SUMMERY - This is my first fic! Yay! Not sure where I'm going with it, but I guess I'll soon find out. Yaoi pairing, SeiferXSquall. It seems to have started out a bit angsty, but too find out more I guess your just going to have to read it.

DISCLAIMER - Squaresoft own Final Fantasy VIII. I just borrowed them.

---

It was raining, that day so many years ago. Not a heavy down pour but a light mist of rain. A mist which was causing beads of water to form in his hair, to slowly run down his face. Rain that could easily be confused as tears, as it slowly yet surely ran over his cheeks.

Indeed he almost felt like crying as he watched the train pull away. Yet what he was feeling could not be described as true sorrow for the person leaving after being back in his life for only so short a time. Instead his emotions were as confused as the weather.

Not real rain but only a light mist. Not real anguish but only a vague sense of something not being right. If asked to identify what he was feeling he couldn't. Emotions are rarely as easily identifiable as the weather.

Seifer had returned not long after the war had ended. The same as ever yet infinatly different. With this difference in character also brought a difference in their relationship, yet it remained as it always had. If asked what the difference was, again he couldn't have possibly have said.

Of course Seifer wasn't the only person changed by the war. Squall had changed as well, as the ice at the core of his heart, the ice that had formed as a way to protect him, melted. He had lost too many people already in his young life, some he couldn't even remember. If he turned his heart to ice so no one could enter, well then they couldn't leave.

In this respect he had been successful, made even easier due to the effects of the Guardian Forces. Not only would he not let anyone in, but the darling little monsters in his head made him forget the people who had left him already.

But the war, with its revelations of a past forgotten started to melt the ice. It melted it enough so that when Seifer returned, there was no barrier to stop him entering Squall's heart.

Of course the two didn't become friends the instant that Seifer walked back into Garden, all swagger and confidene. A confidence that didn't quite reach his eyes. If the world is a stage and everyone was looking, well Seifer fully intended to give everyone a show. It was expected.

The softening of Squall's heart however caused the change in the relationship between the two. It was still a stormy relationship but one with more mutual respect, Seifer recognising Squall's power and Squall recognising Seifer's need for attention from the shorter brunette.

After all had that not been what all Seifer's bluster and anamosity had been about before the war? A desire for, and a resentment towards to brunette because he wouldn't let him in, wouldn't reciprocate the feelings Seifer had for him. Feelings of belonging, a need to have his presence acknowledged, and a love for him. A love that wasn't an entirely fraternal love.

As the two became closer following Seifer's return and Cid allowed him to begin his studies to become a SeeD once again, the same feelings began to arise in Squall. A desire to have the tall blond around that went beyond mere friendship.

There was an obstacle in the way however, An obstacle that would stop the feelings ever being more than being a nagging in the back of Squall's mind and allow him to fully realise what he desired. The obstacle being a certain raven haired Sorcerress.

The existence of said sorceress and the bond between Squall and her were the reason that he stood watching the train leave Balamb station. For whilst Rinoa was still in his life Squall would never be able to realise what he truly felt for Seifer.

As this became apparent to Seifer, and his studies became increasingly difficult due to the anamosity he was subject to because of his role in the war, he decided just to leave. The old Seifer would have stayed and fought for what he wanted. The new Seifer couldn't stand the pain of having something he wanted so badly, held up before him when he knew he would probably never get it.

This is why Squall stood in the mist that day at Balamb station, watching his newly rediscovered friend leave again, to where, who knew. Even all these years later Squall could not understand why he felt that way. The feeling of something not being right.

Nor did he know why he still felt that way. Maybe someday soon it would all become clear.

---

AUTHORS NOTE - Well there it was. What did you think? Please R&R and be as brutal as you think necessary. Any kind of attention will probably get more writing, so if thats what you want I think you know what you've got to do!

SpeedingTiegan x