Petunia could remember the days when she was young, spending each moment with her best friend, her sister, Lily. She remembered them clearly, those days when the two used to run and leap. It had felt like they were the only ones in the world, and that nothing was ever wrong, because they were together. Lily was her best friend growing up. They were always giggling, or whispering secrets in the other's ear. It was a grand time, and nothing in the world could stop them.
Everything was perfect; until Lily found out she was special.
Petunia was always jealous of Lily. Lily had bright, curly, red locks, and marvelous green eyes, and Petunia was stuck with brown hair that was straight as a stick and dull brown eyes. Lily was wild and adventurous, and preferred to run wild outside, where as Petunia was prim and proper, dull in every form, and enjoyed the life of her mother. Lily was everything that Petunia couldn't be. Eventually, Lily received interesting news: she was a witch. The next month she was whisked away to a school of magic, learning and having a wonderful time. Their parents were so proud of had eventually cut off contact with her sister, jealousy succeeding.
So, Petunia and Lily grew their separate ways. Petunia went to a muggle school, where she met her equally dull future husband. Vernon Dursley was the proper image of a fine husband: ambitious, classy, and extremely normal. They married, like one should, when they both finished schooling. Petunia Evans was now Petunia Dursley, and she was as happy as she was miserable.
Lily made her way to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where she learned charms and spells and potions. Lily was running around, wasting her time, in Petunia's opinion. She was brilliant, top of her class, prefect, Head Girl, and teacher's pet. One day, she came home with a wickedly handsome boy with wild black hair. Petunia thought he was good-looking, but exactly the kind of riff-raff Lily would date. He was a crazy wizard, and therefore was a freak.
Lily and this boy, James, got married. Petunia was invited to the wedding, but refused to go. Twice besides Lily had tried to make amends. First was a letter inviting Petunia, Vernon, and their baby son, Dudley, to come visit Lily, James, and their baby, Harry at their home in a dastardly village called Godric's Hollow. Petunia wrote back a short note: I wouldn't want my son and husband to be exposed to freaks like your family. Don't contact me again.
Lily, of course, did contact her again. Petunia solely was invited to meet Lily in London. Lily wrote that it was urgent, and she really wanted to make amends because the wizard world was a dangerous place, and a dark wizard called Voldemort was rumored to be after Lily and her family.
Petunia didn't bother to write back that time. She laughed it off. She was not dumb enough to believe that.
The last piece of Lily that she had was that morning. When Petunia went out to put the milk bottles on the porch, there was a sleeping baby on the doorstep. She screamed and dropped the bottles. The baby's eyes opened, and there they were: Lily's eyes, paired with her husband's messy hair added wonderfully onto the baby that was staring at her. He had a bizarre lightning scar on his forehead.
"Is everything all right, Petunia?" Vernon's voice called from the kitchen.
"Yes, darling," Petunia called back.
"Harry?" she whispered as she bent down to look to see if there was a note in the baby's blanket.
The baby cooed, delighted at the sound of his name.
In the blankets, there was a note from Albus Dumbledore, explaining that the dark wizard Voldemort had killed Lily and James. Harry had survived, with just that scar on his forehead. Because Petunia was Harry's only family, he had to live with her until he was 17. He reminded Petunia that Lily loved her, and he was very sorry for her loss.
Well, there it was. Lily wasn't lying about the dark wizard, and now she was dead. Lily's son was now an orphan in her care. Fate had hit Petunia square in the face; the universe was repaying her for the self-centered life she had lived.
Lily was not dead. Lily could not be dead. Lily was so full of life, laughing, smiling, and waving her wand. Petunia would not believe it. This was some cruel trick to get her to go visit her sister.
So, keeping that in mind, Petunia scooped up the baby, picked up the note, and made her way to the kitchen.
"Sweetheart, who left their blasted child on our doorstep?" Vernon asked angrily, his face beginning to turn pink.
Without a word, Petunia handed over the note. Vernon's piggy eyes moved across the parchment until he reached the end of the note.
"Well, that's that, then. Good to get that blasted witch sister off your hands. She was trouble. I did tell you I heard some rumors around town. It's too bad we must care for her son. But don't worry, darling. He will never go to that wizard school as long as I live," Vernon said, wiping his mouth. He grabbed his briefcase, kissed Petunia, and ruffled baby Dudley's hair. "See you after work."
Vernon walked out the door. Petunia waited till she heard the car back out to look back at Harry. He was beginning to realize he was in a foreign place, with no sign of his mummy or daddy. Dudley was aiming his peaches at Harry's head. Scolding Dudley, she took his peaches and fed some to Harry.
Now, Dudley was throwing a fit. Petunia picked him up and rocked him to sleep. She took him upstairs and put him in his crib. Dudley's sleeping face was so tranquil, she felt a rush of pride.
