Widened Eyes

It has been a year since I graduated college I and I decided to spend my day off in the local bookstore. My favorite bookstore 'Cross Roads' has been my greatest escape whenever I felt so stressed from work. It was like a giant library with two huge spiral staircases like in the movies. You could pick out a sample copy used for reading and if you liked it you would get another copy wrapped in plastic. It was a very quiet place which has always been and I decided to go to the fiction section of the store. I searched for some good books to read and spotted a title that has been on my 'To Read' list for ages. I picked out the book 'Night Train to Lisbon' and started to search for a comfortable place to read.

I was about to sit in one of the empty black leather cushiony chairs but when my eyes happened to rest upon a familiar face I almost had a heart attack. His dark raven hair messy sticking out a bit on one side, those ruby red eyes traveling down the pages of the book engrossed in the words, those big pale but strong hands that I long forgotten the touch of it just simply holding the red covered book. He looked a bit older but no doubt it was him, dressed casually in an open black jacket with the sleeves rolled up and a designed t-shirt inside. He sat crossed legged in those black jeans and shiny black leather shoes which were probably Italian from that expensive men's clothing store for formal wear.

I was shocked and not mentally prepared, my eyes were just widened at the much more mature and suave version of the person that I used to know so well to the point that I actually liked him for once. He liked me first but I had no interest in him at that time, I just deemed him annoying and tried to escape from him with every chance I got. He finally got the message and left me alone but when I stared at that back that wouldn't look my way anymore, I got lonely and wished I hadn't done what I did. We both graduated high school not really interacting much with each other which was easy since he was in a different class. That was five years ago and I have forgotten about that brief torturing experience until now that his form appeared to me bringing back memories in my eyes.

He looked so successful and rich wearing all that fine clothing while I still look like a high school girl in my pink tank top and denim short pants. I was walking in my comfortable sandals with my long hair in a loose sideways bun. Yes, I do look like a kid instead of a grown up woman working for a popular tourist magazine. Perhaps if I just leave and find another spot to rest my tired legs in he wouldn't be able to look up and recognize the once girl that he used to love so passionately still looking like nothing much is going on in her life. At that moment that was what I have decided the second I got this stinging pain in my chest when I recognized him.

I quickly walked past him and started looking for another place which took me to the other side of the store which was really far; yes the bookstore was that big which is why I am glad. I didn't want to see him again; off all the people from my past that I wish I wouldn't ever see again he was one of those people. I found an empty chair in the corner and hoped that he didn't get a chance to recognize me. I was so nerve wrecked that the book I was holding was shaking in my hand. I suddenly didn't have the passion to read and just had the book open in my hands. I just stared at the pages not even recognizing what kind of words the letters were forming into. I was just too damn nervous. I do not want to see him ever; this was the last time, I prayed. For a few minutes I was finally able to calm down and get up the mood for reading.

After an hour of reading my eyes were starting to get strained so I decided to blink a few times and look up. I suddenly saw a red covered book making its way into my face being in contact with my forehead.

Thump!

"You think I don't recognize you?" were the words that came out of his mouth. His voice was exactly still the same "Just one look at me and its enough to make you rush to the other side of the store? Do you find me that repulsive or something?" His tone just now sounded hurt, I didn't really mean for his voice to sound that way. Why do I feel so guilty?

"G-Gomen, I just didn't really think you would recognize me" I answered looking down at my lap, I could hear him chuckle which irritates me.

"You may seem a bit older but with those long curly brown locks and those big eyes I instantly knew it was you. I'm just surprised you remembered me" he replied.

"Remember? What if I didn't? You would be hitting a girl with a book for no reason" I suddenly replied.

"Then I would have made you remembered" he said his face almost close to mine, I instantly held the book up to hide my blushing face "Gomen, I guess you still don't really like me" he pulled his face back giving me relief, I still don't like you? I think I'm insane to admit I started liking you ever since you started to stop liking me.

"Hey, its not that I don't like you I just don't like what your doing!" I said, he laughed.

"Ah okay, so my persistent actions is what led you to run away from me. I'm sorry but I was a desperate guy back then, I'm different now okay?" he said giving me his apologetic look which was enough to make any woman forgive him. I just looked away and said its okay.

"But boy you haven't really changed much; you still look like a high school student. I bet you have a lot of younger fans" he said sitting beside me.

"Not really, boys aren't really attracted to me" I said, he had this questioning look.

"You're kidding right? Then what do you call me? Blind? I must have had bad taste in girls when I was younger, I can't believe I liked you" he said teasingly making me clench my fists on my lap. This conversation was getting irksome, so what if I don't receive love letters? Not everyone would be a heart throb like this jerk here.

"Your annoying" I blurted, he stopped and just stared at me even though I wasn't looking at him.

"Gomen, gomen, I probably shouldn't dwell on the past. So how have you been? Seeing as your so laidback your job must be really relaxing" he said chatting like there was no tomorrow. I don't remember him to be this talkative, if memory serves right he was very moody and quiet yet he got all the girls' affections, including me at one point but it was at the wrong time, how stupid I was.

"Not really, I just work for a tourist magazine. Of course it involves a lot of traveling but I'm fine with it" I answered in a monotone voice.

"Suge! I wish I had your job! Well of course I do travel but only for business, I don't get the relaxing treatment that you do" he said, I just kept quiet listening to his voice, how much I miss it. He seemed to notice the tension and then asked another annoying question "So any boyfriends?"

"Not anymore" I just plainly replied.

"You broke up?"

"He was a jerk" I flatly replied signaling I didn't want to talk about my failed relationship which just ended in disaster.

"I see" were the only words he could muster, this time I decided to ask him a question.

"Any girlfriends?"

"None" I felt relaxed for a bit "A fiancé" there goes the tension again.

"I see congratulations" I finally said.

"It feels like we've switched roles, you've been answering in only two or three words like me when I was young" ah he finally pointed it out.

"So?"

"Since when were you cynical?"

"Don't know" I've been like this since I saw you.

"You really don't like me do you?" he asked, I finally stared at him and he seemed to have a serious look on his face when I turned around.

"Your right I don't like you" I hate you "You've been really annoying" I'm so stupid for not noticing it sooner "You just don't let me have any peace do you?" Why did it have to be that time?

"If you really feel that way" his blood red eyes bore into my head, I can't take it anymore. The more intense his eyes are the more pain my chest holds "I'm sorry for bothering you" He got up and walked away. There it is again, that painful throbbing. My eyes see only his back and I don't even notice the surroundings anymore. This is just like that time; I can also see his back from high school when he walked away from me. Actually I was the one walking away; I was the one being annoying.

"Natsume Hyuuga" I said quietly as he completely disappeared from my sight. I'm not in the mood to be out in public anymore, I want to go home. I put the book in a random shelf and just stormed out of the store heading for the bus stop. I impatiently tapped my foot while waiting and wanted to go home as soon as possible. Then as if trying to punish me, it started to rain. Damn it.