Summary: Sasuke is every females' dream; tall, dark and handsome—too bad for them he's gay. Then there is Naruto; every gay guys walking wet dream, who happens to be straight. Though Sasuke's not convinced. Not at all. SasuNaru
Warnings: AU. Yes. Another highschool fic—Though I'm hoping for some originality. Some het. Slash (meaning boy with boy in romantic and/or sexual relations.) Orochimaru (who isn't a complete freak) Language that may offend. Violence. Adult situations. Suggestive dialogue and maybe sexual content. Though I might pass on the last, generally because I wanted to write something funny and light, not too sexually based. Aren't there enough of those on here? Anyway. Un'beta'd!
I have warned you. If you are uncomfortable with any of this, then turn back now.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction, written purely to entertain myself and (hopefully) whoever else stumbles upon this and finds it amusing.
Main pairings, Top/Bottom: Eventual Sasuke/Naruto. Some Naruto/Sakura and onesided Sasuke/Sakura. Plus onesided practically every guy student/Naruto.
High school Confidential
I
Bastard
サスケxナルト
Sasuke-kun? What isn't to like about him? He's so handsome and talented and smart. He's the school president and the captain of the basketball team. I don't know anyone who can match him in anything. He's the best!
But if I had to chose someone else... I'd say the new boy. He's a natural blonde! Most of the other girl's think he's too pretty. They're just jealous of his looks, I mean blue-eyed blonde? Though I agree he can be sort of air-headed. And he's kinda loud. But he's still a great guy and he's fun to be around. In fact, I've changed my mind.
If I were to choose between Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun; it'd definitely be Naruto-kun.
サスケxナルト
The day was turning out to be a rather bright one. Birds wheeled overhead, singing as they went about their daily business in the concrete and glass forests with bright neon signs and screens that made up the majority of Tokyo city. Even the temperature had lifted to something that closer resembled the heat of the summer months rather than the beginnings of spring. All in all, the day was turning out to be a good one.
Oh, what the hell was he thinking? The day was shitty. That irritable and continual RIIIIIING stated— "Oh, screw it all—" that he was late. Again. For the fourth time that week. Iruka-sensei was going to slaughter him. Then gut him and dance around in his blood using his intestines as some bizarre source of entertainment.
Heh, that was a bit morbid. Even for him.
Bounding from his bed with the energy that a teen of his age shouldn't naturally possess so early in the morning—it was half past seven, so said his alarm but that's considered early in any normal teen's mind. Totally besides the point, but anyway—Naruto dashed to his bathroom for a quick shower, whilst simultaneously washing his teeth and brushing his unruly golden tresses. A difficult feat while it still had shampoo that needed to be washed out.
If that's not talent, he thought spitting the excess froth and toothpaste down the shower drain, then I don't know what is.
Drying himself once all the soap residue was washed from his pale-gold body, he hurriedly dressed in his school uniform. The trousers were black and a little bigger than regulation dictated but hey, that was fine by him and gave him the excuse to wear a belt. It also made his legs look a little bigger than what they really were. A plus on any given day. The black school blazer fit easily over his charcoal coloured jersey, where the collar of a plain white shirt peeked out. The school tie was black with diagonal stripes of silver.
All in all very boring.
Sometimes he wondered if it would hurt anyone to add a little colour to the school uniforms instead of making them so... so, well black and white. Then again, this was a school where they expected you to wear their uniform to their specific requirements, use the standard book bags, wear the regular issue school shoes—black, shiny monstrosities—that Naruto refused outright to wear and opted for a pair of hightops instead.
The girls uniform wasn't much different varying only in the black, charcoal, grey and white plaid skirt with socks.
Shockingly enough, they had a choice in what kind of socks. So long as they were either black or white. But still, there was a choice. Naruto blamed it on the old principal who chose the school uniform.
I bet he was a complete pervert, the blonde grumbled inwardly. I mean, who dictates what colour a girl's underwear are meant to be? And what kind of material?
That's right. The girls had to wear white cotton underwear. Talk about power freak. Who does that? Seriously.
Casting his eye around his messy bedroom; the bed unmade—like yesterday—resting near the French sliding doors that lead to a small balcony; a pile of unwashed clothing pushed to the opposite corner of his room; his wardrobe door open wide, like a gaping mouth needing to be fed and the trash spilling from the rubbish bin right next to it. He'd have to clean up. Tonight. Maybe. If he could be bothered.
