"Alright, monsters," Ted told Penny and Luke, as they exited the bathroom. "Breath test!"
"Daaaaaaaad," whined 9-year-old Penny. "Do we have to do this every night?"
"Pretty much," Ted told her. "Get!"
She stomped her feet in his direction, Luke mimicking her steps right behind her. He took a whiff of his eldest's breath, and then that of his 6-year-old son, satisfied. They had gotten into the habit of rushing through the teeth-brushing process, which resulted in a few cavities each during their last visit to the dentist. So Ted was punishing them by doing a breath check every night. He figured they'd get annoyed (which it seems they have) and learn their lesson soon enough. "You guys are in the clear. Bedtime, let's go."
The kids each had their own room but, since Tracy's absence, they'd been sleeping in the same bed in Penny's room. Luke particularly took comfort in his big sister's presence.
They crawled under the covers, cuddling close, Luke squeezing his teddy bear in his arms.
"I miss mom," said Luke in a sleepy voice.
Ted sighed and smiled sadly. "Me too, bud," he said, reaching in his back pocket for his phone. "It's time for your goodnight song, guys."
He searched his phone for what he was looking for: the music file titled "La Vie en Rose". He hit 'play', and the familiar strums of a ukelele rang out of the tiny speaker. And then, Tracy's beautiful voice followed:
Hold me close and hold me fast
The magic spell you cast
This is la vie en rose
When you kiss me heaven sighs
And though I close my eyes
I see la vie en rose.
When you press me to your heart
I'm in a world apart
A world where roses bloom
And when you speak, angels sing from above
Everyday words seem to turn into love songs
Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be la vie en rose.
The song captivated him every time, no matter how often he heard it. It transported him to a time long ago, when he and Tracy were both much younger, when he first heard a mystery woman with the most beautiful voice in the world sing out the Edith Piaf classic on the other side of the balcony wall.
Their kids were equally charmed and comforted by this song, a bedtime ritual. Ted was glad that Tracy recorded a version for the kids before she went away. It was the only way they could get to sleep sometimes.
"Alright, guys," Ted said, putting his phone back in his pocket. "I love you both." He leaned down and kissed Penny on her forehead, then Luke.
"Love you, dad," they said in scattered unison. Every time he heard them say those words in their sweet, innocent voices, it tugged at his heartstrings.
"No funny business," Ted warned them. "It's late, and you have school in the morning. Goodnight. Sleep tight," he said, as he turned off the lights.
"Don't let the bed bugs bite!" they yelled out in the darkness. What followed were fits of childish giggles.
Ted chuckled as he shut the door behind him, amazed at the great kids he and Tracy produced, no matter how rambunctious—and exhausting—they could be at times.
Ted made his way downstairs, through the empty house, and into the den. He picked up a few toys and books that Luke had left scattered across the floor and tossed them into their storage bins. Satisfied, he plopped down on the sofa, ready to zone out in front of the TV for an hour or two. There wasn't much to do in the evenings since he was alone.
He turned it on to Dancing with the Stars, slightly in disbelief that it was still wildly popular after 38 seasons. And yet, he still watched. If Tracy could see him now, she'd be shaking her head.
An hour later, just as Ted had begun to doze off, his phone began to buzz, startling him. He reached in his pocket and looked down to see that someone was Facetiming him—he smiled at the name on his screen.
He swiped at his screen, and waited for the video chat to load.
"Hey, beautiful," he said softly when his wife's face appeared.
"Hey, pooh bear," she answered back. "I missed bedtime, didn't I?"
Ted laughed. "You did. But don't worry: I had our back-up recording."
"But it's not the same," she lamented. "I'll call tomorrow: I'll actually finally have a free evening to myself, so I can just hang out in my hotel room and sing to the kids. How are they doing?"
"They're well," Ted told her. "Luke's been missing you a bit. He's still sleeping in Penny's room."
"Yeah, he did the same thing that time you were in Hong Kong for two weeks," she recalled. "How's Penny?"
"She got an B+ on her math quiz!"
"That's amazing!" Tracy said, proud and relieved. She had really been struggling on the subject that year. "I can't believe she went up from that C- on her last few quizzes. Is it up on the fridge?"
"You know it!" Ted assured her. "How are you, babe? How's the conference going?"
Tracy was attending a global poverty conference in Washington D.C. for the week. With her three published books (one of which was a children's book, The Lonely Unicorn, aimed at informing kids about homelessness and teaching them the power of compassion, and won her both the Newberry and Caldecott medals the previous year), Tracy was a semi-big name in her field and she was a keynote speaker that year. She was also hosting a couple of workshops, attending a few lectures, and overall liaising with her industry peers. To say that he was proud of her achievements—which included getting her Masters degree and a doctorate within the last 10 years—would be an understatement.
"It's going well!" she told him. "I got to meet Matt Damon today—nice guy. Had lots to say about his latest clean water initiative in Africa. He also said he loved my work! Ah! I got validation from a Hollywood star!"
"The only form of validation that really matters," he joked. "Did you take a picture?"
"I'm a professional, honey. I wasn't going to act all fangirly in front of a movie star," she told him pointedly. "But then I saw Annie and Vicki ask for photos, so I totally did, too! I'll text it to you later."
