What will I do now? Now that I am alone? Everyone I loved had long since been killed off. Even myself. I was dead yet I was living. I was neither breathing nor a ghost. I was simply... here.
I was within the trees. I was within the soil. I was within the clouds and the flowers. I was within everything.
Yet, even with so many beautiful things surrounding me, I still felt utterly and completely alone.
But with as quickly as my loneliness had set in, it vanished when they had moved here. I was no longer alone. My presence went unnoticed but I was still never alone...
"As kami as my witness, I vow to cherish and to protect you for as long as I shall live. I shall forever remain by your side until the last moment. I will be your friend, your guardian, your lover and your family. I love you. Kagome Higurashi, as of today, you are my wife and my family. My heart is yours, as well as my life."
Those words were enough to bring tears to the young woman's eyes as she took a deep breathe before speaking. "Kaname Matsunagi, as of today, you are my husband and my family. My heart is yours, as well as my life."
"By the old Lords and Ladies, with kami as my witness, I wed thee. You are now partners for all of eternity. May they watch over you in your journey together. You may now kiss your bride." And so he had. As soon as Kaname's lips were upon Kagome's, the room erupted into cheers and applause. But all too soon, for their own liking, had the young newlyweds separated.
Slowly, yet surely, everyone was lead towards the reception area where Kagome was met with the first song she and Kaname had listened to together. Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden.
This little song was so big to the couple that it brought tears to both of theirs eyes as they just stared at each other. But soon Kaname started to sing along softly. "The highest powers, in lonely hours, the tears devour you. I want to stand with you on a mountain, I want to bathe with you in the sea, I want to stay like this forever... until the sky falls down on me." Before he could even continue, Kagome sang a bit of the song. "But can't you see it, baby? You don't have to close your eyes 'cause its standing right before you. All that you need will surely come."
Kaname lowered his head to rest his forehead against his wife's as a few tears of joy ran down her face.
"Would you care to dance, my love?" A pale hand was left outstretched or only a moment before grasped. "I would love to, koi."
"Inuyasha? Hello? Are you alright?" The hanyou had been sitting quietly on Kagome's couch for almost an hour now, just staring at his hands within his lap. Kagome was about to speak once again when he finally spoke. "I know... I know... I'm sorry." Now she was really confused. Inuyasha was never quiet and he never apologized... for anything... ever. "You're sorry? About what?"
When he looked up at her, she noticed his cheeks where stained pink and he had a glazed over look within his eyes. "The candy! The cherry liquor candy! Why... Why did I eat them all?" Inuyasha placed his hands over his face quickly as he sniffled a few times. "Inuyasha? Are you... crying?" "...Why? There were only a handful of that candy. It was for you."
A kind smile graced Kagome's soft, pink lips as she spoke her next words. "So you are drunk... Inuyasha, listen, I couldn't have eaten them anyway. So you did me a favor, thank you."
"A... favor? Why couldn't you eat them?" Now he looked angry that she would even think of turning down his gift for her. "Because, Inuyasha... " Her pale hand lay over her flat stomach as a naturally beautiful smile covered her lips, "I'm pregnant."
"You are?..." It took a good, full twenty minutes for the news to sink into the drunken hanyou. "I'm so happy for you! But I'm so mad! But I'm so sad! Am I bothering you? I'm bothering you. I'm sorry... I just... it was for you... I always make you upset... and now, you're angry. You will never forgive me... but wait... You're pregnant! Yay!"
Once again, Kagome smiled softly at the emotionally drunken man as she helped him to stand before leading him towards the kitchen. "Alright, big guy. Come on. Let me get you a glass of water. You'll be better in no time." Inuyasha sniffled a couple of times before nodding his head and following her. "Really? You're so nice... you're always so nice, Kagome... So nice... Why are you so nice- wow... you have really pretty hair."
The raven haired woman giggled quietly at herself from her friends random mood swings and attention span.
Kaname leaned towards his wife of only eight months and whispered playfully in her ear, "Ka-go-me... my beautiful wife... Ka-go-me..." She giggled quietly before leaning up to whisper softly in his ear in return, "Ka-na-me... my handsome husband... Ka-na-me..."
"You know... you're absolutely beautiful... even more so now than you had been on our wedding night." He mumbled soft to her as his hand slowly lowered to Kagome's very much round stomach. "I am noticing even more things now than I had then." Feeling the heat rise to her face, Kagome could bare even ask her question, "And... that would be things like what?"
