The Consequences of Being Naughty

By Asha

I don't own anything

Chapter 1

This was NOT her day, Buffy thought as she puked for what seemed like the 10th time that day. Her toothbrush already looked noticeable worn. Slayers weren't supposed to get sick, but noooo, I'm not a real Slayer anyways. I don't even have the fucking handbook, so why would I get to enjoy one of the few perks of the job?

Geez, it's hard enough kicking ass in a skirt and heels. Now I have to do it with a fucking cold too? So not fair, and don't even think that I'm giving up my stilettos. After a while, hearing that you're too tiny to be the Slayer and getting laughed at by fledges gets a little annoying.

"Buffffyy", her little sister whined. "How long are you gonna be? You've been in there for like hours"

Okay, Buffy, relax. Don't yell, and don't give Dawnie a personal demonstration of what Slayer strength is really like. After all, the little brat didn't mean to get you sick, Buffy chanted in her mind to will away the aggression she was suddenly feeling.

"I'll be out in a second, Dawnie", Buffy replied in a sickly sweet voice. Her sister didn't seem to notice, and just voiced her agreement in a peppy little voice that Buffy found more annoying than ever. God it should be illegal to be that cheerful in the morning, especially without coffee. Now that was just unnatural.

Finally feeling the knots in her stomach subside; she brushed her teeth, again, and left the bathroom. One of the things she had realized during her week of continuous puking was keeled over the toilet waiting for the world to stop spinning was actually a pretty good time to reflect on your life. Kinda like your own personal confessional, but instead of a holier-than-thou priest, you had a non judgmental porcelain basin.

She walked back into her room, and a picture on her dresser caught her eye. It was of her and Riley doing his idea of a good time…no, I know what you're thinking, but farm boy's too much of a prude to ever let her photograph him, so get that idea out of your mind. No, it was of them having a perfect little picnic, looking every bit like the perfect American couple.

Ugh, and just when I thought I had the taste of puke out of my mouth…

After last month's incident with a certain ho of a sister slayer and some body swappage, she had had more of enough of Riley. Yeah, she had decided to forgive him, but only cuz she actually believed that he didn't know it wasn't her.

I mean, come on, Riley doesn't have the balls to cheat on me. If he did, he'd probably confess to me and beg for my forgiveness like the whipped little puppy he is.

But after some quality time with the ceramic god she had dubbed Mr. Imtoogoodforlysol, inspired by the fact that no one had bothered to clean it since… lets not go there.

Anyways, I decided what's the point of having a boyfriend if you have to rely on the pulsating showerhead to get you off after he leaves? God, I should really invest in a dildo, then I wouldn't have to waste all that time pretending I'm actually interested in what Riley has to say. I mean, how many conversations can you really have about cars? Guys, don't answer that.

Walking down the steps and feeling surprisingly light hearted after deciding to dump Captain Cardboard, she greeted her little sister with a genuine smile, and made her way to the coffee pot.

Fuck, just when I thought I reached my daily quota for upchucking, she thought as the smell of strong coffee had a negative effect on her for the first time ever. She ran back up the stairs, and made another sacrifice to the Porcelain God.

When she finally lifted her head, she saw Dawn standing beside her, smirking, and dangling a brown bag in her hand.

"Here you go Buff, have fun!" she said as she threw the bag in her general direction.

She opened it up, and swore in a way that would have made Angelus blush, and stared at the contents.

As she took the object out, it suddenly clicked.

"Fuck! The little skank forgot to use protection!"

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