The Key Moment

In between juggling the multiple murder case involving Dr. Leslie Nolan, the imminent arrival of Sharon Beck, Rusty Beck's seesawing emotions of hope and anger and oh yes, the Major Crimes Division barely veiled distrust-Sharon Raydor had an epiphany.

She was playing out the rest of everyone's day and realized it would be a late one. Would Rusty want to return to the Major Crimes bullpen or to Sharon's office after seeing his mother? In his place, Sharon would want to decompress or just drop into an exhausted sleep.

That meant giving him a way into the apartment. Under emergency care, Rusty came and went when Sharon did. Tonight would be different with Lt. Andy Flynn as the volunteer bodyguard and buffer for her ward.

As was her way-decision made, decision implemented. She pulled her emergency bag out of her locked bottom desk drawer. It held a little cash, emergency contact numbers, extra pair of glasses and another set of keys. Sharon made sure the front entrance and apartment door keys were in place. She left them on the key ring pulling off the extra garage, mailbox and car keys. Those now loose keys were tucked back into her bag. She made a mental note to find another key chain.

The key ring went into her blazer pocket as she gracefully rose from behind her desk. She would have to find a moment to give them to Rusty. The trick would be to strike the right balance with him. Sharon didn't want it to look like she was pressuring him to think of her place as his home, yet she wanted Rusty to have her trust.

Plus, she wanted to keep the squad from making snide comments like Lt. Flynn calling Rusty, "the little psycho". The teenager was still more likely to snap at her rather than smile, yet she felt protective toward a young man who'd been: abandoned, ran scared, forced into prostitution and then nearly murdered by a serial killer. He needed her protection, help and understanding.

The right moment would show itself.

Sharon's right moment came in the afternoon when an anxious Rusty poked his head into Buzz's inner sanctum. He interrupted Sharon and Buzz watching Lt. Provenza and Det. Julio Sanchez interviewing the suspect's boyfriend.

The worry about missing his mother's bus rolled off of Rusty in waves. Buzz did his best to calm him by determinedly announcing that Lt. Flynn would be there. Buzz backed it up by picking up his phone to call him out in the field. Rusty slipped out of the room reluctantly to wait for the update just outside the door.

When Buzz had it and conveyed Flynn's estimated return time Sharon stood and excused herself. It was up to her to soothe those wars of nerves engulfing Rusty. Her time might be ticking down with the teenager and she was surprised at how that tore at her heart a bit.

One graceful sweep of her hand was enough to steer him to one of the conference rooms. "Why don't you get your things, please and you can wait in here for Lt. Flynn."

Rusty obeyed without comment or complaint, another sign he wasn't his usual self. "Okay, yeah, the lieutenant will see me in here when he gets back."

"Don't worry, Rusty. No one will do anything to interfere with your reunion with your mother."

"Nobody here." He spoke in an anguished whisper.

Sharon fought the urge to put her hands on his shoulders for an extra bit of reassurance. "Hold onto how happy your mom sounded when you spoke. That is a good thing."

He nodded and she still wanted to hug him. In her quest to find something else to do with her hands she remembered the key. "Rusty, after seeing your mom and having dinner, you might want some downtime to think."

"Alone isn't really an option around here."

"No, it's not. So I thought maybe you'd like to have some time to yourself at the apartment." She was careful not to refer to it as home. She slipped the key ring from her pocket and held it out. "Here."

Rusty hesitated, "How are you going to get in?"

"I'll be fine; this is an extra set for the front entrance and my front door." Sharon repeated, "Here, take it."

"Sharon, are you sure?"

"Absolutely I am. Why do you ask?"

"Most people wouldn't want a street kid alone in their house."

"Rusty, I trust you. Trust me. I've kept my word. We've found your mother. No tricks, I just want you to feel comfortable."

He bit his lip as he extended his hand. "Thank you, I'll take care of them."

"Of course you will." Her tone turned brisk, "You wait in here for Lt. Flynn. It'll be all right, he'll be here in time."

Then it all went to Hell. Sharon Beck scammed them all and shattered her son. Now, Rusty was on the run, God knows where and doing God knows what. The Major Crimes Division made it clear they'd stay in place until the hunt for Rusty Beck ended. It had to end positively, it just had to.

