Note that I actually did not watch the full movie, because I was actually unable to do so, rather than because I was lazy. I was however, able to see thirty minutes of the beginning, and ten minutes of the end today, so this fic is based on that.
Uh…kinda depressing/angsty? More introspective than anything, really. But man, I love to angst up Disney characters. All these things you never really think of as a kid...
"Do you think Mother Gothel ever really loved me? …I did."
.:x:.
Rapunzel learns the story behind her birth soon after she is reunited with her true mother and father. Back then, as Mother Gothel's behavior had fallen into place, she had nodded her understanding and gratefully said her mother and father, "I'm glad." No other words were needed. They were a family again.
But when Flynn Rider-Eugene, as he was now called again-successfully sneaks onto the grounds to see his lady fair, he finds her out on the balcony, like the fabled Juliet. It takes a few moments for her to spot him, and when she speaks, it isn't with annoyance, but not happiness, either.
"Eugene," Rapunzel begins, looking down at him from her ledge, "do you think Mother Gothel ever really loved me?"
Eugene is alarmed for a moment, but quickly regains composure. He regrets that there is no ladder nearby for him to steal and climb up. But even as he assures her that the King and Queen have loved her before she had ever been born, that he loved her, Rapunzel interrupts him again.
"But did she?" she repeats. Then, after a pause, she said softly, "I did."
Because of course, of course she, as a child, had thought at one time or another of what her life would be like with a different mother, one who would allow Rapunzel to go outside, who would dote more on her, and not on her hair...of course the young Rapunzel had once yelled that she hated Mother Gothel during a tantrum (something which Rapunzel quickly learned to never do again). Of course she had-for, even in Rapunzel's skewed understanding of mothers, what child didn't?
But like most children who love and are loved in return, even perhaps, just for their hair-even they do not actually mean such spite. And though Rapunzel, like all children, eventually grew up, understanding that Mother Gothel was actually fond of the restorative powers in Rapunzel's hair, Rapunzel never doubted her Mother Gothel.
"I love you most."
Because, in the years they were together, Rapunzel wanted to believe there was a small moment, even in the smallest measure (1), where Mother Gothel truly loved her, for her. Because Rapunzel had wanted to save her, had reached out for her. Because Mother Gothel was her Mother, and Rapunzel loved her more.
It is the same question that is asked the next day, this time to the ground where Mother Gothel fell, and then, to the soil that gave up its precious flower. Rapunzel does not expect an answer from the earth, nor does it deign to answer.
And though, really and truly, the moment passes-it had passed that night, actually, she assures Eugene-she is grateful when he pulls her into a sudden, long hug; and she is more grateful to be able to hold onto him as he guides the horse back home. She has realized, at least, on some basic level, why her Mother Gothel clung to her hair so fiercely, drunk with greed and gold strands and the promise of youth.
Scars, as one finds out too late, run deep.
.:x:.
fin.
(1) was taken from a line in the movie, Ever After.
