Don't Give Up on Me
by: a psycho chibi named Wendy
Disclaimer: I do not own a thing except a slightly dented imagination.
Warnings: Language, slight yaoi/shounen-ai, AU, Oneshot
Pairing: ZoroxSanji
Summary: When times turn for the worse, an already volatile relationship can turn ugly and bitter. Zoro's left with figuring out how to pick up the pieces when he realizes he walked out on a suffering Sanji.
Author Rant: Another fic inspired by a song~ This time the song is 'For the first time' by The Script. Not a songfic, I only use a few lines for effect.
Enjoy~
fjfjfjfjfjfjfjfj
"GET OUT!"
The words still echoed in Zoro's head as he climbed the stairs to their apartment. Just hours before he had stormed down these very stairs growling every curse he knew in three languages before hopping from bar to sleazy bar drowning himself in rotgut booze. Drinking to ease not only the pain in his ribs, but a pain that went deeper in his chest. He had heard the term 'a hurting heart', but he had always dismissed it as sentimental garbage.
Now as he headed down the hall with the apartment door looming in the distance, he finally understood what a hurting heart really meant.
It all started when Zoro had lost his sponsor in his kendo competitions due to a corporate buy out. He couldn't afford the travel to continue competing, so resorted to getting any work he could to save up money. That wasn't so bad. Not when you lived with celebrated chef Sanji Black. Sanji was supportive in his not so gentle way of kicking his ass out the door and chucking a fully loaded lunch box and thermos at his head.
It was frustrating when he had to hop from job to back breaking job for steady work, so that stress was already there.
But a few months later...
Zoro could still remember the horror that was on Sanji's pale face when he got the call.
The building next door to the restaurant Sanji and his adoptive father built from the ground up had caught fire. In the midst of the fire department trying to put out the blaze before it could spread, the exterior wall that stood next to the restaurant had collapsed. The damage had been extensive.
It was clear on both Sanji's and Zeff's faces that they were devastated. The entire staff was struck beyond words. Patty had actually broke down crying and had to be taken home by an equally distraught Carne. Zoro was at a loss of was to say or do, so just stood by silently along with the rest of their close friends to offer whatever meager support they could.
The way both Sanji and Zeff stepped into the charred slag of their shared dream haunted all of them. Smoke still rising from the wreckage, burnt carpet and plaster crunching beneath their feet. It wasn't until Sanji found a broken and partially burnt picture of him and Zeff when they first opened the Baratie did Sanji break. It was the first time Zoro had ever seen the old craggy chef hug his son.
The insurance paid a hefty sum on damages, but you couldn't replace something that meant that much. Instead of spending all the money to have the place rebuilt, both Sanji and Zeff agreed to pay out enough to help keep the employees afloat while they looked for new work. The rest of the money...
Zoro recalled brief conversations on looking for a new building, but he knew the two cooks wouldn't have their hearts into looking.
That's what set off this downward spiral.
Sanji seemed to simply sink lower and lower into a dark depression. He talked less. Went out less. He seemed to be trying to avoid everything in general. When Sanji actually ruined a meal one evening due to a bit of carelessness, he seemed to just give up all together.
Sanji hadn't even made toast in two weeks. He wasn't eating, and seemed to just sleep all day. Not wanting to talk to anyone, and being set off into vicious rants of anger when anyone tried. After he snapped at Nami of all people when she was wearing some slinky off the shoulder number, everyone stopped coming over. They knew it wasn't something they could help with. Luffy still tried, the loyal idiot, but Zoro usually stopped him from getting near the blond. His rants turned violent around men.
Which brought him to today.
Zoro had tried to get Sanji out of bed. To get him going, but the stubborn bastard flat out refused. Then the arguing started. Once Sanji started yelling, Zoro immediately went on the defensive. Horrible things.. Hurtful things were tossed back and forth until three words were said.
"You useless swordsman!"
