A/N: BOW BEFORE MY MIGHTY AWESOMENESS!… (Coughcough) Oh, er, hello there! Well, as you all well know by now, unless you're brand new to Fanfiction, no one here owns anything but originality and plots… and sometimes, they don't even own that, those dirty PLAGERISTS!

…But I digress.

This is a Harry Potter and Naruto Fanfiction. I own nothing but creative rights to whatever I make these brilliant characters do against their will (and sometimes with consent). I make no money, gain no accolades, and the only recognition I receive for my gift to the world is through you, my beautiful Readers.

I was inspired to work on this instead of tossing it into The PlotBunny Dead Zone, by the Naruto Fanfiction Better Left Unsaid, whose author is a genius of such a caliber that I bow before his mighty pen. GO Kenchi618! After reading such a beautiful peace of work (and promptly leaving a Review asking for more or else I'd Spam the other 32 chapters with the EXACT same Review), I continued on to another of his brilliant pieces, The Sealed Kunai. I seriously suggest you go read these, even if you are NOT serious Naruto fans. They're fun and awesomely done…

But, again, I digress…

What I was trying to get to the point of, though, is that, for this story, I am setting a firm boundary. Usually, I make sure my chapters reach at least around 3,000 words. This story, though, inspired as it was, is going to be different. Each chapter MUST contain a MINIMUM of 10,000 words or higher, NOT INCLUDING THE A/N's!

Now, I hope everyone is doing epically, and if anyone has any prompts for the PBDZ, please send me a message. If it's something I have knowledge of, I'll try to write you up a bit.

BE FOREWARNED THOUGH!

As I've set such a high standard for this fic, I will be focusing on it, my school work, and actually finishing The Sealed Kunai. I wil NOT be working on other fics for a while, or, if I do, it will be a long time to wait. I'm sorry for those who were eagerly awaiting the next chapters on certain fics (and those who continuously bombard me with PM's on the issue of Updates) but I really HATE it when I lose focus on a story due to my wandering attention span, so I wish to work on this as far as I can, alright?

Thank you for understanding.

Flamers, go fuck your mothers.

PMer's…PLEASE don't send me more "Please Update Soon!" or "When are you going to Update (Insert fic title)?" Mail. I'm getting back-logged (And YES, it's SERIOUSLY getting to that point)

Reviewers… You're all just generally awesome (Even the ones who just say "Neat." And leave it at that)

Readers who Don't Review…I hope you've enjoyed yourselves. I can't tell.

R&R!

MINIMUM NUMBER OF WORDS :

10,000

NUMBER OF WORDS – A/N:

10,665

Jinchuuriki

Prologue

"Cry havoc! And let loose the dogs of war..."- William Shakespeare, Caesar.

0.0

Funny how life is always changing. One moment, you understand your place in the world; the next, you're in a whole new ballgame, staring into the Abyss. And the only thing you can comprehend, in that infinitesimal moment as darkness surrounds you and no hope is cradled in your soul?

Who the fuck did I manage to piss off in another life?

…Or maybe that's just me…

My name is Harry James Potter, but that all depends on whom you ask. The Boy-Who-Lived, the Chosen One, the Gryffindor Golden Boy, Dumbledore's Boy, the Light's Champion, He-Who-Defeated-The-Dark-Lord, He-Who-Would-Not-Die. I'm sure there are more, as I've discovered in these last ten years that I am not a person in the eyes of the Wizarding World, my world, but merely an idol. Something you can polish up when you need it to look bright and shiny and brilliant.

Fucking arse-holes.

They made me their perfect weapon, you know. I killed my first man at eleven. I killed a monster, saved a young girl, and freed a mistreated slave at twelve. At thirteen, I fought off a pissed-off werewolf, uncovered a conspiracy, saved an innocent man from a fate worse then death, traveled back in time, and performed a spell nearly four times more advanced than I should have known, and to such a degree that it would have made the hardiest of soldiers gape.

At fourteen I was entered, against my will, into a tournament of which survival was unlikely. I battled a Dragon, swam with Merpeople and water-demons, fought my way through a dangerous maze, solved a Sphinx's riddle, and saved another student, only to be teleported to a graveyard. There, I saw that same student murdered, and my blood was used to bring a megalomaniac, the one who'd murdered my parents, back from the dead. I was tortured, forced to bow to that man, and we dueled. I escaped, with my dead friend's body, only to be betrayed by a professor who I'd thought I could trust, who was really working for the enemy.

At fifteen I was told I was insane. I was abandoned by the world that had, in previous years, catered to my every whim. I had constant nightmares, horrendous headaches, and visions that confused and rattled me on a primal level. I taught a secret organization of students in defense when our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was nothing more then a vicious, disgusting (pink) toad from the Ministry. I was forced (by the pink teacher) to carve I Shall Not Tell Lies into my own flesh; to write it with my own blood. I was tricked into chasing a prophesy by the megalomaniac from before, and in falling for his trick (shown through visions), I lead the charge to my Godfathers death. I watched him die; I attempted to torture his murderer. I was possessed by a man so foul, that my soul screamed in agony, as his own black soul did, just at his touch.

At sixteen, I was fraught with paranoia about my fellow classmates. Especially one in particular, who turned out to be nothing more then a terrified child, forced into a war he wasn't ready for. I watched my mentor, my Master, a man I loved as a grandfather, die a horrible, humiliating death at the hands of a man he had trusted.

At seventeen, my megalomaniatic enemy hunted me, even as I hunted the fragments of his black soul he'd hidden around England. Friends died, enemies died. Trust was found, shattered, mauled beyond recognition, and healed to near completion. And still, people died. I faced off with my enemy, and died, but rose back up only to kill him. The war was over. I was no longer needed, in that field, at least.

From the age of eighteen to now, I began to train, mercilessly. I became a trained assassin, a nightmare for the remaining Death Eaters, and any who broke the law. I was the Boogey Man, the Monster, the Hunter. I killed hundreds of men and women alike, all dangerous, all murderers or rapists. Never an innocent, never intentionally. But I could not stand in the limelight for the Wizarding World any more. I couldn't uphold their expectations of me.

My duty was done. I was no longer needed by my people, who celebrated and sang my praises and simpered to get into my good graces, where not two years before they would have tossed me into the rubbish heap as nothing more then a worthless scrap. They disgusted me but, when they called upon me again now, at the age of twenty-one, I agreed to help.

I have a saving-people thing, alright?

Sighing, I turned my glowing, Killing-Curse-Green eyes up, peering through my black as pitch hair. The massive Wolf Demon was destroying everything in sight, its purple fur sparking with electricity and malice. It's ten tails lashed, leaving behind nothing but death and destruction. Its three neon-blue eyes were filled with a horrendous glee as it wreaked havoc upon the Wizarding town of Gallows Veil, a small town just outside of Dublin.

"Tell me again how this happened, exactly?" I drawled, tugging my black dragon-hide gloves on as my long-time friend, Neville Longbottom, the recently promoted Minister of Magic (as the previous had ended up getting crushed under the weight of the demon early on in its attack), scowled darkly, his single eye glowering up at the monstrous Wolf.

