This is an alternate universe fiction that grew from a vague idea and turned into a multchapter monster with actual plot.

My thanks go to ClaudiaRain for offering advice and taking her own time to look over this for me.

SUADADE

pronounced: so-dah-deh

Noun:

(in Portuguese folk culture) a deep emotional state of melancholic longing for a person or thing that is absent:

'Saudade is not nostalgia. In nostalgia, one has a mixed happy and sad feeling, a memory of happiness in the good old days, but a sadness that it is over and gone forever. Saudade is like nostalgia but with the hope that what is being longed for, might return, even if that return is so remote to be almost of no consequence to the present.'

X

Harry's eyes snapped open and he inhaled sharply. His vision adjusted slowly in the dark room as he laid there. He'd been dreaming of something he couldn't remember, and the feeling of forgetting lingered. He was missing something. Mind racing, he closed his eyes briefly, trying in vain to recall what he had seen before he woke up.

It was no use. Still, the nagging feeling would not subside. He opened eyes again with a resigned sigh and turned his head to squint at the glowing dial of his alarm clock. It read 5:59. Harry freed his arm from the blanket and reached over the shut the alarm off, only to be startled as the hour switched to 6:00 and the alarm started blaring. He slammed his hand down hard on the snooze button to silence it and then clicked the switch on top to shut off the alarm for good.

Sitting up, he stretched and then swung his legs over the side of the mattress, feet settling on the carpeted floor. His hands rested on either side of his legs, gripping the edge of the bed. He couldn't shake the feeling that something important was just out of reach. Scrubbing a hand over the stubble on his face, he stood and started gathering his clothes for work. When he was ready he headed for the bathroom, wincing at the sudden brightness when he flipped the light switch. Harry stood there blinking for a moment, until his eyes moved over to the counter by the sink and he frowned. He'd left his contact case there the night before. It was gone. As he muttered under his breath he proceeded to check the drawers and the medicine cabinet for the missing case. With no luck in either place, he turned to survey the room again, and as he looked back towards the sink, he caught sight of the case laying on the ground, under the edge of the cabinet, almost out of view. As he crouched down knowing what he was about to find, he still frowned when he pulled the case out. It was upside down and open. His contacts were missing and he couldn't see them anywhere on the floor under the cabinet.

"Great," he barked, without humor. Voice loud in the quiet bathroom. He'd been meaning to schedule an appointment with his optometrist for his annual eye exam, but work had taken the forefront of every concern and the appointment had never been made. Harry had exactly one pair of contacts left and now they were missing. Unwilling to waste anymore time on what would be a futile search, he wasn't going to put dirty contacts in anyway, he continued getting ready for his day. He had a backup pair of glasses in his glove box. They would just have to do.

Twenty minutes later, he cursed when he found the glasses. Somehow they'd broken, the ear pieces laying on his passenger seat seemed to mock him. Harry gritted his teeth as he exhaled sharply. A headache had already began by the time he started the car. Apparently he'd be visiting the optometrist sooner rather than later.

X

Caitlin was running late but that didn't mean she was going to go without coffee. She'd overslept because her morning had been disturbed by a dream that she couldn't remember upon waking. But as she scrambled to get a shower and get dressed, she couldn't escape the feeling that she was forgetting something. She'd even double checked her phone to see if she'd missed an early appointment. Her hours were usually the same day to day, but every now and then an emergency appointment came through at the ophthalmology department and she usually fielded them. But no, her planner confirmed that her earliest appointment wasn't until 10:00 am. She'd intended to go in early to prepare for a presentation she was giving at the end of the month.

Caitlin Snow had a double PhD in ophthalmology and bioengineering. She'd gotten a job just out of college at the best research hospital in the country, right in downtown Central City, and worked with a team on advancing treatments for degenerative eye diseases. She also worked part time in the pediatric wing, taking on cases ranging from early eye problems to simple eye tests. She loved her job. Most days.

Some days though she felt like something was missing. She'd been married for a short and wonderful three years and then an unexpected illness had taken her husband in just three short and painful months. After her husband died, Caitlin had come to a crossroads and had taken the path that led her to a promising career but almost no social life. It suited her for the most part but sometimes she was lonely. There had been two or three men in the years after she lost her husband, but the feeling that she was missing something never left and she had never really connected to anyone.

So she worked hard and threw herself into research. Then the opportunity to work with the pediatric wing had come up and she jumped at the chance. Her life had been fulfilling, even with whatever seemed to be continually absent. Today though, the absence seemed even more pronounced and she wondered if she just missed her husband, even if that hadn't quite explained anything

Caitlin made her way through the city and to Jitters coffe on her way to work. Research could wait, she needed caffeine. As she approached the door, she arrived at the same time as another customer. A tall man with a shock of unruly dark hair and the bluest eyes she'd ever seen. He glanced at her as they both arrived at the door and then reached to open it for her just as she lifted her hand to do the same. Their hands bumped as they both went the pull the door open and a jolt of static caused her to drop her hand back down quickly. The man frowned at her but yanked the door open and waited for her to enter ahead of him. She offered a rushed thank you and made her way to the counter.

"Hello Caitlin, the usual? You're running late again." Iris called out from behind the counter with a smile. Caitlin nodded, passing her card over to pay for her drink. As she turned to move down the counter, she bumped into someone. The man from the door glared at her, eyes narrowed slightly when she turned to apologize.

