Me: Lots of people are doing it, so why not?

Finn: Doing what?

Me: Delivering mail, of course! The DHIs get LOTS OF MAIL. Also, you can review the story and start off like,

Dear Finn,

I like… ch…eetahs.

Love, Kat

Finn: Ch…eetahs?

Me: I wanted to put cheese. Finn and all of them can respond, and I can bring it for them! Since they happen to live in the same state as me. Fanfiction powers, since I can't drive. Yet.

Finn: We will all regret the day Kat can drive.

Me: Bring it up with the driving people. Anyway, WRITE! This will updated… whenever and EVERYONE YOU SEND IT TO WILL RESPOND.

Finn: But for now, here's a wee bit of what you'll be seeing.

Letters to the DHI, Chapter 1

Kat POV

I opened my backpack and shoved as much mail as I could. Curse you, over obsessive fangirls! I stood in the middle of the living room and spoke the spell.

"Hocus Pocus, Abrakadabra, Alakazam, Finn's House!" I closed my eyes. When I opened them, I was standing on the table in Finn's house.

"Hi Kat," Jez said, breezily passing me, because they saw me too often, when I called meetings. (Different story, maybe later).

"Here's Finn's mail!" I said cheerfully, sliding it under the door. Or tried to. It didn't fit, overly obsessive fangirls and all. I got on my knees, shoving it as hard as I could underneath the door. The door swung open suddenly and I slipped and faceplanted in the carpet, the letters flying across the room.

"Kat?" Finn asked.

"Mailtime!" I exclaimed, hopping up.

Finn POV

I picked up the scattered letters and opened the first one.

Dear Finn,

Is it fun being the leader of the DHIs? Do you really love Amanda? Is she your girlfriend? You're my favorite DHI!

Love,

Ninablossom

I sighed and wrote back.

Dear Ninablossom,

It's quite interesting being the leader, but I don't want to come off as bossy. I do NOT love Amanda, despite common belief, therefore, that answers the third question: She's not my girlfriend. And thank you for being a fan!

Love,

Finn

I put that on the table and one of the magical Harry Potter owls swooped in through the window that was closed and took the letter away. One thing those owls were good for. I read the next one.

Dear Finn,

Are you aware that Kat kidnapped you? In another life? I'm holding Philby hostage and Catluver3 has Amanda. I think. Anyway, by little raptor!

Love,

KingdomKeepersNerdness

What?

Dear KingdomKeepersNerdness,

I apparently am not aware that Kat kidnapped me. All she does is bring us mail. In another life? I'm certain I'm still on my first life, thank you very much. I'm also certain that you do not have Philby because he is answering mail in the room next door right now. And Amanda's here too. I do not believe I am a miniature bird.

Love,

Finn

Willa POV

"MAIL!" Kat screamed through the door. I opened it up and saw her skipping down the stairs to Philby's room. I picked up the pile of letters at my feet and prepared to write.

Dear Willa,

Are you and Philby dating? You should. Also, I have Philby hostage, and you're in the closet with him. GIVE ME SOME KLEENEX AND A MILLION DOLLARS IF YOU WISH TO SEE YOU BOTH ALIVE AGAIN.

Love,

Catluver3

Huh? I was going to call up Philby, but I studied it for awhile before deciding even HE couldn't make sense of it.

Dear Catluver3,

Philby and I are not dating, and I've seen plenty of stories for 'Wilby'. You probably do not have Philby hostage because he's downstairs making cookies. I prefer Puff's actually, not Kleenex, and you have me at your house? Maybe you have early trick-or-treaters?

Peace In the World,

Willa

I set it down on the windowsill and Bill Gates swooped it up. Don't judge the name of my Harry Potter owl!

Dear Willa,

I like the shampoo you use, Herbal Essences, but sometimes you use Garnier Fructis when you run out. I'll see you tonight. But you won't see me. You never do.

Watching Always,

Bret

"KAT!" I screamed. She flung open the door.

"What? Poison? Anthrax?"

"No!" I showed her the letter. She began laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny about this?" I demanded.

"Nothing," she said, suddenly not laughing. "I wonder how he wrote the letter, probably the few times he was conscious…"

"What?"

"Don't worry, it's just Bret the Stalker. He acts like he stalks you, but really, he's locked up in my closet, occasionally being tased!" she reassured me cheerfully.

"Wait, what?"

"Tip, tip, cheerio!" she said in a British accent before leaping out of my room.

Dear Bret,

No comment.

Peace In the World,

Willa

Me: And for reference, NinaBlossom, Catluver3, and KingdomKeepersNerdness are all real people. And Bret.

Finn: He's part of Catluver3's story, Adventures of the Average Middle Schooler.

Me: I don't think that's the title.

Finn: I made it up.

Me: Okay.. anyway…

Read and Review? Send letters to them! They're bored without it! I won't have an excuse to confuse you! Or them! With the kidnapping cloning thing. And as for, 'when I call a meeting', I accidentally mentioned that and don't believe in Backspace buttons. Mythical creatures! Anyway, when I start a new fanfic, I gather OCs, instructors, Fanfiction writers, birds, rhinos, and purple cheetahs in the same room and try to inform them of what they do in the story. Gah, that's too confusing, maybe I'lll write another story about the insane meetings I'm forced to have. WRITE LETTERS! And BRET is always watching.