"Some damned imbecile of a Summoner decided to try his hand at the Forbidden Arts, as is the hobby of most idiots who deem themselves 'all-powerful'," my friend made air-quotes with his fingers, and I hummed in my throat, amused. "He was the first to die, though," Neville added, flashing a surprisingly handsome grin at Luna, his wife of the last three years. She smiled back the same old dreamy not-all-there smile that she used to back in our Hogwarts Days. I smiled.

No one would dare steal the shoes of the Head Auror, like they used to when she was younger. The Seer had grown into a beautiful, merciless fighter, after all. I know for a fact she's immensely deadly.

After all, I'd trained her myself.

"The pup will go to sleep inside a babe," she told me dreamily, smiling a suddenly grim and totally serious smile. I blinked, and frowned. "The babe and pup shall grow together, and the babe shall begin as a man and grow into a different man but never the same, always the same, but different yet not. Like a can of Alphabet soup, you'll never know what you can spell…" She hummed and twisted away, loping gracefully down the hill to her team of specially-trained Aurors and Unspeakables, her platinum blonde hair streaking behind her as they moved in to help the fleeing civilians. I scowled, mind swiftly but carefully unraveling the delightfully twisty talk of my dear friend.

A conclusion rose tentatively from a file in the back of my mind, and I smiled grimly. Neville gave me a sharp look, the black eye-patch making the larger man and plant-enthusiast look slightly more intimidating then he'd ever looked before, especially when you remembered the terrified, shy little boy he'd once been, with his escape-artist toad, Trevor… And his horrible broom-riding skills...

"You've thought of something," he said calmly, bringing me from my nostalgia. I nodded simply, looking up at him, biting back a moment of irritation at his height of six-foot-three, towering over my pathetic five-foot-five. StupidfuckingDursley's, I thought with familiar irritation, easily ignored.

"You remember when I went on that mission in Japan?" I asked; he blinked, confused.

"The one where you killed that serial killed, Josiah Flem? The one who chopped up little girls and fed them to his Carnivorous Carnation which he believed was his own, personal God?" I sneered darkly, remembering that pathetic piece of trash. I'd fed him to his precious plant, too…

While he was still screaming.

"Yep, that's the one," I said cheerfully as screams continued to rise while the Wolf Demon trashed the town. "See, I learned this ancient kind of ritual there, from some old hermit who claimed to be a shinobi." At Neville's blank look, I rolled my eyes. "A Ninja, Nev, a ninja. Anyways, he taught me these things called Seals. Well, actually, he told me about this, as there are a bunch of different ways to use Seals, but this one was special. It was meant to seal a Demon, like ol' Puppy-Boy down there," I gestured vaguely at the purple Wolf, "well, to seal him into a human body, a vessel. They were called jin-something-or-others, I don't remember, but anyways. In order to do this, someone must bargain with a Shinigami, a Death God, and sacrifice himself or herself in order to seal the Demon. Catch, though, 'cause there's always a bloody, buggering catch." I smiled grimly.

"The vessel must be a newborn baby, umbilical cord freshly cut." Neville sucked in a sharp breath, suddenly pale.

"Harry, you're not going to-" I gave him an insulted look, scowling, and he had the decency to look ashamed for even thinkingI would do something so cruel.

"I have a plan, though," I told him, as if he hadn't just started to accuse me of infanticide-via-evil-demon. "I might not survive, or, if I do, I won't be around for a long time, alright?" Reluctantly, Neville nodded, and I gave him a small smile and a wink. "Give that gorgeous baby girl of yours a kiss from Uncle Harry, m'kay?" He nodded, and bowed his head, and, smiling, I Apparate'd away, landing on a hill in front of the Demon. It's neon-blue eyes locked on me disinterestedly and he happily continued his pillaging.

I huffed, feeling oddly insulted, and scowled up at him.

"Oi! Puff-ball!" I bellowed in Japanese; those eyes snapped over to me and he paused, said eyes narrowing slowly. I was glad to see that I'd gotten its origin right, though. Definitely from the Hidden Countries. We don't havegiant-mutant-animal-demons running amok unless we steal them from someone else, thank-you-very-much! "You look like a demented poodle! Your mother was a Chihuahua and your father was a transvestite named Steve!" The demon began growling and stalking towards me, unheeding of the trees crashing in his path as I grinned furiously, heart pounding and magic curling around me in eager anticipation.

"You have a small brain and a smaller dick!" I yowled up at him, cackling as he snarled, looming over me, his ten tails stiff and arched in a dominants pose, fury making electricity sparkle dazzlingly around his massive form. His power beat down on me, crackling like static against my skin and magic, and made my tongue tingle like I'd just eaten a mouthful of Pop-Rocks or something… It was kind of neat, actually!

"DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH, MORTAL?" he roared; I winced and made a point of wriggling a finger into my ear.

"Aw, don't get your tails in a knot, Fluff-the-Magic-Dumbass," I called, snorting in amusement. "I gotta have a word with you, and you're being a bloody pillock, so I had to get your attention some way." The Wolf snarled, eyes narrowing into vicious slits as I grinned impishly.

I do believe insanity runs in my family, in case you were wondering… I blame the schools… Or maybe it was the death-threats growing up…

Naw. Definitely the schools.

"What is it you want, human?" Mr. Mac-Poofy-Fur growled lowly, body trembling in rage. I was rather impressed; he was holding his temper very well for a Demon!

"Oh, I just wondered…" I turned, and lifted my right hand, fingers curving slightly, acid-green magic, visible for once, curling ominously around my limb. "If you knew a dear friend of mine." He frowned, suddenly confused and, my smile turning grim, I racked my fingers down. With a loud tearing sound, like wet cloth, a rift appeared next to me, widening until it towered over me, seven feet tall.

Immediately, a black form appeared in the whirling gray on the other side of the rift, and stepped out onto the land, the grass touching its sandaled feet dying and withering to blackened husks. Black, Japanese-style clothes swirled around its seven-foot-tall frame in a way that reminded me vaguely of Snape's bat-like robe-affect. White flowers edged its black robe, the inside a blood-colored red that looked like crushed velvet. A curved, hand-held sickle flashed in its hand, the blade gleaming purple and red in the light, radiating an ominous miasma of bloodlust. No skin showed anywhere, and its face was covered in a black mask with red designs, the face of a twisted, howling agony staring emotionlessly down at me as I bounced on my feet with my extra energy, fidgeting impatiently.

"I wondered when you'd call upon me, Chibi," a voice whispered, too loud and yet too quiet from beneath that mask. It had no masculinity or femininity in it. Only a harsh, whispering emptiness, filled with screams and horror and sighs of peace. I paused in my bouncing, and blinked.

"…Was that a jab at my short stature, Shinigami-sama?" I asked, cocking my head to the side, then shrugged, smiling. "Anywho, Shinigami-sama, meet Sir Fluffy-Poodle. Poodle-Puff, meet Shinigami-sama," I grinned darkly. "We're old buddies, yes?" The Death God tilted his head slightly to me, and turned to eye the Wolf Demon, who had started to back away but froze, paralyzed, in the Shinigami's stare.

"What is it you want of me, Chibi?" Shinigami-sama finally whispered; I stilled, bowing my head, and turned swiftly, dropping to one knee.

