Written by: thezenparadox and mamarobbins (my tumblr name) with help and input by nyladreams.

Episode Summary: With Callie and Sofia gone, Arizona questions her decision.

Episode 1: This Will Be Our Year


"And I won't forget

The way you held me up when I was down

And I won't forget the way you said,

"Darling I love you"

You gave me faith to go on

Now we're there and we've only just begun

This will be our year."


"So when can I take my baby home?" April prompted for the third time that morning alone, as she watched her best friend coo at her days-old daughter.

Arizona pursed her lips, eyes still lovingly trained on the tiny human in her arms―her gorgeous goddaughter. "Not yet."

"Why not?!" April whined. "It's been three days! I'm fine. I'm healed!"

"You got your baby cut out of you by a resident with a rusty scalpel and dish-towels―in Meredith's kitchen no less," Arizona countered, finally meeting her frustrated friend's eyes. She shook her head. "I want you to stay for at least another few days. You need more antibiotics, rest, and support."

"But-"

"It's not like you really have anything to complain about," Arizona muttered almost inaudibly, as she allowed the baby to fist her pinky finger. "We could have discharged the baby yesterday, but we didn't. At least you get to be with your daughter."

April cringed. "Arizona…" she began, sickened with sympathy for her friend who couldn't be with her own daughter.

Forcing herself out of her painful thoughts, Arizona looked up, plastering on a smile. "Hmm?"

But April wasn't buying the façade. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about?" Arizona huffed. "I bought Callie plane tickets. I told her to leave, and she did. Now, Sofia's in New York, and I'm here. It is what it is."

April sighed, noting the blonde's hyper-rational statement of the facts. Her tone was almost eerily detached. Or numb. "She's coming back though, right?"

"For the weekend. Long enough to wrap up everything here, I assume. Then they're gone for good. My baby will be living in New York."

"Why did you tell Callie to go, anyway? She would've stayed. She was staying."

"I don't know why!" Arizona exclaimed, momentarily forgetting about the sleeping baby in her arms. Lowering her voice, she maintained, "I don't know. I don't know why I let her go. I just...I-I…" She paused, exhaling a long, calming breath. "She was down, and I wanted to lift her up."

"Right," April nodded. Arizona had supported her all year, and now she knew it was her turn to lend an ear and listen. Not that she had any choice―Arizona had confined her to her hospital room, after all.

But, mistaking April's quiet for judgment, Arizona began to fret, "Do you think I made a bad call, here? I mean, it felt right at the time, but did I just jump the gun without thinking? Did I-"

April was already shaking her head from side to side, desperate to calm the blonde's qualms. "No, I-"

"I mean, am I crazy or...Or-or-or a terrible mother?" she rattled on. "Because I don't know if it's the best thing for Sofia, switching schools, leaving her village, leaving me. And-and it's definitely not the best thing for me, but Callie was…" She paused. "I was trying to protect her, and now-"

"From what?" April interrupted.

Arizona made a face, annoyed by the interruption and confused by the question. "What?"

"Why did you feel that you had to protect her?" April pressed. "Callie isn't your responsibility anymore. It's not your job to look out for her."

"I know that! In my head, I know that. I was so mad at her after court…" Arizona glanced up from the baby, her guilt obvious. "I may have been too hard on her. I was holding a grudge. A grudge which I felt justified in holding, but once that faded...Once the anger was gone and I looked at her, really looked…well..." She sighed. "I've never been able to stand seeing her sad. And now, because of that, I'm here alone and practically daughterless."

"Arizona," April cautioned. "You are no more alone now than you were last week. And you aren't daughterless. You just have your daughter…less." Her lips quirked up at her poor attempt at humor.

"Understatement," Arizona grumbled in response.

"If it's any consolation, you're going to be a big part of my village. A village VIP." April's eyes settled on her newborn in Arizona's arms. "She's going to love you."

Arizona inhaled deeply and put on her best smile for her friend. She knew she shouldn't leak her negativity all over the innocent baby. And April didn't need her drama―she had enough of her own. "You're right. This little cutie," she cooed, "Will love me, because I'm awesome."

April laughed. "No kidding."


"Robbins!" Bailey whisper-yelled, so as not to disturb the patients and their families, as she chased the preoccupied surgeon down the corridor toward the NICU. "Dr. Robbins! Arizona!"

Arizona finally glanced over her shoulder and saw the Chief of Surgery heading her way. "Bailey? Were you calling for me?"

"I've been trying to get your attention since we passed the nurses' station. Do you need to get your hearing checked?"