Sharon Raydor vowed not to cry until she was behind her own closed door at home. She prayed all the way on the drive for the teenage boy who knew the streets too well. Hopefully, his guardian angels were as diligent as the Major Crimes squad.

She pulled into the underground garage and another thought intruded on her worry. Sharon would have to let the Department of Children and Family Services know about this. This meant a new fear, if- no she mentally corrected when Rusty was found would she be able to keep him?

And yes, she wanted to take care of Rusty. He needed to be safe, he needed to be valued. That troubling train of thought carried her all the way to her front door. No call on the answering machine and her cell was silent. She wasn't sure if the phone ringing would be good or bad. Maybe a glass of wine would help…

That wine sloshed when Sharon heard the welcome sound of Rusty's voice. She resisted the urge to throw her arms around him. That would likely spook him again and who knew if she'd be as lucky to get him back safe and sound a second time.

His eyes also kept her at a distance. The pain and sorrow radiated through despite his attempted show of disdain and indifference. Their conversation and his effort to fill out the school forms told her they'd turned an important corner.

Sharon watched him walk away. She could almost relax; her next step was to call Lt. Provenza. His gruff voice held a note of relief that she was sure would be echoed in the Major Crimes bullpen. She hung onto that emotion deciding to call Cynthia at D.C.F.S. tomorrow and would hope for the best. Hope was the watchword. Sharon would fight with everything she had to keep Rusty with her. Rusty was back, he hadn't gotten into trouble, Sharon Beck had shown her true colors again. This was the best and most secure place for an unsettled teenage boy.

Teenage boy. That meant perpetually starving. Sharon moved to put her wine glass in the dishwasher and looked for signs Rusty had eaten. There were no dishes on the counter, in the sink or in the dishwasher.

Her mother's instinct to let him be warred with her mother's instinct to make sure he ate. She let the war wage in her head and in her heart while she changed into jeans and a sweater. Once her workday persona was stowed away, the urge to feed a growing boy was too strong to be ignored.

Sharon tapped on the closed door of the guest room and called softly, "Rusty?"

His muffled reply sounded raspy with tears, "Yeah?"

"I thought you might want something to eat. It's been a long day."

Again she heard, "Yeah". Then, "It has."

"Okay, well I'm going to have something light. You're welcome to join me." She turned from the door and left him to make up his own mind and hoped he was too hungry to ignore that feeling.

Sharon decided soup would do for her as she looked into the pantry. Using the microwave offended her sensibilities unless absolutely necessary. She was stirring the saucepan when she heard socks slapping along the wooden floor.

"The microwave is faster.", he suggested.

"That's true, however, this creates more of an illusion that this has been simmering for hours and it'll be rich with flavor."

"It's just soup."

"True, but I like to have a little flair."

"That explains why you eat at the table."

Sharon smiled, "It is more civilized and less likely to involve spills." She gestured toward the pan, "Would you like to join me?"

"I guess." He gave her a wary smile, "I'm not sure I'm dressed for flair or civilization."

"We'll both do." She tried to smother a bothersome thought and failed. "Rusty, I want to make sure you know you are always welcome to eat whatever is here. Just help yourself. You don't have to ask. In fact, if there's something you like that's not here, tell me. I don't really have any idea of your favorite foods."

He looked stunned and her heart broke. Obviously no one had cared enough in awhile to make him feel comfortable. She figured this extended back to his mother. Sharon waited and added, "It's been awhile since I had a teenage boy to feed."

"Burgers." It burst out of his mouth, "Pizza." He shrugged, "Really though anything is fine. I don't want to be any trouble or to put you out."

"It would be neither." She pointed her wooden mixing spoon at him, "I will insist on the occasional vegetable though possibly surprisingly to you, that does not include French Fries."

"Now, those taste lousy out of the microwave."

"Agreed." She took bowls to the table with plates under them. She added flatware, napkins and glasses of water. She turned back to see Rusty with his beat up backpack. He dug into one of the inside pockets. He pulled out cash and the extra set of keys. "Here."