"Shinigami-sama," I intoned seriously, eyes lifting to lock onto the side of his head, his gaze still focused on the Wolf Demon. "I, Harry James Potter, Holder of the Hallows, the so-called Shinigami-Chibi" I didn't twitch at that, you know! "Do hereby ask to become the Jinchuuriki of the Ten-Tailed Wolf Demon, Juu no Ookami. As a sacrifice, I give up my life as a Wizard, and surrender to the whims of Lady Fate and yourself, to decide where I shall reside thereof." I bowed my head and stared intently at my knee, holding my breath in the hopes it would be enough.

"…Done," Shinigami-sama intoned after only a small pause. His hand shot forward, sickle pointed at the demon, and a low, reverberating sound, like a gong, rolled through the air. Juu, AKA Puffy-Mac-Flufferton (and yes, I'm having fun mixing his names around) howled, an agonized, terrified sound, and began to glow a bright blue, the color of his eyes. As the glow intensified, he began to shrink, and shrink, and shrink, until all that was left was a glowing blue sphere, no bigger then an apple. It floated swiftly up the hill and into Shinigami-sama's free hand, and the Death God turned to stare at my kneeling form, head tilted slowly to the side.

"I have some conditions of my own, Chibi," he said in his slow, painful-sounding way. I bowed my head lower and waited, lips thin. "Your magic shall remain with you, though you shall have to learn to use your Chakra as well, where you'll be going. I understand some pitiful Ningen near my realm has taught you some basics, yes?" I nodded carefully.

"Hai, Shinigami-sama." He nodded as well.

"Another condition," he whispered/screamed with his disturbing voice. "This demon's soul will be irrevocably tied to your own. You shall live as long as he could, un-aging past, say, twenty-five. The only way you shall ever enter my realm, Chibi, is if Idecide that you are no longer needed as my servant in this realm. And, when you are finally allowed to leave this pathetic place, your soul, and now this demons, will forever be in my service. You will find no peaceful place where your family lies awaiting you. You will become, instead, one of my kind. A Shinigami." His attention was an agony of a special kind, his words another, as his depthless eyes locked on my suddenly shivering form. "Do you understand, Chibi?" I swallowed, mouth suddenly dry, and stared blankly at my hands. An eternity, tied forever to a demon that probably hated my very existence at this moment. I would never get to rest with my parents, or Sirius, or Remus, or anybody I came to love and cherish…

But is that not a better price then more innocents dying through some idiot's folly?

"I accept, Shinigami-sama," I said quietly, closing my eyes. I felt one of his hands land on my head, caressing, and withheld a shudder at the near Dementor-like feeling it gave me, clammy and cold and lacking all small signals of life.

"Very good, Chibi," he said in his disturbing way. "I must de-age you, little one, and transfer your newfriendinto your body. Changes will occur, but your memories will remain in tact.It will be painful." That was all the warning I got, when the hand in my hair pressed lightly, and sudden, abrupt agony, worse then any Crucio, wrenched through my very soul. I screamed until my throat was raw and no more sound came out, and then I screamed in silence, unable to even black out as my body shifted and molded, like clay.

It seemed like hours before the pain stopped, as abruptly as it began, but it was more likely just a couple of minutes. I whimpered, shuddering, and slowly, weakly, blinked my eyes open… Everything looks freaking huge when you're tiny, did you know that? And babies see in black-and-white! No color, at all, anywhere! Blinking, I watched as the utterly massive form of Shinigami-sama knelt and scooped my tiny form up.

"Here is your wish, Chibi," the Death God said, and I whimpered again as his strange voice hurt my ears. He held up his other hand, in which the now white/pale gray-looking ball that was Juu-the-Demented-Poodle. Carefully, he pressed it against my chest, and I jerked, small body spasming viciously as strange, tingly feelings rolled through me. I gurgled, then looked down as best as I could (babies, ESPECIALLY newborns, have very little control over their muscles…). Black swirls, like flames, curled in a strange pattern on my chest, just above my heart, and ten Japanese symbols shown through in seemingly random intervals.

"Done," Shinigami-Sama whispered, and turned with me cradled to his chest, and stepped into the gray of the Rift. "This will feel strange." And let me tell you, he wasn't fucking kidding. It felt like I'd just been dunked into freaking Jello or something! All slimy and thick and cool-but-not-cold, with a strange fruity taste… And then, with that wet-cloth-tearing sound, we were back in the real world, and, had I not been a newborn baby, I probably would have sighed with relief or something.

0.1

"This is the outskirts of the shinobi Hidden Village of Konohagakure," Shinigami-sama told me as sunlight warmed my bare skin. Oh great. I'm nakedDid not notice that before"It is also called Konoha. The Village Hidden in the Leaves. I have twisted things a bit, with Fate-sama's approval and assistance, to make your future stay here slightly more welcoming then it otherwise would have been, Chibi." He looked down at me with his mask, and I struggled not to yawn, feeling strangely comfortable in the crook of his too-big arm. "Here you shall find a woman who shall be a blood-relative. There is also another Jinchuuriki here, only a few years older then you yourself, now. He shall be an interesting companion for you later, I believe." Carefully, Shinigami-sama laid me on a thick patch of unkilled grass near his feet, and then pulled a black leather cord holding a small black symbol on it from inside his…well, I want to say uniform, so let's just go with that. I recognized the symbol well, as it wasthe sign for the Deathly Hallows. The triangle with a circle in it, vertically bisected by a line…

Hey! For a second there, I sounded kind of like Hermione…

"If you should require my assistance, you may call upon me, Chibi," he said calmly. "Here, my name is Jashin, and I am Lord of Slaughter, and a God of Death. Remember that, and beware, for my disciples are sometimes overzealous when seeking to please me." Shinigami-sama, now known as Jashin-sama, straightened and stepped back into the rift. "I shall be watching, Chibi…" and with that, rather disturbingly stalkerish, bit of warning, he disappeared. And I wondered: what do Shinigami really do in their free time, if fucking with my life is such entertainment? I mean, I'm a freaking baby, an immortal baby he left outside a ninja village, alone, and defenseless…

I lay silently for a few minutes, thinking about that, before thinking 'what the hell' and taking a deep breath before wailing my displeasure up to the sky. Now, don't get me wrong, I adore babies, but sometimes the most annoying sound in the world is listening to them cry. It was just bound to get me attention fast, and it did, in the form of two black-clad people seemingly freaking appearing out of a couple of leaves, wearing animal masks that I couldn't quite understand in my infantile state.

"It's a baby…" One said slowly, in a deep male voice. The other nodded, and I continued wailing, wondering when in Merlin's name one of them would just bloody well pickmeup! They moved cautiously towards me, scouted around for a moment, and then the one who'd yet to speak (who's mask I now saw was that of a bear) carefully picked me up in his (he felt like a him, unless there were female-versions of Crabbe and Goyle here… #Shudders#) large hands and cradled me to his chest.

"Lets' take him to the Hokage," the more talkative male said; Bear nodded, and in a swirl of leaves and a strange tingly feeling, we were off! I hiccupped, and warbled and whined like the baby I was, and I wondered when I'd see in color again… Unless it wasn't because I was a baby, but because of Fuzzbutt. Oh, I would be sooooo pissed if that damned Wolf Demon made me color-blind!

