Written for 2018 lovefromOQ as a speciall as gift for ouater ! Hope you like it and enyoy it!

Unbetaed … sorry … Mistakes are mine and only mine


"Mom, you'll be there, won't you?" Regina hears her daughter ask the same question for the third time, and it seems the young woman is really excited because each time she has asked, Regina has answered that she'll be there and won't miss it for anything in the world.

Her daughter's answer on the other end of the phone comes immediately "Awesome! Daddy and Henry we'll be there too. I'll just have to check with Roland if he still can make it, and we'll be complete … hmm, if you want you can take Graham just text me so Kyle can make the reservations for all of us".

"Okay sweetheart, don't forget to give me the name of the restaurant, and the time I should arrive like … hmm ….a week in advance. I'll think about taking Graham. I'll … I'll let you know, and say thanks to Kyle". With that the conversation is almost finished, and Regina has to deal with mixed feelings.

Her little girl, Lila, just called to break the news that her boyfriend Kyle proposed the day before, and wants to invite Lila's family to dinner the next month for a formal engagement. Her princess engaged by 22 … a lot to deal with!

Regina was not prepared to hear this news. It isn't that she doesn't approve Kyle, on the contrary, she does like him, but Lila and Kyle have only been a little more than a year together, and … well… maybe Kyle might be ready for this… he has lived more, he's eight years older than Lila, but Regina doesn't want her daughter to tie the knot so soon. She thinks again, and sighs in relieve when she realizes it's only an engagement. She hopes they won't settle the wedding for an early date, and that they wait some time to take the next step. But still an engagement is a big deal for a woman Lila's age, and she firmly believes that no woman, nowadays, should think of marriage in her early twenties.

At the thought of her daughter possibly marrying at such a young age, Regina can't help but think about her own marriages, and how things turned out to be for her, because, among other things, she got married, for the first time, just after finishing college at 23, when she was beginning to explore the world … and, not by choice, well, being honest she chose to marry, she chose the man, but she didn't choose the time. The timing was so wrong. She married because she was in a hurry with an unexpected pregnancy. And, well she did love her partner, was in love with him, both were, but her experience proved that love isn't the only requirement for a successful marriage and that there are, in fact, other conditions, such as the reach of personal growth on both sides.

And, as if it wouldn't have been enough to have a failed marriage after eleven years of common life, she made the same mistake some years after her divorce by marrying again, only to discover in less than two years, that it had been a bad choice … so, she went again through the same path. At least the second time she didn't have any children with her husband, so the divorce run smooth, without the issues of shared custody that made the whole process much harder the first time.

Well, to be truthful it wasn't that her first divorce had been an ordeal, but it had been very painful to dissolve a marriage when both spouses still loved each other but had been unable to sort out other matters. So, both of them had been very receptive to the other one's needs and had put the children's wellbeing first. Still, it had been a hard, heartbreaking and very sad experience.

These thoughts make Regina think that perhaps her story is about to repeat with her daughter. However, she knows it isn't fair to pass her fears (inflicted by her own bad decisions, bad timing, bad luck or whatever) to Lila, and tries to focus on the illusion of watching Lila walk down the aisle, and on the chance to plan a wedding along with her, something that Regina didn't share with her own mother.

And in fact, the only thought of her mother adds extra stress and bitterness to the blast of emotions she is already feeling. Regina remembers how during her marriage she never had any support from her mother; and, on the contrary, had been subjected to constant reproaches that made evident how her mother felt about her. Oh, Regina, I can't believe you're pregnant again! ; If I'd only known that you would have ended changing diapers and cooking baby food, I wouldn't have spent the fortune I did on your education! ; I can't believe you're happy with your life as a housewife!

At least, the experience with her own mother taught her, firsthand, the type of behavior she should avoid to build a healthy relationship with her children. So, she knows that now, she has to support her daughter.

Still trying to focus on those things she's nervous, and since the call with Lila ended she feels there's something more bothering her, and she knows exactly what, or more precisely who, makes her feel that way. It's Robin Locksley.

And it's odd, really odd, that at the only thought of a man Regina feels like a teenager, overwhelmed and with little control over her emotions, when she's a confident forty-five year old woman.

Who would have guessed that Regina Mills, the successful, well-known lawyer and recent associate of one of the most important law firms in Storybrooke becomes a nervous wreck at the only mention of her ex-husband?

She tries to think about the rational reasons behind those feelings, and maybe it's just that Robin has been a friend, a lover, a husband for eleven years, and the father of her three children; but, now he's only her ex-husband and has had that same status for a long time.

Or, maybe, the reason is that it has been so long since the last time Regina saw him. If she remembers well it was the day Roland, her younger son, left for college, like a year ago, and, in fact, it's been a year since she hasn't stopped thinking about Robin. That time had been so special in some many ways.

It felt familiar, intimate, it made her feel as if they hadn't been apart from years, there were some tender gestures, a lot of care for each other, closeness … all of that relived the feelings she once had for him, or maybe those feelings have been always there, and Regina refused to accept that she never got over her first love.

Nonetheless, Regina thinks that what scares her the most is that she knows very well that her first marriage didn't end because of lack of love. It ended because of lack of other things, important things needed for co-habitation and personal development, indeed, but not love… love has always been there; so much so, that during the first years of their divorce, it had been very difficult to put aside the feelings and the attraction they both still had for the other one, and there was a time where their relationship as exes was taken to another level, a more intimate one.

And this had complicated things for the both of them, because for some years this extraordinary relationship between two people that once were married, had been the reason that none of them could recompose their lives with other partners … that is, until Daniel happened, about four years after Robin and Regina's divorce.

Regina and Daniel met during a postgraduate course Regina had decided to take to try to get a promotion in her job at the time. Both were spending a lot of time together, Daniel had been a great support, and a good fellow student but it was evident that he wanted something more; and it just happened that Regina was feeling that something romantic was missing in her life, and it had already passed enough time to be over Robin, and she really thought she was … she really believed that. It seems Daniel took advantage of the perfect timing in which Regina was receptive, vulnerable, and in need to feel something different.

Regina and Daniel's romance was intense, and things developed very quickly. In little more than six months he proposed and to everyone's surprise she accepted. But the biggest shock for those that knew her well was that she married Daniel in less than a year. A torrid romance, indeed.