As for breakfast...
"Looks like I'll have to skip," he muttered in some annoyance, some longing but mostly resignation. Yes, definitely a shitty start to a shitty day. His clock now read ten past eight.
Maybe if he was fast enough, he could grab something from that little café he'd passed the other day? Now that was an idea. Snatching up his bag, he donned his sneakers and flew out the door with a muttered, "I'm heading out."
No one answered.
No one ever did and he was used to the stifling silences now. House keys jingled as he bounded down the stairs, through the lobby of the complex—an absent wave thrown at the doorman—and out onto the sidewalk.
This wasn't what he'd had in mind when he'd transferred into the school.
It was his first year—his first week damn it—and already most of the teachers knew him by face. By voice. By the fact he was tardy and loud and had started that riot down in cafeteria... Which was—by the way, totally—not his fault. Someone had just taken a sudden dislike to him. He thought it might have been that total babe Sakura-chan's friend... but he couldn't be sure.
Well someone had taken a dislike to him and shoved him, or rather tried to shove him. The result? Someone else being shoved in his stead, which knocked into yet another person who's tray—bearing a bowl of miso, ouch—had tipped and spilled all over some completely innocent bystander. Said bystander countered with wasabi. Yes, wasabi.
Naruto pitied whoever got that in their eyes. Stuff burned like a... um, yeah.
Cue food fight.
It involved practically everyone in the room and miraculously, Naruto managed to escape the onslaught of flying edibles unscathed while practically all other beings in the vicinity were cloaked in foodstuffs. And still, the newbie was pegged with the blame. Typical. So freaking typical. The jerks. But not Sakura-chan. Never Sakura-chan.
She was one of the few people he had talked to. Strangely enough, she was one of the only girls that genuinely seemed to like him. All the other friends he made were guys. A mismatched group that seemed to have nothing in common.
Wonder how Kiba went with that job interview last night, the blonde pondered his scruffy looking brunet friend. The boy appeared more feral than Naruto had as a small child. Complete with red war paint marring both of his tanned cheeks.
Having a part-time job was generally frowned upon in highschool due to the hectic work load and pressure to get into good universities but Kiba had claimed he needed the extra cash for his dog, Akamaru. Strange. Naruto hadn't thought owning a pet could be so expensive. Was Kiba's dog the size of a horse or something?
Glancing up from his musings, Naruto caught the pedestrian light blinking green; signalling he could cross the road and did so. He carried on down the road and crossed through the local park.
At this rate, he'd only be maybe fifteen minutes late to home room. That was fine since his home room teacher was also notorious for his late arrivals, however the problem lay in the fact that they locked the gates at half past eight. Though Naruto had a way around this barrier. Or rather, over. A daunting task, given the height of the fence and the savage looking spikes that capped it.
Like little spears, Naruto reflected with a grimace and took another step. Right out into the road.
HONK!
And immediately snapped out of his trance at the sound of rubber tearing and gripping at asphalt and the harsh blear of a car that seemed to speeding towar—
Argh. Hellooo chrome grills.
Naruto was almost sure he saw his fickle life flash across his vision. Then again, it may have been the blinding silver reflecting the sun directly into his eyes.
Well, what do you know? He opened his eyes slowly—having squeezed them shut at realising his oh so traumatic predicament—to find a very irate looking man, sitting behind his steering wheel of a very glossy looking sports car.
Apparently Naruto had tried crossing the road without looking. Retake. A busy, traffic riddled road, without looking. And holy shit he was still alive. All praise the wonderful, beautiful, perfect gods for being kind enough to watch his thoughtless, retarded arse and save him from certain doom. Namely being that of road kill... Yes.
"What was that?" Demanded the livid looking man, also sounding really quite well... livid. He was also shit loads taller than Naruto who was suddenly cursing his flawed genetics as the man stepped out of his car, ignoring the curious stares both were garnering.
Maybe this guy has something else mixed in a well? Naruto considered, taking in the other's somewhat built form and again, cursed both his mother and father for being on the rather slim side. He was the one who had a part-German, part-French bloodline mixed with his Japanese heritage and yet this guy was almost a full head taller.
The guy's face was pasty—which answered nothing of the race debate since most Japanese were pale, anyway—though the structure of his face wasn't typically Japanese and the slant of his eyes was slightly off but both his eyes and hair was dark. Eurasian?
"I asked you a question, moron."
