The scene when Joker gets taken. This is a test. If you want, I will continue the story with this as a prologue.


"No messages for you, Commander."

Commander John Shepard nodded and traversed the short distance between the lift and the Galaxy Map. As he began to plot a new destination, Joker's voice boomed over the intercom.

"Hey Commander, good news. Looks like the Reaper IFF is finally online and ready to go." Joker said from his seat in the cockpit.

EDI, the ship's onboard AI popped up next to Joker. [That is not entirely accurate Mr. Moreau. The device is powered, but it is causing some unusual instability in other systems. I recommend a more thorough analysis before we attempt to use it.]

They were referring to the small innocent-looking device that Shepard, Tali'Zorrah Vas'Neema, and Garrus Vakarian had retrieved from the derelict reaper a few days earlier, along with an enigmatic geth EDI had jokingly named "Legion". Tali wasn't too happy with the decision to keep it.

What a pessimistic program, Joker thought. Joker pretended to ignore EDI, but Shepard knew from experience that it was better safe than sorry.

"Better safe than sorry with this tech." Shepard said finally "We'll take the shuttle for this trip." He began punching in coordinates for the planet Aequitas. The mining facility there had gone silent, and Elanus Risk Control had sent a tentative request for aid.

"I'll make sure we're up and running when you get back." Joker promised.

"Commander, it's Miranda. I've already notified the team. We'll meet you on the shuttle. Once we're closer to our destination, you can decide who to take with you." Shepard's XO Miranda Lawson said.

"I'll meet you at the shuttle then." Shepard agreed. He nodded for Yeoman Kelly Chambers to leave her station to check on the engineers' work with the IFF (Identify Friend or Foe). "Joker, the ship is yours. Try not to scratch the paint."

"Aye, aye, Commander."

Shepard stood just inside the hatch as the last few stragglers came onboard the shuttle. Tali and Kasumi were already in the cockpit prepping the systems.

Miranda climbed onboard and exchanged a brief loving glance with Shepard. Mordin, the salarian doctor, followed and scratched his head before putting a few notes on his omni-tool to ask Shepard about later.

Jacob was the last, and Shepard helped him aboard as the hatch door closed.

The Kodiak shuttle flew out of the hangar and off into the black. "It's funny." Shepard murmured as he checked his Avenger Assault Rifle "I keep on getting this feeling…like someone's crawling on my grave." But the feeling passed, and the shuttle continued.


Engineer Kenneth Donnelly sipped a bit of his iced Coke as Gabriella Daniels, his co-worker and long-time friend walked up to him with a pad of the most recent scans of the IFF.

In the crew quarters, Crewman Rolston glanced at a holo of his wife and daughters.

In the cockpit, Joker sat sifting through data. EDI was being annoying, as usual. "I'm telling you for the tenth time EDI, your readings are off. It's radiation bleed…just white noise." Joker said.

EDI popped up next to him. [I have detected a signal embedded in the static…we are transmitting the Normandy's location.] A scan of the signal appeared on Joker's main monitor. She was right.

Joker scratched his chin. "Transmitting? To who?" He immediately wished that he hadn't said it. Almost instantaneously, the lights and monitors flickered before coming back online.

Emerging from a Mass Effect corridor, the bizarre Collector Cruise stopped right on top of the Normandy.

"Oh shit…" Joker murmured. The Collector Cruiser drew closer to the Normandy, blotting out the light from the nearby sun.

Down in Engineering, the crew sensed something was wrong. "Joker, what was that?" Engineer Donnelly asked urgently. "What's going on?"

Joker was too busy frantically typing in commands. "We're getting out of here." He said. None of his commands went through. It was as if the system didn't even know he was there.

[Propulsion systems are disabled. I am detecting a virus in the ship's computers.]

The crew in Engineering sensed something was wrong. Donnelly immediately ordered them to grab the rifles off the rack. He handed them out as fast as he could. Finally, he took the last one, leaped over a railing, and ran through the doors to Engineering to join the rest of the crew. Loud ominous banging was coming from the Starboard Cargo Hold.

"From the IFF? Damn it, why didn't you scrub it?" Joker cried.

[Primary Defense Systems are offline. We can save the Normandy, Mr. Moreau, but you must help me…give me the ship.]

Joker let out a cry of disbelief. "What?-You're crazy! You start singing 'Daisy Bells' and I'm done!" The ship was rocked and there was another loud banging.

[Unlock my sealed databases and I can initiate countermeasures. The maintenance shaft in the Science Lab will allowed passage to the AI Core. Main Corridors are no longer safe…the Collectors have boarded.]

Joker painfully stood up. Even with his artificial legs, walking was still a pain sometimes. Running was impossible.

[The emergency floor lighting will guide you, Mr. Moreau.]

"Ah…damn it!" Joker cursed as he began making for the CIC.


Crew members and security staff were already positioning themselves by the lift. They too had heard EDI's conversation with Joker and were prepared to give their lives to delay the Collectors until Joker completed his mission. "Shit, shit, shit." Joker muttered.

As he shuffled past the hologram of the Normandy, the lift doors suddenly opened to reveal a Praetorian, one of the flying husk-beings. It began emitting a high-pitched wail.

"Oh my god…what is that?" Crewman Goldstein stuttered, bringing up her rifle to fire. Crewman Hadley, cradling a grenade launcher, glanced at Joker, who had stalled.