Ted laughed. "God, I miss you," he told her longingly. "It's been three whole days since you left."
"Three more to go, hon," she said. "But I'll be home Saturday. And after we tuck the kids in for the night..."
Ted made an apologetic face. "Yeah, about that... Marshall and Lily invited us over for dinner on Saturday."
"Aw, man!" said Tracy, pouting. "I'm going to have a chat with Lily. The girls and I agreed that none of us would vagina-block the other after one of us came home to our husband after a lengthy time apart. It's in The Bitch Code!"
"The Bitch Code?" Ted asked, laughing. "What on earth is that?"
"Barney wrote it up for us five years ago," she explained. "He's surprisingly in-tune with the female psyche and really gets female friendships."
"What else is in there?" he asked, suspicious.
"Sorry, babe. It's for our eyes only. And Barney's. Unfortunately..." she muttered.
"I'm going to have to talk to Barney when we see him on Saturday," Ted joked. "If only to get some intel on that book!"
Tracy's eyes shot up happily. "Barney and Robin will be there, too?"
"Yeah, they just got back from Australia, and they have some gifts for the kids," Ted confirmed.
Tracy groaned. "Oh, God. They better not have brought back a didgeridoo or something! Remember that time they went to the World Cup and brought back vuvuzelas for them all?"
He laughed, remembering that day two years earlier, when all five Eriksen and Mosby kids marched around in their backyard, happily—and noisily—blowing into those plastic horns. "Aw, let them spoil the kids. Besides, Penny, Luke and I weren't exactly pleased when they came home from Moscow last year and brought you a balalaika."
"Hey, that was a thoughtful gift!" Tracy said defensively. "And when I finally master that instrument, you guys will be begging me to play it! Begging!"
"More like begging you to stop," Ted teased her lovingly. "Anyway, it'd be great to see them. It's been awhile since we all hung out together."
"It's been about a month, I think," said Tracy.
Barney and Robin were often on the road. They had pied–à-terres in London, Rome, Toronto, Los Angeles and, of course, New York; living their lives and blowing back into town as often as they could—both for long and short periods of time—to see the gang, their family, and to spoil the kids and take them out for an activity or on crazy adventures. They often didn't know where they took the kids, but they always brought them back dirty, sugar-laced, exhausted... and ridiculously happy.
They had a bit of marital problems around the three-year mark, with the possibility of divorce dangling over their marriage. Robin's work travels had been taking a toll on their relationship, particularly on Barney, who didn't always enjoy tagging along, as well as felt useless since he didn't have a job or a project of his own to work on.
But they persevered. They found a travel schedule that worked best for them, and Barney happily hung around New York while Robin hit the road, giving him time to focus on his blog, which became a hit and he eventually sold to Esquire. He then became a frequent contributor to the magazine, penned a couple of books, and even became a spokesperson for brands like Gillette, TAG Heuer, and Armani, among others.
With Robin also being a pretty big name in the news world, they were quite the power couple. They travelled the globe, both together and apart, attended glitzy events, and they seemed as if they could conquer the world. And Ted has never seen either of them happier or more fulfilled.
"They got back at the perfect time, too," Ted said now, barely able to contain his excitement. "Because Sunday is Trilogy Time! So we'll all be spending the night at Marshall and Lily's."
"It has been three years already, hasn't it?" said Tracy.
"Yep!" Ted confirmed. "And Luke's now old enough to understand the plot, so he can finally join in this time."
"Maybe Penny can join in," suggested Tracy, a hopeful tone in her voice. "You know she loves Star Wars, too."
"Trace, it's for guys only," he said reluctantly, recalling the same conversation they had three years earlier. "Besides, she and I have daddy-daughter Trilogy Time whenever she's home sick from school. It's very special to us." It first begun when Penny had her first cold at just five months old; she couldn't sleep, and after a second sleepless night, Ted let an exhausted Tracy sleep in while he soothed the baby. So at barely the crack of dawn, he popped in Star Wars, whispering to Penny every little detail about the movie. While she clearly didn't understand a thing, it was a new tradition that Ted kept on.
Tracy laughed. "Fine. But what about me? You know how much I love Star Wars, too."
"Yes, but you need to hang out with Robin and Lily, and maybe organize some fun activities for the girls," Ted told her. "Besides, we have our own Trilogy Time on occasion."
"Ah, yes," Tracy said with a knowing smirk. "But we barely get through the first hour before you take me to the bedroom, I put my hair up in buns, and you whip out your light saber. Sadly, that's not a euphemism..."
Ted grinned mischievously. "That's my favourite of all Trilogy Times," he admitted.
"I just bet it is," Tracy said with a narrowing of her eyebrows. "So... whatcha doing now?" There was a distinct tone in her voice.
"Just watching Dancing with the Stars." After she gave him a disappointed look, he shrugged his shoulders. "I just couldn't look away."
"That Tom Bergeron certainly has a certain allure at his age," she teased. "But think you've got a few minutes to look at something else?" Her finger was toying with a button on her blouse.
Ted pretended to play it cool, despite his inner giddiness, and the tightness he was feeling below the belt. "I could be persuaded," he said smoothly. "What do I need to look at?"