"Lily would be so jealous," she thought.
Then, she remembered. How Lily was dead. How her son was downstairs. How Lily's son was now an orphan. How Petunia was to care for him as if he was her own. Lily couldn't have made her death a joke. It must have been true. Lily was headstrong, but sensible. She wouldn't joke about death. Lily was gone.
The pain was sudden and powerful. Lily was gone; she was dead. So many thoughts left unsaid, so many apologies never used.
Petunia felt a sudden urge to make it up to Lily. If Petunia didn't apologize in life, death would have to do. They grew up in Spinner's End, an hour drive from her home that she shared with Vernon. Impulsively, she dressed and woke Dudley. She scooped him up and walked down the stairs. She picked up Harry and made her way to the door. She fastened Harry in her car, and with Dudley on her hip, she walked over and knocked on Mrs. Figg's door.
When Mrs. Figg answered, she looked at Petunia with pity. This unnerved her a bit.
"I need you to watch Dudley while I make an errand," Petunia commanded.
Mrs. Figg took Dudley and closed the door. Petunia ran to the car and drove quickly to Spinner's End.
Maybe she should have brought Dudley. After all, Lily was his aunt. Petunia quickly decided against it. Dudley never met Lily. He didn't know her. Dudley would one day share his father's prejudice of his aunt, and he would never understand what a lovely woman Lily Evans really was. Petunia lost a sister; Harry lost a mother. They were the only ones who would realize the importance of this journey.
When they arrived, Petunia crossed and took Harry out. Through the wind and cold, they made their way to the tree Petunia and Lily used to play under. Harry must have sensed his mother here and began to cry. Petunia shushed him as they took their place underneath the tree.
"Well, Lily. I'd never thought we'd be here today. I guess we'd always known that I'd grow up, marry a boring man, and become the perfect housewife," Petunia laughed to herself. "But I'd never thought that you'd go off to a school of wizardry, marry young, and stay and raise a family. I'd never thought that we'd stop speaking to each other. But, I'd definitely never thought you'd die so young."
Tears we're streaming down her face as she clung tightly to Harry.
"I'd never thought that you'd have to leave your son with me because I'm the only living family he has.
But, look at us now. You were a talented witch; you married and had a child. I haven't spoken to you in years. And, you're dead."
Saying this made everything seem so much more real. Petunia's body racked in sobs for her dead sister and everyone's predicament. Harry looked up at her, concerned. Petunia willed herself to calm down. She took a gasping breath and continued:
"And your son is living with me now. He's beautiful, Lil. He's got your eyes. And he looks so much like James. You both did a wonderful job," Petunia sniffled. "In his letter, Dumbledore said that Harry is the reason Voldemort is gone. He escaped with only a lightning scar. You'd be so proud.
Dumbledore also said that I need to treat him like my own. But Lily, I can't. He's not mine, he's yours and James'. I can never be anything to him. You are his mother, even if you're gone. All I can be is a boring aunt with an equally plain husband and son. I'm not saying that he can't stay with me, he can! He's the only thing I have left of you, I would never deny him a home. What I'm really trying to say is that I have so many bitter feelings towards him. Why did you have to die for him? I could've lived without him, but how am I supposed to live without you? Mum and Dad are gone. I'll always resent him, and I'll hate looking into his eyes and seeing you in them. I love him, and he's my family, though. But I can't look in his eyes and not remember how sorry I am.
Lily, I am so sorry that I turned my back on you because I was jealous. I am sorry for everything I said. I am sorry that I didn't come to your wedding. I am sorry that you and your husband died and left Harry an orphan. I'm sorry for not defending you when Vernon spoke ill of you this morning. And I'm sorry that I'm not brave enough to love Harry like he deserves. I'm sorry that Vernon will make his life hell. But mostly I'm sorry that you're dead and I'm not."
Petunia sat utterly still, waiting for an answer. The answer did not come. So, instead, Petunia resolved to crying herself out in Harry's hair. Harry cried, too. Then, some time later, when they were both out of tears, she stood up.
"Well, that's that. Goodbye, Lily."
Petunia turned quickly and made her way to the bottom of the hill where the car was parked. She fastened Harry in and made her way back to Privet Drive.
Petunia picked Dudley up from Mrs. Figg's house and thanked her. They all came back home, and Petunia set Harry and Dudley down to play. She took a shower to disguise her puffy eyes and got dressed. Then, she walked to the kitchen to prepare dinner for when Vernon would come home from work. She would never tell a soul about her journey with Harry that day.
When Vernon came home, they exchanged a kiss and began to eat dinner like every other day. But, it wasn't every other day. Because it's not every other day lose someone you love and pretend like you haven't. Because every other day doesn't hurt as much as this one does.