"Move it! We'll hold it off for as long as we can!" Hadley ordered. The Praetorian suddenly leaped forward with inhumane speed and threw Goldstein to the ground. Hadley, who stood behind her, fired off a grenade in vain, which only paused the Praetorian for a moment.

"Hurry Joker…GO!-AARRGHHH!" The Praetorian grabbed Hadley and threw him over the railing into the Normandy hologram.

"You're our only shot, Joker, go!" Matthews yelled, firing at the Praetorian alongside the last security officer. The door to the Science Lab shut just as the Praetorian whirled around to face them.

Joker shuffled along, passing the Research Station and Mordin's work table. Suddenly, a Praetorian appeared outside the window, in the Engine Core. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" Joker cursed, quickly climbing down the ladder, glancing once fearfully behind him before he disappeared into the dark.


Joker emerged in the Life Support room. Crewman Hawthorne stood by the door, a pistol in his hands. [Multiple hostiles detected on the crew deck.] EDI said.

"Joker, this deck is crawling with those things! Stay close-I'll protect you!" He ran out the door with Joker following close behind.

Joker winced as Yeoman Chambers screamed in terror while a Scion dragged her into the lift, where two pods sat, already full. Suddenly, Hawthorne, who had run around a corner, came flying backwards and hit the ground. Joker fearfully continued, the Scion that had incapacitated Hawthorne already moving towards the Forward Batteries. "Shit, shit, shit!" The Scion was across the deck, but didn't see him.

The door to the Medical Lab opened, and Joker found it torn apart. Sparks flew and instruments and equipment lay strewn around. Doctor Chakwas was nowhere to be found. The lights flickered momentarily. "What the shit?" Joker cursed again as he reached the door to the AI Core.

[Main fusion plant offline. Activating emergency H-fuel cells.]

Joker entered into the cool dark confines of the AI core. "Alright…I'm…uh…at you." He said nervously. EDI's software banks surrounded him. It was…uncomfortable.

EDI popped up behind him. [Connect the core to the Normandy's primary control module.] She instructed.

Joker began typing in commands while muttering under his breath. "Great…see, this is where it starts, and when we're all just organic batteries, guess who they'll blame?" He snorted "This is all Joker's fault. What a tool he was. I have to spend all day computing pi because he plugged in the Overlord." He finished typing in the commands.

EDI's hologram shot out, expanding and passing over Joker as she connected with the ship. There was a brief moment of silence, and then the lights in the AI core lit up. EDI's voice came from the intercom. [Ah. I have access to the defensive systems. Thank you, Mr. Moreau. Now you must reactivate the primary drive in engineering.]

Joker growled. "Argh, you want me to go crawling through the ducts again."

[I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.] Joker raised his eyebrows.

[That is a joke.]

"Right." Joker said sarcastically. He turned around and climbed down the shaft that led to the engineering deck.


Sweating profusely under his cap, Joker emerged in the engineering sub-level, right by Jack's little "hidey-hole". He made to follow the emergency floor lights when EDI suddenly spoke.

[Hostiles are present in engineering. They are headed towards the cargo hold.] Joker cautiously moved forward until he was at the base of the stairs. He was frozen with fear. On the wall in front of him, he could see the eerie shadows of a Scion marching slowly across the walkway. He had a clear view of the outline of its bulbous head and the rifle appendage on its arm. It was like the beast from hell.

Following the Scion was a pod. Probably one of the engineers, Joker thought. Finally, a Collector brought up the rear. As soon as the trio had disappeared, Joker scampered up the stairs, tripping halfway, and stumbled into engineering.

[Engineering is clear of hostiles. Proceed immediately to minimize chances of detection.] Joker limped to the console. There was no sign of the crew, save for a dropped M-8 Avenger and two pads.

[Activate the drive and I will open the airlocks as we accelerate. All hostiles will be killed.] Joker nearly had a heart-attack when he heard what EDI was suggesting.

"What?" He exclaimed "What about the crew?" There had to be someone still alive.

[They are gone, Jeff. The Collectors took them.] The words rung hollow in Joker's ears. Everybody…taken. He was alone…all alone. He had failed.

"Shit." He whispered. But he still had a job to do. Once the primary drive was online, he limped into the engine room.

[I am sealing the engine room.] Joker tried to ignore the thumping of his heart as he activated the drive. There was a flash of blue light as the giant sphere lit up. [I have control.]

The Normandy's FTL drives lit up as it sped away from the Collector ship, spilling air and bodies as it disappeared into a Mass Effect corridor. Joker yelped as he was thrown to the ground by the sudden acceleration. He hit his head and everything went black.


Joker awoke to the hum of the engine. Everything sounded so…normal. Was it all a dream? Then he heard EDI's voice.

[Purge is complete. No other lifeforms on board. Securing airlocks and cargo bay doors.]

Joker struggled to stand up. He shook his head wearily and let out a sigh. It was silent. He was alone in the confines of the engine room. Everyone was captured, and it was because of him. If he had listened to EDI earlier…

But there was still Shepard. How was he to tell him that he lost the crew and nearly the ship? Why didn't Shepard leave some of the team onboard? He left them in the middle of nowhere without the aid of his team! But…he could have asked Shepard to leave some of the crew onboard instead of arguing with EDI.

"Send a message to Shepard's shuttle." Joker said finally. He limped away, towards the lift "Tell him what happened."

[Message away. Are you feeling well, Jeff?] Joker hesitated before continuing his lonely limp through the corridors. He sniffed and rubbed his eyes.

"No. But thanks for asking…"


Please R & R!

Tell me if I should continue the story.