Warmth
Moments, just a few seconds, are what make life worth living at times. Seconds building, imprinting themselves on our mind, so that in the darkest times we just think back to those few shards of time and we smile. I grip the wheel tightly as we drive through the slow shower of leaves falling from the lines of trees on either side of the road. I watch him from the corner of my eye as he rambles on about something to do with the model choice for the cover of the November Vogue issue. I let my eyes drink in the sight of him, knowing that this year will be the last of us like this. Carefree, idiotically naïve while we talk of our future, making it sound far off instead of the short eight months come June. A smile comes to my face as I thought back to when I first met him. Beautiful, passionate, and strong – he was everything I needed and so much more than I thought I wanted.
I sneak peeks of him while he talks, watching how his hands raise up in frustration and his mouth curves when he speaks. I love him. I love him so much more then I even know how to express. I feel it start to build inside me. The raw, and oh so familiar ache, of just needing to hold him overtakes me. Not being able to take it anymore I pull over to the side of the road, and park infront of a random colonial style house. His blue eyes snap to mine, and his delicate eyebrows rise in a question
"Blaine?" His voice is soft and oh so calming. I turn off the car and let the keys fall in my lap. He watches my every move with a look of drama. I simply take his hand in both of mine, and run my thumbs along his smooth skin. I keep my gaze on his hand and inhale his sweet scent.
"Kurt…." I hear my voice weak from all the emotions I am holding in. "I love you…." I leave it at that not wanting to over complicate my expression of love with useless words. I feel his forehead against mine. We sit there like that for a moment, a shard of time, and I immortalize it in mind to keep with me always.
"I love you too…" His reply comes only seconds later, but it felt like hours. Our eyes meet and smiles form. I feel myself get brave under his obvious adoration.
"I am so glad I found you. Promise me that no matter what happens, even if we do not work out as a couple, you will always be in my life." I find myself pleading. He chuckles and I feel the vibrations course through my body.
"Oh Blaine…" His hand grazes my cheek. "You will always be in my life, I will never say goodbye."
"Promise?" I feel like a child, as I search his eyes for truth.
"Cross my heart and hope to wear Ed Hardy." He smiles.
"Kurt… " I start but he places a finger to my lips and shakes his head.
"Blaine… I will never say goodbye to you…. Remember only death can stop true love…"
I smile and look out the front windshield. "Can only delay it…" Kurt tilts his head as he looks at my confused.
"What?" He asks me.
I look at him, memorizing every fleck of blue and grey in those every changing eyes. "Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for a while." He pulls me into a kiss. I try to memorize everything, from the feel to the sensations it sends coursing through me.
"You are amazing Blaine Warbler." He pauses and there it was. The smile he only smiled for me. I lock into my memory, the picture of him smiling against the background of falling leaves. There was my moment. He opens his mouth and sighs, "Can we please go to the Lima Bean now… You need coffee." I take just one second longer to look at him. Then I pick up the keys from my lap. I put them in the ignition and cast him a loving look. "As you wish…" I say and start the car.
Moments…. Moments like these come back to me as I lay in bed alone counting the months till I graduate. I look at his picture and recall our conversation that ended an hour ago.
"Blaine… I just need some space…. It's just until June. It is not goodbye, but rather I'll see you later." Kurt said in a business like tone. I didn't even have the words to reply. I only grunted in agreement. A voice in the background called his name, a male voice, and with few words of encouragement and a see you later he was gone. I study his picture by the few beams of streetlight that flutter through my window. I feel myself begin to break, and tears start rolling down my cheeks.
"As you wish Kurt….. As you wish…."