"What? No. I'm just...I have a lot on my mind. What can I do for you?"

"Are you covering Karev's follow-ups this morning?"

"I'm headed there now. He's back for non-surgical stuff tomorrow, right? Because I have a big surgery with Grey in the morning."

"He better be," Bailey quipped. Softening her voice, she continued, "Anyway, I need you to work tonight. I need Peds coverage for the pit."

"What? No! I'm supposed to FaceTime with Sofia tonight! I've only gotten a few texts since they left!"

"Yeah, well, that's part of the reason you need to work. Hunt and Amelia are on their honeymoon. April is on maternity leave. Stupid Karev broke his damn finger on DeLuca's stupid face and can't operate…And now Torres is gone―with no notice, I might add. We're spread thin this week, and I need you."

Arizona's shoulders slumped in defeat. She really had been looking forward to getting on her computer and spending the evening chatting with her daughter. But Bailey needed her.

"Okay," she relented. "You know I'll do it. But I'm still talking to Sofia tonight. I miss her, Bailey. She's only been gone a few days and I really, really miss her."

Perplexed by the blonde's worry, Bailey responded, "Callie said she'd be back on Friday."

"Right, which is why I'm willing to work for you tonight, and any other night you need me this week," Arizona sighed, shoving her worry back down. "But I'm taking the weekend off and spending it with Sofia before she leaves again."

Bailey's face again twisted with confusion. "Leaves again? But Callie said-"

"Bailey! I'm spending the weekend with my daughter, no buts!"

Bailey held up her hands in surrender. "Fine." She walked off shaking her head, mumbling about poor communication and about how nobody talked to each other anymore.


"Hi," Arizona chirped merrily, easily maintaining her positive bedside manner as she entered her patient's room, even with her own mental muddle. "Are you Grace King?"

The seven-year-old seated in the bed in her tiny hospital gown nodded, and the woman beside her―presumably her mother―affectionately ran her fingers through the girl's long black box braids. "She is." Her kind eyes ran down Arizona's form, unnoticed by the blonde.

"Are you giving me a check-up today instead of Dr. Karev?" Grace shyly asked.

"I am," Arizona confirmed, smiling brightly. "I'm Dr. Robbins. And, if you can believe it, I was once Dr. Karev's teacher, so I promise I'll do a good job."

The little girl giggled.

"You're the best, then, huh? I'm not surprised," the mother flirted, mouth curving into a smile.

Arizona's eyebrows flew up, and she silently worked through the possibility that this woman was actually flirting. She shrugged humbly, joking, "I'm pretty good." Then, she focused her attention solely on Grace; Alex had performed an emergency surgery on her ruptured appendix a few days before.

"So..." The woman cleared her throat during a lull in Arizona's examination, wanting to keep the doctor in conversation. "You taught Dr. Karev?"

"I did," Arizona nodded, continuing her exam. "I got him when he was a baby resident and raised him to be the awesome doctor he is today."

"Well, Grace certainly loves him."

Arizona knowingly squinted at the young girl, "You think he's cute? And funny?"

Grace just giggled and nodded.

"My daughter thinks so, too," she winked.

"You have a daughter?" the mother asked.

"I do." Arizona couldn't help but smile when she talked about her girl. "Her name's Sofia. She's six and has hair the same color as yours." She gestured towards Grace's braids.

"Are you married?"

But, before the question ever fully registered, the mother backtracked. "I'm sorry," she shook her head. "My ex-wife always called me 'excessively inquisitive.' I tend to pry." She groaned. "And overshare."

So she is flirting, Arizona noted. The woman was gay, had a daughter around Sofia's age, and, admittedly, was really, really endearing. "Don't be sorry. My ex…" She purposely paused for emphasis. "She overshares, too. I've learned to expect it."

The woman's mood visibly brightened at the word she, but she didn't say anything else right then.

After inspecting Grace's tiny scar, Arizona gingerly pulled the gown back over her belly. "You are healed," she announced, the news received as joyously as Christmas presents from Santa. She turned to Grace's mother, "It looks good. No signs of infection."

Then, she turned back to the little girl. "I am not clearing you to run around at recess yet, but you can go home."

"You hear that, baby? We can bust you outta here. And maybe…we can stop for ice cream on the way home!"

"Yay!" Grace cheered. She grinned at Arizona. "Thank you, Dr. Robbins."

"You're very welcome, Grace." Arizona returned her smile, grateful for the magic of Peds that often was so easy to forget amid death and illness.

