*All rights go to stephenie meyer for the characters anyway*

Bella POV

I layed on my bedroom floor, curled up in a small ball. My entire body was screaming with pain. I was struggling to breathe and every single breath that I took sent shooting pains throughout my chest. Everytime I moved my head the room would start to spin. I dont understand what i did to deserve all this pain that I have to suffer in my life. Every single day I get bullied at school and then have to come home to an abusive father.

My name is Bella Swan and I am 17 years old and my life is nothing but full of pain and agony. It all started when I was just ten years old and my mother passed away due to cancer. I was a happy, energetic young girl before my mum passed away but that all changed when my dad started abusing me. A few months after my mother died he started to blame me for my mother's death and that hurt me more than anything else in the world.

My dad, Charlie is the chief of police of Forks, washington and spends most of his time at work but whens hes not he is always drinking until he passes out and thats when the abuse is the worse. I will always remember the first time he hit me. It was a couple of months after my mother passed away.

*flashback*

The front door slammed open and in walked a very angry looking man that didnt look anything like the dad that always loved to spend time with his daughter because now i could see no trace of him whatsoever. He came barging into the kitchen and screamed right into my face. 'Get to your fucking room now you stupid bitch'. I jumped back in shock. I had never seen my dad so angry in my life until this point. The was the first time I ever heard him shout.

I made a run for the kitchen door but before i managed to reach the door, he grabs my arm until i was screaming in pain and begging him to stop. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. Tears streamed down my face at an incredible speed. 'Please let go of me dad' I begged him. This only made him grip my arm tighter and then he picked me up and threw me roughly on the floor.

'your nothing but a waste of space, you should of died instead of your fucking mother' He shouted in my face. His words hurt me so much, It felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest. I stood up with tears running down my face and pushed him away from me and ran up to my room and cried myself to sleep.

*end of flashback*

That was the first time he ever hit me and ever since then things began to just got worse and worse. Gone is the once loving father and in his place is an evil wicked man. Every single night he beats me sometimes so badly that i lose consciousness. To make things even worse I spend everyday getting bullied at school. Theres just no getting away from the constant pain that is my life. I wish i was dead. Atleast that would make my dad happy and I would get to see my mother again.

I got up from my bedroom floor and walked into my bathroom tripping over as usual due to my cluminess and landed on my already sore ribs. Flashbacks of my dads last beating came springing to mind. He kept kicking me over and over in the ribs whilst the whole time I was begging him to stop which just made him laugh and increase the amount of kicke. My whole body was black and blue from his beatings.

I stepped into my shower and let the water cascade over my sore body. The water wasn't very warm but it was very soothing on my very sore ribs almost like putting an ice pack on them.

I quickly washed by body whilst crying out as soap came into contact with the cuts on my back left by my dads belt. He would beat me then hit me with his belt for every time I screamed and I never stopped screaming until I would pass out from the pain he had me in. I tried to not scream but it was so hard. I felt so weak. I was nothing but skin and bone. Most of the clothes that I had were starting to get far to big for me as my dad only feeds me enough for me to stay alive. I remember the time I asked him for some new clothes, that definitely didn't go down well. He told me that i didn't deserve anything because I was a murderer. He has never stopped blaming me for my mothers death.

There is times when I would be made to go days and days without any food at all and my stomach would ache so bad which just added to the pain that I already had to cope with.

I quickly dried myself off and put the only clothes that still fit me on and made my way downstairs praying that my father was either gone to work already or would be in a good mood and not hit me but of course that was just wishful thinking.

As soon as I got to the bottom of the stairs he punched me straight in the stomach which caused me to scream and fall to my knees holding my stomach. He then started to punch and kick me and didn't stop for about 20 mins before spitting in my face and shouting 'GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW!'

I quickly got to my feet as fast as i could knowing if i wasn't quick he would punish me further and ran out of the front door as fast as body would allow me to go. I kept on running until I could no longer see the house and just collapsed on the floor panting loudly.

Every single part of my fragile body screamed at me in pain. I was tired. I don't know how much more I could take of all of this. I knew that more pain waited for me at school and I didnt know whether I had the strength to get through it. I really wish I had a friend, anybody i wouldn't care just someone I could enjoy myself with and have at least a little bit of happiness in my horrible life.

I got to my feet once I gained enough strength and started the hour long journey to school hoping that they would just give a break for one day. It wasnt much to ask for but I knew it wasn't going to happen. I did once have a few friends called Angela, Jessica, Mike and Eric but they stopped hanging out with me when the bullying started because they didnt want to get bullied aswell which made me feel so alone and angry but at the same time I was happy that they were happy. I would never want anyone else to get hurt or bullied constantly just for being friends with me.

When my mum was alive she would always admire that about me. She knew I would rather be the one getting hurt than have someone I cared about coming to harm. It was just the type of person I was and was bought up to be like well when my mother was alive that was. I made a promise to myself that even with all the stuff I go through at home and school that will never change the way I treat others.

I knew I had to stay strong because that's what I promised my mother before she died but at times it just all got too much for me handle. I wanted nothing more than for her to be proud of me and I will make her proud no matter what happens. I just have to stay strong for a little while longer.

First fanfic I have ever written. I have read loads on here and wanted to give it a shot.

vote and comment :)

thanks for reading xx