"Oh." Sharon had given him forty dollars at the same time she'd offered the keys. It was just in case or if he wanted to pay for part of the dinner.

"You can count it. I didn't spend any of it. I didn't make a copy of the keys. I could empty the bag and show you."

"None of that is necessary, Rusty. I believe you. I wish you had used the money to get yourself back here by bus or even a cab."

"I wasn't sure how much a cab ride would be. I needed time to think and to stop crying so walking was okay." He had to be physically exhausted covering that long distance. And emotionally exhausted.

She scooped up cash and keys. "You hold on to them. It's always prudent to have walking around money and you live here now. You need your own keys."

"But Sharon, I'm always with you because of the emergency care."

"That should hopefully be ending soon."

"Wait, oh God, I just got it. Did I screw things up by taking off?"

"I honestly don't know. But Rusty, I promise you we'll fix it if there's an issue. I want you here."

"Sharon, I promise and I'll promise anyone else that it won't happen again."

"We will talk to Cynthia tomorrow." She indicated the bowls with her hand, "Now, let's have our soup."

"Fine." He dug in after a tentative spoonful, "It's good."

She was glad she'd only taken half a bowl. Her stomach was still in knots over Rusty bolting. He was now right in front of her and it was obvious he'd be finishing the rest of the soup in a hurry. "How about some crackers or bread and butter or maybe a sandwich?"

"Okay." He continued to shovel in the soup.

Her echoed, "Okay" included memories of feeding another teenage boy. Her food budget was about to explode. "Okay, I guess it's all of the above."

Rusty paused, "Thank you. I was hungry."

"You never have to ask about eating. Whatever is here, you're welcome too."

"That's good to hear. After everything tonight I didn't think I'd be hungry."

"We'll shop tomorrow, in the morning if I don't have to go in right away. We can start a list."

"That'll work."

By the next morning it had grown to quite a list. Sharon studied it as she sipped her tea. She wasn't required at work right away so this could be handled once Rusty was done talking to Cynthia. Rusty's caseworker had been sympathetic and understanding. She agreed about not wanting to move Rusty and was pleased he'd come back to Sharon's place on his own after a potentially explosive disappointment. He was reassuring the social worker that he had no desire anymore to take off and search for his mother.

"She wants to talk to you." Rusty handed the phone over and put his notebook on the breakfast bar. "If it's okay I want to put something else on the list."

"Go ahead." Sharon turned her attention back to the phone call and was pleased to hear Cynthia had no plans to move Rusty or to make trouble. She complimented Sharon on the change in Rusty's attitude. The inference was that he'd soon be off emergency care and able to live a little more normally depending on his school placement.

Cynthia was going on about schools and other items for Rusty's well being. Sharon half listened and glanced down at the notebook. It was open to a pair of pages devoid of writing except for one word: HOME. It was boldly printed in capital letters next to a traced outline of a key.

Sharon was certain Lt. Mike Tao in her Division would deduce it was the key to her front door by analyzing the ridges and grooves cut into the piece of metal. She didn't need that scientific procedure. Her heart told her that a simple gesture had touched the soul of this complicated and conflicted teen. She ended the call with Cynthia and hung up the phone keeping those thoughts to herself. Sharon didn't know the particulars, didn't know them yet, but she knew this notebook was an important part of Rusty's life.

"I hope it's okay there's all this stuff on here." His voice jolted her back. "I remembered I like cereal." Rusty grabbed the notebook and closed it wondering if Sharon had looked at it. He was afraid to let her see how relieved he was to be safe and off the streets. He couldn't believe she trusted him enough to give him a key to her home, to let him think of it as his home.

"You should feel comfortable asking for anything food-wise."

"Really?"

Mother mode snapped into place, "Okay within reason. We're not buying every sugary cereal on the aisle. We want to save some of those empty calories for the ice cream section. Agreed?"

With a small smile, Rusty echoed, "Agreed."

Sharon was certain things wouldn't always be this smooth or pleasant. There were rough spots with normal teenagers and Rusty had more baggage than most. But this was a key moment and their most positive step to build from, to allow Rusty to be truly at home.

"Let's get started then."

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