymore
GG: and im sorry im so sorry because youre trying so hard to help me
GG: but im just a lost cause, im too much of a weakling
GG: i know this is going to hurt you and i am sorry
GG: i am so sorry
GG: i love you so much
GG: the last thing i would ever want to do is hurt you
GG: which i guess is fitting because its the last thing i am doing
GG: that probably makes me a horrible girlfriend
GG: well im horrible at everything else, why not this too!
GG: apparently im also horrible at writing a last letter
GG: im rambling all over the place haha
GG: god i love you
GG: please always remember that for me
GG: and dont worry about me either
GG: theres a pistol in the closet
GG: it will be fast and painless im pretty sure
GG: and im sorry that i couldnt go on
GG: i know you wanted me to
GG: all of you did
GG: i just
GG: i cant
GG: im sorry
GG: i love you

Oh god.

TG: no no no no no no no no no NO
TG: im not reading this oh my god jade
TG: pick up your fucking phone
TG: jade
TG: JADE
TG: YOUD BETTER BE THERE DO YOU HEAR ME
TG: FUCKING ANSWER ME

You jump up from your desk and feverishly pace the room, raking your hands through your hair and wiping your sweaty palms on your jeans and calling her number over and over and over. There's no response.

TG: please answer me
TG: jade
TG: jade i need you to be okay oh my god
TG: jade please
TG: dont do this dont do this to me dont you dare do this
TG: or if youre absolutely set on it
TG: at least say a proper fucking goodbye
TG: so i can join you

Your heart is pounding like all the horses in the world converging on one point to fight to the death over an apple or something. Do horses even like apples? You don't know you don't care oh god Jade isn't replying why isn't she answering her phone. Please, please let the idea of you getting hurt or trying the same thing she's pulling be as horrible for her to think about as the idea of her dying is to you. You're bluffing. Mostly. You kind of feel horrible for bluffing about that of all things, but if it keeps her safe, you'll do whatever you have to. Please let it work. Please let her have not pulled the trigger yet.

Your brain is an asshole and makes you consider, for one vile millisecond, the thought of your Jade lying in a pool of her own blood, unmoving, dead. You think you might throw up.

TG: if you don't reply im gonna assume youre gone
TG: and this sword right here
TG: its been in my leg once
TG: that was nonfatal
TG: i think if i put it in my heart though

GG: NO!

Relief washes through you so fast and furious that you collapse to your knees, unable to tear your gaze from the little green letters on your phone screen. She's alive, she's alive, she's alive, and you can breathe again oh thank god thank god. When your knees stop being too weak to support you, you surge to your feet and grab a hoodie and sweatpants and your car keys.

TG: pick up your phone

There is no reply.

TG: god DAMMIT jade i know youre there
TG: youre staring at this message crying
TG: pick up
TG: your damn
TG: phone

This time, when you call, she picks up. Doesn't say anything, though. That's okay. You just need her there.

"Hey," you say, not even bothering to hide the trembling in your voice. "Hey. Jade. Are you—are you there?"

Where the fuck—oh, there are the sticky notes. You grab a pen and scrawl a note to your brother—"gone to oklahoma be back later"—and slam it onto the fridge, and then you sprint out of the apartment, going down the stairs.

"I'm here," Jade whispers. God, she sounds awful; you wish she were here so you could make sure she was okay. "I—Dave," and her voice breaks, and then she starts to sob brokenly.

"Jade," you say. "Jade, talk to me."

"I don't—I don't know what to say," she wails. It hurts you to hear, and your heart is still pounding because she was that close to—to—

If you had gone to bed a few minutes earlier, she'd be…

You can't even bring yourself to think it, you can't, you can't. She's going to be okay, she's going to be okay, she's going to be okay. You repeat this thought like a mantra.

"Well, let's just talk. I'm gonna need you to make sure I don't fall asleep for the next few hours."


You are really damn glad you had the foresight to keep a phone charger in your truck, because a seven-and-a-half hour phone call is real draining on the battery. But you pull up to Jade's house around ten or eleven in the morning, having driven all night. She's still talking, though she sounds exhausted. But you got her to put the pistol back in the closet and to close the door on it, so that's a huge relief at least.

