A/N~ Ok so in order to help with my writers block on my other fic I started this one and so far it's helping a lot. Let me know what you think of this. Yes it will be Sterek, if you don't like, if you do read and don't approve, too bad. It's called freedom of speech or writing in this case. Yes for you English Lit majors I am butchering the Bard's prose. Sorry but since he was probably on of the first spoofers I don't think he would complain. Let me know what you think. ~A

To Be Or Nogitsune-

To be or Nogitsune

That is the question.

Whether tis nobler in the mind

To suffer the fox demon.

The slings and arrows of Allison~

Chapter 1

Stiles screamed himself awake and was glad his father is at work right now. Though still receiving physical therapy for the gunshot wound, John Stilinski had returned to work. Still suffering from stiffness and the more than occasional muscle spasm, the Sheriff was back on the job. Not because he wanted to be but because he needed to be. Their financial woes were not however why Stiles muscles were ever so slowly relaxing from their own form of tautness.

He was slowly calming down from another one of those dreams, the lovely dreams of the noisome variety and yes sir that was most definitely sarcasm. Eyes that he had no doubt were developing dark circles under, stare blearily at his old digital alarm clock. 3:29 a.m.

With a sigh, the teen pulled himself out of bed and proceeded to pull on running shorts and a tank top, before adding his trainers. He put the training backpack on, smaller than his school backpack, it had stronger shoulder straps, compartments inside filled with lead weights, mountain ash and mistletoe vials, a silver dagger and as well as two 21 inch expandable batons. Several strips of reflective tape and little lights attached to a battery pack inside. He and Lydia had worked it up when she found out he had taking up running at night

Because as she had said, "Stiles running at night? That's just asking for something to happen." She was currently working on a better prototype to maybe patent and sell. Of course neither of them ever talked about why Stiles ran at night, alone, all over Beacon Hills. The fact that she was the only one who even knew he did it, well that was typical lately.

Kira tried, but let's face it Scott was her boyfriend and her first loyalty was to him. Lydia had agreed to keep it from Jordan cause to be honest Stiles was pretty sure that the deputy would tell his boss the Sheriff. Stiles couldn't fault him for being loyal to his dad in fact he was grateful for it. At east his father had someone he could rely on watching his back, in this town that was saying something.

As for Scott, well his brother in everything but blood was actively avoiding him. Melissa didn't even bother to lie to Stiles anymore because he had taken to calling her out on the lying, and let's face it she felt guilty lying to the boy she considered another son. Issac, Danny, and Jackson had not returned from their respective sojourns out into the world. Although he missed Danny and to a certain degree Jackson, he was almost certain that it was healthier for him if Issac stayed away for a while.

Liam of course was more concerned with what, his Alpha, his brother wanted. Although Stiles had practically bitten his tongue out when he had heard the pair refer to each other as brothers, he had managed to say nothing about the betrayal he felt. He figured after what had happened to Allison he owed Scott that much. Though it had hurt on an almost soul deep level. The fact that the younger man was currently dating Malia, didn't really improve the situation or his mood.

Then of course there was Derek. Then teen sighed as he added the ten pond weight to the backpack. The elder werewolf and only remaining Hale in Beacon Hills, wasn't actually in Beacon Hills. When they had left Mexico, Derek had driven off to heaven knew where with Braeden. Since Derek's defection a huge padlock had appeared on the door to the industrial style building that housed the loft.

Barred from their former meeting place, the Pack what there was of it, now met at Scott's house. Something that Stiles had a feeling his best friends mom wasn't exactly thrilled about, Although he had overheard a conversation between his dad and Scott's mom, she did confess to being glad that at least this way she was kind of in the loop about what was going on.

Stiles didn't tell the parents that they were still mostly out of the loop. The small pack of skin walkers who had come through town a couple of weeks ago for instance. The group of five skin walkers were basically looking for some fresh young skins, and yes that was just as disgusting and disturbing as it sounded.

