A long time ago, sonic the hedgehog had a bad attitude and a nasty scowl. Then for some reason Sega decided to change Sonic and now the hedgehog in the Sega games is bland and looks very childish, gay even. And then a few years later Shadow the hedgehog came out, who not only looks like Sonic the Hedgehog, but has a bad attitude, although he's not evil. Do you expect me to believe that it is just a coincidence that Shadow the Hedgehog looks like the old Sonic the hedgehog?
The new Sonic the Hedgehog was fighting Eggman for a chaos emerald again...
"Eggman! Give me that Chaos Emerald!" yelled New Sonic.
"NEVER!" yelled Eggman.
Then Knuckles yelled "Give it to us now or we'll beat you and your robots up!"
"You'll have to beat Sonic the Hedgehog first!"
"What?" queried New Sonic.
Just then Eggman got out something that looked like a ray gun. "Shadow get over here!"
Shadow came out from behind a rock. "Why?"
Tails was apparently there too. He screamed "What are you planning Eggman?"
"Do you know how my great grand pappy Robotnik created Shadow the Hedgehog long ago? He actually made him from your dad, Sonic."
New Sonic had no idea what he was saying still "What?"
Then Eggman hit Shadow the Hedgehog with a ray and he turned into the 1980/90's Sonic, AKA Classic Sonic.
"Brother!" Tails screamed.
"Oh my love how I've missed you!" said knuckles for some reason, and then he ran over to Classic Sonic "I thought you were dead!"
Classic Sonic spoke "GET AWAY FROM ME HOMO!" Then Classic Sonic ran to new Sonic "So I have a son huh?"
"Do you remember me?" said Knuckles.
"Yeah, I remember everything now. You're the Echidna who guarded the Chaos Emeralds. I don't remember you being gay though."
"I'M NOT GAY I JUST MISSED YOU OKAY!"
Classic Sonic started to mock Knuckles "Yeah, you were waiting to F**K me." Then Classic Sonic tried to impersonate Knuckles "Oh my darling Sonic! Why did you have to die before I had the chance to F**K you?"
Knuckles was pissed "SHUT UP!"
"Whatever fag." Classic Sonic walked over to Tails "Yo Tails! How've you been?"
"You know, F*****G chicks and S**T." replied Tails.
"Good." said Sonic.
New Sonic still had no idea what was happening. Amy then appeared from what seemed out of nowhere "Who the F**K are you?"
"I'm Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog!" said Classic Sonic.
Eggman then yelled "Stop socializing with them and kill them already!"
"You wanted me to kill these guys?" asked New Sonic.
"YES!"
"No can do." said Classic Sonic "I don't kill anyone. It's against the law you know."
Eggman yelled "If you refuse to kill them then I'll turn you back into Shadow!" Eggman tried to shoot Classic Sonic, but he dodged. Sonic then yelled "Does anyone have a ring?"
New Sonic had a ring "I have a ring."
Classic Sonic was running around dodging Eggman's shots "Then throw it to me!"
New Sonic threw Classic Sonic a ring, and then Classic Sonic did his sparkly spin thing.
New Sonic had no idea what that Sparkly thing was "Knuckles, what's with the sparkles?"
Knuckles replied "It's his most powerful attack, even more powerful than Chaos control. The Sparkles not only increase his speed and attack tremendously, but the sparkles make him virtually indestructible.
"So, what's the sparkle thing called?" New Sonic asked.
"I forget" replied Knuckles.
Then Classic Sonic jumped over to Eggman and destroyed his machine, and his flying transporting egg thing (I think it was called the Egg Carrier, but I could be wrong). As Eggman was falling, so Classic Sonic tried to catch him, since he didn't like to kill people; but of course Eggman was fat and Sonic went out of his sparkle mode, so Eggman squished Sonic like a pancake. Since Classic Sonic was once a cartoon character and since Eggman's fall was broken by Sonic's body, they both survived. Classic Sonic smelled like Eggman's ass though. Then Sonic took Eggman to jail and no one was bothered by Eggman again and Knuckles got his Chaos Emeralds back.
The End
