I feel like I need to explain myself. So you know how everyone has that one kink that they love to read in fics but would never, ever want to admit out loud that they actually enjoy? Yeah, well that's kind of what this fic is for me. Daddy!kink is my... not-so-secret shame. It's been many, many years since I've actually felt awkward or embarrassed writing smut, so this was an interesting experience for me.

It's probably why it took such a long time for me to finish this. Another factor might have been because I just found out that I'm going to see Noel Fielding live in November when he goes on tour, and the fact that I'm going to be seeing him all three dimensional and in real life makes writing such incredibly kinky porn about him just seem kind of weird. But hey, I managed it. I am a professional.

Anyway, reviews justify the madness, so chuck some at me.

And I don't own anything even vaguely Boosh related, with the exception of the DVDs and the book.


Daddy's Little Man

They were cuddled up in bed, having a bit of a snog in their pyjamas. Well, Howard's pyjamas, which they'd split between them. It was their preferred way of sleeping – Vince in his pants and Howard's pyjama top, which was far too big for him and looked more like a pinstriped, button up cocktail dress, and Howard in just the pyjama bottoms, and occasionally a vest if it was cold – not that they were sleeping much tonight.

They were kissing slowly, content to take their time just feeling each other. Vince pulled Howard on top of him, sighing happily as his boyfriend kissed down his neck, sucking what was sure to be quite a sizable love bite into his pale skin as a large hand slipped up his thigh. Vince was hardly aware of what was coming out of his mouth, not paying attention to anything but Howard's mouth, and Howard's hands, and Howard's warmth and weight on top of him, and Howard, oh Howard, just like that, Daddy, that's so good...

It all stopped rather abruptly. Vince opened his eyes and looked up to find Howard staring at him, clearly shocked.

"Did you just, erm..." Howard mumbled, awkwardly clearing his throat. "Did you just call me...?"

It took Vince a second to get what Howard was struggling to say, but when he did the embarrassment hit him like Frisbee to the face. "Oh God! I said that out loud, didn't I? Shit!"

Vince pushed Howard away before the other could say anything, turning away and curling up into the foetal position as he hide his bright red face behind his hair. He couldn't bear to look at Howard, he was so mortified.

"Hey, Vince, it's okay," Howard said gently.

"No, it's not!" Vince cried, his voice muffled against the pillow. "It's not okay, it's the opposite of okay! I'm so sorry, Howard, you must think I'm a right perv now, calling you that!"

"It's fine, Vince, really," said Howard, patting his embarrassed boyfriend's back comfortingly. "You've nothing to apologise for. It just... it took me by surprise, that's all. C'mon, love."

Vince slowly turned around to lie on his back, still looking anywhere but at his boyfriend. Howard reached over to turn the bedside lamp on, and Vince cringed away from the light – he looked horrible when he blushed, all blotchy and red, no one needed to see that.

"I don't mind," Howard said softly. "Really, Vince, I don't mind at all. It's just..."

"What?" Vince said, scared of what he might hear.

"Look, you don't have to explain yourself if you don't want to. I understand this is a bit of a touchy subject and everything, but y'know, I'm curious why you'd want to call me... that."

Vince finally looked at Howard. He was a bit pink around the ears, but at least he didn't look disgusted. That was something.

"Promise you ain't gonna laugh, or run away screaming in horror, or chuck me and never wanna speak to me again or anything?"

"I promise, little man."

Vince smiled a little bit, his stomach going all fluttery at that. "That's sort of the reason, actually. Y'know, you calling me 'little man' and that? You take such good care of me, Howard, you always have. And I love you for it, I really do. It feels so nice when you look after me. It sort of makes me feel like a little kid again, y'know? Like I'm just a nipper and you're this big, strong man here to protect me. I know it sounds well creepy because it's a sex thing, and I'm really sorry for freaking you out with all this. I mean, I'm not like a proper full on perv or anything. I don't wanna dress up as a baby and wear them big adult nappies like what OAPs wear or anything like that, that's well gross. I just... I..."

Vince seemed to run out of steam then, his words trailing off as his insides squirmed in embarrassment. Howard rested a hand on Vince's cheek, gently turning his face so they could look each other in the eye.

"What do you want, Vince? What would make you happy?"

"Being your little man makes me happy," Vince whispered. "And... calling you Daddy sometimes would make me happy. Being like a kid again and having you take care of me... that would make me really happy."

Howard smiled, stroking Vince's cheek and brushing a stray strand of hair out of his face. "Then that's what we'll do then. You know I'd do anything to make you happy, Vince."

Vince couldn't believe his luck. He grinned up at Howard, his big blue eyes full of gratitude. "Thanks, Howard. I love you loads, you know that, yeah?"

Howard moved his hand from Vince's face to his waist, pulling him close and whispering into his ear. "I know you do, little man. Daddy loves you too."

Arousal shot through Vince's body like a bolt of lightning. He shuddered against the bed, letting out a quiet whimper as Howard nibbled on his earlobe.