Regina has always known that her romance and marriage to Daniel, was very difficult to accept for Robin. Above all, because hers and Robin's relationship had been very friendly since their divorce, and after marrying Daniel she felt everything changed. And well, what was she expecting? Of course things would change after marrying someone else. No more rendezvous, no more school plays or meetings in which both of them attended together, no more time shared between the two of them, no more playful smiles … Now, all those years later, she thinks that maybe that's how it should have been from the beginning, and perhaps it wouldn't have hurt that much when Robin abruptly disappeared from her life.

But as soon as the intensity of the honeymoon phase and first months of Regina and Daniel's marriage was over, Regina began to feel a void in her life and the illusion and bliss she once had, faded away. She focused her energies on her children and on work, and put Daniel aside.

Once, someone very wise had said to her that a happy, enduring marriage is a very difficult thing to achieve even though if there is love enough, so just imagine how hard it would be to preserve a marriage without love. And that day she got the answer she was seeking for: Her marriage to Robin lasted eleven years because, even in their darkest moments, there had been love. Her marriage to Daniel never lasted, because it was built on the illusion of love, but not in love itself.

But it seems she always has the wrong timing, because when her marriage to Daniel ended, and she became a free woman again, Marian, a beautiful young brunette, appeared in Robin's life.

However still with Marian in the picture, Regina felt better by herself and learning to cope with being in love with a man that was taken … and more difficult even, a man that she had to see on a regular basis and that once had been there for her to love.

So, it seems Lila's call had opened up some old wounds, regrets from the past, and a lot of what ifs.

With those thoughts in her mind, Regina turns off the lights of her big house, now with an empty nest, and goes to bed, just hoping that the next day would be a better one.

##################

There are few things in life that make Robin Locksley light a cigarette again after years of quitting that nasty habit, and after talking on the phone with his daughter, he can't help but seek the box of cigarettes he keeps in the kitchen just for a rainy day. He heads to the backyard with a lighter, a cigarette and a glass of whiskey … He has so much to think about.

He lights the cigarette and, with the first hit, he feels the warmth of tobacco fill him. Afterwards, he drinks a generous sip of whiskey; then, another one closing his eyes to feel the liquid running through his throat until it reaches his stomach.

As he closes his eyes, images of his life since Lila arrived to brighten it appear.

Robin remembers clearly when a 23 year old Regina told him she was pregnant, and feeling his knees go weak at the realization that he would become a father. He recalls how they both went to the first ultrasound and instantly fell in love with their baby.

With tears in his eyes, he thinks how he came up with the idea of marriage. His own words resonated in his mind now, 22 years later "Regina, you are my future. Please, think about it. I was going to propose anyway next year… it's only a little earlier. We both have finished college. I have a good job … it can be enough for the three of us to begin, while you take care of the baby, and then you can begin working again. We can go through this … together". He puts his head in his hands when he remembers Regina's eyes glowing with excitement and answering "I'm with you … always".

He recalls rushing to the hospital when Regina broke her water, and smiles at the memory of his younger self, searching for the car keys desperately (that were none to be found), and finally arriving at the hospital and realizing he had put on two different shoes.

He feels a deep emotion when he recalls the moment he heard the little cry of his daughter, just after being born. That was one of the best moments in his life, along with Henry's and Roland's birth, and his marriage to Regina.

Wow! It's incredible how a single call can have a chain effect, and make Robin think of the most important events in his life, since Lila became part of it … and along with memories of Lila, now a young woman, the memories of the eleven years he was married to Regina come to his mind.

Oh, man! Those years were, without any doubt, the happiest of his life. Watching his family expand with the arrival of his daughter and, later, with his sons, and getting to share it all with the woman he was madly in love was everything he had always wished for. He lived in constant bliss, and maybe because of that he didn't see the signs on Regina, the ones that shouted that she was not as happy as him … and was feeling frustrated with her life.

Robin knows the hardest blow for Regina came with Roland's pregnancy, and despite the happiness they both felt when their little curly munchkin was born it all came down the hill since then. Ever since their break up, he has always felt guilty for not being there for Regina. He had been so focused on escalating in his career and building a reputation as a structural engineer that he wasn't there for her when she needed him the most. So, their failure was not because of Roland or any of their children, it was because of him and Regina, but he had always carried most of the guilt on his shoulders.

After Henry's birth, Robin and Regina decided they wouldn't have more children. They both had agreed that as soon as Henry could attend daycare, Regina would reassume her professional career as a lawyer. She quit her job once, put her career on hold with Lila's birth, and never got to apply for a job because as soon as Lila was grown up enough to attend daycare, she realized she was pregnant again. And, when the second pregnancy happened, both Robin and Regina thought that maybe it wasn't that bad, because this way they could finish with children earlier, and then she could focus on her career when their second child would be a little older.

But it happened that some months after Henry's first birthday, Regina found out she was pregnant again.

Robin recognizes this third pregnancy torn down Regina. It's not that she didn't love her son because Regina has always been a loving mother, but the timing was wrong, and this pregnancy delayed Regina's reinsertion in the market field, while Robin's career continued growing up. So, what happened next was about to happen sooner or later: a divorce.

By his second glass of whiskey, Robin has taken a painful trip down memory lane. He remembers how not long after little Roland was born reproaches, hard feelings, bitterness, guilt and tiredness began to be more frequent in the Locksley's home than laughter, kisses, compliments, tenderness and passion. Co-habitation was becoming very difficult under those circumstances, and the environment for the kids wasn't the best.

He is aware now that the choice they both made, to continue their lives separate ways, had been the wisest at that time. But knowing that didn't make things easier for him during their divorce nor during the years that followed because every single day since they decided to separate, he has known that he was in love with her.

But loving someone implies selflessness, and if Regina had needed some space away from him for personal and professional growth, he would give that to her, and more than that he promised himself that he would support her regardless if they were together or apart. He owed that to her.

To say they actually went "separate ways" is an overstatement because they always were in touch, talked over the phone regularly, had lunch or dinner together only the two of them. They have worked on this arrangement, and have committed to be very communicative about their children.

Though, despite being divorced, for people not so close to them, Robin and Regina seemed like a married couple, and had been mistaken as such more than once, actually. They, both, attended school meetings, school plays where the children performed, doctors' appointments, shared their concerns and made every decision regarding their children together.