Their respective parents had no idea that the skin walkers had been met by the so-called McCall Pack. That once again Scott had ignored the plan that Stiles had made and that the Pack had all agreed to, to come up with something off the cuff. Everyone else was out of the loop, Scott did whatever Scott did with Liam having his own little attack mode thing. The end result being Lydia and Kira both being injured severely, and it had taken all Stiles could give to work to heal the two girls. As it was Lydia still moved less gracefully then normal and Kira was still walking with a limp.

Scott still considered the whole thing to have been a brilliant success on his part. When he had come up to give Stiles a high five, the only thing that saved him from the punch Stiles threw was his werewolf reflexes as it was he tripped over Liam's feet and they both went down in the pool of blood that came from both girls. There was the reason for the current impasse the Pack found themselves in.

Stiles decided to do cross-country style instead of along the streets and roads of Beacon Hills. He took shortcuts across yards, through alleys and finding whatever short cuts he could. Even going over roofs for part of the run. When he got to some of the older buildings though he headed back down to street level. Falling through a roof oe time was all it took to figure out when to quit while he was ahead.

He ran around the track of the high school a couple of times, then around the lacrosse field once, just for old times sake. Stiles had changed from lacrosse to track and field for the new school year. Yet another reason apparently for his old pal Scott to feel betrayed. Stiles had never been great at lacrosse, he had his moments but he had finally figured out where he excelled was running.

He figured all the monsters du jour chasing you was a really great motivational tool. He would totally recommend it to the various teams. If only there wasn't the maiming, bloodshed, and potential for death involved, their times would improve drastically he was sure of it.

Stiles snorted as he left the school yard behind and headed into the Preserve. The full moon was still a couple of weeks away. Plus there was the fact that even the things that went bump in the night were no doubt deep in their beds asleep at this hour.

Stretching out his hand, he ran his fingers over the barrier, enjoying the light show it caused as a rainbow of light and sparks flew from his fingers. Stiles had made the disks in shop class as a special project to prove that aluminum and palladium could be mixed. Course he didn't tell the instructor how many of the little bricks he had made. Over 500,000 of the little things, he also neglected to mention that he had included a few things in the mix, crushed tourmaline for instance.

Things that would protect the area within from anything with evil intent. The Preserve was protected, every Pack members house, and the Sheriff's station and his dad didn't know it but his cruiser. Parrish's cruiser, Lydia's car, Scott's bike, his Beauty of course. When he said every Pack members residence he met everyone including he absentee Derek. Stiles skidded and slid down the slope to the industrial building that housed the former Alpha's loft.

It had taken the teen, the remainder of school year, the entire summer holiday and twelve weekends worth of work to bury all of the tiny bricks and hide them in each individuals cars. Usually in the seat cushions, a fact that made him grateful to his mother for discovering that her hyperactive child was actually interested in sewing and having the patience to teach him.

Slowing to a walk the teen cooled down as he walked to the entrance to the industrial building. He stretched for a few minutes listening out for any unusual sounds, scented the air for anything odd. Not that he had the senses of say a werewolf but he's like to think he had visited this place often enough since Derek's abandonment that he would recognize anything out of place.

As he studied everything he casually checked out a black rock near the entrance and noted the layer of dust that sat there. He stares at it for several minutes, the feeling that crashes down on him enough to literally rock him where he stood. He is glad at that moment that there aren't ny werewolves around at the moment. He knew he would reek of despair. Closing his eyes for a moment the teen worked hard to get his emotions his fears under control.

When he was finally ready Stiles pulled the chain from around his neck and

unlocked the padlock. He climbed the stairs slowly, his former depression settling back into place. Stiles kept listening, actually hoping to hear something out of place. Wanting to hear the shuffle of feet, a creak of a board, anything to show that the loft was actually inhabited.

Wanting to smell the scent of sweat, trees, and earth, as well as a unique musk. One he recognized as Derek. Of course he didn't have the senses of a werewolf so if a werewolf were here, Derek or someone else, his human senses wouldn't have known anyway.