There was a question? It was then that Naruto spotted the emblem on the man's blazer and felt shock surge through him for about a second and a half. "You go to Konoha Gakuen?" The question wasn't necessary, the emblem was enough proof. Ha! Apparently he wasn't hated. "Great. You can give me a ride," he had already walked around the car and leapt into the passenger's seat.
The man—no, boy—glared at him. Naruto stared back. What the hell was up with this guy's hair? All girly in the front and... plain fucked up at the back.
"Get out of my car," the other teen snapped, throwing his door open and looming. His shadow fell over Naruto, blocking the glare from the sun. It was most unwelcome. Inside the car was freezing.
"Look," Naruto thought to point out. Noticing the A.C was turned on he flipped it off, earning himself a fresh glare. "You almost ran me over, then didn't even bother to ask if I was alright. The least you could do is give me a lift to school. Since we both go there and we're already late."
The boy blinked, swore under his breath, jumped into the car and started it up. "Just put your belt on," the raven-haired teen grunted, lowly. "I'm not being held responsible for your death if we stop suddenly and you're thrown from my car."
Sounded fair enough, even if Naruto rather disliked the guy's overbearing persona. "Deal." The blonde pulled the seat belt around his middle and clicked it into place. "I'm guessing you're a third year, huh?"
"Hn."
Azure eyes narrowed in contemplation before giving up. Thinking wasn't exactly his forte. Questions, now that was another thing. He peered over at his silent and somewhat broody driver. "Is that a yes," he asked. "Or a no?"
Said driver developed a slight eye twitch."It's a mind your own damn business. Now shut up."
"Heh," the blonde muttered, golden brows furrowed and mouth turned into an unhappy pout. Well, if the bastard wasn't going to talk then he'd do all the talking for them! Sounded like a plan. "I'm a second year," he declared. "Just started on Tuesday. I sorta tend to move around a lot, so I'm not used to attending a normal school but decided maybe I should settle for my final years, y'know?"
He glanced over at his dark-haired driver again. The boy didn't appear to be listening.
"So yeah," Naruto shrugged, feeling a little disheartened. Usually it wasn't that hard to get someone talking to him. Maybe the bastard's part rock? "I came here, but so far my week hasn't been all that great. I've been late every single day so far. Was blamed for a riot in the cafeteria—"
"That was you?"
Naruto was surprised at the question but winced at the harshness of the sound. "It wasn't me," he denied, shifting uneasily in his leather seat. Leather, seriously? In summer it blistered and stuck to your rear and in winter it was likely to give you piles... "I was blamed. Or did you miss that part?"
Silence.
Typical, Naruto scoffed inwardly. Silence when I ask the question. Bastard. "What is your name, anyway? I can't just keep calling you bastard." Oh, oops. Did I say that out loud?
The other boy glared over at him and the blonde sank—just a bit—into his seat.
Apparently I did.
"You really lend credence to the whole blondes are dumb stereotype."
Naruto's head snapped around. "What?" He bit out.
The bastard had the audacity to smirk, though his eyes were still focused on the road. "You heard me," he replied. "In fact, I believe the blondes from the stereotype are smarter than you. Since you apparently lack the ability to follow a simple command or even track a conversation."
"Ever thought that maybe, I just don't like following your orders, dickwad?" Naruto threw back, heatedly.
The smirk immediately dropped from the other's face as a scowl surfaced instead. Then he turned the A.C back on and fixed an irritated glare on the blonde, whose hand had risen of its own accord to turn the cooling system back off. The look dared Naruto to go against him and despite being of the rebellious sort, the younger boy wasn't sure how far the other's patience actually extended and decided against it.
An awkward silence ensued.
"Sooo," Naruto began and definitely didn't flinch when his driver's scowl turned down right murderous. He shifted a little further away from the overwhelming—shut up and die—vibes that the other was broadcasting. "Gonna tell me your name anytime soon?"
Silence.
Again.
Huffing, Naruto crossed lean arms over his equally lean chest and glanced out the window. This was just plain awkward and irritating. Never in his life had he stumbled upon an individual that was suffering such a severe case of Bastard-ese. It had to be of the terminal kind. Gods, he could only imagine how difficult it would be trying to locate and retrieve the silver spoon that was so obviously lodged up the older boy's ars—
"I'll make you a deal."
Azure eyes flickered to the boy driving, startled from his reverie. Then said eyes narrowed in suspicion. A deal? What kind of deal? He hadn't been too willing to talk before, so why make a deal?