"Your shorts..." he lowered his other hand, running his fingertips lightly over her smooth skin, causing her to shudder, before resting it on her hip. "They are too tight. And your smile..." He moved his hand up to her cheek, running his thumb along her lower lip slowly while speaking once again. "It's beautiful. Your hair... Your lips... your lips are... making me angry at myself." But as soon as he had spoken those words, no later had he kissed her with all the love he felt.
A two year old girl with chest length raven hair and beautiful amber eyes was running around her front yard as her mother was standing in front of her father. "Kagome..." His voice was just above a whisper but you could clearly hear the sadness hidden within it. "I swear to kami... if you get hurt..."
Trying to lighten the mood of her departure, Kagome interrupted with a faint smile gracing her lips. "Hey! It's not like I enjoy getting hurt." That comment caused the lovers to laugh bitterly. "Evidence suggests otherwise, my love."
"I can do this, Kaname. I'll get through it, no... we'll get through it. But I promise that I'll be as careful as I can." As the pair continued to stare at each other, a faint lining of tears coated their eyes. "Just stay in one piece, Kagome... I'd hate to have to resort to necromancy to heal you. Its an ugly sight unfitting for your beauty."
"Kaname... you know that I hate when you make necromancy jokes..." She whispered painfully while reaching her left hand out to grab his right one. "And I hate to see you die every two minutes yet you still rush into danger." With those words, a scowl took over Kaname's handsome face while only causing Kagome to smile bitter sweetly. "You should have gotten use to it by now, love..." "No."
"Don't get grumpy, you look so much better when you smile." Those words caused his eyes to soften ever so slightly. "Don't get flirty, you look so much better when your alive." That caused Kagome to laugh sorrowfully as she squeezed his hand lightly. "You're getting better at these comebacks of yours, Kaname..." Kaname quickly averted his eyes from hers to stare sadly at their daughter playing, his voice just barely above a whisper. "I can only hope that you get better at come backs."
"Wake up." A voice spoke harshly as if venom was laced with his words making the young woman cringe. "I am awake, Onigumo. It's not easy falling asleep here, you know. But I'm certainly not complaining about your hospitality towards me." The woman spat out sarcastically as she struggled against the shackles around her wrists. This only caused him to smirk, however, "You've been a very, very bad girl dear Kagome."
"So I've been told... quite frequently. Yet usually it works out quite well for me..." She mumbled, looking towards the ground to her left. "You are smart, Ka-go-me. You aren't that smart though. You cannot save anyone. You can't even save yourself. What makes you think you could possibly save these people? They are worthless, less than scum. At least as a sacrifice they manage to do something effective."
That was the very moment that Kagome snapped. Her eyes started to slowly lighten as her hair started to flow gracefully around her from the anger and power she was emitting. "Sacrifice? What the hell are you talking about? These are people you're talking about, you ass. Living, breathing, loving people. Since when is a person something to be sacrificed? If you need a sacrifice in the first place, think. You're probably doing something wrong already! Admit it, you're too lazy to actually work hard to achieve anyth-"
Kagome was abruptly silenced by a whip cracking against her skin, first her cheek then her shoulder and then her stomach. "NO!" Naraku had seemed to notice that she favored her stomach and could only assume that she was with child once again. So he used it.
Another crack and cry of pain filled the otherwise silent room. Seeing the tears and sorrowful look within her eyes, Naraku hit her one last time before leaving her crying form on the floor. She couldn't even calm or comfort herself by touching her stomach. He wouldn't allow that... not one bit. Not any comfort for her.
Dull hazel eyes opened slowly to stare up a plain white ceiling. They scanned the room that the owner was within before said person spoke. "Where... am I?" A maid hurriedly went into the room to see the young woman sitting up in bed and staring out the window. Her raven locks flowing down her back gracefully before the tips rested on the bed while her eyes held a painful sorrow to them.
"Lady Kagome, you are awake!" She rushed to her side and went to reach for Kagome but was only swatted away. When the miko's eyes landed on the demon, she only stared blankly, almost as if searching her soul. "Where is my husband?" "L - Lord Kaname should be returning shortly, milady."
