Help From Afar
A series of oneshots that boil down to various crossover girls showing up to yell at Dumbledore over his treatment of Harry and possibly burn his beard off.
I seem to remember starting something similar to this before but I never finished the first chapter and have since lost the file...eh, lets get started. Oh, and before I forget, this idea was inspired by the Dumbledore Gets Ripped a New One story by sheltie. Lets start big with our first lovely lady, the Magical Devil Girl, Serafall Leviathan! Enjoy!
Serafall
When Dumbledore got out of bed that morning, the very last thing he was expecting was to find the front page of the Daily Prophet literally shouting about a massive iceberg in the Ministry fountain with Tom and a good number of his followers frozen inside. To make matters worse, the ice was magical in nature and resisted all attempts to melt it, although it had been confirmed that everyone inside was very dead indeed. Needless to say, this little revelation put a major crimp in his plans to have Harry sacrifice himself to weaken Tom so he could kill him and take all the glory. After having him knock up the Weasley girl so Dumbledore could get his hands on the Potter Vaults of course.
He was so focused on wondering how his plans had so utterly imploded on his way back from breakfast that he completely missed the woman sitting in his chair until she spoke up.
"Hey there goat boy!"
Dumbledore jumped and looked up, only to blink in surprise as he saw the woman sitting in his chair. She certainly wasn't a student and she wasn't a Pureblood either since Dumbledore knew all of them by sight thanks to the small population. She was a beautiful girl who looked like she was in her late teens, with black hair, tied into twin tails and violet eyes. She was rather short, but had a rather impressive bustline that bounced with every movement. She was wearing what Dumbledore recognized as a magical girl outfit from a Muggle cartoon and had a staff leaning against the desk.
"Pardon me, but who are you?" asked Dumbledore, his hand twitching to his wand, "And how did you get in here?"
The girl ignored him.
"You know, this makes for some interesting reading," she said, holding up the notebook she was reading.
Dumbledore's eyes widened as he recognized it as his notebook that held all the schemes he had for Harry and the Wizarding world.
"I'd actually be impressed if your plans weren't targeting Harry-chan."
Dumbledore narrowed his eyes at the mention of Harry. He had to know everything he could about the boy so he could best guide him to his Destiny. For the Greater Good of course. However, he had never once seen this strange girl. He had to know, so he did what he always did when he needed to know something and attempted to read the girls mind. Big mistake. The second his probe entered her mind, the girl grabbed it, shredded it, and shoved it back into Dumbledores head so hard he physically flew back with blood leaking from his mouth.
"Wow, I never thought you'd be dumb enough to actually try that with someone you know nothing about," said the woman, "Guess I overestimated your intelligence."
Dumbledore just groaned as the woman walked over and crouched down next to him.
"Now, I promised Harry-chan I wouldn't kill you, but you've hurt him a lot, even more than that bat Snipe or whatever his name is. As such, you definitely deserve some punishment and I have just the thing."
The woman gave an evil smile as a pair of black wings appeared on her back and a blue magic circle appeared under the old man.
Serafall Leviathan hummed happily to herself as she skipped through the halls of her Underworld home. Today had been extremely productive for the Satan. Not only had she managed to acquire the most adorable and powerful Bishop for her Peerage (using up two pieces, even with her incredible power as a Satan) after spending the past three years trying to talk him into joining her after the first time he had summoned her following the fight with the Basilisk, but she had also had fun punishing those who had hurt her boyfriend.
Yep, somehow Harry Potter had managed to charm one of the most powerful beings on the face of the Earth. He had first summoned Serafall in the Chamber under the school after Riddle had released the Basilisk. After freezing the oversized grass snake solid, the Satan had been greatly impressed by the fact he had enough will and power to summon her and the two had made a Magician's pact. Since then, Serafall had been Harrys best friend and, more recently, his girlfriend after he accidentally revealed the crush he had on her while moping over the fact he couldn't take her to the Ball.
Anyway, after the end of the year, Serafall had arrived in his room to find her beau a total mess. Due to her demanding job and the recently established treaty between the Three Factions, the couple had not been able to spend much time together. However, when she arrived to find him in tears, it hadn't taken long to coax the full story out of him. After that, it hadnt taken much to convince Harry to let Serafall turn him into a Devil and leave the Wizarding World for good, after Serafall had done some 'house cleaning' at least. The only thing Harry had asked is that she not kill anyone.
Despite that limitation, it hadn't taken long for the Devil Queen to take down Voldemort and the Death Eaters by teleporting into the middle of a meeting and freezing everyone in the room solid, before dropping the resulting iceberg into the Ministry's fountain. After that, she had moved down the list, first dealing with the thick headed traitor known as Ron Weasley by handing him over to Mil-tan and his buddies, cursing Ginny with permanent acne and using Molly's dreams to turn her into a raging psychopath. After that, her targets were Snape and Dumbledore, the ones responsible for the most of her Harry's suffering. There punishment was much more permanent than the others and that's saying something.
"Hey Honey, I'm hoome!" she chirped as she entered the living room where Harry was practicing his magic.
The green eyed Wizard-turned-Devil looked up at her and smiled, before a look of confusion crossed his face.
"Hi Sera, what have you got there?" he asked.
"Oh, these?" said Serafall, holding up the items she was carrying under her arms, "These are…"
"PUT ME DOWN YOU BITCH DOOD!" yelled one of the items, making Harry jump.
And for good reason. They looked a lot like stuffed animals, specifically penguins with small bat wings, peg legs and a pouch around their stomachs.
"What the...they're alive?" asked Harry as Serafall dropkicked the mouthy one across the room.
"Yep," said the Devil Queen.
"Harry, thank goodness you're alright dood," said the other, "But what are you doing here? Come, we should return you home. I'm sure your relatives are worried about you."
Harry blinked.
"Wait, is that…?"
Serafall nodded.
"Yep, Dumby himself," she said, "Although I call him Goatface now."
"Then the other is…"
"POTTER DOOD!" roared the other one as it spotted Harry and tried to jump at him, only to fail and faceplant with a squeaking sound.
"The greasy bat? Yep again."
Harry stared at Serafall for a moment, before a slow smile crossed his face.
"Have I told you lately how much I love you?" he said.
"Yep, but I never tire of hearing it," said Serafall with a smile as she skipped across the room and pulled Harry into a searing kiss.
And done. So, what do you think of the first entry? I considered using Ophis, but she'd probably just whip Hogwarts and everyone in it from existence. Eh, I might still use her, just for the amusing idea of Dumbledore trying to guilt trip the Infinity Dragon.
The idea of Serafall turning Snape and Dumbledore into Prinny's came from Quatermasters Fall to Zenith story, so all props to him.
I'll probably do these whenever the mood takes me, so don't expect to many in here. Or I could prove myself wrong and end up writing a ton of these. Either way, could be interesting. Until next time, please review!