Robin sighs at those memories and remembers as well that there was a time in which they became lovers, and this only had led Robin to believe that maybe he could retrieve what he once had.

That's the reason why, when Regina began dating again Robin was devastated and regretted not listening to his friends.

Robin remembers the countless times his friend Killian tried to set him up with someone, and how he refused each time. "Mate, if you keep things the way they are with her, you'll never be able to move on" says Killian after hearing Robin's refusal to go out on a date for the third time on the month. "Killian, have you thought that maybe I just don't want to move on. That whatever it is that Regina and I have once or twice a week is better than nothing" answers Robin about to lose the little patience he has left. "Okay I get it but it's been more than two years since you broke up! How much time do you think she'll wait to begin dating? and in that moment you'll regret not having moved on".

And, it happened that Killian had been right because at some point Regina met someone, and began dating. Robin, even in his worst nightmares, never thought it could get worse but it did because Regina began a relationship that ended in marriage.

If the eleven years that Robin had been married to Regina had been the happiest in his life, well let's say that the little more than two years in which Regina dated and then re-married were a constant nightmare, one where he didn't wake up in the mornings.

Robin can assure that those years were the worst. It began with him being introduced to Daniel, as soon as things were serious between him and Regina, and during that meeting Robin couldn't hide his discomfort. Then, it got worse with Regina's wedding, when Robin had to stay with his children while the newlyweds went on their honeymoon. That time it had been so hard for Robin because he couldn't stand the only thought of someone fucking his "wife" (he still considered Regina his wife, that was the main problem), and finally had to call a babysitter for the night (and the morning after) to stay with his children because he got so drunk that the hungover lasted for the next two days.

After Regina's wedding it got even worse because Robin realized this man had become part of his children's life and, as stupid as it might sound, of his own. Robin had to bite the bullet each time he crossed paths with Daniel, and it happened twice a week: when he picked up the children from Regina's place, and when he took them back.

Now Robin smiles at this memory, and is kind of funny but back then it made him want to punch the bastard in the face because each time he rang the bell and waited for Regina … boom! Daniel opened the door with that smug smile on his face that Robin wanted to erase. It seemed Daniel was Regina's butler! Holy shit! If he recalls maybe once was Regina the one to open the door during all that time.

But God heard his prayers … well, actually half of them, because by the time Regina and Daniel broke up (and Regina was a free woman again), Robin was already dating Marian, and to be honest sort of confused about his feelings towards both women. Still, he was willing to discover what might a relationship with someone would feel after all that time, and he decided to take a chance with Marian, instead of trying to win back Regina. He recognizes now it had been a wrong call and completely unfair to Marian.

Although, despite that situation, and with Marian in the picture by that time, it was possible for Robin and Regina to recompose their relationship as ex-husband and ex-wife, as parents of three children, and as friends. They tried to return to their routine just as it was before Regina met Daniel, and it worked.

So, at least during the years that the children still lived with Regina, they continued to meet regularly. When their children were teenagers, Robin and Regina were on the same page regarding what were the children allowed to do, they both talked to them about drugs, alcohol and sex. They co-parented so well and were so communicative, that each of them supported the other one in case the children didn't like a decision one of their parents had made.

But it happened that a year ago Roland had left for college, and there was no reason to meet only the two of them to talk about their children anymore.

By the third glass of whiskey Robin is a little tipsy, and hasn't decided yet whether to call Regina in that moment or wait until the next day. He had missed her. A whole year without seeing her, only some conversation on the phone, and from that he knows that she got this new position in the law firm, that she is a recognized lawyer and that she is happy with her career. They don't share many details about their personal lives, and maybe this is the perfect opportunity to catch up, besides he wants to know Regina's thoughts on Lila's engagement to Kyle.

Robin watches his watch, realizes it's a little late and maybe Regina is already in bed, so he decides to call the next day.

Yes, he will call Regina first thing in the morning.

###############

Her alarm clock starts ringing at 6:30 in the morning and a new day starts for Regina Mills but as soon as she tries to open her eyes to turn the alarm off, and fails for two consecutive times, she remembers the night before. Lila's call, the news, the memories of her ex-husband, her feelings for him … and she realizes that she has a long and difficult day ahead.

She gets out of bed, takes breakfast, showers and, when she is about to get dressed, her phone buzzes again, and thinks she forgot to turn off the alarm but that instead only delayed it. She realizes she's wrong as soon as she sees that it's not the alarm, but a call; and, when she sees who's calling, her heart stops.

"Hi Regina! Good morning. Did I wake you up?" Regina hears her ex-husband's voice on the other end of the line and realizes how much she has missed hearing that deep, calmed voice with that sexy British accent.

"Hi, Robin! Nice to hear you. No, you didn't wake me up. I couldn't sleep last night" she answers trying to hide her excitement because it has been so long since the last time they talked.

"Me neither… hmm ... I guess Lila called you".

"She did … and, well, it's not like I'm thrilled with the news, but …hmm … I think she's making at least better choices than I did … I hope she's not pregnant and marrying because of it" replies Regina.

"Oh Regina, don't do this to yourself again …" Regina hears Robin's and notes he makes a pause just to continue seconds later "… look Regina ….hmm … Lila's news really caught me off guard. I've had a really shitty night trying to get my head together, and I think I need to talk to someone who can understand what I'm feeling … hmm…. and there's no better person than you … so, I was wondering if you are free for lunch today?"

Regina listens to Robin, and it's not that it would be the first time that, while divorced, they have talked or met or had lunch or even a drink.

"I think … hmm … yes. I think I can meet you for lunch" answers Regina.

"Okay, I'll see you at the same spot as always … Around 1 pm? Does it work for you?"

She smiles when she hears him say the same spot as always. Those words give her a feeling that they share something that is exclusive between the both of them because, in fact, that same spot is where they used to meet to discuss their concerns about their children for years.

"I'll be there by that time".

As soon as she hangs up, she realizes she's running out of time for work. It's Monday, and she has that weekly meeting, so she needs to choose a proper outfit. One suitable to attend a working meeting and to see her ex for the first time after one complete year, an obviously make an impression. And, she doesn't know how, she works to be ready to leave for work, with the perfect outfit, makeup and her hair nicely done, within an hour.

Time for lunch arrives extremely slow for Regina that day.

By 12:30 Regina is looking at the screen of her monitor, alternating between an e-mail that she has read already three times before stopping right in the middle (so she still doesn't know what her client wants), and the time display on the monitor.