Tracy slowly started to unbutton her blouse, a sliver of black lace appearing as the shirt slowly started to part. "Just a couple of friends you haven't seen in a few days. They kind of miss you."
Ted leaned back into the sofa comfortably, his free hand inching towards his groin, resting on his belt buckle. "And I have a friend that kind of misses you, too," he murmured. "Want to say hello?"
Tracy laughed shyly; Ted was pleased that he could still make her blush. "So we're actually about to have phone sex?" she asked him excitedly. "We haven't done that since, wow, those times you were in Spokane eight years ago."
"It'll have to do for now," he said. "Until I have you back in my arms, and then we can go full-on hot monkey sex."
They both giggled excitedly, until something—or rather someone—interrupted them.
"What's hot monkey sax?" came a voice from the doorway.
"Shit!" Ted whispered, nearly dropping the phone from his hand. He looked back at the screen, where Tracy was quickly starting to button her shirt back up. "Nothing, champ!"
"Is that mommy?" Luke asked groggily, walking over to Ted and climbing onto his knee.
"Heyyyy, honey," Tracy cooed. Ted was always amazed how she could go from seductress to mom mode in two seconds, flat. "How's my big boy doing? How was your field trip to the Natural History Museum today?"
"It was so cool!" he said animatedly.
"Yeah?" she asked, the tone in her voice mirroring that of their son. "What was your favourite part?"
"The dinosaurs!" he continued, bouncing on Ted's lap, Ted holding onto him lest he fell off in his enthusiasm. "And the giant whale: it was huge! Timmy dared Jake to try and knock it down, but they didn't know how."
"Well," said Tracy conspiratorially. "We'll be seeing your Uncle Barney on Saturday. And he can tell you about the time he knocked it down when he was a boy."
"No way!" Luke breathed out, then looked up at Ted. "Dad, is that true?"
"Unfortunately, it is," he grumbled. "Now, kiss your mom goodnight and go back to bed. It's way past your bedtime."
Luke leaned forward and planted a kiss onto the phone screen. "Love you, mommy."
"Aw, I love you too, baby," she said, Ted seeing in her eyes how much she missed him. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."
Luke nodded his head, jumped off of Ted's lap, and ran out of the den.
Ted released a breath. "My son, the cock-blocker."
Tracy laughed heartily. "Aw, pooh bear," she said sympathetically. "Text me when you're in bed. We can try again later; just be sure to lock the bedroom door."
"Think we're too old to still be this hot for one another?" Ted asked her jokingly.
"Says you, old man!" she teased. "I won't be 40 for another five months, so I'm going to make sure I enjoy the remainder of my 30s. And that includes sexy time with my husband."
Ted smiled sadly, doing his best to keep his eyes from welling up. Tracy was able to enjoy the rest of her 30s. And her 40s, and 50s and, God willing, decades more after that. He was just so happy that she was healthy and still there with him.
Tracy noticed the look in his eyes. "Hey, now," she chided him softly, gently. "It's over, honey. It was barely anything to begin with. But it's over."
"I know..."
All it was was a scare. A minor scare that had them on pins and needles for only a week; but it felt like the longest week of their lives, and it could've easily gone a whole other direction, shaking up their world entirely.
It was a couple months earlier, back in February. Ted and Tracy celebrated Valentine's Day on a Wednesday evening with the kids, since they tended to make the day of love a family affair. A scavenger hunt around the house, followed by dinner and homemade chocolate cupcakes, and then a streaming of the movie Up on the TV before the kids passed out halfway through it.
Ted and Tracy had the night to themselves that Friday, shipping the kids off to her parents in New Jersey so they could have a little alone time. They went out to dinner, exchanged gifts, and scurried back home, running up to their bedroom.
Clothes hastily removed and tossed across the room, they were in bed, Ted on top of her as his hands roamed the expanse of her entire body, Tracy alternating between giggles and moans as he caressed her. They were real good about not letting the physical part of their marriage fall to the wayside as the years went by, but with kids who could easily barge into their room at any given time—which they had a couple of times, at the most inopportune moments—they had now become rather quick with the act, very often bypassing foreplay in favor of immediate release.
But that night, with an empty house, they were purposely going slow, reveling in one another's bodies. And it was while Ted's fingers were stroking her breasts that he felt a tiny lump on the side of her left breast, close to her underarm. He tried to ignore it at first, but his fingers kept on going back to it.
"Trace," he said, trying to keep his voice cool. "What's this?"
She looked up at him, a confused look on her face. He gently took her right hand in his, and guided it to where he felt the lump, his hand on hers as her fingers prodded the spot. He saw her eyes widen, and then her brow furrow worriedly. "I don't know," she whispered.
They looked at each other for what felt like a long time, unsure of what to say. Tracy gently pressed her hands to Ted's chest, urging him off of her as she rolled out of bed. She ran to the full-length mirror, and was looking closely at her chest, flexing her chest muscles and prodding the spot with the pads of her fingers some more.