"Hokage-sama," the masked men said in unison, before kneeling. I sniffled, and wished my infant-self had some proper mobility, so that I could see the one they were talking about. From my time spent in Japan with the supposed Shinobi, I knew that a Hokage was basically an "Epic Ninja" as I called them, and I really wanted to see one.

"What can I do for you two?" an old mans voice asked calmly; Bear straightened and stepped forward, shifted me, and set me on what felt like a desk.

"We found this infant abandoned outside the perimeters of Konoha, sir," the more talkative of the two said respectfully. "We brought him straight here once we made sure he was not a part of some trap or bait." I blinked up at the old man who peered down at me with serious eyes, and the only thing I could think?

Holy, fucking hell, I want that hat!

"Send for a medic-nin," he ordered my 'rescuers simply, picking me up gently in warm, strong hands.

"Hai, Hokage-sama," my rescuers said, and once more disappeared in a swirl of leaves. The old man sat in his chair, chewing on the stem of his pipe and staring down at me, while I yawned and blinked tiredly up at him.

"Spiky purple hair," he murmured, "pupiless eyes. If they were brown instead of green, I'd have sworn you were a male Mitarashi Anko…" I stared up at him blankly, confused. What the fuck does he mean, purple hair and no pupils?

"Hokage-sama, you called for a medic-nin?" a man entered the room and paused as the Hokage gestured to me.

"Two of my ANBU found him abandoned in the forest, and I want you to give him a check-up, as well as a blood-test," he ordered; the man nodded immediately, stepped forward, and lifted glowing hands to run over my body. I wiggled, whimpering, as his hands and Chakra passed over my chest, making Juu's Seal flare up. I whimpered, and began to cry, at the two men's sharp breaths, their bodies tensing.

"A Jinchuuriki…?" The medic-nin breathed, staring down at the mark; the Hokage stared grimly as well, and I quieted, sniffling.

"Continue the exam," he said calmly, eyes sharp on the medic-nin, "and I trust you'll speak not a word of this to anyone, Nekotayu-san?" he said, with emphasis. The medic-nin, Nekotayu, grimaced, but nodded solemnly.

"Hai, Hokage-sama," he said quietly, and finished the diagnostic. After that, he pulled an empty syringe from his pocket, and swiftly drew blood from my arm, making me yowl, before he healed the mark and left, saying he'd be back in an hour or two at most with the results. The Hokage called in his secretary, who cooed at me, scooped me up, and carried me out of the room to her little office area, where she found some baby materials waiting on her desk, where and ANBU must have left them… (If I remember right from my chats with my supposed-Shinobi-friend, ANBU were, like, the 'Me' of the ninja-world, right? The assassins and snakes-in-the-grass?) She quickly wrapped me in a diaper and blanket, and popped a bottle in my mouth. I fell asleep suckling on it.

0.2

I found myself locked inside my mindscape (which I'd made up into a replica of the Forbidden Forest a few years back under the training of a Mind-Healer, who helped me heal the damage Snape's horrid training had done…if you could actually call it training instead of torture…), more specifically, I was in a clearing, lying as an infant next to a massive cage that held the purple-form of Juu.

"Disgusting little brat!" the demon snarled at me furiously, blue eyes bright with malice. "You've doomed us both, and now that Shinigami's collar chokes me." I yawned at him and blinked.

'And I should care because?' I thought at him; he snarled. 'Look, you can bitch, bark, and complain all you want, Fluffy. It won't stop the fact that, even if I fully released you, I wouldn't die, and you wouldn't be allowed outside my body without my consent. You're as weak as a kitten as long as I want you that way, so I suggest you not piss me off, and that you wait a few years until I get the hang of this new body before I let you roam around my forest, alright?' Juu snarled, turned his back, and curled all ten of his tails around him tightly. 'Good doggy,' I thought snidely, and faded from the Forbidden Forest to leave him to his sulking in peace.

0.3

I woke again in my infant-body, lying on a small, padded pallet behind the Hokage's desk while he worked on a humongous mound of paperwork. If I could, I would have winced in sympathy. I loathed paperwork with a passion. I heard a door open, and the Hokage looked up, nodding, before glancing down at me. I yawned and blinked up at him curiously, so he reached down and picked me up, so that I could see that his visitor was that Nekotayu fellow from before, holding a scroll. Has it really been an hour or two? I wondered, snuggling as much as I can into the tobacco-scented robes of the Hokage.

"What were his results?" the old man asked; Nekotayu-san opened the scroll and showed him.

"He's is, actually, related to Mitarashi-san through blood in some way, Hokage-sama," he told the man simply, honestly. "A cousin of some sort, according to this. He has some sort of Kekkai Genkai from what looks like his fathers side, the side not related to Mitarashi-san, and another anomaly in his blood that I'm willing to bet is a result from his…er…circumstances," he finished a little lamely, darting his eyes pointedly towards my unmarked chest. The Hokage nodded in understanding, looking thoughtful, and, after otherwise declaring me healthy, dismissed Nekotayu. He paused, then made a small signal.

Instantly, and ANBU appeared, kneeling, next to his desk, head bowed, awaiting his orders.

"Go and get Mitarashi Anko and bring her here immediately," he ordered calmly; the ANBU nodded, and leaf-swirled away, just like the others had. I sooo have to learn how to do that, I thought as I was given a binky to suckle on, which I idly did.

The girl who entered the room next couldn't have been more then fifteen, and wore a fishnet suit with a mini-skirt and an overcoat. Her hair was spiky and done up in a ponytail so that the spikes were up behind her head, and her eyes had no pupils.

"You called, Hokage-sama?" she asked, sounding torn between irritated and curious. The Hokage shifted me and stood, moving around the desk.

"Anko-san," he said gravely, calmly, "ANBU found you're cousin here outside of Konoha abandoned. As his only relative, I believe it would be only best if you were to take care of him yourself, with some extra money and help to assist you." The girl stared at me, shocked, and I couldn't blame her. Seriously, who pulls this kind of shit on a teenager? 'We found this random baby in the woods who happens to have some alleles in common with you, so here you go, its you problem no, have fun!'

What the fuck!

"There's something you should know, though," the Hokage continued grimly, keeping a firm hold on me when Anko hesitantly reached for me with fingers that trembled ever-so-slightly. She looked up at him, frowning, and those eyes flashed with a warning light I'd come to know quite well from being well acquainted with dangerous and homicidal females…especially around THAT time of the month, when there's no chocolate.

"Well?" She demanded. "What's is it? What's wrong with my otouto?" She snapped, sounding worried, and I was rather touched that this girl already considered me her little brother. The Hokage met her eyes solemnly.

"He's a Jinchuuriki," he said simply; I watched her pale skin get paler, something my monochromic-sight could actually see, and then watched her lips thin and those pupiless eyes harden.