Since her productivity is zero by that time, she decides to go the bathroom to reapply some makeup, perfume and check her hair, and finish with work for a while. She hopes that after seeing Robin she would be able to focus on work during the afternoon, and take care of those two cases that need her attention urgently.

As she waits for the elevator, she doesn't count on Sidney Glass stopping by, and complimenting everything about her in an attempt to flirt, very badly by the way. And, that's exactly the reason for her ten minute delay.

She is grateful that the nice little restaurant is within walking distance from her office, so the walk to get there doesn't delay her more. As she enters the place, she spots Robin that's already in a table with a nice view to the street. She recognizes him from behind and notes he is having a beer as he waits for her.

As soon as she begins to walk, Robin turns his head, looks at her and smiles, and she thinks he's even more handsome than what she remembered from last year.

Robin is now 48 and has aged far too well. His hair is now mostly covered with silver tones, and he has some little wrinkles around his eyes and on both sides of his mouth, but instead of making him look old or tired, those signs of aging are the perfect touch of maturity that along with his beautiful blue eyes, dimples (that are on full display at that very moment as he smiles at her), and muscular complexion that he still shows, makes him look even more attractive.

She watches him stand up to greet her and notices how he stares at her. Regina knows him well, so she is aware that he must be trying to be subtle and not make evident that he's looking at her from head to toes, but he is failing very much so, because she catches him just when his eyes are glued to her cleavage more time than necessary, and it seems her outfit did the job. When he realizes she just caught him, he gives her that smile that makes her feel like a teenager with her first crush.

"Sorry, I'm late" is the first thing Regina says, and Robin just takes her in his arms and gives her a big, very big hug. The feeling of his strong arms around her is one of the things she has missed most about the lack of physical contact with him. Feeling safe in his arms, cared, loved ….and getting to sense his perfume. She takes note it's the same fragrance she had sensed over the years: wood, pine, forest. It seems he hasn't changed his old habits.

"Wow, Regina, you look gorgeous! Definitely the forties suit you" says Robin after both break the hug and as he gestures with his hand for Regina to take a seat, and very quickly goes to pull her chair.

"Thank you, Robin. It's really nice to see you … hmm … and being honest I must say the same about you. You look great!" answers Regina smiling and looking to his beautiful blue eyes.

As soon as they seat, Robin calls the waiter to order their food, a glass of red wine for Regina, and another beer for Robin.

Robin is the first one to talk "So? What do you think about Lila's news?" Regina isn't surprised about the first topic he addresses, because, in fact, the reason for both to be sharing a meal, is no other than Lila's engagement.

"Well, I guess we are old enough to become someone's in-laws" both of them laugh and Regina continues "Seriously, I'm not over the moon with this, but it could have been worse…. I … Every time I think about this, I think about my own choices … and, about … hmm …" she pauses trying to find the right word and at the lack of a better choice she continues "… about us".

"I know, Regina" replies Robin with a sad smile and taking away his eyes from her.

"But …" begins Regina with emphasis trying to break the sadness of the moment, because she is sure Robin is feeling some guilt "… I also know it's not fair, that because I failed, she will too".

"Regina, you didn't fail. Marriage is about two people, both of us failed … and this is something we have discussed over the years … It's not good to go there".

"You're right" says Regina visibly emotional with tears gathering in her eyes, and, in an effort to continue, she adds "So, I guess we should support Lila with her engagement … but I'll have a woman to woman talk … just in case … hmm … you know, some advice in birth control …" she closes her eyes a little as if she is thinking, and after some seconds she continues talking "… although, I think my advice might be a bit late, because she surely is already using something".

"Oh God, Regina! …. Don't go there, please… my little girl doesn't have sex and won't have until marriage… I just don't need to think in ... that".

"Ha! …. So, you forgot when we were that age?" asks Regina with a naughty look on her eyes while she bites her lower lip.

"Well, you are not precisely my daughter… so yes I do remember, but I can't think in Lila as a woman…. She's still my little girl" replies Robin trying to recompose after thinking in him and Regina, and what they were doing when Regina was Lila's age.

Robin can't help but notice that Regina is wearing an only ring in her right middle finger. It's a beautiful three brilliant gold ring that had been a gift from him, just after little Roland was born. He had given it to her as a reminder of the three precious gifts she had given him: Lila, Henry and Roland; and, had told her each brilliant represented one of their children.

"You still wear it", Robin says looking at her fingers.

"I never took it off. As complicated as things might have been between us, we made three beautiful, intelligent, caring, amazing human beings; and, I keep it as a reminder of them and their father" answers Regina, and she notes Robin is touched by her words.

Some minutes later, the waiter arrives with their food and they both begin to eat. Regina talks first, trying to break the silence "So, I guess we will be seeing each in some weeks? Lila said Henry has confirmed but she still was trying to get in touch with Roland… hmm … are you going with Marian?"

The question clearly catches Robin off-guard, he hasn't even thought about it yet. Things have been really rocky between Robin and Marian the last months, and they broke up some months ago, so he answers "Well …. No. Actually I won't take her. We are not together right now, we are trying to sort some things out and I needed some space….so, no. I'll be attending alone".

Robin notices the face of surprise of Regina as she answers "Oh, I didn't know. I'm sorry". It really seems Regina didn't know, and actually how could she have known if they haven't seen each other for almost a year.

And, as it seems Regina just opened the door to ask for personal stuff, he thinks he will take some advantage of it. "And you, Regina, will you be attending with Greg …" Robin takes a look to the side, like looking nowhere and trying to remember Regina's boyfriend's name "…hmm, no ... Gerhart, I think …. You know, your boyfriend?"

"Graham, Robin. His name is Graham, and he is not my boyfriend" Regina doesn't know why she needs to clarify that Graham isn't her boyfriend. And, the truth is that they're just friends, good friends, they go out together, if someone wants to call it a "date", that's okay, but they are not exclusive and are not even sleeping together… so to be clear Graham is not her boyfriend. This annoys her because she feels she owes Robin an explanation, and she doesn't understand why she feels like that. But still she doesn't want Robin to think that some things are what they aren't, so she continues "No. I won't take Graham because it's about Lila and her family, and Graham and I are nothing but good friends. Nothing more".