Ted was right behind her, grabbing his phone and Googling ways to perform a breast self-exam. He read from a website as she lay on the floor, Ted tucking a pillow under her left shoulder, her arm over her head as she followed Ted's shaky instructions, moving her fingers in a circular motion across her breast and areole.
On the upside, they didn't notice any dimpling, puckering, discharge, or any other worrying signs. But that small lump was definitely disconcerting, pretty visible and defined, and firm to the touch.
It was the longest night of their lives, their happy Valentine's Day celebration spiralling into a pretty worrisome, panic-filled night. Tracy was particularly quiet, and Ted didn't quite know what to say; and he usually always knew the right thing to say. Platitudes like "it's going to be alright" were pointless, since Ted felt powerless and truly had no idea if it really was going to be alright. He was scared shitless, and he didn't want Tracy feeling scared either. He wanted to take that worry away from her; he promised her once that he'd always carry the weight of any pain or worry on his shoulders.
All he could do was hold her in his arms, lying in bed in their dark bedroom, as they looked into each other's eyes helplessly. Neither really got much sleep that night.
They called their family physician at home the next morning, making an appointment to see him first thing Monday morning. Afterwards, he referred them to a specialist at the hospital, and Tracy underwent a physical exam, blood tests, and an ultrasound later in the week.
Amidst the appointments, Ted and Tracy still had to go about their lives, focusing on work and the kids. They rushed them to swim lessons and baseball practice, attended that week's PTA meeting, and made sure dinner was on the table every night.
It was a crazy week, but they were admittedly thankful for their busy schedule that kept them from thinking too much about what was ahead, their upcoming appointment at the hospital on Monday morning with Tracy's results.
Ted wanted to get their minds off it all, so that weekend, he decided to take her to the Farhampton Inn. It had become their home away from home over the years, and he knew Tracy would appreciate a weekend away.
Despite the looming winter storm, they dropped off the children at Marshall and Lily's on Saturday, and made the drive up to Long Island.
They had a nice dinner that evening and enjoyed one another's company. Ted entertained her with his stories, happily distracting them both, and he was doing a pretty good job. Until, that is, after one of his tales of Robin and Barney's wedding weekend, when Tracy absently made a comment about what kind of mother would miss their child's wedding.
And that's when Ted's resolve crumbled. He thought of everything Tracy might miss: first dances, first days of college, graduations, weddings... The thought of the kids growing up without their mother killed him. And the thought of him not having Tracy by his side for all the big and small moments frightened him terribly.
He felt horrible when Tracy was the one to comfort him, encouraging him to simply enjoy the moment and one another's company instead of thinking too much of the what ifs. She was so damn strong; he knew Tracy was Gaelic for "warrior" and she embodied that through and through. As for Ted, he felt like a failure of a husband; after all, he was supposed to keep it together for her. And he couldn't even do that.
So all he could do, the best he could do, was spin a few more yarns. He talked and talked and talked all through coffee and dessert, telling stories that Tracy had clearly heard countless time before, but she didn't seem to mind. When she had first met him, she told him the way he spoke was very soothing. And there she was at the dinner table, dreamily shutting her eyes on occasion with a smile on her lips, revelling in the soft timbre of Ted's voice.
Afterwards, they slowly made their way back to their room, and silently disrobed one another. They tossed the bed covers aside and lay down on their sides, their naked bodies facing each other.
Tracy reached out her hand first, cupping Ted's cheek. He instinctively shut his eyes and pressed his face to her palm, enjoying her warm touch.
"Thanks again for bringing me here, honey," she murmured, her fingers moving away from his cheek and moving south, settling on his chest. "And thank you for being so amazing during this whole thing."
Ted looked down, putting his hand on top of hers. "I don't know how amazing I am, actually," he said sadly, his emotions bubbling to the surface again. "You're the amazing one, Tracy. You blow my mind every time with your strength and your hopefulness. I'm nowhere near that strong. I just don't know what I'll do if—"
"Shhh," she whispered, her hand now trailing downwards some more, Ted's hand still on hers, following along. "Don't you think about that, Ted. I'll help you forget about it for a little while."
Her hand was now on his member, her fingers gently wrapping around his shaft. His hand was gone now, having moved it to her hip, already sinking his fingers into her skin in anticipation.
Slow and steady she moved her fist up and down, his penis swelling up in her hand, her thumb occasionally flicking the tip as she continued to stroke, making Ted's toes curl. Her fingernail eventually trailed lightly along the vein underneath, making its way down to his testicles; she gently cupped his scrotum and gave them a little tug. Her breath was erratic—as was his, obviously—as she looked into Ted's eyes; he knew she loved seeing his reaction every time she pulled that particular move, his head dipping back in pleasure, moaning throatily and pressing himself deeper against her palm, wanting more. She obliged.
A finger then reached back deeper, pressing down on his perineum, which forced Ted to shut his eyes tightly and made his hips buck forward. "Time!" Ted breathed out after that. He was practically ready to explode, but it was too soon for that. He wanted to last, to keep this up for as long as possible. He wanted more time.
Tracy smiled softly at him as her hand made its way back to the surface, letting their breaths slow back down to a normal pace before they resumed. He kissed her magic fingers as Tracy rolled onto her back, letting Ted rest his head on her breast while he regained his composure.
