Inspired by Bruno Mars. He's such a lovely artist, his music always knows how to hit my creative nerves. To all my Internal Warfare fans, this takes place between Chapters 1-3 when Kendall was still alive, and then James finds out he's died. Enjoy :)
His hazel eyes quivered slightly, his knees pulled to his chest as he stared out of his open window. James really wished that Kendall would have re-thought his choice of joining the military. The sandy haired man never knew how dependent he was on his love until now, when he wasn't here. The time he felt he needed him most.
My neighbors think I'm crazy. But they don't understand...you're all I have, you're all I have.
James wonders to himself if Kendall ever thought of him. He knew this was probably a ridiculous questioning, knowing good and well that the golden haired boy loved him more than anything. But still. It had been quite some time that they had spent apart, and James worried. He missed his baby.
At night when the stars light up my room, I sit by myself, talking to the moon. Try to get to you in hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too. Or am I a fool, who sits alone...talking to the moon?
There would be some nights when James would completely break down, falling to the floor of his bedroom, screaming into his carpet and banging his fists against it until the rug burn on his knuckles began to bleed. His mind began to creep with terrible thoughts of his boyfriend's death. Did he suffer? Did they torture him? James couldn't take his imagination any longer, wishing he could reach into his brain and rip it out.
Do you ever hear me calling? Cause every night I'm talking to the moon...still trying to get to you.
Even when Carlos' warm grasp and loving words seemed to bandage the pain, his sweetness only buried the pain deeper into the crevices of James' mind. He still loved Kendall. No matter what anyone did or said, James felt as though he would never let go of the memories.
Kendall saying "I love you," for the first time up in that tree, the moon's light blanketing the blonde's body like a silk cloth as he rode out his ecstasy with James. Kendall's emerald eyes, speckeled with brown and golden dots that lit up his iris' like a starry Minnesota sky. Nothing would ever mask those God given moments.
I know you're somewhere out there...somewhere far away.
