This prompt comes from safe-place-to-land . She posted this post/122522726363/well-i-dont-know-about-you-but and I sort of took the prompt on ;)
prompt: Spencer using Toby for sex as a coping mechanism after returning from the dollhouse. How long will Toby go before addressing it?
warning, there is smut involved, so if you don't like that, probably don't read idk
I don't typically write smut, so...brace yourselves.
ayyy also i know i haven't posted in a long, long time! Well, I will leave an explanation at the bottom!
i. the first time
He braces himself for her to be a mess, for there to be more tears than skin, but it isn't like that. She doesn't even give him enough time to get a good look of her face. Her lips are on his instantly. She hasn't kissed him like this since their reunion at the doll house. A fire ignites inside him, a hunger for Spencer Hastings that never ceases to end. No matter how much he gets of her, it's never enough. He is a bottomless pit when it comes to her. He is completely enticed and bewitched by her.
He closes the door behind him, separating himself from her for a moment. She has her hands wrapped around him still, not letting him go even for a second. He faces her again, about to say something, when her lips crash into his once more. She's being more aggressive than usual She used to be like this in the earlier parts of their days when they would make out; she wanted to show dominance. He hasn't seen her like this in a while. Probably since the time they got together in the motel, when they reunited after she thought he was dead.
"My room. Now." She orders to him, her eyes locking with his. "And be quiet my mom's home," she adds as an almost afterthought.
When they get up there, he expects her to say something; for some, small explanation at least; maybe a little flirting, but nothing else comes out of her mouth the whole night besides moans and whimpers.
When they get into her room, she presses her lips to him, stripping him quickly, making a rush out of it. It's almost 2AM and he's a little drowsy and sloppy with his actions. He's tired, but Spencer seems fully energized. The more time he spends with her though, the more awake he feels.
She can't get his belt off which makes her groan. He does it for her, telling her that it is okay, they have time. After he gets his pants off, her lips are attaching to his chest. She had removed her own shirt the second they got in here, and wasn't wearing a bra to start with. His hands roam the canvas of her bare back. He grabs a fistful of her dark hair in his hands. It's soft against his rough, calloused hands.
She drives her body into his, their bare bodies rubbing into each other. She guides them over to the bed, pushing him down, sitting atop him. This is about control. She wants to feel in control after having none. Toby gets that, so he lets her take him wherever she wants to. He lets her have complete dominance.
She is straddled on him, her lips once again smothering his chest. He puts his hands on her hips, massaging them. She grabs a condom from her bedside table's drawer. She puts it on him, herself. With a few body movements, he is inside her. He places his hands on her breasts and then her stomach. Her hair covers her entire face, but she still looks beautiful. She rides him, her hands placed on his stomach. He can feel the desperation of need from her and tries to make it better by entwining his hand with hers.
When it's over, she rolls over next to him, breathing heavily. She doesn't look over at him like she normally does after sex. Instead she just closes her eyes. He knows it's his cue to go, but he feels weird doing so. He presses a kiss to her lips before departing. She kisses him back tentatively, opening her eyes after for just a moment.
"Love you," he tells her.
She nods back and he knows she feels the same, even if she isn't in the mood to say it back.
ii. the second time
Three nights later, he gets another late call from her. She tells him to come over. She sounds upset. He tells her he will be over right away.
When he gets there, he is once again pulled in for a deep, sensual kiss. He thinks about it, wondering if he should say something, but doesn't. How can he reject her? Reject this? It's impossible to push her away when her tongue is massaging his mouth. He'll try after.
They go into her room quietly, making sure her mother doesn't hear. When they get inside, both of them crash into each other, kissing manically. He wants to feel her whole entire body. She craves his touch. The intimacy between them is on full blast.
They go sit on the red chair, well Toby sits on the red chair, Spencer is in his lap. She is completely clinging to him. Her hold on him is stronger than the hold of earth's gravitational force. He supposes it makes sense. Their connection is magnetic all the time. He can never go long without having an overwhelming need to see her.
He stands up, carrying her to her bed. She sits on her bed while he stands in front of it. Her hands quickly help discard his shirt and pants. Before he climbs on her bed with her, she removes her top. It was one of his.
She was wearing the shirt as a nightgown, so pants are not an issue. He hovers above her, both of them sliding up the bed. She has her hands all over him, feeling everywhere all at once. She needs to meet every inch of his body right this second. Her body is on fire, but instead of wanting to put it out, she only wants to ignite it further. She does this by feeling all over him. She needs more flames-needs him.
Pleasure washes across her ignited body as he kisses all over her face and shoulders. Her whole mind has entered a state of bliss that she had thought was so far gone that there was no way of possibly getting it back. He kisses her with a passion, a passion of love and care. With this kiss, she knows that he meant it when he said they never stopped looking for her.
The way he looks at her, it shows his care for her. As they breathe, both catching their breath, they just stare. She sees how much he adores her in the way he looks at her. This is why when he does bad things, she forgives him. She remembers how his eyes look when they find hers. He truly and deeply loves her, as she does him.