After a few recuperative minutes, Ted was ready for Round 2. He loved Tracy for having his pleasure in mind, but this weekend away was to make her feel good, and he wanted to make good on that promise.
From his position, he began to kiss her chest, soft and wet kisses that trailed from one breast to the other, and back. His heart tightened as he briefly noticed that fucking lump that had shaken their universe up a week prior, but he did his best to push it to the back of his mind, focusing 100% of his attention on his wife.
Ted ran his hands down Tracy's body, feeling the strong muscles of her arms, and those of her thighs, amazed that such a healthy body could possibly be hiding something destructive underneath. Despite a couple of gray hairs, Tracy looked younger than her 39 years, and was the epitome of health: nary a wrinkle on her face, her body was small and delicate-looking but perfectly toned, thanks to her regular jogs and her weekly yoga classes. Her lips had never touched a cigarette, and she—and the entire family—ate pretty healthily for the most part.
To think that this could be happening to her was just unfathomable.
He continued to kiss and touch every inch of her body, oddly treating it as if it could possibly be their last time together. He'd heard of husbands who couldn't remember the last time they made love to their late wives, and if Ted and Tracy were in for a rough road ahead and if this was their last chance to be together like this, he didn't want to fall in that category. He wanted to savour it, get reacquainted with the body he knew so well.
So he took note of every single dimple, mole, scar and birthmark. He ran his hands from the sides of her breast down to her hip, ingraining the way her body curved into his brain. Ted did every little thing he knew Tracy loved—tickling the back of her knees, nibbling on her ears, dipping his tongue into her belly button, and spending extra time between her legs—which elicited everything from a satisfied sigh, to a happy giggle, to a guttural moan. And he retained every single sound she made.
Ted propped himself directly above her now, his face inches from hers, looking down into her eyes. She reached up and gave him a passionate kiss, sucking on his tongue desperately, wordlessly telling him that she was ready. Before Ted could take himself in his hand and position himself, however, Tracy gave his chest a firm push and rolled them both over.
He looked up at her now, surprised, as she silently climbed on top of him, straddling him. But he saw the worried look on Tracy's face, and he quickly understood. She felt defenseless: right now, she couldn't control her health or her destiny. But she could control this moment, control the pace, control her pleasure... control him.
So he let her.
She began by placing her hands on his shoulders for support, moving her hips forward and back for awhile, her folds rubbing up and down his shaft, the latter which was pressing up against his stomach with each forward motion. Tracy was getting herself wet, moaning as his hardness stimulated her clitoris.
Once she was good and ready, she slowly lowered herself onto him, Ted groaning at their union. He kept his eyes open as his wife writhed above him—shutting her eyes, chewing on her lower lip—rocking her hips in a circular, counterclockwise motion. Tracy moved excruciatingly slow, arching her back, her hands now on her breasts, making herself feel good, but also doing that for Ted's benefit.
Ted lay there for a few minutes, watching, letting her take the reins, but he wanted to help her out. He began to gyrate his own hips in the other direction, stimulating her inner walls. He saw her smile approvingly, opening her eyes to look down at him. "Thank you, baby," she said, and they continued to rock in tandem, Ted pleased that he could help in any way he could.
Tracy continued calling the shots, until he noticed her getting antsy, ready to move forward. She began to bounce on his penis, in quick up-and-down motions. Ted's hands went for her waist, holding her gently and steadily and she continued with her movements. She was so close, as she fell forward, her arms falling to either side of Ted's head, holding herself up as she moved, desperate for release.
"Look at me," Ted whispered, as Tracy opened her eyes to look down at her husband, her eyes simultaneously aroused and tense. Ted kept one of his hands at her hip, gripping tight, his other reaching for her core, his thumb at her clit. He then began to push up into her frantically, three single thrusts enough to push them both over the edge.
He grunted and she cried out, her shaky body collapsing on top of his. His arms were instantly around her, holding her tight, burying his face in her hair, trying to keep his tears at bay. Tracy, for her part, just kissed his neck, peppering words like "amazing" and "forever" and "love you" in between each peck.
They lay there like that for a bit, until Tracy climbed off him and rolled over onto her back. She wordlessly reached over to the bedside lamp and turned off the light, the room now bathed in darkness, save for the moonlight that shone through the window.
"Tracy..." Ted began, wanting to say something. "I love you", "Youre gonna be ok", "We'll get through this together." Anything to let her know that he was going to be there for her, like he promised in their wedding vows, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health.
Tracy just shook her head. "I know, honey," she said, clearly aware of what he wanted to say, but wanting to leave things unsaid for a little bit longer. "But not tonight. Let's go to sleep."
She lifted the quilt and covered the both of them, rolling over and cuddling up against Ted. His arm snaked around her, pushing her closer to him, wanting to bury her inside of him, to offer a shield of protection. All he could do tonight however was provide a safe haven, away from the world outside their hotel room that threatened them with illness and heartbreak, and hold her close as they slumbered.
The next morning, after a surprisingly good sleep, they lounged in bed, ordering in their breakfast and finishing the crossword puzzle together. They continued to leave things unspoken as they ventured out into the cold February morning, enjoying the post-storm stillness, engaging in a light snowball fight, eliciting bouts of laughter that had eluded them all week.