"Who gives a fuck?" She snapped. "He's my otouto, and that's all that matters!" She gently snatched me from the Hokage's arms and cuddled me against her already ample chest, and nuzzled my head, making me coo at her. "My little otouto… Midori. That's your name now." She smiled and stroked my cheek with her fingers, before looking up at the Hokage, face grim. "I may only have been here for a year, Hokage-sama, after what Orochimaru-sensei did to me, but you have given me more then I could ever have asked for in a hundred years of service with that snake-faced-teme. Arigato, Hokage-sama," she said solemnly, and bowed, holding me close, before she leaped out the window, clutching me close.

0.4

'What the fuck is the MATTER WITH YOU NINJAS?' I mentally screamed as we fell several feet, before Anko flared her Chakra and sent as zooming towards the next buildings roof. 'Who the fuck jumps out of buildings with BABIES?' Juu was laughing his ass off inside my head, so I mentally threw rocks at him and muted his area so I wouldn't hear him, and prayed to Jashin-sama that my insane-cackling-Neesan (older sister) wouldn't drop me.

"Let's go home, Midori-chan!" Anko cried; and I wailed my displeasure up at her as we made our way at top speed toward what must have been her apartment, shrieking in my head about insane bitches with fishnet-fetishes.

That was two years ago.

0.5

"Midori-chan, you can't eat a kunai!" Anko exclaimed, gently pulling the weapon from my grip as I sat on the floor gnawing on it, watching her get ready. I have to say, the insane kunoichi was a pretty responsible person for a now-seven-teen-year-old. She made sure I never ate/did anything that could get me hurt, and that she never ate/did anything that could get me hurt. Today was her first day as a Jounin, though, working for Konoha's Torture and Interrogation squad under on Morino Ibiki.

She was actually rather excited, and would have been more so, if she wasn't panicking over the fact that my sometimes-babysitters is on a B-Rank mission out of the country right now, and so she has to take me with her.

"Damn it!" She cursed, again, as she stubbed her toe and nearly tripped stepping on my mangled purple cow, Bo-boo. I scowled up at her, picked up a nearby senbon, and flung it on her, tearing her jacket shoulder as she dodged it.

"No step on Bo-boo, Neesan!" I scolded her clearly; she grinned, scooped me and the horribly stitched cow up, and headed out, ignoring my wordless babbles as I pretended to have a conversation with Bo-boo over the idiocies of older-siblings while she jumped from roof to roof. Fifteen minutes later, we were at the building. Ten minutes after that, we were in the right corridor. Five minutes after that, I managed to sneak away and hide under some random desk in some office, with Bo-boo at my side and a Kunai in my mouth, snuggled in the corner and gleefully hiding out while my sister tore the place up trying top find me.

"What the hell?" A deep voice asked; I peered up at the man who had just stepped behind the desk, and was now staring down at me, hands on his hips, scowling. His face was all scarred and he looked rather intimidating… Or, he would have, If I hadn't faced worse things when I was an assassin and a bit of a psychopath. I shushed him, and pointed my kunai at him.

"My Neesan will eat my liver if she finds me," I told him, words a little slurred but still legible (damn toddler-mouth…). "Me an' Bo-boo is hidin', an' you're gonna let us, or I'll cut off your boy-parts and make that pose suit you, 'kay?" I grinned, nuzzled my Bo-boo, and stuck the kunai back in my mouth happily while an amused look crossed the mans face.

"How old are you, gaki?" he asked bluntly; I spat out the kunai, a trail of drool connecting it from my mouth.

"I'm two an' a half! M'name's Midori-chan!" I declared with childish pride, despite the fact that my name was more feminine then masculine.

"Midori, huh," the man said, amused. "Well, my name is Morino Ibiki, and you're hiding in my office." I eyed him, making my face wide-eyed and as chibified as I could…not a very hard thing to do, all things considering.

"Ibiki-oniisama!" I cried, scrabbling up into his lap as he sat in a nearby chair on wheels. "You're my Neesan's Boss!" He smirked slightly, amused.

"You use a lot of big words for a two-year-old, Midori-chan," Ibiki told me, picking me up and setting me on his desk. I immediately began to kick my feet, beaming at him as I gnawed on the point of the kunai.

"Neesan says my brains too big," I told him idly, rolling my tongue nimbly so that I wouldn't cut it on the weapon at all. Ibiki hummed and, after a few minutes of us staring at one another, there was a rushed knock at the door.

"Enter," he called; I turned as it opened to allow a furious, flustered, and worried-looking Anko in, and grinned, waving.

"Hi, Neesan!" I chirruped happily. "Ibiki-oniisama and me was talking 'bout me!" A vein throbbed in Anko's forehead as she bowed her head and gritted her teeth.

"Do you," she growled, "have any idea how worried I've been?" She snarled; I blinked, cocked my head to the side, and eyed her.

"Um," I said. "Lots?" I tried, inwardly grinning. She grimaced and dragged her fingers through her head as I held up Bo-boo. "Bo-boo watched me! And I can remove boy-parts with my kunai, too!" I announced, spitting out the kunai and holding the drool-shiny weapon up, giggling loudly when Ibiki picked me up and stood. Damnbut he was tall! He handed me over with a stern, vaguely amused look, and Anko gripped me firmly, but not painfully, making me snuggle into her and smile happily up into her face.

"I suggest you keep an eye on this one, Mitarashi," he told her bluntly, eyes amused but serious. "He's a troublemaker." I stuck my tongue out, like any child would, and pointed at him with the kunai.

"You're a troublemaker, Ibiki-oniisama!" I announced, then turned my head and licked Anko's cheek. "You taste like salt!" I declared, before laying my head on her shoulder with a yawn. "Let's nap!" Anko sweat-dropped, rolled her eyes, and carried me out of the room towards her appointed desk.

That was three years ago.

0.6

"Midori, you are to stay here," Anko said serious (I could tell, because she hadn't put that chan on the end of my name like she usually did). The shouts of angry/alarmed shinobi from outside the office were clear, and the twenty-year-old kunoichi looked thin-lipped with anger and excitement mixed. One of the captives, a traitor Leaf-nin named Yanatoyu Keitaro, had somehow managed to escape using a summons he'd snuck in within his body, and was now running loose. Everyone had to go and look, but I, as my five-year-old-self, had to 'stay put'.

'We could always play solitaire,' Juu offered, snickering at my misfortune, and I ignored him like usual.

"Hai, Neesan, I'll stay here," I told her simply, and pointed to under her desk, where I had a small pallet hidden with some toys and a small desk of my own so I could practice my writing (which sucked major monkey-dick, considering Japanese wasn't my first language and my English handwriting looked like shit, too…). Anko stared at me, then smiled softly, kissed my forehead, ruffled my short, messy purple spikes, and shunshin'd out. That was that 'disappear so damn fast you're hardly even there' thing shinobi seem so damn fond of here. I can't wait to learn it…

Hiding under the desk and practicing my calligraphy isn't normally my style, but I was trained to be practical, and it is not practical to send an operative who is totally outclassed after a target. Ergo, no five-year-olds after ninjas. It just doesn't mix well. So I hid obediently under the desk, and worked on my kanji, while my sister and her comrades went in search of the traitor…

That's not to say I was totally unprotected, though, because I had thirty senbon needles in the pockets of my large shorts, fifteen in each pocket. I could work with them a lot better then I could the larger and heavier kunai, though I had one of those too. So, you see, I was prepared to defend myself. I was just rather hoping I wouldn't have to.