Those words from Sanji's lips just made something inside Zoro snap. His fist had reared back and connected with Sanji's jaw before he could even think. The look of pain and shock on Sanji face was the last thing he saw before something plowed into his chest and had him slamming back against the door.
Then those two words.
"GET OUT!"
So Zoro left without looking back.
And here he was. Standing in front of their apartment, staring at the door.
He had no idea what he could say to fix this. If this could even be fixed. He had spent hours in different bars. Trying not to think about the idiot cook. Finding himself only thinking about that idiot cook. When his thoughts only turned into replaying their fight, he would stiffly get up, pay, and head for the next bar. Vainly hoping the change of scenery would help him forget.
At the fourth bar, he was starting to feel a little less pissed as the liquor finally calmed him down. His mind was starting to drift to nothing in particular, which was what he wanted. A moment of peace to just sit still. As he was settling deeper into his newest bottle, a song on the jukebox started playing in the background. He listened to it above the noises of the other patrons. It pulled at him. It made that pain in his chest grow with every word.
When he heard the end of the lyrics...
Oh these times are hard...
He stood up...
Yeah they're making us crazy...
Tossed some money on the bar...
Don't give up on me, baby...
And left as quick as he could.
If he gave up on Sanji now...
What would Sanji have left?
"Nothing worth sticking around for..." Zoro whispered to himself as he continued to stare at the door. He didn't think that Sanji would really do anything to himself. "But he won't do anything for himself.. Not like this..." Not taking care of one's self was as bad as hurting themselves directly. The first one just took longer.
Shifting the bottle of wine he had in the crook of his arm, Zoro tried the door. Finding it unlocked, he quietly stepped inside. He wasn't surprised to see the furniture in the living room torn up. Cushions ripped, a shelf of books knocked over, broken glass on the floor. It wasn't the first time Sanji's anger exploded. It was just the first time he had walked out instead of trying to stop it.
Steeling himself, Zoro stepped over the broken glass on the hardwood floor and headed towards the light in the kitchen. From the doorway he saw some more broken glass, but nothing else seemed damaged. Even at his worse, Sanji couldn't bring himself to harm a kitchen.
It was then he heard a quiet sob. Glancing over to the dining area he felt that pain in his heart grow stronger. Hunched over the dining table, Sanji sat. Arms folded atop the cherry wood finish and his face buried deeply into them. His blond hair ruffled from hands running through it over and over in frustration.
It was very faint, but Zoro heard the sounds of misery. They were in time with the way the blond's shoulders shook. Sanji was in so much pain, and the anger was just an instinctive way to fight it back.
Zoro understood that now. He just hoped he wasn't too late in realizing that.
Silently wondering how to approach this, Zoro glanced around, feeling nervous. It was then he noticed something red on the floor. Red smears and blotches on the tiled floor. His heart froze for a moment. '...Blood...' His eyes shot to the blond and looked at his arms, but he saw no blood there on the pale limbs. Glancing back down, he frowned deeply when he saw the red was smeared on the floor beneath Sanji's bare feet.
"Baka.. I would think you'd have the sense to have shoes on before you started busting up the glassware."
The moment Zoro spoke, Sanji's entire body tensed up like a coiled spring. Trembling as he looked ready to snap. "I told you to get the fuck out!" his shout was muffled as he kept his head buried.
Zoro silently cursed himself at the crude start, but had to go with it. "I did. I came back."
"Congrats on not getting stupid lost. Now go away."
"No."
Sanji slammed his fist on the table and lifted his head. "Just leave me the fuck alone, you shitbrained bastard! I don't want you here!" he snapped, but the pain he was in made his voice crack. Hearing that himself, Sanji let out a snarl and struck his fist against the table again. His free hand trembled as he raked it through his hair yet again. "Just get your shit and get out of my life!"
Though the words stung, Zoro stood firm. "We both know you don't want that."