Ted knocked Tracy down onto the fluffy snow, both of them feeling giddy as teenagers as they kissed on the ground, no thoughts of anything other than one another and that moment.
They had a nice lunch, and then warmed themselves up that afternoon by the fire, sipping some hot cocoa, before checking out and going back to their reality. They drove off to pick up the kids, making it to Marshall and Lily's shortly after dinner. Barney and Robin were already there when they arrived, having cut their trip to Morocco short after Ted had called them to let them know what was going on with Tracy. Ted insisted they stay put, at least until they got the results back, but they refused to listen and were back in New York less than 24 hours later.
As the kids all blissfully played in the living room, ignorant to what was going on, the six adults sat in the kitchen, their coffee getting cold, no one really saying much. Barney in particular was very quiet, glancing at Tracy every once in a while with a worried and pained look in his eyes, looking down at his mug every time she caught his gaze. She did her best to flash him a hopeful smile.
They hung around for a while before deciding to head home and get the kids to bed. Lily packed up some leftovers for them, so that they didn't have to think of dinner the following evening. Tracy took it gratefully, and they all hugged goodbye.
"Call us tomorrow, when, you know..." Barney said as they all hung around the entryway, trying to use as few words as possible so as to not arouse suspicion from the kids.
"We will," Ted assured them, and the Mosbys walked out the door.
They made their way back to Westchester, Penny and Luke getting ready for bed, and eagerly waiting for Tracy to sing them their bedtime song. "You sure you guys aren't getting to old for this?" she asked them jokingly as she tuned her ukulele, putting on a happy facade for them, which wasn't too much of a stretch. The kids just always brought them such unadultered joy; it was easy to forget about the bad when Penny and Luke shot them a toothless grin, ran up to them for big bear hugs, or simply uttered the words "I love you."
"Never, mommy!" Luke said as he bounced on Penny's bed excitedly.
Tracy chuckled. "Fair enough," she said, as she plucked at the strings and began to sing.
When she was done, Ted picked up Luke, turning him upside down in his arms and tickling him, the little boy going into fits of giggles. They bid Penny goodnight, Tracy spending more time with her daughter than she did usually, giving her a long kiss on her forehead, and stroking her hair, murmuring "I love you" a couple of times. Penny smiled, but did look at her mom a bit strangely, perhaps noticing something different in their nighttime routine.
They then took Luke to his room, Ted playfully tossing him onto his Cleveland Browns bedsheets. "Goodnight, little man," said Tracy, tucking him in and tousling his hair. "Sweet dreams."
"Love you, mommy," he said sleepily, letting out a long yawn. "Love you, daddy."
They both reluctantly got up from the foot of his bed, turning off the light and walking out into the hallway. They stood out there and looked at each other for awhile, Luke and Penny on both their minds, both silently thinking about what their future held.
"Our kids are quite something," said Tracy, rubbing the tired, achy muscles in her neck..
"They have a great mom," Ted said matter-of-factly. "They wouldn't be the awesome, good-hearted kids that they are if it weren't for you."
Tracy smiled sadly. "You're an amazing dad," she assured him. "And I know you'll continue to be an amazing dad as they grow up."
Ted felt his throat go dry. "Hey, you'll be there along with me," Ted said hoarsely, stepping closer and enveloping her in an embrace. "We'll get through this, whatever happens."
She nodded. "C'mon, let's go to bed," was all she said, turning around in his arms and walking towards their bedroom, with Ted walking up close behind her, not letting go. "We've got a big day ahead."
The next morning, it was a typical Monday morning at the Mosby household. Ted prepared the kids' lunches as Tracy whipped up a quick breakfast. After a mad search for Luke's missing book report and trying to get Penny to finally pick an outfit for the day, the kids were out the door and on the school bus.
Ted and Tracy were out the door quickly thereafter, making the hour-long drive into the city for Tracy's appointment. They got to the hospital and were led into a dull and drab office, waiting nervously for the doctor to show up. Ted sat there tapping his hands on his lap, while Tracy just anxiously dug her nails into the arms of her chair.
Ted reached out his hand, palm up. Tracy turned and looked at him, giving him a brave smile, putting her hand in his.
The door burst open a minute later, startling them both. Dr. Singh walked in, shooting them both a friendly smile and sat down behind his desk.
"Good morning," he said. Ted desperately tried to deduce the man's tone of voice, whether it sounded positive of negative. He couldn't figure it out.
"Morning," they both murmured, looking at the doctor apprehensively. They both wanted to be cool and polite but, really, they had no time for niceties; they just wanted (yet dreaded) the news of Tracy's health.
"Ok, Mrs. Mosby," said Dr. Singh, opening her file, and placing it on his desk. "I have some good news for you. You have... nothing." He gave her an encouraging smile.
"Nothing?" Tracy asked, incredulous. Ted just sat there, dumbfounded.
"The lump is a benign cyst, so it's not cancerous," he explained to her. "They're fairly common in women your age, and nothing to be concerned about."
Ted and Tracy both released a breath, looking over at each other with relieved smiles on their lips. Ted squeezed her hand.