After finding a condom, their bodies become one. He moves inside her, gently at first, but then deeper. She feels her body tensing and tensing, all the pressures and fears grouping at that moment. She claws at his back, and for the first time that night, she speaks. "Harder." The word barely makes it pass her lips, but Toby hears it and compels.
After they are done, Toby falls beside her. He stares at him. She stares back.
"Are you okay?" he asks a few moments after, his voice dry. "You sounded upset on the phone."
"I'm fine." She answers distractedly. "I'm tired." She corrects herself, yawning. "You should go." She tells him.
He wants to argue, but it's late, so instead he just listens. He lays on his side for a minutes, his arm keeping him up. He leans over to her. "Goodnight Spencer," he tells her. She looks up at him, her doe eyes fighting to stay open.
She strokes the side of his face, a tiny, puny smile poking up on her face. "I love you. Thanks for coming."
"Anytime," he tells her. He presses a kiss to her lips before getting up to go.
iii. he's lost count.
She pulls open her back door, ceasing the knocking, the quietness of night once again consuming the house. She pulls the man into her, skipping the hello, and greeting him with a deep kiss instead. She feels all over him, the mold of his body comforting her. This is real, she notes. She isn't in some creepy, psychopath's dollhouse anymore, she is in the comfort of her boyfriend's arms. His arms are tied around her, one of them closing the door behind him. Their chests and bodies are aligned together, grinding against each other, killing the space between.
The way he holds her; it's too intimate not to be real, too euphoric to be a figment of her imagination. Her hands cup around his unshaven, scruffy face. Her fingers curl into his skin, reinforcing the closeness of their mouths.
They walk upstairs in silence, their hands entwined. Spencer can feel Toby looking at her the whole way up the creaky stairs and hallway. She keeps her eyes on the floor. She doesn't want to whatever kind of stare Toby has in store for her. Her mom is home. They have to stay quiet, but even if she wasn't home, they would probably remain mute. Toby knows why Spencer invited him over. Spencer isn't in the mood to talk.
When they are in her room, Spencer pushes Toby against the back of her closed door. Her lips attach onto his, her hands reaching up his shirt. She pushes it up, helping him take it off. The feeling of his hot, hairy chest fills her with warmness. Not just from sexual desire, but comfort. He is here. He is here in the flesh, his heart beating beneath her fingertips.
His chest and abdominal surface is so hard but makes her feel so weak; like she is melting and flimsy. She feels disconnected with her body and mind when she is intimate with him. It's why she likes it. For a second, she is parted from the universe she was born into. Instead, she breathes the air of another world, this world far more better than her own. In this world, her lungs fill with color, while in the other, they fill with dust; rusting and rotting, leading to death.
He has his hand in her shorts, making her legs only further buckle. He teases her, his fingers sliding inside her underwear band. Her eyes squeeze shut. His lips move to her neck, sucking on her, surely the beginning of a hickey. Her toes curl, a shadow of a smile dusting across her face.
He takes his hand out of her underwear and shorts, his lips detaching from her neck. Then his hands reattach to the sides of her shorts and underwear. He pushes them down, pulling them down. They fall to the floor. Her whole bottom half is exposed. His hands roam up the back of her thighs and onto her ass. He encloses his hands there, squeezing her butt.
She keeps her eyes on him the whole time. He looks back up at her before pulling her up and onto him. She straddles onto him, her hips thrusting into him. He uses one hand to pull off his shorts. He performs the task as fast as he can.
They haven't said one word to each other this whole time. Toby breaks this silence. "I love you." He whispers while carefully climbing them onto the bed so he doesn't hurt her.
She nods, "Me too." The words barely catch his ears, but he knows that she does without hearing it.
He kisses her mouth with a genuine, tender kiss before branching out to the rest her body. Her shirt is still on, but it's just a tank. He easily manages to get her out of it. The interruption of his lips from her body does not last long. When his lips reach her chest, it's like the interruption didn't even occur. He continues down her stomach, his hands rubbing against the sides of her body. Her legs are sprawled open, her whole body tensing up. Her hips thrust forward in anticipation.
She knows what's coming when he pulls both her legs up, hoisting them on his shoulders. He is hunched over, his lips brush against the inside of most inner thigh. Then with one shift of his head, his sweet kisses turn into tongue, and he is inside her.
It's her first orgasm of the night. The second comes along shortly after. The second comes from regular sex; traditional lovemaking, filled with adoring stares and intimate mouth to mouth kisses; the kind where she has her hand clenched to the sheets and to her boyfriend's back. The kind where she bites down on his shoulder, leaving him a hickey for the morning.
When both times are over, they lay beside each other. She feels tired and sleepy, and struggles to keep her eyes open, which is a delicacy considering how things are right now. She tries to stay awake because Toby is talking to her. The first couple times she called him over to do this, he always tried talking to her after. After she shot him down a few times, he gave up. She thought he got what they are doing, but apparently he still doesn't understand.