It turns out that she's at home alone this weekend, because the rest of the family went to a reunion and didn't want her to come. That plus the news about spring break pushed her over the edge, apparently. You're just really glad you were able to pull her back.

"Okay, question for you," you say as you park the truck in the driveway. "You feel up to getting up and walking around?"

"I want to sleep," she replies, her voice hollow and empty. "Maybe forever."

"I take that as a no," you say, tossing the now empty cup of gas station cheap coffee in the back seat. Then you climb out of the truck and head to the front door, using the key she forgot at your place to get in. From what you've seen in Skype calls, her room is upstairs and down the hall.

"Why?" she asks blandly. "I'm not hungry, if you were going to tell me to get food."

"I was going to tell you to open the front door," you reply. There—that door is hers. You open it and stick your head in, your eyes widening when you see her sitting there, tear-streaked face and dark bags under her eyes and all. She gasps when she looks up and sees you, and then you've flown across the distance to drop your phone on the bed without a care and clutch her to you, holding her more tightly than is probably comfortable. But you don't care about that either.

"Dave?" she breathes, looking like she can't even process that you're there. "You're—but—how?"

"I started driving when you picked up the phone," you murmur, kissing her hair and her forehead and her cheeks and her nose. She starts to cry harder, and you thumb away the tears. "God, Jade…"

She buries her face in your shoulder, trembling. You cradle her gently and caress her shoulders and back.

"I'm sorry," she whimpers after a long minute or two. "I can't—you didn't have to—I'm sorry."

"No, no, we're not doing the sorry game right now," you shake your head, cupping her cheek. "Jade, look at me," you say. She tilts her head back and looks up at you obligingly. "I love you," you say. "I drove here like that because I love you, and I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Including yourself."

"I'm—I love you too," she whispers. "I love you so much."

You kiss her. She tastes like salty tears and you probably taste of coffee, but you don't care because she's here and she's okay and she's in your arms and you're never, ever letting her go.

"God," she says when you break apart for air. "I feel like such an idiot, I did all that and worried you and made you come all the way out here for nothing because look at me, I'm fine—"

You kiss her again, because you're not awake enough to process words to tell her that no she's not an idiot and that you love her and that she's not fine and that that's okay, and you just need her to know all of it. She clings to you.

"You're not fine," you say. "You're not fine, but you are perfect. God, Jade, don't you ever scare me like that again."

"I won't," she says, and even without the words, you know it's a promise.


You fall asleep together in her bed, both of you exhausted after being up all night. Eight hours of driving is tiring as fuck, and eight hours of on-and-off crying is too; you put the pistol on the highest rack in the closet and then wrap yourself around Jade and pull all the comforters around her too.

A good long nap later, it's noon. You wake up first and just look at her, lying there asleep. Dreamland has removed the worry from her brow and the sorrow from her eyes; she looks happy, or at peace, at least. She's beautiful.

You stroke the hair back from her cheeks and her forehead and kiss them too, still drowning in relief that she's okay, she's alive, she's alright—the fact that you had doubts about her being alive for several minutes last night still sends you reeling. Never again, never again.

You ought to message Rose and John and tell them what's happened, ask if they know (rather, if Rose knows) how to fix this issue and get Jade out of this horrible place. There's gotta be a way.

But… you can do that in a few minutes. You're just going to lie here and hold her, hold her like she's the most precious thing in the world. Which she kinda is. Actually, there's no "kinda" about it. You pull her closer and stroke her hair away from her face, pressing a kiss to her forehead again and just looking at her, drinking in her presence, the fact that she's okay, everything.

Eventually she stirs, wakes up. "Oh," she says when she sees you there. "I didn't dream it…"

"Nah," you shake your head slightly, smiling just at the sound of her voice. "I'm here, Jade."

She rolls over and buries her face in your hoodie again. "I'm—"

"Not sorry, right? You weren't about to say sorry, were you?"

That gets you a soft laugh. "I love you," she says instead, raising her head to kiss your cheek. "I love you very very much."

You touch her cheek, lean your forehead against hers. "Love you too, Jade. I love you too."


