Mirror
Summary: Carly's thoughts on her daughter's behavior in, She Will Be Loved.
Carly had gotten up to get a drink of water, throat unbearably dry. She'd been heading back to her bedroom when something had made her stop outside her daughter's door and peek inside. She knew Josslyn hadn't been getting much sleep since Oscar's death, though the girl never said anything.
When she opened the door though, the teen was absent from her bed. Carly saw the pajamas her daughter had been wearing earlier that evening on the bedroom floor. The blankets on her bed were pulled back, and the window was open. She swallowed hard, panic filled her as she studied the room for a few moments before she hurried to find her phone. She fumbled with it for a few seconds before she began to call her daughter's friends. With her heart in her throat, she finally called the Webber household, feeling her heart clench in her chest as she worried more and more.
"Hello?" A tired voice asked of her.
"Hey, Elizabeth? It's Carly. I'm sorry about calling so late. I was just...wondering if Josslyn is there? I got up to get some water and peeked in on her, but she wasn't in bed. I've already called Trina and some of her other friends." Carly asked, voice strained.
"Hold on." Elizabeth told her.
Carly could hear movement on the other end and the sound of a door opening before the other woman came back onto the line.
"She's here. She's asleep in bed with Cam. She must've snuck in at some point." Liz answered. "Do you want me to wake her up or bring her back home?"
The blonde shook her head though she knew the woman couldn't see it. "No. I'm just glad to know she's safe. Besides, she's actually sleeping. That's something she hasn't been doing lately. If your son helps my little girl, then I'm fine with this."
She hung up with the woman and headed back to bed. She wrapped her arms around Sonny as she thought of her little girl, feeling tears sting her eyes. She felt like a failure as a mother for being unable to take away her daughter's pain.
Carly wasn't an idiot. She knew her daughter was going somewhere when she snuck out at night other than to Cam's house. She didn't know exactly where though or how to even bring the subject up. She didn't want Josslyn to distance herself even more.
It was when Trina had come to see her that she knew something was wrong. Josslyn had taken Avery to the park which Trina had known. A reason why the girl had come at that time to see her. And it was Trina who told her about Josslyn meeting up with random boys. Her heart had jumped into her throat at that. At first, she hadn't wanted to believe it, though Trina had no reason to lie and had seemed genuinely worried. And then she thought of the conversation she'd had with Josslyn back when she'd discovered her little girl had been shoplifting. Josslyn had tearfully confessed to her that she'd tried to have sex with Oscar because she wanted to feel something other than hurt or anger. He'd thankfully stopped her. But that didn't mean other boys would. Other boys would surely take everything she had to offer, uncaring about how she felt afterwards.
Carly watched her daughter that night as the teen ate dinner, mind whirling as she tried to think of how to talk to her daughter about this. The fact that her daughter was using sex to cope terrified her. She felt Sonny beside of her, watching in confusion. She threw him a look, letting him know without words that she'd explain her behavior. Dinner was a silent affair and when Josslyn was finished with her dinner, she stood up to take her plate to the kitchen. She came back moments later to tell them good night and then hurried up to her room, though it was only seven.
She knew her daughter most likely planned to sneak out. And it wouldn't be to go to Cam's house. So when Cam showed up, worry in his eyes, a look that matched her own, she allowed him inside and watched as he hurried straight up the stairs. She hoped that Cam would be able to get through to her as pretty much the only person Josslyn hadn't pushed away fully.
After an hour, she grew curious when Cam still hadn't come down and when she hadn't heard any sort of screaming match. She stood to her feet and walked up the steps and to Josslyn's room and inched the door open. Her heart ached at the sight of her daughter, sleeping peacefully with Cam beside of her, their hands linked as they faced each other. She noticed the stiletto heels on the floor and when she went to the bathroom to shut of the light, she noted a dress on the floor and makeup cleansing towlettes in the trash. A relieved breath escaped her lips as she realized what Cam had stopped Josslyn from doing.
It was the next morning when Carly finally decided to talk to her daughter. As Cam was about to leave, she pulled him into a hug and whispered a thank you in his ear, a thank you she hoped didn't need any explanation before she pulled her daughter over to the sofa.
Josslyn seemed to know what her mother wanted to talk with her about with the way she twisted a strand of hair around her finger, bit her lip, tugged at her pajamas. She didn't fight it though and instead sat next to her mom with her hands planted firmly on her lap.
"Josslyn, honey...Trina told me what you've been doing." Carly told the teen. She swallowed a lump in her throat. "I guess I always had some idea, but I tried to push it away, deny it."
Her daughter looked down at that, expression of shame on her face. She brought her legs up onto the couch and rested her chin on her knees. "I'm so sorry, mom." She whispered, voice raspy. "I don't even know how it started. But I'm not going to do it anymore."
Carly pulled her into a hug. She ran a hand through the girl's long locks and shook her head. "Oh baby, you have nothing to apologize for. I just wish you felt like you could've trusted me."
"I just...I didn't want to feel sad all of the time. I liked that when I was with those guys, I didn't have to feel anything." Josslyn rasped tearfully. Her hands clutched at her mother's back desperately and she buried her face into her mother's shoulder.
"That's not healthy, Josslyn. I hope you've realized that. I can get the actions you took, but you deserve more than what you did. You deserve to experience those things with someone that you care about." The older woman told her daughter fiercely.
Josslyn nodded at that as she pulled away. She swiped the tears away from her eyes. "I know that now. Cam talked to me about it. Hey mom? I think...I think I'd like to go to therapy. I want to get through this. And I feel like I have a lot to talk about. I think I should've been in therapy long before Oscar died. Probably when Morgan did or when I found out how bad Nelle was. Or when you were sent to Ferncliff because of her."
Carly gave a smile and tucked a strand of hair behind her daughter's hair before she leaned in to kiss her forehead. "I'll set you up an appointment. I'm glad you're willing to get help, Joss."
Josslyn let out a grateful sigh and allowed her eyes to flutter shut before she rested her head on her mother's shoulder, feeling okay for the first time in awhile.