"Thank you so much, doctor," Ted said gratefully. "Is there anything else we need to do?"
"We will have to draw fluid from the cyst, since it's fairly large. This is merely to ease any discomfort," Dr. Singh explained, making a note in her file. "Fine needle aspiration is a simple and quick procedure; my secretary will give you a call later this week to schedule an appointment."
"Is it painful?" Tracy asked, nervously. She hated needles.
"A little painful," he admitted, shutting the folder, and standing up from behind his desk. "But it's slightly uncomfortable more than anything. Just make sure your husband or a friend comes with you to the appointment."
Ted and Tracy both nodded their heads as they stood up too, shrugging on their coats, and thanking the doctor, shaking his hand eagerly. Ted had to resist the urge to jump into the man's arms and hug him fiercely.
They quietly made their way out of the office, walking down the hospital corridors, hand in hand, and looking up to smile at one another every so often. They exited the hospital, a light snow falling outside, and they made their way through the parking lot towards their car.
Tracy walked over to the passenger side of the car, Ted walking behind her to hold open the door for her. Tracy just leaned back against the car door, looking up at Ted before her hand went to her mouth and she burst out crying, finally letting out a week's worth of fear and worrying, relief washing over her.
"Oh, thank God," she whispered as she fell into Ted's arms.
They had both been strong for far too long, and Ted let his tears flow too, holding Tracy tight as he rocked her in his arms. "It's over," he whispered, kissing her snowflake-covered hair. "It's done."
They stayed like that for awhile, simultaneously loving the feel of the cold morning air and the warmth of their hug. Ted just felt more alive than he'd felt in a long time—if he had asked Tracy, she would've likely told him she felt the same, 10 times over.
The drive home was silent, but of the comfortable kind. Once at the house, Tracy sat down at the kitchen table as Ted whipped them up a couple of sandwiches for lunch. They ate and chatted, mostly about the kids and their schedules, Tracy reminding Ted that he had to pick up Luke from baseball practice after school the next day, and Ted noting that they had to buy a birthday gift for Penny's friend Jessica before her party on Sunday.
After lunch, Tracy looked over at Ted lovingly, her fingers stroking his forearm. "So, the kids won't be home for a few more hours," she told him, a gleam in her eye. "Wanna go upstairs?"
Ted smiled. "Definitely," he said softly, pushing his chair back and standing up, holding out his hand. Tracy took it eagerly and stood up, and they made their way up to the bedroom.
If on Saturday night they had made love as if it were their last time, they now made love as if it were their first. They explored one another's bodies as if for the first time, and when their bodies joined as one, it felt like an altogether new experience. The sunlight streamed in from the window as they moved together, Tracy's playful banter and exuberant laughter permeating the bedroom, a telltale sign that she was happy.
When they were done and spent, they lay there blissfully, Tracy humming happily, and Ted was just quietly soaking in the moment.
He was quickly pulled away from his contemplative state by the feel of Tracy's finger poking his shoulder.
He turned his body to face her. "Yes?" he asked.
"So, I was thinking," she's began. "Along with first time sex, make-up sex, Scrabble sex, illicit we-might-get-caught sex, we're-having-a-baby sex, and wedding night sex, I think we can add another one to that list."
Ted snickered. "Clean-bill-of-health sex?" he offered.
"Clean-bill-of-health sex!" she confirmed.
He smiled and pulled her close. "As much as I agree—that was definitely amazing—it's not exactly a sex I'd like to ever revisit."
"Ditto," Tracy agreed, kissing Ted's jawline.
"I am down with we-might-get-caught sex again, though," he teased as her kisses ventured down his throat. "That time we did it outside during James and Tom's Labor Day barbecue, right before we got engaged?"
Tracy blushed at the memory, pressing her head to his chest. "Oh God, Barney totally knew what we were up to," she recalled, embarrassed. "He gave me a high-five afterwards."
Ted laughed, kissing the top of her head. "What time is it?" he asked, rolling over and reaching down for his jeans on the floor, pulling his phone from his pocket.
"2 o'clock, maybe?" she said. "Crap! I need to call my parents; I told them I'd call as soon as we got home. They're probably sitting by the phone, worrying."
"Yeah, I need to call the guys," he said, checking his text messages. "Lily texted a couple of times and, wow, Barney sent about a dozen texts."
"Aw," Tracy said, a soft look on her face. "Do you wanna call my parents and give them the good news? I'll call Barney."
"Sure," he said, looking for his in-laws' phone number in his contacts list. He noticed Tracy was about to get up, but he rolled over and reached for her hand, pulling her back down.
"I love you, Tracy," he said. He recalled the first time he uttered those three words to her, telling her he was going to keep it up forever. And he intended to.
"I love you too, Ted," she said, leaning in to kiss his nose before she got up and exited the room.
The next day, life went back to normal. Well, not exactly. Because, now, they were much more aware of the fragility of life.
So both Ted and Tracy became much more attentive people, to one another and towards the kids. They made love more, bringing back foreplay, a gentle touch sometimes making all the difference. They were much more affectionate, and made sure they told the kids they loved them more often, as well as showed them that the love between two people could be a beautiful thing. (Much to the kids' chagrin.)
