A/N: how I love Shules. And as far as I know, Juliet is still in the dark about Shawn's big secret. So, I thought to myself, when would be the moment, the make or break moment, when Shawn has to tell her. Because, we all know, he has to tell her sometime...

Disclaimer: I don't own Psych or Plug In Stereo. I also don't really remember what Juliet's apartment looks like.

You seem quite nice for a girl with good looks,
And I'm the kind of fella that'll make you feel better when your life gets shook so,
Give it a chance,
According to your plan,
I bet I'm not number one on your list to kiss but,
Please understand

-Oh Darling (feat. Cady Groves) by Plug in Stereo

When Juliet walked into her apartment that night, she gasped. The lights were out and the place was filled, wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling with dozens, hundreds of candles.

"Shawn," she breathed, her eyes trying to take in everything at once. "How..."

Shawn smiled a small, strangely serene smile. He stood in the middle of the room, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans and it was strange to see him so still.

"There was a huge going out of business sale at World 'O Candles." He joked half-heartedly.

It wasn't really funny but Juliet laughed all the same. He had that effect on her.

"Shawn, c'mon. What is all this?" She asked, walking up to him.

Shawn sighed, giving her that deeply affectionate look he only showed when he knew no one else was looking. The one that made butterflies flutter in her stomach and said 'I told you so' to all the mean girls she knew in high school.

"Jules," was all he said, pulling her close and tucking errant blonde hairs behind one ear.

"Yeah?" she asked back, just as quietly.

He seemed to struggle a moment for words and she watched the war raging behind his eyes, wondering what it was that he was so afraid off.

"I have a question for you." He said finally.

Juliet tried not to hold her breath as he, without taking his eyes off her, reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box.

"Shawn." She said again, covering her mouth, her eyes sparkling, ready, so ready for this.

"But before I ask, before you answer," Shawn cut in, bringing her gaze up to his questioningly, "I need to tell you a story."

Juliet started to laugh. "Shawn, you cant be serious." She'd been waiting for this moment her entire life, he couldn't possibly think now was a good time for jokes.

"Please, Juliet."

It was the use of her full name, not the serious tone or unusual sincerity in his eyes, but the lack of his favored nickname that brought her up short.

She nodded, her eyes automatically dropping back to the box he'd yet to open.

"Okay. I'm listening."

Shawn sighed again and it occurred to her that she'd never seen him nervous before. Scared yes, a couple times, but never nervous. And she decided that this emotion didn't suit him any more than the other one did.

"Lets, uh, sit down," he motioned with his head toward the small cherry wood table that was set up in the limbo space between the living room and kitchen. Juliet did, watching Shawn take a seat beside her, his hands trembling as he set the small, unopened black box on the table in front of them.

"Jules," he began again, reaching out to take her hands and fold them between his. "I love you. You know that," he smirked slightly, "But I do. I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. And I...I want to spend the rest of my life with you Jules. But, um, there's something I've got to tell you first. And I hope..." he sighed, but bravely kept his eyes locked on hers. "I just hope you can forgive me."

Juliet started to frown, her eyebrows creasing worriedly. "Shawn what-"

"Please," he cut her off quickly, desperately, "please just let me finish."

With An uncomfortable weight settling in her stomach, Juliet nodded.

Shawn sighed, his eyes remaining unwaveringly locked on hers.

"A little over five years ago, I was between jobs, as usual. Back in Santa Barbara for a few years for the first time since graduating." he cleared his throat, and Juliet frowned slightly at the tension in his shoulders and eyes. She squeezed his hands, but found she wasn't all that comforted when he squeezed back.

"I was getting by calling in tips for the police while I looked for a new job. I would just watch the evening news, listen to the report, hazard a guess and call it in. More often than not I was right and I got paid for it."

Juliet frowned fully. Where was he going with this?

"One day Lassiter decided to bring me in and question me. He was convinced I was pulling off these elaborate inside jobs...that somehow I was part of it. Jules, I swear I wasn't and I didn't know what else to do. They were going to put me in lockup with this behemoth and a crazy looking guy with very questionable hygiene and I couldn't see a way out, I just said the first thing that came to mind." he said in a rush, suddenly desperate that she understand.

She didn't.

"Shawn, what are you trying to tell me?"

He sighed again, reaching out to take her hands in his.

"I'm telling you, Juliet, that I'm..." He paused, swallowing several times and Juliet tilted her head, urging him silently to continue.

"I'm not psychic." He said finally, staring at her wide-eyed. Waiting with his heart in his ears for her response.

Several moments of pregnant silence passed before Juliet moved.

Whens he did it was not what Shawn was expecting.

"Oh Shawn. C'mon." She said between a sudden bout of giggles, "You actually expect me to believe that?" she asked, waiting to see that trademark 'I'm smarter than you but I'm not going to say so' smirk of his.

It never came.

"Yeah Jules," he said, deathly quiet. "Every word."

Juliet stared at him a moment longer and then, seeing the truth in his eyes, she pulled her hands from his, suddenly feeling ice cold. Standing, she turned away, and didn't see Shawn fold his hands and press them to his lips, the way he always did when life had suddenly gotten too real, too heavy for him. His eyes fell closed, a look of resigned misery written on his face.

"Jules I-"

"No, Shawn…this is crazy I mean..." she shook her head and then her eyes widened, remembering. She whirled around to look at him. "That first day. At the diner, the day we met, how did you know all those things about me?"

Shawn looked pained by the question.

"I noticed some cat fur on your shoes and saw your parents picture in your bag. The rest is just good guessing." he admitted.

Jules stared at him, mouth hanging open in shock.

"Its been five years Shawn...so many cases...how?"

"My mom has a photographic memory, so do I." He explained quietly, the way one might to a frightened animal, "and all my dad ever wanted was for me to be a cop. He taught me everything he knows, whether I liked it or not. And I guess I kind of took to it, like it or not. And the cases they're like puzzles, or math problems I used to do in school. Its just a matter of connecting the dots, the pieces just come together in my head."

Juliet was still staring into space in shock. Her left hand had moved to cover her mouth and Shawn stood, reaching out to her.

She stepped out of his reach, suddenly locking her eyes to his.

"All these years Shawn. Why didn't you tell me?"

Again, Shawn looked pained.

"I couldn't Jules. At first, I couldn't because I knew you would have to say something to the chief, and I'd be out of the only job I've ever loved and every case I'd worked on would be called into question. And then we were dating and it was new and everything I'd ever wanted and I didn't want to ruin it by telling you that I was a lie." he swallowed hard," and then I realized I loved you. Truly, madly, deeply." Juliet's mouth almost quirked at that. She loved Savage Garden.

"And I realized I couldn't live another day without you, and I also couldn't live another day lying to you. I had to choose."

With another one of those small, foreign, sad smiles, Shawn turned back to the table and opened the box, looking at the sparkling diamond ring inside with hunched shoulders for a moment before placing it carefully back down on the table.

"I choose you Jules." He almost whispered, "If you'll still have me."

Shawn waited a few seconds, hoping to hear Juliet's smooth voice. Telling him she loved him. Telling him she didn't care about all that. Telling him 'yes'.

But silence was all that met him and he gave a short nod, accepting her silence for the answer it was and glanced once more at the box before showing himself to the door.

TBC