Damn Potter Luck.

When the door opened, I pretended I didn't notice it, though I tightened my muscles and made myself quieter. When the door closed again, it brought with it the scent of an unknown ninja, a male, and one that smelled faintly of blood. That raised my hackles, and I carefully pulled five senbon from my pocket. When he moved to stand in front of the desk, and started opening one of Anko-neesan's drawers, I showed him exactly why that was a bad idea, by impaling his feet, wrists, and right elbow with senbon, making him give a startled shout and fall on his ass. Immediately, five more senbon were in my hand and flying, to hit his other elbow, both knees, and both shoulders, and then five more, to hit his hands, ankles, and one to hit the non-lethal spot on the groin, which would cause a full-body agony. He writhed, choking in pain, and I silently returned to my writing as, minutes later, the door burst open as Anko and four of her comrades leaped into the room.

"Kami, Anko," one blurted. "What kind of defense do you put on your drawers?" Anko shook her head, walked around the twitching and moaning shinobi on the ground, and knelt in front of me, grinning.

"Midori-chan," she sing-songed, grinning. "Did you put someone in time-out?" I blinked up at her solemnly, and pointed a senbon at the fallen ninja.

"He tried to get in you're drawers," I told her seriously. "Bad boy." I nodded, and then smiled and held up a picture of stick people that represented her and me with red surrounding us. "Lookit, Neesan! Pretty picture!" She laughed, scooped me and my senbons up, and left the pale and staring comrades in her office, carrying me out of the room.

"Lets go get you some chocolate and me some dango, alright, otouto?" she said; I cheered loudly, excited. Chocolate is the fucking bomb. Ibiki, watching us from the shadows, smirked, and then ran off to probably go talk to the Hokage.

I got all my senbons back, clean and shiny, later, with a book on pressure points and vital points of the body, which Anko is reading to me right now.

0.7

"It's him," one of the villagers hissed, glaring spitefully at a little boy with yellow-blond hair.

"Demon brat," another muttered hatefully.

"Abomination," another spat.

I looked at the boy, who looked about eight-years-old to my five, who squinted his blue eyes shut against the hate and malice, and grinned at the villagers as if their words didn't hurt him, and I walked over and took his hand. He stared down at me, blue eyes snapping wide, and I grinned.

"Hiya," I said warmly. "You wanna eat lunch with me and my Neesan?" I asked; and when on of the villagers moved to 'rescue' me, he found himself with a senbon in the fatty tissue between his thumb and finger, crying out in pain as I never looked away from the other Jinchuuriki's eyes. He smiled and gripped my hand tighter, and I was pleased to note that this smile was real.

"Hai," he said happily, and we headed for a ramen place he knew, Anko meeting us halfway there, but not minding the extra mouth she seemingly was volunteered to feed.

'Softie,' Juu grumbled; I mentally smacked him with a giant plushy, and shut him up.

0.8

"Everyone, this is Mitarashi Midori, he's a new student," the sensei was saying; I ignored him, met Naruto-nii's eyes, and gave him a thumbs up.

"But he's two years younger then us, Takuyu-sensei!" a random girl shouted; I ignored her, ran up the aisle, and plopped down into the vacant seat next to my best friend, who grinned and grabbed my hand, smiling happily at me.

"Mitarashi-kun was moved into this class because he's more advanced then his own class, so he'll be working with us from now on," the sensei continued. "Now, on with today's lesson…" The entire time, Naruto-nii and I never let go of one another, mostly because he was afraid I might move away from him and abandon him if he did. After a month, he finally figured out I was there to stay.

0.9

"Uzumaki, you fail," Takuyu-sensei said, smirking with some satisfaction as Naruto was laughed at. I gritted my teeth, and touched his shoulder briefly when he passed, as I was called up for my turn. We were doing Bunshin, Clones, which were Naruto's worse technique. And one of my best. Coolly, I stood before the proctors of the test…

And failed it on purpose.

Twice.

"I just don't understand," Takuyu-sensei was saying, sounding nervous, as I walked back to my seat. "He does it just fine in class!" The proctor scribbled something down and sighed.

"Maybe it's just performance anxiety," he suggested gently. "You know, nerves and such." Only three of the twenty-eight students pass. Naruto and I are switched from his class together, into a class with a teacher named Fai-sensei. She smells like too-much perfume and a cup of sake before class each day. When Naruto fails her test, too, two years later, I fail it as well. Finally, we're moved again, to Iruka-sensei.

He's the best so far, and Naruto refuses to take his test until I take mine, and I can't fail because he might pass this time, so I pass, and am heartbroken for him when he doesn't. Mizuki, the proctor, tries to let him pass, and I'm grateful, but Iruka-sensei has a point. I'm the only one who sits with Naruto afterwards, and I don't wear my new headband until he leaves, and Anko insists that I put it on for her.

"Now you look like a proper shinobi," she announced, fiddling with my spiky purple hair until some falls on either side of the Leaf-insignia. "Let's go and gets some chocolate, eh?" I smile, but…

"Nah," I said, shaking my head with a stretch. "I'm going to go find Naruto-nii and see if I can cheer him up, 'cause we both know those tests are rigged against him passing," I informed her, sticking a senbon in my mouth and smiling slyly at her. "Now you can go and have a mouth-orgasm with your dango, though, Neesan," I teased, and leaped away from the kunai she threw, laughing, and left to find Naruto again. Maybe I'd treat him to ramen…

1.0

'I can't believe the dumbass managed to steal some uber-secret scroll, and didn't even come and tell me!' I ranted in my head, running through the trees, following Naruto's scent. I erupted from the branches and skidded through the dirt silently, crossing my arms over my chest as I glared at the tired-looking twelve-year-old. He laughed sheepishly, and held it out uncertainly.

"Heh, heh, heh… Wanna see?" I huffed, hopped over, and copped a squat next to him, pupiless-green eyes immediately skipping over the Kage Bunshin (Shadow Clone) technique, which, Naruto explained, he was already working on. I didn't want something hecould do, after all…

Huh. Kage Ookami (Shadow Wolf), eh… Grinning, I got to work on that once I'd read through the description. A strange technique that could create shadow-wolves that could be used like shadow clones, huh? Sounded fitting, after all.

1.1

"Heh, I guess I got carried away…" Naruto said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. I grinned from where I was concentrating my Chakra to start healing Iruka-sensei, who was smiling slightly at Naruto.

"Naruto, come here," he ordered, smiling. "I've got a present for you." As I watched Naruto close his eyes, then tackle our injured sensei when he opened them to find he's been allowed to graduate, I grinned right along with him.

This was so worth the ass-beating Anko was going to give me later, you could believe it!

1.2

"Here's some money," Anko said, handing me a heavy pouch the next day, smirking as I winced, muscles protesting from the workout she'd given me as punishment for running out with Naruto and taking on a traitor like we did. "Buy your shinobi gear and weapons, and no chocolate, Midori, do you understand me?" I pouted. 'Damn, she took off the –chan, and that means she's seriousBitch.'