There was nothing. Stiles felt his eyes burn and shook his head and rubbed his eyes slightly, convincing himself it was lack of sleep that was behind it. Not missing a certain former Alpha. Stiles snorted with self loathing as he trudged up the stairs and drew a deep breath before pulling the door back. The large table was still in place in front of the window.

He had laughingly asked the former Alpha one time if he owned a glass company or at least stock in one. As many times in the past several years as they had to replace the glass in the windows and skylights because the latest big nasty had broken through them to get to members of the Pack. Derek had actually laughed and admitted, "No, but it's worth looking into."

Stiles smiled a little shakily as he closed the loft door behind him. He walked over to the unmade bed left in the loft. The same sheets as when the older man had left. He concentrated on the side of the bed that he knew Derek had slept on. After he had recovered from being a teen again but was still losing his wolf because of Kate's machinations, but before he had started the relationship with Braeden. Stiles had actually managed to sneak in on the older man. Even then Stiles had been suffering from insomnia and had played stalker to the man he was honest enough to admit he was obsessed with.

The relationship with Braeden had severely curtailed the teens intense observations of all things Derek, but it didn't stop the emotions. The boy dropped his backpack beside the bed and putting the pillow to his face as he sat on the side of the bed, Stiles inhaled the lingering scent deeply.

Fishing his cell out of the backpack, Stiles set the alarm for 30 minutes and laid it back on the floor. Then kicking off his trainers he laid back on the bed, curled his body around the pillow protectively and was almost instantly asleep.

When the alarm went off half an hour later, the teen reluctantly rose and slid his trainers back on. Sliding his phone back into the pocket where it had been before, Stiles stood and headed back to the loft door. Thirty minutes was all he allowed himself on these nightly visits. One thousand eight hundred seconds of release and relief without the nightmares, the tension, the dark emotions that had plagued him, since the fox demon.

He drew a deep sigh as he walked out the door and pulled it closed behind him. Yes he had figured out what the Yukimura's hadn't told him and perhaps they really didn't know that what had possessed him wasn't a spirit so much as a demon. The demon was a leader of the kitsune until he decided to lead a rebellion. The other kitsune threw him into the void as punishment.

A flash of lightning, followed a little too closely by a clap of thunder drew the teen out of his thoughts and back into the hear and now. The dark roiling clouds in the sky were soon backlit by another bolt of lightning. Stiles picked up his pace and made it back home just in time.

There was no misting or sprinkling of rain first as a warning, just one minute Stiles was running though threatening weather. The next he was just inside the front door of his house, with sheets of rain hitting the ground so hard you actually saw it bounce back into the air about two feet. The teen sent a whoosh of air through his lips gratefully and locked the door behind him before climbing the stairs to his room.

Although leery of sleeping because of the nightmares, Stiles decided he would try and sleep for a couple more hours. After all he really did need to get into a better sleep schedule for school. The teen found himself falling rather easily into a surprisingly deep, dreamless sleep.

The alarm he set went of the next morning and Stiles reached to turn it off. He grunted tiredly and realized that even though he hadn't had any bad dreams he actually felt more tired than when he had come back from visiting the loft. Stiles wobbled down the stairs to make himself some toast, the teen was working on a pot of coffee when his father got home.

"Hey dad, want a cup" Stiles asked as his father came through the door.

"Half a cup, maybe. I plan on catching as much rack time as possible in the next twelve then heading back in," John Stilinski told his son as he added a couple of slices of bread to the toaster after Stiles had pulled his toast out. Pulling some juice out of the fridge and sweetening his fathers coffee, Stiles made them a little impromptu breakfast.

John studied the teen as he moved around the kitchen and said, "I'd ask how you slept but you look only slightly less dazed and confused than a zombie."

"Gee thanks Dad, Really feeling the love here," Stiles responded giving his dad a wan smile. "I thought I might go back to bed. Try to catch up on some sleep."

The older man nodded before saying, "Still having some trouble sleeping?"

"Actually, I don't seem to have trouble getting to sleep. It's more staying asleep and actually getting rest, that seems to be the problem." Seeking to change the subject the teen asked his father, "Is is still raining out there?"

