Warning: This South Park Fan fiction story has very foul language, implied sexual situations and terms, implied drug use and a great mass mockery that the show is widely known for over the years. That I don't own or created South Park by Trey Parker, Matt Stone and Comedy Central because I write my own stories between season breaks .It is intended for mature reading if you find it too vulgar to read that you have the choice to do not read it at all or do not a give a crap at all which I hope that you will be enjoy it and laugh your ass off.
Medicinal Girls Scouts Cookies
Chapter 1: A War of Words
One slightly mild morning had just settled over the small mountain town of South Park that is nestled in the foot hills of the jagged Rockies mountains which spring break for the local schools had begun early than usual this year. But something is in the air right now which it making Cartman worried about something sinister is going their way, thanks to the state voters who had passed the most silly state law ever to allows recreational use of pot which it means it could bring Cartman's most hatred pet peeve: hippies to town to get high because it is an excuse to get high legally. Cut to Cartman's house inside his bedroom, up by his desk area where a large map of South Park was hanging on the wall and a mess of white and colorful papers was laying on his desk that is when he had realizes that South Park is facing another hippie infestation right now.
"Gawd, No, not fucking hippies again… That I'm must warn the mayor and the city council about the possible another hippie infestation, if she does not have me thrown out of the meeting just like the last time." Cartman said while he was looking down at the reports of hippies' activity is currently rising right now that he had got from the local police's arrest log for public nuisance calls. That is when Liane came walking through the door with the cordless phone in her hand which she was talking to her father back in Nebraska.
"Eric, your grandfather is on the other line which he wants to say hi to you right now?!" Liane said which Cartman rolls his eyes with great annoyance that he has bigger problems to deals with like stopping another hippie infestation right now.
"Ugh, Gawd damnit, mem….. That I've a town to save from another hippie infestation disaster right now?!" Cartman cries out in great protest while he was putting his purple tie around his neck and blue blazer coat on.
"But Eric you should talk to your grandfather once awhile?!" Liane said in a very annoyed tone voice as her young and tubby son grabs his laptop from his desk.
"But I've more important things to do right now, instead of talking to grandpa for Gawd's sake!" Cartman angrily snarls back at his own mother which he was walking out of the room at that moment.
"I'm sorry, dad that Eric had just left the house for town a few minutes ago?!" Liane spoke into the phone to lie about her son's whereabouts to her own father at this second.
Outside of Cartman's house which fat ass was walking off his porch when he was cornered by his so-called friends that he was in a hurry to get to downtown to alert everyone about the new hippie threat which it is rising in the area right now?
"Hey, fat ass….. Where the hell you are going to right now that I ask?!" Kyle asked which he has a very dumbfounded look had formed on his face.
"Yeah, Cartman…. That I've thought that we're going to Whistlin' Willy's for a day of fun?" Stan replied in a very confused tone voice.
"Well, guys that something has come up right now which I'm need to alert the town about a possible threat?!" Cartman snarls back with great annoyance as he looks very scornfully at his friends.
"Like what, Cartman to screw everyone with another money scheme of yours." Kenny angrily mumbles loudly.
"Let see Kinny, it is my most fear besides the Jews… It's those Fucking dirty and smelly tree hugging hippies!" Cartman said which he knows that his anti- Semitic comment has pushed Kyle's berserk button once again.
"Goddamnit … Cartman, you are an anti-Semitic fat fuck!" Kyle said while he was angrily gritting his teeth at Cartman big time.
"That I've no time to argue with you fucktards right now, because I've a town to save from hippies yet again?!" Cartman said as he walks away from them.
"Yeah…. Like Mayor McDaniels will listen to you fat boy, because the many things that you had done to her all these years!" Stan angrily shot back at him at that moment.
"Uh, why screw you hippie, and why don't you go hug a tree!" Cartman said in an angry shriek as he looks back at Stan and gives them the middle finger before he continues with his quest.
"Boy, I'm really wanted to see Mayor McDaniels chokes him out, one of these days you guys!? Kenny said with a light laugh under his breath.
"Kenny, pretty much that everyone in town wants to do that to that fat fuck including me?!" Kyle added.
"Guys, why the hell do we still hang out with that fat fuck any way?" Stan asked.
"Dude, I don't know why?" Kyle said while rolling his eyes at him.
"Can we go to Whistlin' Willy's now you guys?!" Kenny mumbles loudly which you can hear the boredom in his voice and the growling of his stomach at that moment.
xxx
But is a very different story at South Park City Hall inside the private council chambers which an emergency council session was coming on right now. Because Mayor McDaniels had gotten some very disturbing news from her top ranking officers: BarBrady and Yates who came to her to warned about the hippies who are loitering in the park plus becoming a public nuisance to everyone with their hippish crap that is making Mayor McDaniels very nervous with a possible another hippie jam fest which it is bringing bad memories back to her that almost had cost her own life by her hand for the guilt for fucking up royalty with the last one, but this time she don't let it happens again.
"Alright, people who the reason I've called this emergency session of the city council for possible another hippie infestation with this new state law that legalizes recreational use of marijuana?!" McDaniels said, after clearing her throat which she was seated at the head of the long boardroom table which all the leading citizens on each sides of her and BarBrady was seated at the end that is when Randy looks stunned which he supports this new law because that medicinal pot was outlawed in the city due from that dangerous shootout between the police and Colonel Sanders 'goons.