— turntechGodhead [TG] opened a group memo at 15:52 –
— turntechGodhead [TG] added ectoBiologist [EB] —
— turntechGodhead [TG] added tentacleTherapist [TT] –

TG: shes ok

EB: THANK GOD
EB: she hasn't been responding to a thing i've said
EB: i was so worried!

TT: Oh, thank goodness.
TT: I was also extremely worried.
TT: What happened?

TG: i was awake when she sent it
TG: talked her out of it
TG: shes with me right now
TG: were at my place
TG: [image:"camera roll 341" sent]
TG: see shes asleep on me shes ok

TT: At your place?

EB: not at theirs?

TG: yeah uh
TG: by talked her out of it i meant that
TG: well
TG: i drove up to oklahoma and brought her home

TT: …
TT: While under the circumstances I can understand why,
TT: I don't know that that was a good idea.
TT: Her foster family has no idea, after all.

EB: well fuck them! they don't get to have her if this is what they do
EB: i'm going to go talk to my dad
EB: i'll be back in a little bit!

TT: John, wait!

— ectoBiologist [EB] is now an idle chum! –

TT: Or not.

TG: but yeah youre right lalonde
TG: i honestly dont know what to do from here
TG: im not giving her back to them though
TG: they will have to go through me to get her back
TG: and they dont care enough for that

TT: Fair point, but I'm more concerned from the legal perspective.

TG: oh right thats a thing huh

TT: Yes, that is indeed a thing.
TT: I wonder…

EB: hey guys!

TT: You're back quickly.

EB: yeah it turns out he didn't need any convincing at all!
EB: i just asked and he said yes!

TG: asked what

EB: whether jade can come live with us, duh

TT: Wait.
TT: What?

EB: i asked my dad if jade can come live with us
EB: and he said yes!
EB: now it's a matter of transferring custody or whatever
EB: he's already emailing The Bitch and her husband now!

TT: Well.
TT: That works out beautifully.

TG: seriously holy shit
TG: i wish wed just done that from the beginning
TG: for her sake i mean

TT: As do I.
TT: This whole thing hurt her terribly.

TG: yall should come visit sometime
TG: shes here for the foreseeable future
TG: drop in over spring break if you want

EB: maybe!
EB: at the very least we can skype again.

TT: Yes, agreed.
TT: I will make every attempt to be physically present, though.
TT: It'll be good to see you both, I think.

TG: yeah
TG: ok shes waking up so im gonna go
TG: i promised to finish star wars with her this evening

EB: awww.
EB: have fun!
EB: and take care of her dave.

TG: i will

TT: And give her all my love.

EB: mine too!

TG: got it
TG: will deliver
TG: no love left for either of yall its all hers now
TG: bye

EB: bye dave!

TT: See you later.

— turntechGodhead [TG] left memo –

You close the computer and turn to Jade, who's been asleep on your shoulder for the past half hour. You've just gotten home—well, you just got home like an hour ago. Jade curled up against you and you held her until she fell asleep, and then you went to talk to John and Rose, who were probably on pins and needles this whole time. You kind of feel bad for not texting them sooner, but... well, you didn't really have a chance. Whatever though, it's all fine now.

"Hi, Dave," she says, quiet but sounding more like herself already now that she's away from that awful place.

"Hey," you give her a little smile. "Sleep well?"

"I did," she smiles back. "Your shoulders are kind of bony, but I don't mind. You're very warm and cuddly."

You actually laugh at that. "Well, that's always good to know. You're kind of tiny, but I don't mind that either. It makes it easier to hold you.." God, you're being cheesy. But then again, given the events of last night, you think you're allowed to be cheesier than nachos at the skating rink.

"I'm glad," she says with a little laugh. "It's nice when you hold me."

"It is," you agree, hugging her close. She leans against you and nuzzles your neck, and you kiss her hair and hold her tightly.

She'll be alright. You both will. You're going to make sure of it.


AN: The next chapter is more or less Jade's side of the story, not really a sequel. This story was published a while back on tumblr as well! I'm just finally getting around to posting it here. It's mostly the same, just with some editing. Part two will be up soon!