A.N:ok since I'm a dunce and can't figger out how to put this into different chapters I'm just going to put it all in a oneshot with a promise of a sequile...dammit I can't spell. so ya I'm sorry for any bad spelling and/or grammer

Yuki heard the door open and heard Shuichi come in. 'Great now I'll never get this
done before the deadline' Yuki whisperd to himself, thats when he hear a slight sob
comeing from just beond his study door. "Um...Yuki can we talk?" Shuichi said before
opening the study door.

"Not now brat I'm busy"

"But Yuki this is important"

"I said not now...cant you wait 'till after the deadline to bother me?"

Shuichi just put his head down and walkd out of the room closeing the door behind him.
"Goodbye Yuki" Shu said to the door as he walkd to the bedroom to gather his clothes.
Yuki hear the faint sound of Shu leaveing "great now Hiro's going to be on my case
for Shu staying at his place". 'Oh well I'll just have to get him in the morning once he's
calmd down'. Or so he thought but outside Shuichi glanced up at Yuki's study window
as he wisperd ' goodbye'. And with that he made his way to the airport.

Morning came and with it a phone call. "WHO THE HELL WOULD BE CALLING ME THIS
EARLY IN THE MORNING!" Yuki yelld as he got up.

"hello?"

"hey Yuki...have you seen Shu? he havsent shown up for work"

"What are you talking about? Didn't he stay with you last night?"

"No...wait did you kick him out again?"

"No I did not he just left and I asumed he'd be with you"

"...Well if he dose show up by this afternoon tell him to call me"

"Ya ya whatever" And with that Yuki hung up the phone.
'Where the hell could that baka be?'
He got dressd and grabd his keys 'Tohma better know something about this' He
got in his car and drove to N-G.

Scrowling as he waited for the elivator 'who the hell dose he think
he is running off like that' Yuki though to himself. The elivator came and Yuki jabed
his finger on the button for the top floor all the while refusing to belive he was worried
about his little brat.

When he got to the top he burst into Tohma's office with a very distrot secritary
behind him telling him he can't go in there.

"Ahh Eiri what..."

"Where is he"

"I don't know what your talking about"

"You know damn well. Where is Shuichi"

"I honestly don't know Eiri, he hasent shown up for work"

"I know, Hiro calld"

"Well I guess we should go look for him then"

"Fine"

And with that they started what turnd out to be a 4 year search, to no avail.

Sitting in his office Tohma was wondering how long his brother-in-law was going
to look for that pink haird bouncing ball when he turnd on his TV and almost had
a heart attack. There he was, Shuichi, but he lookd different with black hair and eyes
so blue there almost white.He quickly grabd his phone and dialed Yuki's cell.

"hello"

"Eiri I've found him, I've found Shuichi"

"You'd better not be shitting me Tohma"

"No no I'm not come here quick"

"I'll be there in 10 minutes"

Yuki hung up his phone and raced to his car and sped down the streets to N-G Studios
narrowly missing many people and cars an the way. He got
there miracusly without a scratch and raced up to Tohma's office
and burst into the room.

"Where is he...I thought you said you found him" Yuki said looking around the room.
"yes I did ...now sit down Eiri" he turnd and re-playd the episode. Yuki stared in
disbelef as a pissd off gothic kid was being dragd into a cop car by the police and the
headline stated that Mark Anderson lead singer of Blood and Tears hit goth band was
arrested again for driving under the influence of haroin.
"What the fuck dose this have to do with Shuichi?" Yuki ask looking quite angree.
"look closer Eiri...look at his eye you can see his contacts sliping and pink roots of
his hair...its him"
Yuki lookd closer and relized it WAS his Shuichi. He continued to stare and read the
headline again.
"it...it can't be...Shuichi...haroin...no...Tohma please tell me it's a mistake"
"I can't. I'm sorry Eiri but I belive it's true"
"...get me a plain ticket now to where ever he is"
"ok ...but I'm comeing with you"
"Why?"
Tohma just smirks " how do you think your going to get a ticket to his up and coming
consert?"
"ok, ok just get me there"

--

4 days later in Boston Tohma and Yuki are waiting for the consert to start and 'Mark'
is about to be rudely awakend by his fellow bande mate.