"Spencer, you know that this can't keep happening." He says quietly. He is touching her arm with the tip of his fingers, stroking them against her.
She mumbles back. "Doing what?"
"You know what..." he sighs.
"Can we just talk about it another time? I'm tired."
He knows that she doesn't get sleep so he lets it go. "Okay," he responds. He presses a kiss to her forehead before getting up to go. "Goodnight." If Spencer's mother wasn't home, he would stay. But she will come check up on Spencer in a few hours before work, and will not be happy upon seeing him with her in bed. So he goes.
iiii. A talk.
She invites him over the next night at 12AM. She is doing this everyday now. He goes over, but this time he has no intention to sleep with her. He is going to have a talk with her instead, whether she likes it or not.
When she opens the door, he is immediately taken in for a kiss. He doesn't kiss back though. He pulls away, closing the door behind him before facing her again.
She looks confused, maybe a little rejected too, but tries for another kiss nonetheless. He leans back, not meeting her pursed lips. It's hard to deny her of a kiss. He wants to do whatever he can to make her feel better, but they need to discuss this. They haven't once talked about it. Spencer rejects him each time. It's like they just pretend it doesn't happen.
"Spence, we need to talk."
"About what?" she replies innocently. She folds her arms across her chest. She looks so innocent. Her hair is tied in a bun on top of her head and she is wearing a shirt three times too big for her. It's his shirt.
"You booty calling me each night."
"Are you worried about my mom? Toby, she hasn't even noticed. Our system is golden."
"That's not what I'm talking about," he shakes his head, placing a hand on Spencer's. "Come on," he tugs her, "let's sit."
She grabs his hand, then encircles her other arm around his neck. She gives him the smile he can never reject. The smile that is too amazing to say no to. "Or... We could go to my room," she tempts, making her voice raspier than usual. She is trying to seduce him. She shrugs her shoulder, so one side of the shirt falls down, revealing a patch of skin.
His eyes skim over her lips and then the patch of new skin. "No." He tells her. "I think the couch is a better option."
She looks annoyed. Her copper eyes go hard. "Okay... Sure, let's... talk." Her hand goes free from his. She walks to the couch alone.
He takes a seat next to her. He doesn't even know what to say. She isn't looking at him. Her lips are pushed together in annoyance, her arms crossed against her chest. She crosses her legs, looking completely guarded.
She's so goddamn stubborn.
"You know this isn't a correct way to cope, Spencer."
She looks away, completely ignoring him.
"Using sex? It's just... I want to help you anyway I can, but I just feel like..."
"You want to talk, I know." She turns to him, her words hard, along with her eyes. "But I'm not ready!" she exclaims. "What about that can you not understand?" she asks, rolling her eyes.
"Sometimes when I come over, I notice that you've been crying, but I don't say anything ever because I knew you wouldn't want me to, but I notice Spencer. I notice, don't you damn think for a second that I don't see that."
Her eyes soften slightly, her body slightly relaxing. Her arms unfold, her legs uncrossing.
"Spencer..." he murmurs, stroking the side of her cheek. "I would have sex with you every night, gladly, but I'm scared this is going to be your only coping mechanism."
She sighs. "When we have sex, I-I feel... It feels real. I know that I'm out of that place. I know it's not just..." she swallows, glancing away.
"Not just a what?"
"A hallucination," she inhales, her voice nearly breaking.
He rubs her back, staring at her intently.
"When I was in there... I would blank out. I was exhausted," she says so quietly he can hardly make out the words. "I didn't... I would blank out and have hallucinations, and then I would snap out of it, and be back there." He swallows, feeling the need to bring her into his arms and shield her forever.
She looks at him. "I know that I'm with you that it's real, that... It just helps me forget about that place. I feel good. I know that people can get addicted to sex, and that with my track record, that might scare you, but..." she sighs, her shoulders slumping. She isn't looking at him in the eye now. "It makes me feel better. It helps me rest. It's the only thing that's really helped."
He nudges his face against hers, his nose rubbing against her cheek, his forehead against her temple. His arms wrap around her. She holds onto him, leaning against him. "Toby, I love you so much. I trust you with my life. I just can't... I can't just tell you everything. Not yet."
"It's okay," he responds, leaning from her to place his hands on her face. "I know how it is, but I don't care what it is, I'm willing to take it on. I will stay with you no matter what."
She smiles tenderly, wrapping her arms around him, bringing him into a hug.
ayyyyy, leave a review to tell me what you thought :)
and hello old readers, how are you? i bet you want to stick a dagger through my heart, well... The thing is, my computer broke. I could barely use it, so I couldn't write. Now, I have a new computer, but little motivation and inspiration. I do not know if I will finish my old stories. I will try, but as of right now, I am just getting back into fanfiction. I'm sorry! I'm sorry forever. I hope you still read my stuff.