Robin can't hide his excitement upon Regina's confirmation that she is a free woman "It seems we both are going alone, what if I pick you up and we go together? What do you say?"

"Oh… Okay. Thank you Robin" answers Regina still surprised upon Robin's offer.

They continue talking, and begin to catch up on their lives, and almost without noticing they just feel more relaxed, more comfortable, they laugh at each other's jokes, they hear with attention each other's concerns, they're carefree; and by dessert their interaction is just as it used to be once, which leaves Regina wondering if she'll ever retrieve what she had once.

Little does she know, that Robin is thinking exactly the same thing.

###############

"Are you fucking kidding me?" exclaims Emma with an expression in her face that shows without no doubt how shocked she is, to say the least, with the news Regina just told her.

And Emma's state of shock must be evident because Regina realizes that Emma has stopped eating, to just stare intensely at Regina trying to find some indication if there's something she's missing.

It's Monday night, and as usual, Regina and Emma are having dinner, at Regina's this time. It's a tradition they have from some time now, they switch places on Mondays nights, and one of them prepares dinner for the other one. So, it's the perfect opportunity to share with Emma the latest news regarding Lila's call and Robin's offer.

"Well, why does this surprise you that much?" asks Regina trying to find the real reasons behind Emma's bewilderment "It's not as if we haven't seen each other before, while we have been divorced …. It's been some time, yes, since we last spent time together, but this is not something new …. And, definitely, it's not a date … we'll just be arriving together, you know, like … hmm … sharing a ride".

"Why do I have the impression that you are giving too much explanation, without being asked to?" says Emma, and she just knows how much it bothers Regina when she begins answering questions with another question.

Emma and Regina are best friends. In fact, they have been since they met in college, so Emma knows very well all details about Regina's love life's twists and turns, and she is very much aware of Regina's feelings towards her ex-husband.

"But this time, Regina, is different. It's the first time in years that you'll be together and none of you are in a relationship with someone else".

"True", says Regina "But it had happened before …. Before Daniel, I mean".

"And may I remind you where did it lead you? Directly to bed with him. Not the wisest choice…" continues Emma as she lectures Regina "… Don't you remember how that made you feel back then? Regret, confusion, hope …. Do these sound familiar?"

Why don't people mind their own business? thinks Regina to herself, and well, okay maybe it's that Emma isn't just "people" and has been just the shoulder Regina had cried on many times over her life. So, Emma is very much entitled to share her opinion and give some advice in that direct way that makes her so special.

Regina sighs deeply and tries to come up with some more reasons to excuse herself for having accepted Robin's invitation, and when she finds that there are no arguments left, she adds "Okay, Emma, and what would be wrong if I want to go with him? We both are mature adults, have no relationship with other people and have struggled enough in life …. So, what if we want to share some time together?"

"And Graham, Regina? You do have a relationship with him. Maybe not as boyfriend/girlfriend but it's obvious he wants more, and it wouldn't be fair to toss him aside because your ex-husband happens to be sort of confused with his actual relationship and boom! her ex-wife, that had been his lover after both got divorced, appears just in time to remind him what he could have had!" Emma's passionate speech has an instant effect on Regina that has just been watching Emma and couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Wow, Emma I never would have thought you'd be the one defending Graham so fiercely!" is the only thing that leaves her mouth, and before Emma can answer Regina continues "I had been very honest with Graham, Emma. He is well aware of what I'm willing to give, and it's not a relationship, least of all any commitment. He accepts it as it is …. So, I don't see how I'm harming him or this is being unfair on any level".

"I just don't want you to get your hopes up at this stage of your life, and when you finally realize this thing with Robin is just a fling, you'll lose Graham as well … that's it. I love Robin. I do. I love your children as if they were mine, Henry's my godson… I'll give the world to him…you know that, Regina… so it's unfair that you say I'm just here defending Graham…. I'm caring for you and your children".

"Don't worry, Emma…. I'll be fine"

And, with that, they drop the topic and move to something less personal like the new restaurant that opened last month, and Emma just went the other night; or, the new routine Regina began the week before in the gym that leaves her legs all sore.

And, when dinner ends, and Regina is in the quiet of her room, she just thinks that Emma just got everything wrong because there's no risk that she gets her hopes up, no … she already is hopeful about their future. It only has been one meeting with Robin to make her think what both could have again.

##############

Monday ends with no news about Robin. Tuesday begins with a text from him that she replies quickly; and, by Friday they are meeting again, this time for a drink after work.

Hi, Regina. Thanks for meeting me yesterday. I needed someone to talk. It was nice seeing you and catching up is the first thing she sees on her phone after waking up Tuesday morning, and before she gets up from bed she replies I enjoyed it too, Robin …. And, I needed someone to talk as well. She thinks that will be all, and that he is just being polite but some seconds later her phone buzzes again What do you say if we meet for a drink? You know ….you still owe me that drink ... it has been almost a year.

Regina thinks she's misreading the text, so she reads it again … and again but she's not wrong. He's not only inviting her for a drink but also he's flirting with her by bringing up the last time they saw each other a year ago, when Robin had said they should have a drink as a celebration that their three children had been accepted to college … and it had been a year … and most of all, he still remembers.

She can't take long to answer, because maybe he'll have the wrong impression that she's hesitating upon meeting him again, so she texts Ha! You have a good memory! I believe I do.

So, I guess it's a yes. Friday after work? At "The Bow"?

Regina can't help but smile as she notices the place Robin chooses. "The Bow" is a place both of them know very well, and one that brings her memories of an important time of her life. They have met there many times after their divorce and in that same place their attraction had made her fall in his arms (and his bed) for nearly a year.

She can't help but remember their last time in that place. An intense encounter that led both of them to an unusual, almost illicit, intimate rendezvous in the ladies bathroom, that they continued in his place. But that night had not ended well for them, and it had been in fact the last time both had been together.

It seems that place doesn't only have a meaning for her, but for Robin as well.

She only texts back I'll be there. Around 7pm

Friday arrives.

Just before lunch time, she receives a text from him making her wish it's 7:00 pm already, but the timing is wrong because it's only 12:30 pm, and she is in a meeting with other lawyers of the firm.

She settled this meeting with David, Tink, Neal and Sidney, trying to exclude Sidney from it but, aside from breathing on her neck five days a week, Sidney's a good lawyer, his clients have a good opinion about him, his cases are all taken care of and he's constantly following up, so that there are no surprises with due dates.

