I'm not sure who all is with 736Boi, so I'm just going to play it safe and just roast two writers.
763Boi sat alone in his room playing Roblox, as usual he had no place to be this weekend, (unless you count beating local cats and killing small animals)
"FUCK!" He yelled as his controller sailed across the room, crashing into the wall opposite of him. "I died again! Now my Roblox girlfriend Mia is gonna leave me!"
He eagerly sat up from his nasty room, littered with old tissue boxes and empty bottles of lotion accompanied by empty cartridges of patroleum jelly. He sighed.
"MOM GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP AND GO TO THE GROCERY STORE!!! I NEED MORE LOTION!!! Dumb cunt." He finished off with a whisper.
He then grabbed his nappy ass skechers and through them on, ready to get out of his crusty room, his sheets also needed a good wash, they were currently stiff as a board.
As he went out the front door he saw his neighbor Adrien, he tried to avoid him, but as usual it did no good.
"Sup, loser!" Adrien said as he walked over to him. 763Boi ignored him.
That's when he felt a powerful set of hands on the back of his neck as he was pulled back. Due to his legs not being used to walking from his chronic masterbating and playing video games, he fell on his ass, causing his belly to jiggle.
The bully laughed as he mounted, on top of him. "I read your latest story dweeb! Burning Love is gay you little faggot!"
He slammed his fist into 763Boi's cheek, causing a small amount of blood to splatter the grass to his left. He then hit him with a left hook, causing his braces to go through his cheeks and rake the bullies fist. This made him angry as he pulled back and smashed into his nose, causing it to burst like a ripe cherry. He delivered the same powerful punch to his nose, breaking it in several places. The bully opened up his ruined mouth and took a well deserved piss down his gullet.
763Boi took it like the punk ass bitch that he was.
Once he had recovered enpugh to stand he hobbled into the woods to meet up with his friend. On the way he grabbed a cat and pet it gently.
"Why, hello there little buddy! Do you want to hang with me?"
The cat purred in approval as they went further into the woods.
763Boi knew he was close when he heard the loud clapping by the fallen tree. He looked around the massive trunk and saw the source of the sound.
AcropolisGD was rearing back and slamming a cat against the trunk like a toy, it was clear how ruined the cat was his neck was hanging by a string and it's head looked like a furry fist matted with blood and brains oozing out.
The cat that 763Boi held sensed the impending danger and tried to claw his way from 763Boi's arms but he snapped it's neck.
"Mind if I join you?" 763 asked.
GD shrugged as 763Boi started beating the cat against the trunk.
"So, how are things with Mia?" GD asked.
763Boi sighed. "I think it's over, I lost at roblox again."
GD shuddered. He HATED roblox. Minecraft is where it's at!
"So we still up for shooting up the school?" GD asked.
763Boi nodded. "All of those jocks and girls are gonna learn what for!"
They both let out a battle cry and beat each others cats.
That was when they felt an intense heat on their backs. They naturally turned to the source and saw a white haired boy floating towards them in a ball of fire. He landed dramatically and looked at the cringy teens.
"Hi, my name is Lincoln Loud, I'm gonna roast the living shit out of you both!" Lincoln said as he rose again. Turning to GD first.
"BOI, YOU WANNA PLAY UNO??!!! YOU GONNA HAVE TO BRING YO DAMN GREEN CARD FIRST!!! HA GET IT?!
YOU'RE EITHER THE YOUNGEST 31YEAR OLD OR THE UGLIEST FIFTEEN YEAR OLD I HAVE EVER FUCKING SEEN!!!BOI I BET YO ASS IS GONNA START A LANDSCAPING COMPANY!!!"
GD dropped to his knees.
"Please sir! I'm sorry! I will mow your lawn if you leave me be!"
Lincoln nodded, then turned to 763Boi, causing him to piss a little.
"Ooooohh, OOOOOOHHHH. This gon be good!"
"BOI! WHY THE FUCK IS YO ASS SO DAMN CRINGY??? YO ASS ACT LIKE YOU HOT SHIT THINKIN YOU GOT SOMETHIN TO PROVE!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKIN IDEA WHAT YOU JUST WALKED INTO!!!! RAAAAAAAAA!!!!! BOI LOOK AT THAT THOUSAND YARD AUTISM STARE!!! I BET YO ASS HAS SEEN HENTAI ONLY LEGAL IN NORTH KOREA, HEADASS. I BET YO ASS MASTERBATES SO MUCH THAT YOU FORGOT HOW TO ORGASM, OH SHIT I BET YO CRUSTY ASS DOG CAN VOUCH FOR THAT HUH??!! IT'D BE SHOCKING IF YO ASS WASNT ACTUALLY RETARDED!!! BOI I BET YOU THE TYPA DUDE TO HAVE A STAR WARS PLUSHIE, SHIT, I BET YO ASS SPOONS A FUCKING DARTH VADER PILLOW EVERY DAMN NIGHT!!! YO ASS LOOKS LIKE THE TYPA DUDE TO DO TH NARUTO RUN TO YO MOMS MINI VAN AFTER SCHOOL, AND THE REASON THAT YOU RIDE WITH YO DAMN MOMMA IS CAUSE YOU GOT BANNED FROM THE BUS FOR RUBBING YOURSELF THROUGH SWEATPANTS AT THE GIRLS YOU CREEPY SON OF A BITCH!!! YOU ARE WHAT WILL MAKE CHRIS HANSEN COME BACK!! NOBODY LET THIS KID REACH INTO HIS BAG!!! WHY THE FUCK YOU LOOK SO DOWN?? DID SOMEONE STEAL YO WHEELCHAIR??? AUTISM, PATIENT ZERO. YO ASS LOOK LIKE YOU SAT DOWN AND REMEMBERED THE KING SIZED BUTTPLUG THE PASTOR GAVE YOU FOR CHRISTMAS!!! Fuck out my face!"
763Boi flew back and rammed into a log.
Lincoln leaned down, cupping his chin in his hand. "Boi, if you EVER think about roasting again yo ass better do that shit right. If only your father had had your dedication...instead of spilling his curdled yogurt into your rancid slop bucket of a mother."
Roast god Lincoln then shot into a heavenly light, going back to hence he came.
That was fun.