A few minutes later, as she left the examination room, the mother stopped her. "Um, Dr. Robbins?"

Arizona turned towards the woman, feeling her heart speed up. She could tell when someone was interested in her. She knew what was coming.

"I, um...Listen," the woman tittered nervously. "I know this is usually frowned upon, but, well, you seem great. And I'd really love to get some coffee sometime. Any chance you'd be interested?"

Arizona easily began to form an excuse. "I'm flattered―super flattered―but it would be a violation of-"

"I'm not your patient," the woman interrupted, not giving her the chance to say no. "And technically, you're not Grace's doctor, either."

Arizona smiled, flattered by the woman's persistence. "She has to come back for a follow up on Friday with Dr. Karev… maybe I'll see you then?"


"Grey!" April exclaimed, one eye on her sleeping daughter as she raised her voice, calling out to the woman making her way through the corridor. "Meredith!"

Hearing her name, Meredith stopped short, backtracking towards April's room. "April…?" she began, surprised. She had grown to like April. Really, she had. But, still, she was surprised to hear the woman on bed-rest call out her name.

April moved her head, looking beyond Meredith to the nurses and doctors milling beyond her room.

She'd been stuck in bed for four days. And that meant that, when Jackson or Arizona weren't there, or when the baby was sleeping, she had nothing to do but watch. Watch and listen. Watch and listen and learn.

From her position in bed, she could see her coworkers objectively. And what she'd seen is them walking the halls as if they were haunted. Not just Arizona, whose suffering was her personal gravity, but also Alex. And Jo. And the mysteriously bruised-and-battered Deluca.

"How...are you doing?" Meredith questioned politely.

But April didn't have the patience for niceties. She was bored. And she wanted to know what the hell was going on in the world outside.

"When are Hunt and Shepherd coming home?"

Meredith's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and then she shrugged. "Amelia doesn't really give me details. They're both on the surgical schedule a week from now, but I don't know for sure. I'm not sure they know, either," she smirked.

April made a face. The sooner they were back, the better, she figured. Then the hospital would at least return to a state of relative normalcy. Hopefully.

"Why?"

April huffed. "It's just...everything's different. I didn't notice how much everything had changed until now. And I wanted my baby to have this whole village of doctors and people who love her, but everyone's…" She shrugged helplessly. "Moving on."

Meredith pursed her lips together. She wasn't one to coddle self-indulgent moaning, but April had a point. So many of their people had moved on. George, Izzie, Teddy, Mark, Lexie, Cristina, Derek, and now apparently Callie…

The list was continuous. People left and made their village smaller, lessening their support system.

Without Callie and Sofia, her own village was smaller and more prone to weakness. And so was Arizona's and April's, which prompted her to assure kindly, "Your baby has a village, April."

April looked up, wide-eyed. "You think?"

"She does," Meredith confirmed, smiling. "It might be different than what you imagined, but it will be just as loving."


A few hours later, with April's comments still on her mind, Meredith figured it was time to address the elephant in the room

"So," she began, wrist-deep in a pregnant woman's tumorous abdomen. "You just told her to go?"

Arizona, focused on the monitor relaying the fetus's vitals, felt her head snap up to meet her co-surgeon's eyes.

Meredith Grey didn't really like her. She knew that. She had cheated on Callie, and Meredith had stopped liking her. They were cordial enough, but not close, and that sometimes made conversations between them awkward.

"I bought her two plane tickets and told her to be happy," she replied tentatively, not allowing herself to dwell too much on how it all made her feel. She didn't want to be vulnerable in front of Meredith. She was okay with April, or even Richard, seeing her doubts, but not Meredith.

"Hmm." Meredith looked unconvinced.

"What?" Arizona challenged. "You don't think I want Callie to be happy?"

"No, I know you do," Meredith vowed. "What I can't believe is that Callie would leave―move, even―without saying anything to me."

"Well, she'll be back this weekend with Sofia." Arizona carefully watched the numbers on the monitor. "I assume she has some other stuff to wrap up before she's gone for good, so I'm sure you'll see her."

The conversation lulled for a few minutes while they both concentrated on the patient in front of them.

Finally, with the last tumor dissected, Meredith invited her resident to double-check the margins and begin to close. She stepped away from the abdomen and moved around the patient to watch the fetal monitor with Arizona.

"For what it's worth," Meredith offered, "I know it wasn't easy, but…you did a good thing. Everyone deserves a second chance."