"Hai, Neesan," I sighed, sulking, before I leaped down from the roof and headed straight for the shinobi weapons-and-accessories shop. I was tempted to get a one-piece like Gai and his little mini-me just to fuck with her head, but then they might start following me or something, and I did not feel like brain-bleach every morning, thank-you-very-much! Walking through the store, I picked up more then enough senbons, a handful of kunai, a lot of bandages, a medic-kit, the standard weapons belt (in purple &Whoot!&), black knee-length shorts that were wide at the legs and with huge pockets, a brown short-sleeves have shirt (it ended about four inches above my bellybutton), and a dark-green cushioned neck-collar that was a zip-on with matching dark- green finger-less gloves. I also bought heavy-duty black army boots with steel-toes.

Going into a changing room, I changed easily. Bandages wrapped me totally from my neck down to my waist, arms/hands/fingers included, then from each upper-thigh down to my feet. Then on came the clothes, which were easy enough. The medic-kit went on the opposite hip as the scroll-pouch, and the shuriken holder was put on my right leg. My many, many, many senbon went into my many pockets and the pouches, and two of my ten kunai hooked onto my belt in plain sight. That down, I made sure some of my hair still curves over the metal plate on either side of my Leaf-insignia, and left the store, happy that I still had some money. I went to a medic-nin-specialty-store, and stored up on poison-antidotes and the likes, as well as some poisons and a book on them (which all went into my scroll pouch to keep them separate…it seemed like a handy thing to have, a bunch of non-lethal poisons and such… Could be fun to experiment with, after all…). After that, I went to the Interrogation & Torture Squad Headquarters, and searched for Anko.

I found her bloody and cheerful, bouncing on the toes of her feet, leaving the cell that held Mizuki, and grinned right back at her, kissing her bloody cheek without hesitation, and licking the resulting blood off my lips.

"Have fun, Neesan?" I asked, amused, and she grinned, looking me over.

"If you weren't my otouto, and five years older at least, I'd be having more fun," she informed me, winking. "Very nice choices, bro," she said, ruffling my hair carefully, and laughing as she got some blood in it and made it tacky. I wrinkled my nose slightly, then smiled and shrugged, before handing her the rest of her money. She counted it right there and then, eyed my outfit and full medic-nin kit, then glanced through my poisons kit with a grin. She recommended some things and a scroll to look up in the library, before we headed out to find the I.D. guy who would make my shinobi picture.

"We found him easily and, after handing him his money, he snapped my picture, which I took to the Hokage and turned in. He congratulated me, I smiled, but we were both a little hesitant around each other. Maybe it was the fact that I was raised in the Interrogation Squad by Anko, maybe it was because I was a Jinchuuriki… Maybe it was because I'd seen inside that scroll, and hadn'tgiven my word like Naruto had, not to spill its secrets to every Tom, Dick, and Jane out there who wanted to know something from it. Maybe it was only the fact I was an early-graduator, and he had bad luck with those in the past, those who carry the mantle of genius.

Who knows? The Hokage's mind is a strange, strange thing…

I think it has something to do with whatever it is he smokes in that pipe, 'cause sometimes it sure as hell don't smell like tobacco!

1.3

The day we were supposed to be separated into teams, Naruto started out sitting next to Uchiha Sasuke. (Honestly, I just call him Duckbutt. His hair looks like a Duck's Butt! Honestly, who does that to their hair?) Then Sakura (the girl Naruto has a huge crush on) shoved her way to sit between them. I rolled my eyes, and sat in another seat a little ways away, reading my book about poisons. My friend Shino sat next to me; he's a quiet bug-obsessed kid with black hair and light-sensitive eyes, so he wears sunglasses a lot indoors. I ignored the little drama Naruto had going on over with Duckbutt, though I nearly swallowed my tongue to keep from laughing when they accidentally kissed.

"That was…unexpected," I murmured, snickering, and buried my face into my poisons book. Shino nodded silently, and some of his little bugs buzzed around in agreement. Iruka-sensei finally appeared at the front of the classroom, and I put my book away to pay attention.

"The next step is the assignment of official duties to you all on behalf of our village," he said seriously. "We will begin by dividing you into three-man cells. Each of which will be mentored by a Jounin, a more senior ninja…" he paused, and smiled slightly. "Who will guide and coach you as you become familiar with your various assignments. I made the selections so that each cell's abilities will be approximately equal–" he easily ignored Naruto and some others exclamation at that, and began reading off names and cell numbers. "–Cell Number Four, Mitarashi Midori, Nekotayu Toyuchi, and Yotosuichi Rin–" I nodded as two girls lifted their hands, and we nodded to one another. It seemed I'd be the only team that had two-girls-one-boy opposed to the usual two-boys-one-girl or three-same-gender usual. And I was the medic-nin, as opposed to the Nekotayu, who I already knew was a weapons- and summons-user. The Yotosuichi was the only one I'd no information on, and I took careful Intel on both of my Cellmates.

Toyuchi had shoulder-length light brown hair, and used her headband to keep most of it out of her face, except for thick bangs, which covered one half of her face and one dark-brown eye. She had a pretty enough face, and was already developing breasts, which showed with her blue half-dress, which was cut diagonal so that it ended at one hip and at the other mid-thigh. She wore tight black shorts underneath that, and black boots, with the usual black belt. A machete rested over her right shoulder, for easy reach.

Rin had waist-length black hair in an extremely severe braid, arched black brows over blank, cool black eyes and a reserved face. Ah, one of those "A good ninja shows no emotion" types. How the hell is that supposed to work on an undercover mission, huh? Anyway, she was reading a book (About mining, of all things), which she'd pulled from her slightly larger-then-normal scroll pouch (Black weapons belt). She was wearing a dark green dress that stopped above her knees, and black sandals. If I took into account her hardened-looking upper- and lower-arm and leg muscles, I'd say she was our taijutsu expert. And since I preferred long- to mid-range attacks myself (though I'm no slouch at close-range), then we're a pretty rounded off group!

If one of us is pretty damn good at ninjutsu, that is… But never mind that! Oh, it seems Naruto is on Sakura's team with Duckbutt… You know, it's not fair that only Duckbutt gets a name. It's not that I don't like him; I just don't like his hair. I don't like her hair either. I'll call her Pepto from now on. Yup! Naruto-nii, Duckbutt, and Pepto. Toyuchi, Rin, and me.

This is going to get interesting…

"Okay, everyone," Iruka-sensei continue easily, ignoring Pepto and Naruto's little tussle in the seats. "I'll be introducing your senior ninjutsu instructors this afternoon. Until then, you're dismissed!"

1.4

"Team Ten," a man with a short bear called, smoking a cigarette.

"Ino, Shikamaru, Choji," Iruka-sensei called; the three immediately went forward, Choji chomping down on a bag of chips to hide his nerves.

"Team Eight," A beautiful woman with black hair and red eyes called; I bit back the instinctive mix of rage and revulsion at the sight, my face giving nothing away. (Seriously, she was like the gorgeous, sane love-child of Tom Riddle and Bellatrix! Gah! MY EYES!). "I believe that is Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Hinata, and Aburame Shino," she continued, smiling slightly at the slightly frazzled-looking Iruka, who laughed weakly and ran off to help someone else find their Genin. I patted my bug-obsessed friend on the back, and he nodded to me, before he walked silently over to join up with his (creepy) Jounin.

