Reviews and scores
Yukio_Sora/ score 8/10
The story so far is really good and has a good plot setting to it, just some minor mistakes, but there simply. I love the way it is written and such, hope that the story continues and can't wait until the end to find out what happens to Kyle and his beloved family.
kitsura/ score 8/10
It has a very nice setup for a horror theme. The characters were described well and it makes you worry about the wife and daughter.
Sirivus/….idk what rating too lazy to score
It's a nice story and plot for horror theme. Maybe more descriptive detail in the scenes and settings? Don't be afraid to look up some fancy words in thesaurus' and dictionaries. Also some minor grammar errors
Other than that, it's great! Can't wait to see upcoming chapters
EVIL SHADOWS
EVIL HAZARD
A man by the name of Kyle, his wife Sophia, along with their daughter Natalie are on a road trip, heading towards New York. Along the way, they come across an old, run-down mansion in the forest, they don't know it is the same mansion that caused all truths to be unveiled. When the rest of the family go missing, Kyle searches for them until he has an unexpected encounter with the murderous Williams family, who wish nothing more than to kill him. Kyle must fight for his family, and the truth that ends it all.
EVIL SHADOWS
EVIL HAZARD
CHAPTER 1: ROAD TRIPPING
August 17th, 2:00 pm | heading toward New York City
The car drove down the road that laid before them, like a tarmac ribbon; though, one that had been worn over time. A white line ran down the center, relatively unbroken compared to the scarred and potholed concrete, dividing the forest. It was just pass midday, as a man with dark coiffured hair in his early twenties drove the car, his name was Kyle. He smiled as glanced in the rear-view mirror, to find his ten year old daughter asleep on the backseat, she was a beautiful little girl with long, dark, wavy hair, and her name was Natalie. Beside him, was his wife Sophia, the love of his life. She looked out the window, the family were heading to New York for the weekend to meet Kyle's friend, Eric , who worked for a company that Eric wouldn't tell him about. Kyle looked ahead at the long road to come, it was eerie, not a single car, nor a single sound. Isolating...
"I wonder why it's only us?" Sophia questioned quietly.
"I don't know.. maybe it's not that busy." Kyle replied.
"New York City will be." Sophia stated, as Kyle kindly agreed.
"Eric has been through so much," Sophia said with sympathy.
"Yeah I know, but he never contacted me when the accident in that county took place, you know?" Kyle said.
"He was probably just busy." Sophia said
One year ago, a small county in New York was suddenly reported to have many deaths during that night. There were very few survivors, the cause was a new unknown virus that infected the whole town. The government however said the virus was under control, it increased their intellect, but lowered their mental state. The conspiracy theorists who believed it was a company called R.A.I.N that may have been involved.
Kyle continued to drive at around 70mph.
"I heard Eric had a daughter." Sophia began to say,
"Her name is Evan, she's adopted from Pine Sun after her family wasn't found in the accident."
"At least she has a home now, a family that loves her... and potential friend with Natalie?'' Kyle said with a smile.
"Yeah," Sophia said barely smiling,
"Natalie has mostly been independent lately."
"I should probably call Eric ahead of time." Kyle said
"No honey, wait until Natalie is awake from her sleep" Sophia said quickly.
Kyle nodded with understanding.
"Ok, I will, besides maybe Evan can talk to Natalie before we get there."
Natalie starred impatiently in the backseat.
"Give it another 10 minutes" Sophia said quietly
The road seemed to continue for what seemed like forever, Kyle didn't need a GPS, for he knew how to get to New York city. After awhile Sophia spoke up interrupting the silence in the car.
"How long is this forest?" Sophia asked
" I don't know but-"
The car hit something that was in middle of the road, Kyle immediately slammed on the breaks, causing him to intensely lost control of the vehicle, the car began to swerve out of control and Kyle couldn't contain it. Sophia screamed and Natalie woke up in a natural panic, and started crying when the car hit a tree and began to spin. Finally, after a heart palpitating experience they came to a sudden halt.
Kyle steps out of the car first, dazed and confused as to what just happened. Sophia helps Natalie out of the car, making sure she isn't injured.
"Mommy, what just happened?" Natalie asked quietly, and frightened with a slight stutter.
"Nothing dear, just a small car accident" Sophia said dazed and breathing heavily, she was trying her best to keep Natalie calm.
"I lost control of the whole damn car and-"
Kyle's door opened by itself unexpectedly, but no one was there to open it.
"Whats is going on?!" Sophia asked, in trepidation.
Kyle looked around, still dazed and confused.
"I don't know.'' he answered, still shook from the experience.
Kyle had a few mild bruises, but luckily nothing serious. Sophia's only goal was to keep Natalie calm, until she noticed what seemed to be a building in the distance.
"Maybe we should head towards that house, they might be able to help us.'' Sophia suggested.
"Yeah, it's getting dark, we should try and get there before nightfall.'' Kyle agreed with Sophia's suggestion, as they started walking towards the building.
August 17th, 2:54
They arrive at what seems to be a mansion, Kyle approaches the main entrance.
"This is it then." Kyle stated, slightly nervous.
"Knock on the damn door then.'' Sophia exclaimed.
Kyle knocks on the door anxiously.
But there was no answer, he attempted to knock louder, but yet again there was no one.
"I'm going to look around, I'll be back." Kyle said curiously as he started to walk away.
"You're not leaving without us!" Sophia exclaimed, grabbing Natalie's hand to catch up with Kyle.
"Let's be careful, we don't know what could happen," Kyle said with caution.
They investigated the area, attempting to find another way inside.
They came across a back door, which unexpectedly opened by itself.
"Mom? Are we going to be okay?" Natalie asked her mother, with concern.
"Yes dear, everything will be fine." Sophia replied with a slight tone of doubt in her voice.
"Should we go inside? There-" Kyle was suddenly cut off by Sophia.
"Are you crazy?! I don't want to go in just to get shot!" Sophia exclaimed.
"It's ok," Kyle reassured his wife.
Sophia was silent after, then nodded doubtingly. They slowly entered the house, unsure of what to expect. Inside it looked very nice and it was an amazingly decorated living room.
"Hello?" Sophia called out,
"Is anyone home?"
"Welcome home, please take a seat," a dire voice announced from the darkest part of the room.
Suddenly, a sharp pain hit them, they felt drowsy as they all collapsed.
Kyle saw a tall figure, someone in what looked like a white suit in the darkness, he gave a reassuring smile to Kyle.
"I am glad to have you as our new test subjects, Mr.[last name]."
"W-what?!" Kyle exclaimed, dazed and confused yet again.
"Doesn't matter, don't worry, " the man said
"I'm Isen, and that's the only thing you need to know. R.A.I.N. is our hope."
"R.A.I.N.?" Kyle asked, as he slowly lost consciousness.
THE FAMILY AWAITS