"Leave me..." "B - But, milady! Your bandages need to be changed. I need to-" "Are you deaf, youkai? I said leave!" The tone of her voice was enough to make the timid demon flinch before she bowed and quickly scurried out of the room.
It was only a few hours later that her husband had returned home. Not once had she moved from her position on the bed though. Her eyes held back tears as she heard his voice. "Where is she? Is she wake now? Kago-"
Kaname stared in shock as his wife was slowly stroking her stomach. "K - Kagome... did he..." Slowly, her eyes shifted to stare at him now. And then he saw it. He saw the broken look within her eyes. She wanted to tell him but couldn't bring herself to voice it. So she settled for their bond instead... "I was pregnant... and he killed our child... Kaname... Naraku killed your unborn child." As soon as he had heard that, Kaname's eyes widened greatly.
The only thing telling him that it was true were the tears that started falling from her eyes and running down her cheeks.
Kaname was still in denial. He locked himself in his study, rarely seeing his wife. Whenever he did see her, she seemed so cold. But wasn't that normal? She was tortured, her child was ripped away from her by a monster and she was forced to suffer the pain alone because her husband couldn't stand seeing her without feeling the same pain.
It was only then that he walked passed the window of his study to stare down at their front yard, had he noticed how distant they had become. There his beautiful wife was, sitting underneath the cherry blossom tree, their five year old daughter trying to get her to play only to be denied each time.
"You should play with her... Chizuru missed her mother." Kagome's eyes lifted to stare blankly at him before continuing to deny their child.
It was only a couple of days later that Kagome could feel eyes burning into her back and had enough. "What do you want, Kaname. Why do you constantly stare at me now?" "Are you alright, with losing our child?"
Kagome's eyes only widened a fraction before returning to normal. "I have dealt with worse." He took steps towards her, expecting her to move but she had just stayed there like a statue. "Do you hurt now?" Kaname placed his hands on either of her shoulder's and saw how she visibly flinched.
"I am not in pain... I am just... numb." She admitted hesitantly. Almost as if she was afraid to touch him, her hands rested atop of his own as a few tears glossed over her eyes. "You should get some sleep, koi... tomorrow will be a long day."
Kaname's hands left her shoulders as he turned to walk away but was stopped by a pale and shaking hand grabbing his wrist. "I... I don't want to sleep..." Kaname furrowed his brows in confusion. "Kagome... no one will attack you. I swear." Taking a deep breathe, Kagome tried to piece her words together carefully before she proceeded to speak. "No, you don't understand... I feel like..."
She quickly averted her eyes and stared at the marble ground. "I feel as though once I close my eyes, I'll sleep and... when I wake up again... I'll be right back there... in that cell again." Seeing his eyes soften once she looked back at him, allowed her to continue. "I don't want to close my eyes, Kaname. Its cold and dark when I close my eyes... and its filled with so much pain... I am sorry. Forget it... I need to control myself."
This time, when it was her turn to leave, a pair of pale arms stopped her by wrapping around her waist. "Kagome..." Upon his contact, Kagome's tears started to flow freely from her eyes. "I always put everyone around me in danger. This is unacceptable... I need to... I..." Kagome was turned around and came face to face with her husband. His eyes were unclear to read but the look on his face seemed so familiar yet distant to her. He hadn't looked at her that way in so long.
"I think we have waited long enough..." With those words said, Kaname leaned down to place his lips against hers in a soft kiss. Slowly, he pulled Kagome against him, their bodies touching again after so long of being separated.
But my happiness had never lasted long... Days turned to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years. Pretty soon they had all passed away or simply left... and just like before, I was alone again.
As I leaned down to run my pale fingertips along the surface of a dying flower, my golden locks of hair blew around me as if dancing with the wind. Yes, I was alone again... but I had not been forgotten. I could never be forgotten. No matter how cruel of a place the world could be, one could never forget the beauty within it.
And that is what I was. The beauty of such a bittersweet lie. I am called many things... A goddess, a demon, a sprite, I have even been called an angel. But my real name was one that only the rare breed had ever thought to think of.
I am simply... life. I am only a beautiful lie that gives people a misleading hope.
Just as my fingertips left the fragile petals of the sunflower, my sun kissed hazel eyes turned to stare up at the setting sun as I slowly waned away. The petals slowly fell, and the surrounding field seemed as though nothing had happened. As though no one was there.
No one really was. Fore life comes and goes... so does the loneliness.