"Oi, Mark get your ass out of bed we gots a gig to put on"
"5 more minutes Jay, 5 more fucking minutes"
"Mark don't make me say your Jap name"
The door to the room opend sudenly and a skinny man stood in the doorway
looking as though he was about to kill.
"Don't you ever fucking threaten that Jay I'm in no mood"
"K, just chill. Anyway we've got to go the van's waiting"
"Ya I'll be out in a minute"
And with that he went back into the room and got some clothes off the floor and
put them on."Ok now lets get this over with"They left together nether knowing what
was about to happen.

At the concert

Yuki lookd at the stage as his little lover struted boldly out onto the stage wearing
a fish-net top, a spiked dog choker, pants so tight they lookd like they were pourd onto
his body, and boots with what lookd like belt buckels and straps. His hair was spiked
up in all directions and you could just make out a tiny bit of bright pink at his roots.
Yuki lookd at his in aww. He wasen't that pink ball of fluff that would pounce on him at
any given moment. He lookd...older, he look like...well you could see that without his
stage make-up he would look at least 5 years older.

The music statred up slow and full of sorrow. and thats when Shuichi started to sing
and right then Yuki knew for sure that it was his Shu-chan.

This poison's my intoxication
I broke the needle off in my skin
picked the scabs and picked the bleeding
and assumed that it was all in vain
A positive scab that's never healing
Calloused hit me in the face
A burning bridge that's so misleading
Poison's more potent now with the flame

Let it bleed
Take the red for what it's worth woah
Watch the fire
Fill your lungs with smoke for the last time
If you feel like dying you might wanna sing

The fire department couldn't drown the city
They didn't even try to wash it clean
And what did you think that I was sober?
Put me out cause I'm on fucking fire
A positive scab that's never healing
Regret that I kept this clean
The most that I can do for you is keep on lying
It's not a lie if you can let it sing

Let it bleed
Take the red for what it's worth woah
Watch the fire
Fill your lungs with smoke for the last time
If you feel like dying you might wanna sing!

Ohoh you might wanna sing
Ahaha you might wanna sing
Hahah you might wanna sing
Hahahaha sing!
You might wanna sing!
You might wanna sing!
You might wanna sing or scream at...

This poison's my intoxication
I broke the needle off in my skin
Picked the scabs and picked the bleeding
yeah assumed that it was all in vain

Let it bleed
Take the red for what it's worth, woah
Watch the fire
Baby fill your lungs with smoke for the last time
If you feel like dying
If you feel like dying
If you feel like dying, You might wanna sing
Hahaha You might wanna sing
Haha You might wanna sing
Ha you might wanna sing or scream at...

Yuki listend and coulden't help feeling that it was him who put Shuichi down this path.
He couldent take it anymore, Yuki got up and snuck backstage and waited till the
concert was over and he saw the band walk past were he was crouchd waiting till
Shuichi came level with him. Yuki grabd Shu and realized that that was a mistake.
Shu grabd his attacker swung them around, and pind them against the wall with their
arm behind their back.

" Who the fuck are you and what do you want from me" Shuichi hissd in Yuki's ear.

"Shu it's me" Yuki said slightly surprized at how his little Shu-chan was able to get in
him in this position.

"Y...Yuki?"

"yes Shu it's me now let me go"

Shuichi let got quite surprized at who was standing in front of him.

"What are you doing here Yuki?...how did you find me?"

"Shu I'm here 'cuz I've been looking for you for the past 4 years"

"pft... right"Shu roles his eyes. " ok if thats true then tell me how did you find me? I've
been careful, I dyed my hair I wear contacts...I'm a different person from who I was
back then"

"Ya I can tell...drugs Shu drugs , what has gotten into you?"