"I'm really sorry. Excuse me." She offered, as she felt her face heat with embarrassment. The man huffed a breath out and rolled his eyes before he stepped around her to place his order. Caitlin felt a surge of annoyance but let it go as she watched Iris make her drink. Looking around, she spoted a familiar brown haired man across the coffee shop and smiled to herself. "I think your admirer is back." She whispered conspiratorialy to the young woman.

"I know. He's here every day. And he's so awkward! It's adorable." The woman said with a smile as she glanced over at the man in question.

"Why don't you go ask him out?"

"I'm waiting to see how long it takes him to get up the nerve. It's cute. I did find out his name though, it's Barry." Iris put the lid on Caitlin's drink and passed it across the counter. Caitlin took it with a smile and said her goodbyes. Just as she turned, coffee in hand, she heard Iris call out a warning. The warning was too late and suddenly she collided with someone and she watched in what seems like slow motion as her drink tumbles from her hand. 'At least it's iced' was the only thing she coukd think as she turned towards the man who it had spilled all over.

The man from the door. And the one she had run into not five minutes before. His blue eyes were narrowed in a glare and his mouth seemed to move into an even deeper frown than she'd seen before. Caitlin cringed. His black slacks had drops of coffee the dripped down the legs where the liquid had splashed and his shoes were surrounded by the spreading puddle. Neither moved for an instant, Caitlin aware that she was flushed from embarrassment as she struggled to speak. He beat her to it.

"Perhaps you need to get your eyes checked," he ground out, voice low and angry. Her mortification was suddenly replaced by irritation.

Outraged, she said "excuse me?"

"You seem to make a habit of running in to people."

"And you seem to make a habit of standing directly behind them when they don't know you're there!" she hissed back, defensive and embarrassed.

"All the more reason to get your eyes looked at. Do you need a recommendation for a doctor? " Harry snapped and Caitlin bristled as she opened her mouth to unleash an insult, which was averted as both Iris and Barry rushed over. Iris had a rag and Barry offered her an awkward smile before he cleared his throat.

"Can I help?"

"Thanks Barry, I think I've got it." Iris said as she smiled, which caused him to blush furiously as he attempted to reach for the rag at the same moment Iris knelt to clean up the mess. In doing so he bumped Harry, who dropped his own coffee onto the floor. Caitlin heard him growl in irritation as he bent to pick up his cup and Caitlin's. Iris stood, sending an apologetic glance at Caitlin as she walked back around the counter for more rags. Frozen in place, Harry and Caitlin regarded each other cooly, Harry was still visibly angry and Caitlin was on edge and defensive. When Harry moved again, this time to reach for a napkin on the counter next to them, Caitlin reached to push holder closer to him gently and their hands met. Static sparked between them again and she gasped softly. Harry paused and glanced at her again, his blue eyes troubled. She mumbled another apology as he yanked several napkins from the holder and dried his hands. He huffed again, tossing them in the trash and then without another word he turned around and started walking towards the door. Surprised, Caitlin watched him walk away, calling out to him before she realized what she was doing.

"Can I at least buy you another coffee?"

Harry only paused when he reached the door, hardly turning back to look at her. His eyes were narrowed and his mouth was still set in a frown but he didn't seem as angry.

"I think it would be best to avoid accident number three. Don't you?" and with that he turned and walked out the door.

"What an asshole." Barry's voice made Caitlin jump and she turned with a half-hearted smile to look at him. Iris returned then, mouth opened in an exaggerated 'oh my god'. Letting out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, Caitlin slumped and leaned against the counter. Iris laughed and held her arms up, offering the brunette a hug.

"Don't worry about him Caitlin, he's always grumpy." She offered, letting go of her friend. Caitlin laughed softly and then surveyed the mess at her feet. Coffee had pooled over a good size area of the floor and splashed up the side of the counter. Other customers stepped around the mess and in general avoided the area. Iris pulled a mop out from behind the counter and began cleaning up. Barry hovered, awkward and shy, transfixed by her.

"I'm sorry about the mess."

"Don't worry about it. Seems like you're just having one of those days, girl." Caitlin gave a resigned nod and absently turned to look back at the door. The sense that she'd missed something again reared up but she couldn't put her finger on what. She shrugged it off as she sidestepped the now drying floor and made her way back to the register. Iris met her there with a smile and punched in her order, waving off Caitlin's debit card. "It's on the house." with a grateful smile, Caitlin stepped aside as she carefully lookes around her for any other unfortunate victims and moved to stand near Barry. Iris quickly produced two cups of coffee and handed one to Caitlin. Turning her attention to Barry, she motioned him closer and he leaned in."This one's on me. But I'd love to go to dinner if you want."

"Oh... Um... Yes! I mean. Yes. Of course. That would be... I..uh...the..." The young man was flustered and Caitlin grinned. She placed a hand on his forearm and smiled, then looked at her friend conspiratorially.

"He said yes. He'll pick you up at 7."

"Yes. That." Barry offered, shutting up and as he smiles deeply at the both of them.

"See you at 7 Barry. And you, try to have a better day Caitlin."

Caitlin opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again and nodded. With a wave she made her way towards the door. She lifted her hand cautiously, taking a deep breath and gingerly set her finger tips against the handle

Nothing. No sparks. She chewed her lip in thought as she pushed her way through and out onto the street. She'd never get any research done now.

X