A/N: Ok I was half asleep when I wrote this so it may get a little… pointless… and… weird…
**Disclaimer*** Tekken is not mine.
Mishima Court.
typical court show music plays as Mr. voice man speaks, "You are now watching the Mishima Court! In this episode, we have Plaintiff Anna Williams who is sueing defendant Nina Williams for burning her favorite dress," Pauses while Anna and Nina walks in, "Defendant Nina Williams has launched a countersuit against her sister, sueing her for $300 for implaniting false memories into her head."
Lei Wulong steps in front of the people as Nina and Anna take their spots. He folds his hands before his chest and speaks, "Case 38. Judge Kazuya Mishima." He takes his place standing beside the Judge's desk as Kazuya walks in and sits down.
Kazuya looks over the folder in his hands then looks at Anna, "So, Miss Williams, Your sister burnt your favorite dress. It doesn't say how much you're sueing for. Explain your case."
Anna glances at Nina, "Yes, well I'm not sueing for money. I'm sueing for a new wardrobe!"
"So what happened?"
"I was going out to see Lee. I got in the shower and when I got out, my closet was open and my dress was missing. Now Nina's always doing this kind of thing, stealing my stuff while I'm getting ready to go out. She's very petty in that way. I naturally went to look for her to get my dress back but when I finally found her she was standing outside with a pile of ashes at her feet."
"I see," Says Kazuya, "Does she deny this?"
"No."
Kazuya raised an eyebrow, "Nina. What's your story?"
Nina frowned, "You call her Miss Williams but you call me Nina? What's with that."
"You tried to kill me."
"That's no excuse," Nina shrugged, "I try to kill everyone. I even almost tried to kill my own son."
"That's because you're a bad mother." Kazuya told her.
Nina frowned, "I am not!"
"Were you there to talk to when he got his first girlfriend?"
Nina hissed, "I didn't even know I had a son until the forth tournament! You idiot. That doesn't count! What kind of judge are you?"
Kazuya Grinned, "I'm a horrible judge but nonetheless, What I say goes. I could have you hung if I wanted to."
Nina raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, "They don't hang people anymore."
"Anything could happen in the Mishima Courtroom!" The lights dimmed around Kazuya as he glared into the camera.
Anna waved a paper, "Look! I have the receipt for the dress and photos of the ashes!"
Kazuya smiled, "Those won't be necessary, Miss Williams. I have come to my decision. Drum roll please." He giggled as Eddy Gordo comes in with drums. "Court in favor of the plaintiff. Nina, you will buy your sister a new wardrobe and then you will become a guinea pig for My new pet scientist."
Nina Growled and lunged at Kazuya, "Not again! Jerk!"
"SECURITY!"
Lei Wulong shot Nina in the leg with a tranquilizer and allowed her to continue freaking at Kazuya while she grew tired and eventually passed out. Kazuya stood up, dusting himself off with bruises all over his arms. "Damn women. Who needs em. Get the hell out of my courtroom, Anna!"
Anna runs away.
"Next!"
Lei stood in the centre of the floor while Michelle and Ganryu walked in. "Plaintiff Michelle Chang is suing Ganryu for breaking her skylight in an attempt to stalk her. She's suing for $120. The price of the glass. Ganryu claims he had fell out of a plane and it should be the pilot that she sues instead of him. He's accused of being a bad stalker. Case 39 is now in session."
Kazuya didn't even glance at the folder handed to him. "Ganryu you idiot! Never a skylight! Never! I told you last month that you should always go to the closest tree to a window! You fool!"
Ganryu lowered his head in shame. "I'm sorry your honor, but all the trees were close to rooms she wasn't in."
"Stalkers are supposed to have patience! She'd go in that room eventually!"
Michelle looked at Kazuya in shock. "The judge of my case is giving a stalker advice?! I'm telling JUN! _"
Kazuya gasped, "HANG HER!"
Lei looked at Kazuya, "Hang who? Jun?"
Kazuya turned purple, "No! Chang!"
"Julia?"
"And Michelle," Kazuya replied.
Michelle frowned, "You're not going to hang Julia too… She's not even a part if this."
"Like hell she isn't!"
"… But she isn't."
"Like hell!"
Michelle looked at Lei
Lei shrugged.
Eddy pulled out a noose and everyone stared at him.
Kazuya raised an eyebrow, "I wasn't being serious. Why do you keep a noose in your pocket."
"One day…" Eddy's eyes grew dark, "One day Tiger will drop his guard."
Everyone continued staring at him.
Kazuya smashed the gravel on the wood thing, "Order in the court!"
Everyone blinked at him.
"Order I say!"
Lei shrugged.
"Hang …. That woman!"
Eddy shrugged and hung some random old woman in the audience.
"Lei, you know what to do."
Lei shot Eddy with the Tranquilizer gun and brought the woman down.
Kazuya looked at Eddy. "When I say Hang, I don't mean it literally! Dumbass!"
Michelle sat down.
"RISE! I did not say you could be seated! Just for that! You loose the case! Go stand in the corner and think about what you've done! YOU LOOSE!"
"Lose, sir." Lei corrected.
"HANG HIM!"
Eddy walked over drowsily and punched Lei.
"Very good." Kazuya smirked.
Lei pulled out his real gun and shot Kazuya in the head.
The hole in Kazuya's head started healing, terminator style. (It's my fic, I'll do what I want) And he suddenly acquired a strange Austrian accent, "That was uncalled for… baby."
Lei blinks, "Did you just call me baby?"
"Erm… no… I was talking to… Michelle."
50 axes fly at Kazuya and stop in mid air, 2 inches from his face. (Mwahahaha!)
Some man with a wicked black coat walks in, "Kazuya, are you ready?"
Kazuya shrieked, getting all giddy, and said, still with his Austrian accent, "Morpheous! I'm ready to enter the matrix!"
"You're in the matrix you idiot. We're going to the real people city! To battle… Robots and such."
Lei shot Morpheous. Neo ran in hysterically sobbing like a lil girl, "WAHH! Not Morpheous! Nooo! I'll kill you Wulong! KILL YOU!… Um… Michelle! Kill him!"
Everyone stared at Neo.
Kazuya, still with his Austrian accent, said, "Get down!"
Everyone stared at Kazuya as he ducked under the desk. A bunch of cyborgs ran into the courtroom and Hwoarang ran in after them.
Hwoarang whistled to the doors and Armor King came, rolling a keg of beer.
"Drink up Boys, Ladies, and… Robots!" Hwoarang shouted, holding a mug into the air. Everyone except Michelle, Ganryu, and Kazuya grabbed a mug (even Morpheous, only he's kinda limping.)
Everyone started drinking and all of a sudden Armor King jumped on a table and started doing an irish jig, "Hwoarang! Hit it!"
(singing) "OOOOOHHHHH Whiskey you're the devil… (mumbles some other words to the irish drinking song that he never really understood.)
Everyone who was drinking joined in on the singing mumbles. The cyborgs joined in the jig.
Michelle glanced at the people partying, "They're not even drinking whiskey…"
Kazuya, still under his desk started shooting himself just to see the kool CG effects.
Then suddenly… the strippers arrived…
(I will end the fic here because the rest of the party is not suitable for any audiences…)
Next episode will include someone dieing and a special guest appearance made by… someone… maybe.
Assuming I will write a next episode… R&R and maybe I will!