So, there she is, conducting a meeting in the Conference Room with four other lawyers that happen to be her subordinates. Her phone buzzes, letting everyone know that she has received a text. She tries to be subtle but it's difficult with Sidney watching every movement, and having his eyes glued to her almost every time. So, she takes the phone slowly, puts it beneath the table, on her lap, and looks for the notification. She realizes it's from Robin and decides to open it … because, yes, she is curious, and what would he have to tell her when they just talked the day before?

By that moment Tink is explaining the approach she'll take with the Midas' case, and well Regina should be paying attention, she's the boss … but the text is short, not even two lines, so what would be the harm to just take a peek. It seems Tink just finished talking and is waiting for Regina's approval, everyone is looking at her, but all they can see is the big smile and slight blush she has while her eyes are staring at her lap, where clearly she has her phone. And for the rest of the day, Regina has to learn to live with the looks of her colleagues that are trying to guess who put that big smile on their boss' face.

##############

Robin has only one thought, since Monday afternoon: Regina, and has been determined to see her again before the engagement dinner with Lila and Kyle. He had such a good time with her ex during lunch that Monday that he realized it had been a long time since he felt just himself, without having to behave or do things just to please others, like it had been happening almost for the last months with Marian.

He realized a while ago that he has reached a point in his life, where he needs to take choices for himself, and not for others. It had been years of doing what was best for other people. First, his children; then, his once wife; later, his ex; more recently, Marian… and he realizes that during his almost 50 years of life, his choices rarely had been about him, and about what he wanted or didn't want.

So, Robin has decided that this time will be different. He wants to seek what makes him feel alive again, happy and with hope of a brighter future, and since Monday after lunch, the person that makes him feel like that is Regina. That's why first thing Tuesday morning, he texts her. First it's a polite text thanking her for meeting him the day before but when he sees her answer, he's encouraged to invite her for a drink on Friday.

Robin would have loved to see her before Friday, but it seems it's the only day that'll work for him. Tuesday is too early, and he doesn't want to give the impression that he's desperate (although he is) but as impressions matter, it's not an option. Wednesday and Thursday, he already has plans: a night out with some of his friends; and, a meeting with one of his clients that even if it's not at night, it's late in the afternoon and possibly could make him arrive late to meet Regina. So, Friday it is.

Robin doesn't want to push her, so he just tells her to meet for a drink and avoids picking her up from her place what might make her feel like it's a real date, and when he reads her answer he's over the moon. And, it's not only that he will see her in two days, but also because she isn't bothered by his choice of place.

"The Bow", the place Robin chooses, is a pub for people who want to enjoy the typical English ambiance. It's stylish, well located and it's not the hot spot for youngsters these days, and he's grateful for that because he doesn't want to meet with one of Lila's or Henry's friends, while he woos his ex.

But mostly it's a place with a meaning for Robin and Regina.

During the first years of their divorce, Robin and Regina began meeting on "The Bow" regularly; and, in that same place, they began a different relationship: they became lovers.

That relationship lasted almost a year, in which the two of them enjoyed intimate encounters, sometimes after leaving that same pub. Encounters, filled with the same passion they had shared at the very beginning of their relationship, but that was long gone in the last stages of their marriage, and with an additional ingredient: risk. And, maybe that was what they both needed by that time: the thrill of not wanting to be caught, of living on the edge, of being accomplices in their new adventure.

Both, Robin and Regina, had been very private about their affair. They didn't want to go public with their relationship, didn't want to be judged by friends or family, didn't want to be lectured (least of all by Regina's mother), but mostly they didn't want to confuse their children.

Their relationship had focused on the both of them, leaving aside the things that most times lead to a boring and routinely: money, children, the house, school … They needed to be sure that they'd sorted out the issues that led to their divorce before they went public with their relationship.

But after almost a year hiding other people that he had been seen his ex, Robin began to want more, had gotten his hopes up and had been waiting for the right time to talk to Regina and maybe reassume their marriage. For Regina it had been different because she was just getting her career back, and by that time she just needed a friendship, someone to talk about herself, passion and the physical closeness those encounters gave her but not the commitment of marriage.

So, when Robin chose that night to ask Regina to take their secret relationship to another level all went badly, and it was their last time together.

Hence, Robin knows that choosing that very same pub to meet with Regina, after all those years, has been a bold move on his part, and on Friday, just before lunchtime, he decides to try his luck a little more by texting her something bolder.

Remember the last time we were in that pub? he texts, adds a winking emoji and press send. He doesn't receive an answer right the way but checks that she has read the message, and regrets sending it. He debates internally for some minutes if he should apologize or not, but decides to wait … maybe Regina had been in a meeting or something, and couldn't answer.

And, when an hour passes without an answer from Regina, he begins to freak and is about to call her to apologize, when he hears the sound of the notification and runs to pick up his phone.

I do remember very well … and do not push your luck is her answer, and he doesn't really know if it's a good or a bad sign. At least she hasn't cancelled their meeting, so he decides he'll take it as a good sign … for now.

And for the rest of the afternoon, his mind is filled with memories of their last time together in that pub because there are moments in life that are not meant to be forgotten, and he considers that night in particular one of those moments.

However, just as he holds on to the happy, blissful moments he had on that pub with her eight years ago, it's inevitable that the painful memories of what happened next, come to his mind as well.

Anyway, he decides to take some time to remember the best of that night eight years ago and to leave aside how it ended. Robin recalls the flirting, just after meeting in the pub; the drinks, maybe too many; the playful, dirty talking while they were on the table; how he caressed her upper legs below the table; how turned on they'd been; Regina's incursion to the ladies room; him following Regina and waiting for her to come out; how he pushed her into the bathroom as soon as she stepped out; and, how he'd pinned her to a wall from behind, and had rough, desperate, quick sex. It had been one of the top five sex experiences he has had in his life.

#############

It's amazing how memory works. Sometimes we're able to recall details of things that happened long ago, but yet are unable to remember other things that happened more recently.

And Robin's memory is working just like that. He remembers every detail of the last time he was in "The Bow" with Regina, as if it were yesterday, although that meeting happened eight years ago; but, he is unable to remember the last time he went to that same place with other people, and whom those people were.