"You dont know what I've been through over the years I've been gone"

"Then tell me Shu"

"It's Mark now Yuki, please don't call me Shu, Shu-chan, or Shuichi here"

"fine 'Mark' but why?"

" Why? WHY! If my memory serves me right I remember asking that same question
many times and getting yelld at and pushd away"

"Shu..."

"IT'S MARK!"

" Fine Mark I'm sorry ok. I realized that I wasen't a good boyfriend. I realize I was
horible to you but please give me another chance"

The faint sounds of footsteps stopd 'Mark' from answering.

"Mark where did you go? Mark come on we've got to go the van's waiting"

"K, 1 minute Jay baby I'll be there soon I have to finnish something right now"

"Ok"

--

Yuki lookd at Shuichi in shock.

"Jay baby?"

"Ya he's my boyfriend" Shuichi said blushing slightly.

"But what about me...us?"

"Yuki that was 4 years ago"

Yuki got up and saw that 'Jay' was still standing at the door waiting for 'Mark'. Yuki
saw that Jay was and skinny 20 something with blue hair and twidiling a drum stick.

Yuki walkd over to him with Shuichi walking behind him trying to pull him back.

Jay: who is this Mark? Another fan?

Shu: back away baby back away from him

Jay: What are you talking about?

Yuki: I'm going to kill you 'Jay'

Shuichi got in between them.

Shu: stop this Yuki

Jay: oh...so this is that basterd

Yuki: who are you calling 'basterd'

Jay: you are Yuki Eiri that one who broke my hon's heart, right?

Yuki: he's not yours he's mine

Yuki pushs Shu out of the way and he fell to the ground watching the 2 people he loves
start to fight. Yuki hit Jay with a good punch to the jaw and Jay retaliated and it turnd
into an all out brawl that left them both brused and bloody. Neather of then noticed
that Shuichi was in the corner rocking back and forth crying.

Yuki was the first to recover and saw Shu and went over to hold him in his arms. Shu
aloud himself to be held.

Jay: Mark get out of his arms. I'm here, I can comfort you

Yuki: Can you just shut up for once. I remember the last time I had to hold him like this

Shu: don't Yuki. Nobody here knows about that... nobody here knows what happend
that day

Jay: what happend baby come on you can tell me

Shu: no, if theres one thing I can't tell you about my past it's that

Yuki: shh shh shh it's ok Shu-chan I'll never let anything like that happen ever again

Shuichi pulld away from Yuki and glared at him.

Shu: You may say that but it already has...twice since I've been here

Yuki held Shu closer and pat his head.

Yuki: I'm so sorry Shu ... I never should have let you walk out that door

Shu: ...do you remember why I left?

Yuki: you wanted to ask me something and I told you I was busy and for you to leave
me alone

Shu: Ya you always ignord me and calld me brat

Jay: Don't worry Mark you have me and I won't ignore you like he did

Shu: Jay could you just stay out of this? In fact just go on without me. I need to talk to
Yuki...alone

Jay: you sure ...ok see you later

Jay left looking as though his heart was being crushd. Yuki lookd at Shuichi with the
most loveing look even though he knew that Shu wasen't HIS lover anymore.

" Shu... tell me... do you love him like you loved me?"

" Yuki you know as much as I do that thats imposible" Shu put his hand on Yuki cheek.

Yuki's heart lept at thoughs words and the flame of hope grew a little.

" You mean that Shu"

"Of course Yuki I have always loved you"

Yuki pulld Shu closer and kissd him with more passion that he ever had or have ever
even writen about in his books. Shu was shockd at first but then returnd the kiss then
broke away and lookd at Yuki.

" Were you really searching for me all these years"

" Yes Shu I was and now that I've found you I'm not going to let some punk take you
away from me"

" Yuki don't hurt him, he was there for me when I was going through a depression...
now come, lets go to my apartment so we can talk more"

Yuki lookd around the apartment trying to keep the look of discust off his face. It was
dirty, small, there was no furniture but a table and on the table were the tools that
Shu had oveusly used to get high.