Slowly, a smile bloomed on Arizona's face. Meredith was extending an olive branch. She was reaching out. Even though it had hurt like hell to give Callie a chance to go be in New York, at least someone understood the sacrifice she'd made. "Thank you."

Meredith met her eyes, and the two women shared a quiet moment of understanding before returning to their work.


The following morning, Arizona grabbed a bagel at the hospital coffee cart, biting into it as she made her way to her office. Richard caught up to her her mid-bite.

"Robbins, what are you doing tonight?" he asked. "Care to go play some trivia?"

"Mmm." She held up her hand while she chewed and swallowed her bite of bagel. "Can we go next week, instead? I'm swamped."

Richard fixed her with a knowing look. "If you don't come, are you just going to spend the night in the E.R., trolling for cases, or nursing that pint of ice cream you hid in the back of the freezer in the attendings' lounge?"

Arizona felt her face flush red. Damn it. He knew her well. "No. Well, yes. I'll be here. But only because Bailey asked me to. Again."

"Uh huh." Richard crossed his arms. "I heard some gossip about you, you know."

"Really?" Arizona looked around to see if anyone was listening. Seeing that they were alone, she leaned in to jokingly ask, "Was it juicy?"

"Depends on your answer," he replied. "Kepner said a patient asked you out."

"A patient's mother," Arizona corrected, insistently lifting her index finger before taking another bite of her breakfast.

"Did you accept?" he inquired expectantly.

Arizona pursed her lips, feeling like a kid sent to the principal's office, even though Richard was her friend. He respected her right to date around, and he was happy that she was happy, but he wanted her settled. He was a romantic. He wanted her looking for the one―and she knew it. "No."

"Why not?" Richard asked. "I thought you got your groove back! You've been dating. Is it the patient thing?"

"Again, she's not my patient. Her daughter is." She paused. "Wait, no. She isn't either. She's Karev's patient. But it's not…that. She's nice. Great, even, and I liked her, but I don't know."

Richard sighed. "What's going on with you? A few weeks ago, you would have been all over an attractive woman who asked you out."

"If she'd asked me out at the bar, I probably would have accepted on the spot," Arizona admitted. "But this felt different. This felt…"

"Like potential?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah."

"Robbins, I know what you're doing here."

Arizona waited.

"I've noticed how intent you are on staying single."

Arizona waved him off. "There's nothing wrong with being single!" She was tired of everyone thinking that marriage was the end goal. She likely would've never even gotten married if she hadn't met Callie.

"You're right, being single isn't bad. As long as you make that choice for the right reasons," he surrendered, eyes stilled on her face. "But I don't think you have a good reason. I think you don't give women a real chance because you're protecting yourself from pain. And that's okay. But," he cautioned, "Make sure you're not protecting yourself from love, too."


April eagerly looked up as Arizona strode into her room.

"Today?" she hoped.

"That depends." Arizona crossed her arms

"Depends on what?" April asked, then her eyes widened as a thought came to her. "I already went number two. Twice, actually."

"I know. Rachel noted that in your chart. And you're a surgeon, not a toddler. You don't have to call it 'number two.'"

"Well, then, what does it depend on?"

"Did you tell Richard about the patient asking me out?"

"Patient's mom," April corrected. "Did, uh, he say I did?"

"He did."

"Then it may have slipped out when he was here last night."

"April!" Arizona scolded. "That was a private conversation between us."

"I'm sorry! I'm bored! And you're holding me hostage here!" April attempted to deflect and change the subject. "I've done everything you asked: lots of IV antibiotics; moving around so I don't get stiff; freakin' pooping. And it's been five days. I just want to take my baby home."

"Fine, you can go home. I was going to make you wait until tomorrow, but if you're healthy enough to blab my business, then I guess you're-"

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"But only if Jackson stays with you for the first few days," Arizona finished with a hint of amused retribution. Ha. Though there was medical precedence for having someone stay with April post-surgery, she mostly didn't want the new mother to be lonely.

She discharged her eager-to-get-home friend, and Jackson thanked her for the opportunity to be with his newborn for her first few days home.


Luckily, when Arizona walked into work on Friday morning, she felt like a brand-new woman. She had shed her sad gray skin for the time being, and she felt like herself again. She had spent the past week without her favorite person in the world, accepting the fact that the upcoming year would be more of the same: with her in Seattle and Sofia in New York.

Accepting that had been miserable.

But now, Sofia and Callie were coming for the weekend. Before the day was done, she would be able to wrap her arms around her little girl.