"Really?" he asked in a small voice, gasping as Howard's moustache tickled his skin.

"Of course, little man," Howard murmured, kissing Vince's neck. "Daddy loves you so much. You've the most precious, important thing in Daddy's life."

Vince sighed, his eyes fluttering closed. Howard moved the duvet out of the way to get a good look at him, and his cock swelled between his legs – Vince's slight little body, surprisingly hairy for someone so androgynous, all angles and sharp edges and pale, creamy skin, the oversized pyjama top making him look even smaller, the prominent bulge in his bright green Y-fronts, and his raven black hair a messy halo around his gorgeous face.

"Beautiful," Howard whispered, taking it all in. "You're the most beautiful boy in the world, Vincey. How did Daddy get so lucky?"

Vince smiled blissfully, his eyes still closed, as he brought his hand up to his mouth and started sucking his thumb. Howard groaned. This really was a lot sexier than it should have been. He reached up and pulled Vince's hand away, making the younger man open his eyes and whined in disappointment.

"If you really want to suck on something, I've got something much better than your thumb, little man."

Vince looked up with big, wide, naive eyes, and spoke in a soft purr, about an octave higher than his normal voice. "What is it, Daddy?"

"C'mere, my love." Howard rolled onto his back, bringing Vince with him. "Sit on Daddy's lap, there's a good lad."

Vince straddled Howard, hands resting on his bare chest. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth, nervously twisting a lock of hair around his finger as he looked shyly down at Howard. The outsized pyjama top slipped off one shoulder, showing off milky skin and the love bite from earlier beginning to bloom. Howard had never seen anything so sexy.

"Can I have a kiss, Daddy?" Vince asked sweetly.

"Of course, little man."

Vince smiled bashfully, leaning down to peck Howard tenderly on the lips. The kiss deepened slowly, Howard taking Vince's hand and placing it over his crotch. Vince let out an embarrassed little squeak.

"Is that what you want me to suck, Daddy?" Vince asked in a nervous whisper.

Howard nodded, thrusting up slightly as Vince rubbed his clothed cock.

"But Daddy, I dunno what to do," Vince said timidly, the innocence in his eyes surprisingly realistic. "You're gonna have to tell how."

"No problem, love."

Vince shifted down Howard body until he was down to his crotch, anxiously pulling down his pyjama bottoms and pants to reveal his swollen cock. Howard wrapped his hand around it, lifting it off his stomach to make it easier for Vince.

"Why don't you give it a kiss first, Vincey? To see what it tastes like?"

Vince smiled and nodded, leaning down and kissing the tip of Howard's cock. He giggled adorably and licked his lips. "Tastes yummy. Can I do it again, Daddy?"

"As many times as you want, sweetheart."

Vince grinned with excitement, and pressed another chaste kiss on the crown of Howard's cock. He let his lips travel lower and lower, before dragging his tongue all the way up the underside and making Howard shudder.

"Mmm, that's wonderful, Vince," he groaned, as the younger man continued to tease his cock with shy little kitten licks and kisses. "You're so good at that... such a good boy for me... do you think you're ready to suck it for me, love?"

Vince bit his bottom lip again, anxiously playing with his hair, and gave Howard a very earnest little nod. He lowered his head again, parting his lips as Howard gently pushed the head of his cock into his mouth. Vince wrapped his hand around the base, taking as much of Howard's impressive length into his mouth as he could before pulling back, sucking hard on the way up. Vince was actually very talented at blowjobs, but as he bobbed his head up and down, sucking and swirling his tongue, he looked up at Howard with his big blue eyes full of alarmingly convincing innocence and uncertainty.

Howard bit his lip as he watched Vince sucking him, the sight so sweet and incredibly sinful he could barely stand it. He stroked Vince's hollowed cheek and petted his hair, trying his best not to thrust upward into that glorious wet heat, even though he knew from past experience that Vince really didn't mind having his mouth fucked. This wasn't supposed to be about him – this was about Vince. Vince wanted to be taken care of, and it was Howard's job to do just that.

"That's enough, little man. Come up here and give Daddy another kiss."

Vince pulled off Howard's cock with an obscene sounding pop, and crawled back up to catch his lips in a soft kiss that quickly became filthy. Howard held Vince close, flipping them over with ease so that Vince was on his back. Vince moaned quietly at the display of strength. He wasn't exactly a weakling himself (he was a bit of a Cockney bruiser, to tell the truth, regardless of how flamboyantly he dressed), but he absolutely adored the fact that Howard was so much stronger than him, that he could carry him as if he weighed nothing and easily overpower him if he had to. It was kind of exciting.

"Turn around for me, little man," said Howard, sitting up and reaching over to the bedside cabinet. "Daddy wants to make you feel good now."

Vince did as he was told, letting Howard nudge his legs apart and push a pillow under his hips. Howard pulled Vince's little green pants off, popping open the half full bottle of lube in his hand. Vince turned his head, pushing his hair out of the way so he could look over his shoulder.

"What's that for, Daddy?"