"Actually it stopped a little while ago, still overcast though, and of course the rain cooled down the Indian summer heat a bit. Kind of wish it hadn't stopped though. Nothing like the sound of rain to help you sleep." His father said as he downed the rest of the coffee in is mug.

The Seriff gave his son a one-armed hug before heading upstairs for a shower and hopefully at least eight good hours of sleep. Stiles finished his own breakfast and rinsed the dishes before setting them in the dishwasher he was about to climb nto the bed when he remembered he was supposed to meet Lydia at her house to get her Calc book since his had kind of gotten damaged from the fight with the skin walkers.

Apparently skin walker guts and goo was very hard to get out of book bindings. Who knew…okay better yet who would even want to know. Sighing tiredly Stiles went back upstairs to is room and rummaged in his laundry basket to find the jogging clothes he had worn last night. He pulled them out and grimaced in disgust as he found something soaking wet in his hamper.

He thought back as a scowl came to his face, trying to figure out his clothes would be soaked. Had he taken a shower last night and just refused to remember it…and forgot to take off his clothes for it. He reached for his trainers and went from confused to downright terrified, when he discovered that the shoes were also soaked through.

Quickly putting on some fresh, dry clothes and putting on an older pair of tennis shoes. Stiles grabbed his wallet, cell phone and the cars to his Baby and headed downstairs to drive over to Lydia's.

The strawberry blond was actually outside in her bikini top and shorts, giving her dog a bath. Stiles said affectionately baiting his former crush, "You know you could have done that just a few hours ago and probably not even have to worry about the water restrictions."

"Yeah, yeah, well I slept through the rain and let the dog out this morning. Prada decided to get a mud bath, while he was out so now he gets a real one before he gets anywhere near my room again."

"Don't want to bother you but I came to borrow your Calculus book to do my homework if you don't mind." he said sheepishly.

"Oh yeah, sure," the girl said. "It should be up on my desk. Do me a favor though. Don't lose my bookmarks?"

"Sure, sure Stiles said readily enough before going into the back of the house through the French doors. He left his trainers by the back door and headed u the stairs to Lydia's room. He retrieved the book and headed back out the way he had come, he chatted with Lydia for a few minutes longer, then left.

He was driving back to his house, when is mind went back to the mystery of the wet clothes and shoes. It was when he had put the Jeep in park that he realized he hadn't made it to his destination. He found himself outside of the Loft again.

"Yeah, this can't be a good sign." Stiles said as he threw himself out of the Jeep and headed to the front door. He didn't look around suspiciously this time and barely spared a glance for the dusty black rock. Stiles unlocked the front door and ran u the stairs two at a time.

The puddle of rain water standing in front of the loft door sent a chill down the teen's spine. Carefully avoiding the standing water he pulled the loft door open. The loft looked much as it did when he had left it this morning, the dust still remained on the floor, grime on the windows, the bed was still rumpled. His computer sitting on the large table was new and disturbing as the boy distinctly remembered it being on his desk last night when…well both times that he had gone to bed last night.

He walked over and opened the computer to have the screen light up and his own face drawing back from the video camera.

The eyes were his but darker, the face was his but paler. Stiles felt his knees weaken as he grabbed for the edge of the table. As his own voice spoke to him,

"Stiles, I want to tell you I'm back. The reason that I'm telling you this is to let you know something I've realized. The fox isn't usually a Pack animal, but we can be family oriented. Your Pack is your family to you, so they will be to me as well. We'll talk again, if you'd like." With that the computer screen froze on the final image of the video clip.

Stiles feels his knees go out from under him as he slid to the floor, leaning against the leg of the table. It was back, the fox demon, was back. As Stiles looked over at the rumpled bed that Derek had once slept in, he wished for the missing wolf to come back more than ever.

He was terrified that he was possessed again and he had no one he could talk to about it. Because if he told anyone they would probably think he was crazy or for those who knew the truth they would think he was possessed again. Only Derek might understand, the teen was sure of it. "Where are you Derek?" He said desperately as he rubbed his fingers back along his scalp and back through his short hair.