A couple of weeks later, for example, Ted sidled up to Tracy at the kitchen counter where she was assembling the children's lunches. Penny and Luke were sitting at the table, eating their breakfast. He slipped his arms around her waist, kissing her cheek lovingly. "Hey, beautiful," he murmured, swaying them both from side to side.
"Hey, pooh bear," she answered, turning away from her task and giving him a proper kiss. "Any requests for your lunch?"
"Anything you want, so long as you don't forget to include my daily love note," he told her dreamily. "And be sure to include a dirty limerick in there, too," he added with a whisper in her ear.
"Can you two stop?" asked Penny, looking up disapprovingly from her copy of Harriet the Spy. "Kissing is disgusting."
"Sorry, sweetie," said Tracy. "This is what parents do. Deal with it."
"Plus, let this be a lesson to you both," Ted added with a raise of his finger, ignoring both their groans at the mention of a lesson. "When you get older, be sure to always show and tell your spouse every day how much you love them. Your mom and I love each other very much, and we intend on being disgusting like this and embarrassing you both for the rest of our lives."
"Well, can you guys be a little less in love?" Penny begged.
"Not a chance, kiddo," Ted said apologetically, leaning in to kiss Tracy again, the both of them smiling against each other's lips.
"Ugh," said Penny, pushing her cereal bowl away from her and getting up from her chair. "Parents are so gross," she muttered as she exited the kitchen, leaving Luke to look on at his parents curiously. He smiled and went back to his cereal.
The most important lesson Ted had learned, however, was to not to let life get in the way of the most important things. That's what they did when they postponed their wedding for five years; and while Tracy never complained—"Let's be honest: you're the one who always dreamed of that big princess wedding in a castle," she liked to mock him—Ted was unhappy with himself. Who the fuck was that guy who dreamed of marrying the girl of his dreams, only to wait five years before he realized what an idiot he'd been? Sure their hasty wedding was one of the best days of his life. How could it not be, as they stood before one another and vowed to love and cherish each other for the rest of their days? It was still perfect and memorable.
But now Ted realized, that if Tracy's lump had turned out to be cancerous and, God forbid, she was no longer with him, he would've been married to her for five fewer years than he would've liked to. That just wouldn't do. He should've done better; Tracy deserved better.
So, even with work and kids and business trips and sports practices and music lessons, Ted wasn't going to let life get in the way this time. A few days after they got the good news, Ted made a call to Curtis at the Farhampton Inn. Ted and Tracy's five-year wedding anniversary was coming up the following summer, and he booked the entire hotel for their anniversary weekend. He was going to surprise her with a vow renewal, and was going to invite all their good friends and family. He already asked Barney to officiate the wedding, and he was going to have Penny and Luke be the maid of honor and best man, respectively. (He was, of course, going to have to tell them at the last possible minute, because their children weren't exactly the best secret-keepers.)
Because, as he now looked down at his phone, Tracy smiling up at him, reminding him that she was healthy and alive and still with him, Ted knew that he was given a second chance at his marriage, at doing things right. He realized that he didn't go through eight years of ups and downs before meeting the love of his life, only to mess up on the follow-through. Sure, he was a devoted husband and father, and he had grown and evolved since the young man he once was who always wore his heart on his sleeve. He couldn't always be that guy, he couldn't run to the past; but who said he couldn't go big for his wife at his age? There wasn't an expiration date on big romantic gestures. And this big fat surprise wedding? It was his chance to show what Ted Mosby could really do, and a chance to show Tracy how much he loved and appreciated her.
But he could still cherish the smaller, quieter moments, such as now. Sitting in his den, having a cozy—often naughty—conversation with his wife on the phone, anticipating the moment she'd come back home to him, to their family... It was the happily-ever-after he'd always dreamed and hoped for. And it was simply perfect. Ted shut his eyes dreamily.
"Uh, babe?" asked Tracy, laughing as her husband closed his eyes and seemed to drift away from their conversation. "What are you doing?"
His eyes fluttered open and he gazed at his wife longingly. "Remembering this," he whispered.
Did you guys really think I'd kill her off?
Well, we've reached the end. This was quite the ride for me. I started writing this series for myself, as merely a cathartic way to deal with the finale. This was not the show I had set out to watch, and really not the ending I was expecting. So I knew I had to create my own canon to make myself feel better.
But it was very humbling that this story struck a chord with other HIMYM fans here; it's nice to know I'm not the only one who felt cheated that T/T didn't get their happily-ever-after. So my plan was to rectify that. I hope I succeeded in telling this story.
Thanks so much to everyone who followed along, and who left their reviews and offered feedback. I hope you all enjoyed reading these as much as I did writing them.
My original plan was merely to write this series and move on from this show. (It's amazing how you could simultaneously love and loathe this sitcom.) But I can't seem to say goodbye to T/T just yet, so I will try and write the occasional one-shot, existing within this universe I created. It'll possibly be some post-2014 stories, as well as a few "missing scenes" from their first year. Or maybe something different altogether. But I'm excited to see where I can take our beloved Mosbys.
Thanks again for reading, and I hope you all enjoyed this epilogue.