But his and Regina's meeting ... oh, he does remember quite well! He visualizes how stunning she was in that sleeveless deep purple dress that showed a generous amount of cleavage, and made her ass look just perfect. He remembers how she walked to the table, swaying her hips graciously, drawing not only his attention but the one from other people. He recalls ordering her favorite drink and flirting shamelessly with her all night. Both had been so free, so carefree … just them. If he had only known then that it would be the last time with her, he would have kissed her, touched her, made love to her, more.

The minute Robin steps into the place, a quarter before 7:00 pm, he realizes that the place remains very much the same, except for the tapestries, curtains and the little stage for live music performances. He smiles realizing that he had been in such a hurry the moment he entered the place, that he didn't pay any attention to the poster by the entrance that said something about live music, some days of the week. The arrangement of the tables is just as Robin remembers from last time, so he requests the same table as eight years ago.

As soon as the waiter arrives, he orders the same drinks they had that time. It's whiskey for him; and, an apple martini for Regina. Robin requests the waiter to bring their drinks as soon as the woman he is waiting for arrives, and tips the waiter generously, just to assure the man doesn't forget about his request.

Robin wants to surprise her. He wants to make sure when their night is over, and by the time Regina leaves the place that she'll have no doubts about what she means to him and how he has felt for the last years.

So, he just waits for Regina to arrive. It's a quarter past 7 pm, and she hasn't shown yet. He is nervous and checks his phone every now and then, to make sure not to miss any message from her.

He thinks that maybe she will text him to let him know she's late, so he grabs his phone again, with the intention to check more carefully the recent texts he has gotten.

He doesn't notice Regina when she enters the pub, and only realizes she has arrived after hearing her unmistakable voice saying what she says each time she is late … and it seems this is happening more frequently.

"Sorry, I'm late…" Robin can't disguise being blown away just at the sight of her and at her choice of outfit. She's wearing a dress, knee length, with short sleeves, crossed in the waist and tied in a little bow at one of its sides, but what surprises Robin the most, is its color, a deep purple.

"…something came up last minute at the office, and it couldn't wait until Monday, and I hadn't even the time to text you. I'm, sorry I kept you waiting", continues Regina excusing for the almost 40 minutes delay.

As both seat down Robin decides he won't bring up the choice of color of Regina's dress … he'll save that for later "Don't worry Regina, I understand those last minute things … and hmm it was worth the wait …. You're gorgeous!" She thanks him, and he fears that maybe an awkward silence is about to come because for some seconds both keep silent. Fortunately, the waiter arrives with their drinks.

"Good night, here are your drinks", says the waiter putting the apple martini in Regina's place. She is intrigued by this because she didn't get the chance to order anything yet and looks to Robin in such a way that it's like she has an interrogation mark above her head.

"I ordered our drinks before you arrived", explains Robin.

"Oh! Thanks! You have a good memory Robin. An apple martini is just what I was going to order!"

"It seems I'm not the only one with a good memory!" says Robin staring at her dress, so that she knows that he has noticed her choice of color.

But Regina doesn't want to go there … not, yet anyway. She chose to wear a dress the same color as the one she wore for him eight years ago because she wanted to show Robin he wasn't the only one that remembered that night, and that it had also been special for her… well, at least half of the night.

Robin is dying to know how she's been doing, and maybe that would give him the chance to lead the conversation to a more personal and intimate level.

"Let's talk about you, Regina. How have you been? How's work going?" asks Robin.

"I'm good. Our firm has grown a lot the last year, you know … so, work's kind of stressful. We are short-handed right now, and soon we'll have to hire some lawyers because we can't handle all the cases, and that's the perfect excuse for Sidney to come to my office, unannounced, to just check the multiple cases he's been assigned to, or more properly, offered to take care himself".

Robin smiles at the mention of Sidney and can't help to laugh remembering the countless times Regina had complained about Sidney invading her personal space "Ha! some things doesn't change at all. So, Sidney still has that crush on you? He didn't marry?"

"No, he didn't marry … And, a crush? I'd say it's more like an obsession. He knows where I am, what I did the day before, the places I go, the ones I like best … I once found out that he got a membership in the same gym I go … I got rid of him that time only because I began spinning classes, and he couldn't handle them. It's so annoying, that I would have fired him a long time ago if it wasn't that actually he's one of the best"

Regina notes the look of anger and concern in Robin's face, and next she hears him talk "But, he hasn't ….hmm you know … crossed the line? ...forced you in any way? I'll be happy to have more than a conversation with him!"

"Thank you, Robin for being there for me but it won't be necessary. I've got it …. Besides being annoying, he's not dangerous" says Regina, trying to calm Robin, and, indeed, Sidney is a pain in the ass but isn't a bad person.

"Well in that case, I'll let the man have his fantasy. Seeing you daily in those outfits … I can't blame him", answers Robin. He smiles at Regina, takes her hand into his and continues "And, I'm glad that you are aware that still although we are not together, I'm here for you…. just a phone call away. Maybe it had not always been that way, but now it is".

She smiles at Robin's revelation answering with a flirty "I know, and I'm very grateful for that".

They continue talking as the night goes on. They both are having a great time in each other's company but until then they haven't talked about how they feel about this second "date".

They've been there for almost two hours, and have had some appetizers and a few more drinks. As soon as they realize how time flew, they hear some musical notes and someone on the microphone announcing the beginning of a live performance, and they don't seem bothered by it, nor by the daring couples that have begun dancing at the rhythm of music.

Being a Friday night, and the beginning of the weekend, the place is full of people. All the tables are occupied, and there are other people sitting in the bar. It seems the little band that is about to perform has filled the place.

And there's where Robin realizes that on Friday's nights "The Bow" has live music. Robin checks the poster on one of the sides of the place and finds out this little band performs music from other singers, and one or two songs from their own repertoire. From the information on the poster it seems this time will be "A romantic night to remember. Top hits from yesterday".

They continue laughing, each time they talk closer to the other one, there are some touches that almost seem part of the conversation, and soon they hear the notes of a particular song.

They look at each other as if there's no one else in the place, and then they hear the singer's voice, reminding them of happier times of their lives.

Tonight you're mine, completely

You give your love so sweetly

Regina turns her head to look away, but Robin doesn't let her, and take one of his hand to her face, and turns it softly so that she can look at him "I also remember, Regina. I remember everything. Please, dance with me".