Howard had to clear his throat before he could answer, still getting his head around this drastic role reversal. He was usually the novice when it came to sex. Vince was his one and only sexual partner, and had been pretty much telling him what to do from the start. But Vince's act of childish naivety was so convincing that it took Howard aback. He felt so protective, so in control, and it was a surprisingly nice feeling.

"This will make everything a bit easier for me, little man," he said, coating his fingers in lube and rubbing them together to warm them up."Easier for me to get into that tight hole of yours."

"But, Daddy," said Vince, the confusion in the voice just barely hiding his teasing purr. "You won't fit, will you? You're far too big. You only just fit into my mouth."

Howard chuckled. "You trust me, don't you, Vincey?"

"Of course I do, Daddy. More than anyone in the whole world."

"Good lad," Howard cooed, stroking a slick finger over Vince's puckered hole. "Daddy's gonna take good care of you, sweetheart, don't you worry."

Vince hissed as the lubed up finger pushed slowly into his hole, burying his face in the pillow but pushing back against Howard's hand. Howard continued as gently and carefully as he could, pushing just the one finger in and out until he was sure Vince was ready for more. The first finger was eventually joined by a second, twisting and scissoring and curling until it rubbed against just the right spot. Vince cried out in pleasure, his whole body shaking, and by the time Howard had three fingers working him open he was an incoherent mess.

"Do you think you're ready for me, sweetheart?"

"Ohh yes, Daddy, yes please, fuck me – AH!" The rest of Vince's pleading was cut off by a sudden smack on his arse cheek. A sudden smack that felt bloody amazing. He turned to look at Howard over his shoulder, unable to stop himself from smirking. "Daddy, what was that for?"

"Mind your language, young man," Howard said sternly, slowly removing his fingers from Vince's hole and rubbing his other hand over the area he had just spanked. "Little boys shouldn't be using such bad words."

"Sorry, Daddy," Vince said, pouting slightly. "I promise won't be naughty again."

"That's my boy. Turn around so Daddy can see his little man."

Vince did as he was told, the pyjama top riding up to reveal his hard cock leaking all over his stomach. Howard licked a strip up Vince's cock, lapping up the drops of pre-come before kissing up the length of his lover's body. He pushed the pyjama top further up so he could nibble and suck on Vince's hard nipples, flicking his tongue over the sensitive little nubs until Vince was moaning loudly and tugging on Howard's hair.

Howard held Vince's legs apart, positioning himself between them before very slowly pushing his erection into Vince's prepared hole. Vince hissed at the intrusion, but encouraged Howard not to stop until he was completely inside.

"How does that feel, little man?" Howard asked breathlessly, giving Vince time to adjust.

"Amazing," Vince whispered, wrapping his legs around Howard's waist. "You feel amazing, Daddy... please... please move..."

Howard started to move, slowly, so slowly that in no time Vince was squirming with impatience. But Howard didn't let up with his slow, teasing thrusts, holding Vince's hips down to keep him still.

"Please, Daddy, oh please go faster, please," Vince begged desperately.

"Patience, little man," Howard whispered into his ear, planting kissing down his neck.

Vince whined, practically sobbing with need as Howard fucked him as slowly as possible, filling him up so wonderfully but so torturously slow. One perfectly angled thrust and Vince was crying out louder than ever, dragging his fingernails down Howard's back. Howard tried to keep his slow movements up for as long as he possibly could, but his own arousal outweighed his desire to tease Vince and before he knew it he was fucking his little man hard and fast into the mattress with all his might.

Howard took both of Vince's wrists in one hand and pinned them above his head, whispering filth into Vince's ear as he stroked his lover's cock with his other hand.

"You feel so good, little man... so tight and hot around Daddy's cock... my beautiful Vincey... Daddy loves you so much, baby boy... Daddy loves being inside his baby so much... are you gonna come for me, little man?"

"Oh God, yes! Yes, Daddy! Ohh, Daddy, please don't stop!"

Vince felt his orgasm spread throughout his entire body, like a tidal wave crashing over him. His whole body shuddered as he let out a scream of "Daddy!" and came all over his stomach and Howard's hand. He felt like he was about to black out, especially as Howard continued to fuck him fast and deep until he finally came, filling Vince up with his release as he muffled the sound of his deep moans against Vince's neck.

Howard rolled off of Vince and collapsed on the bed, using what little energy he had left to clean them both up before throwing the duvet over them. Vince could barely move, he felt like his brain was very slowly putting itself back together, it was the most intense orgasm he had ever had in his life. He let Howard turn him on his side and spoon him from behind, sighing happily as his boyfriend kissed his cheek.

"Thanks, Howard," Vince finally said, once he'd figured out how to speak again. "That was genius."

"Don't mention it, Vince," said Howard, holding his exhausted boyfriend close. "Any time."

Vince chuckled sleepily. "Any time, eh? Is that a promise, Daddy?"

"Absolutely, little man."


Hope you enjoyed, Humble Readers, and that I didn't alarm anyone too much.

xxx