" I know it's small but...SHIT" Shu spoted Yuki looking at the table and went and cleand
it up.

" So it was true"

" What was true?"

" News report that you were arrested for driving under the influence"

" ...I'm sorry Yuki. I've tryd getting off but...I can't...I just can't"

" Don't worry Shu-chan I'm here now and I will help you get off"

"But..."
Shu was cut off by Yuki's lips on his in another breath takeing kiss. Shu kissd back
deepining the kiss. Yuki directed them to the floor mat that Shu had been useing as a
bed and flopd them down on it and alowd his hands to explore every inch of Shu's
chest, takeing off Shu's top he started to nip at his neck. Shu moand in the extisy of it
and dug his black nails into Yuki's back and moan for more.

Yuki loved the sound of Shu's moans and slowly removed Shu's pant to see that there
was nothing underneth. Shu coulden't take it anymore. He roled over so he was on
top and ripd off Yuki's clothes and kissd and bit every bit of skin he could find moveing
down to give Yuki the most amaizing blow job ever. Yuki not used to Shuichi takeing
controle moand loudly weaving his fingers through Shu's hair shoveing himself deeper
into the singers throught. Shuichi stopd just before Yuki came and climbed onto him
positioning himself over Yuki and slid into him slowly at first but then pickd up his
pace. Yuki was surprized that Shu was takeing such controle even to the piont of
fucking him instead of the other way around but he loved it and moand even louder.

After a few rounds of takeing turns they fell asleep in each others arms unknowing to
the fact that someone had walkd in to see them sleeping together.

--

"MARK HOW COULD YOU" The voice rang throug the tiny apartment and jerkd the
sleeping lovers awake.
Shu: shit. Jay what are you doing here?
Jay: WHAT AM I DOING HERE?! Mark whats going on...whats this?
He said jesturing to Yuki and the tangle of sheets.
Yuki: KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN IT'S HURTING MY HEAD
Jay: I'm gonna kill you you fucking basterd
Jay jumpd on Yuki and started wayling on him and from his position Yuki could only
fend off the relentless attacks while hearing Shuichi was screaming for Jay to stop.
"Jay get off him GET OFF HIM"
Jay hit Shuichi with a back hand that sent him flying into the wall knocking him
unconsious.
Yuki: you fucking basterd
Yuki rold over and beat Jay to an inch of his life and went over to Shuichi.
"Shu are you ok...Shu wake up"
"hmm ... Yuki?"
"yes it's me are you ok"
Hissing at the pain in his head he nodded "Ya I think I'm gonna be ok"
Looking over at Jay Shu gaspd.
"Yuki what did you do to him?!"
" He hit you ... He shoulden't have hit you"
" We need to get him to a hospital"

1 Week later

Jay woke up in the hospital confused. 'How did I get here?' he said to himself. He lookd
over to the table next to him and saw get well cards and an envolope with Shuichi's
untidy scawl on it. He pickd it up and read the one thing that had been haunting since
Mark told him who he really was and what he left behind in Japan.

Dear Jay;

I know you probibly hate me for what I did. And I'm not going to ask for your
forgiveness cuz I know I can't be forgiven. I just want you to know I'm sorry but I'm
giving Yuki a second chance... I'm sorry I know this hurts but as you remember when
we met I told you that I was still in love with my ex . And I have been this whole time
we've been together...Yes I loved you, you were there for me when I needed you, but
I can't play the game of being with you when you know my heart is elsewere, it would
only hurt us both even more.

I'm going back to Japan and to my family...I think their pretty mad at me for
dissepearing for 4 yrs without even a note. But I have to make it up to them...you can
e-mail me anytime and we can still be friends (I hope)

-Shuichi Shindo

Reading the letter Jay began to cry and get angree. 'I am going to kill Eiri Yuki if it's the
last thing I do' he vowd to himself.

A/N: so plz read and review...and I don't want anymore flames about how I don't have any talent and that I suck at writing