"Team Four!" A cheerful, slightly robust man called, with shaggy brown hair, warm brown eyes, and a grinning face. "Nekotayu, Mitarashi, and Yotosuichi!" I slid my poisons book away an jumped over my desk to land in front of him, seeing as how I was in the front row, and saluted easily.

"Mitarashi Midori, at your service," I greeted easily, gnawing on a senbon. Toyuchi pounced on the spot next to me.

"Nekotayu Toyuchi, here and ready for action!" She announced, grinning excitedly. Rin stepped up, glanced up from her book blankly, and stared at him.

"Yotosuichi Rin," she said simply, and went back to reading, as if the book (a different one on the properties of certain minerals) had all the answers in the universe. The Jounin laughed, rubbed the back of his neck, and made a 'this-way/follow-me' gesture, heading out the door. I waved at Naruto, and obediently followed my new sensei, wondering what, exactly, we were going to learn when we got to wherever we were going…

1.5

We ended up on the roof of the library, on top of Hokage Mountain. It was really quiet, and even Rin relaxed, putting her book away and leaning back against the edge of the building.

"So, my name is Kanden Tekuno," he said, smiling easily. "This is my first time taking on a Genin squad, though I've been a Jounin for five years. I became a Jounin at twenty, a Chunin at fifteen, and a Genin at twelve. And while we seem to have an overachiever in our midst," he sent a playful wink my way, and I grinned at him and twirled my senbon in my fingers idly, "I want all of you to know that, once you hit Chunin, it's perfectly fine to stay there and never reach higher. Or, if you want to, you could actually become a Tokubetsu Jounin, otherwise known as a specialty Jounin," he grinned when the three of us nodded. "I see you all know someone who's one of those, I guess."

"My Neesan is a Torture/Interrogator," I said offhandedly. Toyuchi shrugged.

"My entire Clan is usually specialty Medic-nins." Rin blinked blankly.

"My brother is a Hunter-nin." Tekuno nodded, grinning, and spread his arms wide.

"See? Lots of different things you can do… Though, frankly, you're kinda scaring me, with the double-douse of Anko going on here," he muttered, eying me, and I grinned cheekily and slid my senbon away, showing him empty hands in a placating manner. He chuckled. "Alright though!" He announced, clapping his hands. "Lets do this thing! The usual standard is this: you introduce yourself with your name and age, then you say your likes, dislikes, hobbies, and dreams, and we'll add any significant notes you want your comrades to know about you, alright?" We nodded. "I'll go first, shall I?" Again, we nodded.

"My name's Kanden Tekuno, I'm twenty-five, and I like weapons(here, Toyuchi cheered), chocolate (I cheered), and bird-watched (silence…). I dislike ramen (I muttered about Naruto yelling at him), orange (CoughNarutoCough), and dango (Oh sweet Kami, Anko.). My hobbies are looking at, buying, and training with weapons (insert another cheer from Toyuchi) and playing with my niece and nephew. I dream of one day being a Konoha hero and having a statue built in my honor. Significant notes about me? I like jokes. Bring me a good one, and we'll be friends for a long while!" He grinned, and Toyuchi and I obligingly clapped, while Rin just stared at him, waiting. "Alright, let's go with you, Anko-Mini-me!" I grinned.

"Hiya, I'm Midori, and I'm ten. I like chocolate, my Neesan, Ibiki-oniisama, canines in general (did Toyuchi just hiss?) and chocolate–"

"You said chocolate twice," Toyuchi interrupted; I blinked.

"That's because it's just that damn good," I told her bluntly; she blinked. "Anyways, I dislike broccoli, cry babies, fan-girls/boys (collective, agreeable shudder), and shinobi that don't/can't pull their own weight. My hobbies are studying interrogation techniques with Neesan and Ibiki-oniisama! As well as finding other neat skills I can cultivate into my stealth-inclined attacks, like poisons, which I've recently become interested in and need a subject for…" I winked at my slightly pale sensei. "Just kidding, sensei. No practicing on teammates. My dream is to one day die by chocolate." I stared, blinking. "Baring that though, I'd rather like to be an ANBU… Or an interrogator…. Ooh, ooh!" I hopped up and down, grinning. "I can be both! So, yup, that's my dream… And now, significant notes." I stilled, and glared at them darkly, scowling.

"Touch my chocolate and I will torture you to death. My sister is the Mitarashi Anko, so don't think I won't! I've got permission from the freaking Hokage, paired with enhanced senses. I. Will. Find. You" I beamed at them. "That's it~!" I sing-songed; Toyuchi and Tekuno hesitantly clapped; Rin just stared.

"Your turn Nekotayu," Tekuno said, chuckling a little nervously. The brunet hopped up and turned to face us, smiling warmly at us.

"Hello, I'm Toyuchi, and I'm twelve," she introduced. "I like cats (I winced), weapons (obviously…) and cute things (stare). I dislike dogs (I growled), stupid jokes that have to be explained (understandable), and idiots (who doesn't?). My hobbies are training with my machete or cat-summons, and sometimes my other weapons. My dream, currently, is to one day be able to summon the Boss Cat like my Kaasan can, but I need better Chakra control for that." She grinned sheepishly at that; Tekuno nodded. "Significant notes about me? Well, I really don't like those cat-based jokes or phrases, so those 'cat-got-your-tongue?' sayings should be used well away from me, or else you can consider them a health risk. Otherwise, that's it…" She smiled, and we clapped again.

"You're turn," I told Rin, who silently stood and stepped up, turning to stare at us with blank black eyes that would do Snape proud.

"I am Rin," she intoned dully. "I'm twelve. I like to read and train. I dislike loudness and boredom. My hobbies are reading and training with my Clansmen and now, I suppose, with you." She gave us a cool, assessing look, then continued on. "My dream is to one day learn the Yotosuichi Clans most secret Jutsu, if I am properly prepared to do so. Significant notes…?" She trailed off, and stared into space for a few seconds.

"I like quiet. You have been warned. Oh, and touch my books, and not even the ANBU will ever be able to find your bodies." She blinked. "That is all." We all stared at her, before Tekuno-sensei cleared his throat and got to his feet.

"Alright," he said simply, calmly. "Formal training begins tomorrow, with a test. If you pass the test, you get to stay as Genin. If you fail, it's back to the Academy for you," he said, smiling easily, but there was an edge to it, a warning. "It won't be a walk in the park, but you should be able to get it alright. I believe in you three. Meet back here tomorrow, at noon. And don't eat breakfast!" He added, before he shunshin'd away, leaving the three of us. I sighed, shook my head, and stretched.

"Well," I said easily, scratching the back of my neck and smiling slightly up at the sky. "This day turned out to be interesting…" Before I hopped down from the roof after waving to my teammates, and headed towards the Interrogation and Torture Squad HQ. I wonder if Anko has any chocolate for me…

Probably not, but it never hurts to check.

A/N: First chapter! I own Yotosuichi, Nekotayu, the two unknown Academy pplz, but NOT Kanden Tekuno. He's actually a character from the anime! So, there! Anyways, R&R!