"Hey….. Wait a minute did you say another hippie infestation, mayor?" Skeeter replied which he raise his brow at the mayor's startling statement.
"Yes… I did, Skeeter which hippies are showing up in town for one reason only to get high because it is legal here now?!" McDaniels commented back in a tone of annoyance and anxious mixed into her voice while sitting there.
"Whoa….Whoa…. Whoa….. Wait a damned minute, what is the problem with recreational use of pot which it is legal in the state now?!" Randy protested while he stood up from his seat which everyone just looks at him very funny and the mayor just sat there and rolling her eyes at him.
"I thought that federal law overrules the state law all time which pot is still illegal in the country?" Linda Stotch said in a great confused tone, as she looks at everybody's faces at that moment.
"Yes... Mrs. Stotch, it is still illegal at the federal level which all these years that I've told your children that drugs are bad even though we had passed this immature law to tell them to do drugs, m'kay?!" Mr. Mackey said.
"Let's see Marsh that pot makes you fucking stupid and raise crime rate sky- high to violent crimes and robbery which I don't want in this town at all?!" McDaniels said in a very scornful tone while she looks at Marsh.
"Why Gawd… You guys are such buzz killer which I'm leaving now?!" Randy said while he was walking out which Mayor McDaniels was sighing heavily to herself with disbelief.
"Well, I see that another useless city council meeting had gone down the drain once again which I'll be in my office for the rest of the day to work on my paperwork?!" McDaniels said which she is pissed as she grabs her black Princeton Alumni mug to heads back to her office.
"Hey… Johnson, what wrong with her right now?" Gerald asked while the mayor's right-handed was getting his folder that was resting on the table where he was seated at.
"Well, she had been like this all morning after BarBrady and Yates had told her about the latest crime rate stats and arrests of hippies that are slowly going up are making her into a very complete nervous wreck right now?" Johnson commented in a very concerned voice on his boss and close friend whose stress level that gone through the roof with worry of hippies and troublemakers at all time high that are when BarBrady had overheard the conversation.
"Oh, no….. That I didn't mean to upset you, Martha?!" BarBrady said in a sad low tone voice as he had sneaked up to her office to see her.
Up in the mayor's office which Mayor McDaniels was pacing back and forth in the middle of the room which she was smoking a cigarette to calm her nerves down when BarBrady came walking on her at that moment.
"Goddamnit, George….You scared the hell out of me?!" McDaniels said in a panicky yell as she turned around to look at him which he scared her as he put his hand on her shoulder after he closes the door.
"Uh, geez whiz, Martha that I'm sorry for scaring you like that which yelling at me only hurts my feelings?!" BarBrady said as he back up on to the wall in fear and almost in tears which that is when she calm down when she looks at him and had decided to calm him down by stroking his hair and face .
"I'm sorry which I'm being a bitch to everybody that the news of hippies in town is making me into a complete wreck right now?!" McDaniels said which she was starting to cry as she was resting her head on his broad chest and he was hugging her for comfort which that is why she loves him and Johnson, because they shows their support through the good and bad times.
"Martha, it is okay that you're a strong woman?!" BarBrady said while he was stroking her back to get her calm down which it works.
"Thanks, George that I'm really needed that?!" McDaniels said which she kisses him on his right cheek for a reward, and walks back to her desk at that moment that is when Cartman came rushing into the room while the security guard and Johnson tried to stop from entering the room but failed big time." Oh, crap….. Not you again, you little punk….So, you've two minutes to state your case starting now?!"
"Mayor McDaniels, we have a major problem in the town which it is fucking hippies are coming to town again for the reason of that state law that could lead to another hippie jam fest?! Cartman said in a frantic tone voice which he looks worry at the seated yet silent mayor.
"Kid, we know about those damned hippies that we are on it right now?!" McDaniels said as she looks at Cartman.
"Yeah sure, mayor just likes the last jam fest that you had signed for?!" Cartman protested his plea which he had remembers the last near disastrous jam fest that almost destroyed the town for her false hope to boost the town economy.
"Well, kid that I'm not old Mayor McDaniels, who used to sign everything with no regret or look at the other way anymore which she had died during that festival?!" McDaniels said while she was thinking back at that moment when she had pulled the trigger and fired which she had rose up just like a phoenix that was reborn from the ashes and embers.
"Really? That you're still a bitch, Mayor?! Cartman said which he was being a smart ass to her which she got pissed.
"Get out of my office now, you little punk!" McDaniels hollers out to show her disapproval toward him while she was looking at BarBrady then at Johnson.
"Mayor, I'll get him out of him as you wished?!" Johnson replied while he came around her desk, and grabs him by his collar of his coat to drag him out.
"Gawd damnit... This shit again which it is really nice to fuck us all once again, mayor!" Cartman screams back into the room while Johnson was trying to get him free from the doorway which he was holding on to for his dear life.
"God...I'm fucking hate that little bastard with a passion?!" McDaniels said to herself as she continues to write stuff down at that moment.
To Be Continued
Author's note: The name is a pun for Medicinal Fried Chicken which it is based on a actual news story in Colorado where Girls Scouts selling cookies at pot clinic and mocks of the new state law. Plus it mixes Medicinal Fried Chicken and Die Hippie, Die along with multi side stories plots.