Knowing that made her feel like herself again. It made her feel whole, and she decided that she couldn't spend the whole year miserable. She needed to move on and find someone who made her happy. Someone with potential. Someone with whom she could have a future, for more than just one night.

Which is how she found herself making her way towards the pediatric ward with the intention of 'accidentally' running into Grace and her mother.

She didn't want to be too obvious. She'd only truly ever chased one woman in her life and that had…Well, she didn't want to dwell on that, anymore. The point was: women usually sought her out. That gave her the upper hand, and that was something she desperately wanted to maintain.

After checking the schedule for Grace's appointment time, she positioned herself strategically at the nurses station to work on charts.

It came as no surprise when she heard someone call out "Dr. Robbins!" and she turned around with a smile on her face.

Grace's mother walked towards her, and Arizona felt a rush of adrenaline. Richard was right—she'd been keeping herself from looking for love out of fear.

"Hi," the woman smiled.

"Hi," Arizona dimpled in return. "I never did catch your name."

The woman's smile widened, her teeth almost blindingly white against her smooth, dark skin. "Gail. Gail Brevis. Yours?"

"Arizona." She held out her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you. Officially."

"So…" the woman began uneasily, their hands still entwined. "Did you think about my offer?"

"I did."

"And?"

Arizona inhaled a deep breath, preparing herself to be brave. "And I think I'd like to take you out for dinner."

"That's…great," the woman grinned.

Arizona couldn't help but match her expression, exposing the woman to the full force of her charm.

"I'll…um, call you?" Gail suggested, suddenly shy in the presence of the blonde's overwhelming beauty. It was as if Arizona had turned up her hotness a notch since deciding to give the date a chance.

Arizona pulled a business card out of the pocket of her white coat and wrote her cellphone number on the back. "I have my daughter this weekend, but how about Monday night?"

Grace nodded, purring, "Monday sounds perfect. I look forward to it. And I'll call you," she held up Arizona's number. "Soon."

Arizona watched as the woman walked down the hallway, feeling pleased with herself for giving dating―not just hooking up, but truly dating―a second chance.

Gail turned and offered one last wave before entering her daughter's room. Arizona heaved a dreamy sigh, returning the wave and feeling like a giddy schoolgirl. Once the woman was completely out of sight, she took a deep breath and turned to leave, only to be welcomed by a sight that made her heart skip a beat.


"Mommy!"

"Sofia!" Arizona bent down and braced herself to receive the impending bearhug from the small girl who leapt into her arms seconds later.

"Oh, my sweet girl, I missed you!" Arizona hugged her as tightly as she could, revelling in the scent and feel of the tiny person she loved more than anyone else. Forcing herself away, she stood up and faced Callie.

Unblinking, Callie watched Arizona stand and met her gaze. "Hi."

Arizona raised her eyebrows in expectation, an elated smile permanently fixed to her face. "What are you two doing here so early? I didn't expect to see you until tonight."

Callie shrugged. "You asked for her back by the weekend. I figured the earlier, the better."

"Thank you."

Arizona studied her ex's face carefully, no longer able to read her like she had before.

Callie did look happy, though. Her flawless complexion glowed, and the normally light smattering of freckles across her nose had darkened, as if they'd been kissed by the sun. New York looked good on her. "Are things…?"

Callie smiled. "Things are good," she confirmed vaguely. "I, uh, I have a lot of stuff to take care of this weekend, but I can bring her down to daycare now if you have a busy schedule. I have to go talk to Bailey, anyway."

"No, I'll…" Arizona looked down at Sof, her hand instantaneously coming up to smooth straight brown hair. The thought of leaving her for even a moment was almost unbearable; and, god, she had hardly survived a week without her, so how was she supposed to withstand a whole year? "I'll set her up in my office with an intern. I can leave after rounds. Thanks again for bringing her here so early."

Callie nodded, offering a close-lipped smile, then focused her attention on Sofia. "You be good for Mommy, okay?"

"I will!" Sofia turned her head, grinning up at her mom, and Arizona immediately returned the gesture.

"I guess I'll see you Monday…and we can talk then? Work everything out?" Callie suggested.

Arizona nodded. "Sounds good."

Fearlessly, Callie leaned towards the blonde, her words tickling Arizona's ear as she whispered, "I'll take her off your hands Monday evening so that you can enjoy your date."

Arizona's eyes widened. Oh no. "You heard?"

Callie just grinned, offering a gentle wave to both Arizona and Sofia as she turned to leave. "You two have fun! I'll see you on Monday."