It was about that time that something in the sixteen year-old grew uneasy. What if this guy actually had family in the yakuza, and was just waiting until he was older to join? What if he was about to use Naruto as a drug mule? No, no maybe he was about to take the blonde for his own depraved purposes?
Naruto swallowed. Dread rising in his stomach at the very prospect. I'm too young to become someone's cleaner and cook. It dawned on him then that there were far worse fates than to end up someone's house cleaner. Like ending up in the products of said house cleaner.
"Are you listening?" The dark-haired boy growled.
The blonde wasn't really. Well, not after the deal part of his speech. Which was kind of obvious with the blank look within his deep blue eyes. "What kind of deal?" He asked warily.
The other must have heard the guarded quality to his words because he spared the blonde a brief, slightly angry glance. "I'm not going to do anything to you, idiot." He paused and then reconsidered his words. "Unless I'm really angry."
"I knew it!" The blonde burst out, index finger thrust accusingly at his driver. "You're going to sell my body off to the highest bidder, aren't you? So I'm made into cleaning products!"
This time the look the dark-haired senior spared him was bewildered and of the, 'what the hell?' quality. "No," he replied, evenly. "Though, if that was my intention it would be your own fault. You don't just get into a car with a stranger. Even if he does apparently go to the same school that you do."
Oh. So he wasn't about to be made into Kao starch spray. Good to know. "So, what's your deal then?"
"I'll tell you my name."
At this, Naruto perked up in his seat. Interest evident in his clear blue eyes and smile gradually forming on his face. He ignored the horrible squeaking slid of the leather seat beneath him. "That's grea—"
"But," the other interrupted, still facing the road. Heh. He drove one-handed. "Only when we get to school. If you stay quiet."
Somehow Naruto felt as though there was a piece of candy being dangled in front of his nose and he'd been told he could have it. But only if he ate his vegetables first. Despite this, Naruto decided it was achievable. It couldn't be that hard, right? They were almost at school now.
"That's it?"
His driver nodded in agreement. "That's it.
"Okay," the blonde exclaimed, brightly. He'd win this. No problem. All he had to do was think about something else. Like his pain in the arse homeroom teacher who was a not so closet pervert. The man was always late. Without fail and usually had his head buried in a book. One Naruto highly suspected wasn't intended for an audience under the age of eighteen. Or even the faint of heart.
He opened his mouth to ask the other boy about Kakashi then snapped it shut. The click of teeth audible in the too quiet car.
Okay. So maybe this would be a little harder than he'd thought. So instead he peered out the window and watched as buildings flashed by as he gnawed at his nails. They acted as a poor substitute for breakfast but maybe he could find a vending machine before heading to his homeroom. His nails could tied him over until then.
It wasn't until the car stopped moving and turned off that he realised they had reached their destination. Before the school gates were closed.
He blinked then grinned and instantly unbuckled his belt before he shot out of the car and into the sunlight. The warmth danced along his back and sunk into his skin. He sighed contentedly but snapped out of it as he heard the car lock with a beep.
The other boy was already walking away.
"Hey!" Naruto called out, disheartened and feeling largely put out. Voice carrying easily over the practically empty student parking lot. Wow, was he really that loud? He'd never really noticed it before. Hmm. "You said you'd tell me your name if I kept quiet!"
The dark haired boy paused, then shot a look over his shoulder. "I lied."
Then he was turning away again and all Naruto could do was stare and curse the jerk to kingdom come. Fine. If he doesn't want to give me his name I'll just dub him The Bastard and leave it at that.
Satisfied with this, he ran to his homeroom. School bag bouncing awkwardly over his shoulder as he threw open the door. At least he'd beat his teacher, Kakashi to—
"Hello Naruto-kun."
The man—who was notorious for being late—was already seated at his desk, nose buried in a green book of dubious content. The blonde froze on the spot, eyes wide before he forced a nervous grin. "Morning Kakashi-sensei!"
Maybe the gods did hate him after all.
And there my ducklings is the first chapter. Don't hurt me. I know I haven't updated any of my other stories in ages... But yeah. Erm. Anyway!
I'm curious to see what you'd think of this. So please leave a review. Con-crit always welcome. And no, Naruto isn't the is-that-a-breastless-girl?-I-can't-tell uke type. I'm basing this on the fact he looks like his father who was called "girly" looking.