Tonight the light of love is in your eyes

But will you love me tomorrow

He extends his hand, Regina takes it, and both go to the dancing floor. One of his hands goes to her waist, and with the other one he grabs her hand. She puts her free hand on his shoulder. They're both shocked by the other one's closeness. They haven't been that close in a long time.

Is this a lasting treasure

Or just a moment's pleasure?

The music continues to remind them of what once they had, and it seems they both are affected by the music and their closeness. Regina can feel Robin's breath on her ear; and, Robin can sense Regina getting a little closer because he feels her breasts pressed on his chest.

Can I believe the magic of your sighs?

Will you still love me tomorrow?

Regina is in the clouds. She feels Robin's hand caress the lower part of her back, and she gets lost in the moment. She dares to get a little closer, rests her head on his shoulder and feels all of him: his scent, his warmth.

Tonight with words unspoken

You say that I'm the only one

But will my heart be broken

When the night meets the morning sun?

They continue moving to the pace of music, slow, from one side to the other. Robin embraces her a little tighter and pulls her to him. She doesn't complain and instead moves the hand that's on his shoulder, to his neck, surrounding it.

I'd like to know that your love

Is love I can be sure of

So tell me now, and I won't ask again

Will you still love me tomorrow?

The question on the lyrics suits the moment completely, and both turn their heads at the same time, staring stare at the other one in an instant where time seems has stopped. And, as an act of mere instinct their heads get closer and they kiss.

So tell me now, and I won't ask again

Will you still love me tomorrow?

Will you still love me tomorrow?

Will you still love me …

They kiss through what remains of the song. First, slowly and tender, just as if they were trying to figure out what they have missed since the last time they kissed this way. Then the kiss begins to take another course, more heated, more daring, more passionate.

As they kiss, Robin thinks how incredible it is that just hearing at the right song, it takes less than three minutes for them to fall into the arms of the other one, and surrender to the moment.

The human body has a memory of its own. That's what Robin and Regina had heard a lot but until they kiss it had only been a saying. But when both open their mouths at the same time, move their heads to one or the other side, and there's no movement out of sync, they know their bodies have just remembered what being with the other was like.

The song finishes and they continue kissing through the next song, completely unaware if there are more people on the dancing floor or if it's just the two of them. When they finally break the kiss, they realize it's them, and two more couples.

They walk to their table, holding hands and seat. Regina takes a sip of her drink, and Robin just stares at her. Both are affected by their kiss and are thinking what to say.

Robin talks first "Regina, I… I…" he pauses, struggling to find the right words "… since Monday afternoon, well being honest even before then, you've been a lot in my mind …. And this kiss just complicates things a little bit for me because I don't think I can let you go now … I… I mean it. And, I don't want to push or rush you in any way into something you don't want… I … I'd understand if you got carried away and this kiss was only something of the moment…"

"It's not", interrupts Regina, and continues clarifying "It's not something of the moment. I didn't get carried away".

"Good. We've been husband and wife, lovers, friends …. I'm willing to accept whatever you want to give this time", says Robin and he can't help but smile a little because anything that Regina will be willing to give is better than living with nothing at all and he'll take it.

As soon as Regina hears Robin, she remembers how things have been in the past for them "It doesn't work that way, Robin. You know it doesn't" she makes a pause, takes a sip of her drink and when she sees Robin's look of panic she rushes to finish "We both have to be on the same page. Remember the last time we were together? We both wanted something different, and that's why we failed. Now, we need to be honest from the beginning. What are our expectations, and what are we willing to give? If it's fair for the two of us maybe it can work".

Robin doesn't say a word. He just drinks from his glass, looks at Regina's hands, takes both of them in his and says "Okay. You're right. I will begin. I'll be honest with you, completely honest. Crystal clear" he stops, drinks again from his glass, sighs deeply and continues "I haven't stopped thinking about you since I last saw you when Roland left for college. I wanted to call you so many times but thought you were in a relationship with that Graham and I didn't want to intrude. Marian realized I wasn't over you and that's the reason why we broke up. She said I was never over you and that I made her lose time, she wanted a baby, you know…. And I didn't… I couldn't…. and well, we just split like six months ago… I felt like shit for months because Marian was right".

"Oh, Robin. I'm so sorry" says Regina after Robin finishes but she knows it's her turn to open up to Robin "This is hard, you know … To admit I made a mistake just thinking I could have again what I once had". She looks down, stares at her own hands, avoiding looking at him, as if she were ashamed of the choices she once made but still continues "When Daniel and I split it was because I realized I wasn't in love with him. It was an illusion, I needed someone by my side, and he happened to be there….so I just thought I wanted him, but I ... didn't. When I finally realized that I wanted you … with Daniel's help, by the way, because at some point he accused me of cheating on him with you… we broke up, and then I just found out you were in a relationship with Marian, so beautiful, young… younger than me … with no baggage. It was awful to face again the fact that we had such bad timing".

She ends talking and feels Robin's hand caressing hers with his thumb. It feels good, it's only a soft touch, but it's comforting, it just what she needs. It was hard to acknowledge her failure with Daniel in front of Robin, it's something she has only admitted to herself, and she is grateful for Robin's gesture of care. She lifts her gaze, looks to Robin's eyes and adds "And … hmm … just for the record Graham is a friend, a good one, maybe he wants something more, but he knows I don't".

Robin just smiles "It's good to know … I think we should just spend time together… the two of us and let this sort itself out… you know it's funny… tonight we haven't even talked about the children".

Regina giggles at Robin's comment "Ha! We are such shitty parents! Seriously, it's good that we haven't talked about the children … we are not only their parents but also two people with lives, jobs, dreams, fears …. It's healthy that we got to forget like …" she checks her watch "… three hours about them and focus on us… maybe that's what we needed before … and I agree with you, let's just see where this takes us, with no labeling whatever it is that we have".

"True. And, I enjoyed just being you, and me… but I need to know how do we approach this with our children, family or friends. It had been an issue before, that's why I ask…. I want to be on the same page with this as well, but I don't want to be hiding. I want to take you to dinner, to the movies, I want to feel free to be with you wherever we want."

"I don't want to be hiding or lying about us, either, Robin. I … I think we should just go with this naturally. No hiding. No labeling. No official notice to other people. Let the world figure out about us, and let us decide when should we want to tell our children".


Part 2 and final one, will be posted in a few hours

Let me know what you think!