His anger being tempted again, Sanji jerked sharply in his chair and glared hard at the other man. "What the hell do you know about what I want?! I want your ass gone!"
When Sanji faced him fully, Zoro bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to make it bleed. The blue eyes were bloodshot and glossy. Tear stains were still on the flush cheeks that were looking hollow from the lack of regular eating. Despite sleeping so much, there were dark circles under Sanji's eyes that looked like heavy bruises. They matched the ugly bruise on the left side of Sanji's jaw. It was swollen slightly, and the pale lower lip was split. There was still a smear of blood on his chin.
Now that Zoro looked at Sanji, truly looked at him, he finally saw how Sanji felt.
Beaten.
That pain in his heart grew another notch with each second he stood there.
"I'm sorry." The words were pulled out of him with out even thinking as he looked into Sanji's lifeless eyes. "I'm so sorry, Sanji..."
The apology seemed to throw Sanji off from his anger. He had never heard the gruff moss head apologize for anything. It got his attention past that ugly haze he had been trapped in. "... Sorry for what..?"
"For being an idiot." Zoro started as be approached the table. "For getting too easily provoked into an argument when you only needed to vent." He sat the bottle of cheap Chardonnay on the table before taking the other chair and bringing it closer to the silent cook. "For taking things personal when I know you're just angry." Zoro finally sat himself down in the chair and reach out to gently take hold of the bruised chin. When Sanji seemed to flinch from him, a sad frown pulled over his face. "For hurting you on top of being in so much pain... I'm sorry, Sanji." he finished quietly while pulling his hand away.
Sanji was speechless for a long moment. Staring at this foreign look of guilt on Zoro's face was almost surreal. He could tell Zoro meant every word, which only floored him further. He glanced down at his bruised hands and fidgeted uncomfortably. Now that the anger had been abruptly knocked out of him, he was confused.
It was an awkward silence until Sanji looked to the bottle. "... You know we already have Chardonnay here... You didn't have to buy more.." he mumbled, unable to meet Zoro's gaze.
A weak smile tugged at Zoro's lips as he bowed his head and ran his hand through his messy green hair. "I know.. But I was inspired, and it just seemed like the thing to do.."
Another silence before a quiet chuckle left Sanji. "Idiot..."
It was said in affection, like it used to be. Zoro's smile grew. "Yeah."
Hesitantly, Sanji lifted his head to look at his companion. He caught Zoro's dark gaze and simply looked at the man he had lived with... Hell, possibly loved for so long...
"I'm sorry too." he finally whispered.
Zoro's expression softened as he reached out and took hold of the abused hands. How much Sanji had to be drowning inside himself to allow anything to happen to his hands... Zoro brushed his thumbs over the bruises gently. "I can't promise things will get better..." He looked back to the blue eyes watching him. "But I can promise no matter what... I won't let you go through it alone."
Sanji felt choked at the honest words spoken to him as he held on to the larger hands tightly. "That's all I need." he answered as his eyes misted over.
There was no hesitation in Zoro's movements as he moved closer. He let go of one of Sanji's hands and reached up to gently wipe away the tears before they had a chance to fall. Licking the saline from his thumb, Zoro leaned in for a simple chaste kiss before pulling the blond into his arms. Though Sanji was tense for a moment, he soon relaxed when the strong arms held him securely.
For the first time in what felt like forever, the chaos that had torn apart Sanji's world finally grew still. He was able to take a deep breath without that crushing weight on top of him. He finally found something that he could still hold on to. "Thank you.." he mumbled against Zoro's neck.
Zoro smiled and held on tighter. "Just don't give up on me."
"Never."
"Wanna get some Chinese food delivered? I'll patch up your feet while we wait."
"That Chardonnay doesn't go with Chinese food, idiot. That's a dessert wine."
"Was that a yes or a no?"
"Yes."
fjfjfjfjfjThe End fjfjfjfjfj
Never give up.
Later~
