I can't tell if this bottled anger is real. Desensitized.
What has become of me? Where has the girl of my past, the one who laughed, played, and believed so easily gone?
You killed me.
The energy is being sucked out of me. My thoughts are the only things still truly mine. No one knows. I can't find what I am still longing for . . .
Acceptance?
Respect?
Life. To finally taste the breath of morning and kiss the horizon.
I don't know what I am looking for. Perhaps that, too, has been taken away from me.
Not yet.
Where has my life been swept away to? I am so consumed that I do not know what I feel? Is it real happiness? Fake? Since when did I ask so many questions?
Since you stopped listening for an answer.
I want that girl of old to return.
Dead.
No one is holding me. My own arms are too thin to keep me warm and their words echo in my mind. My tears quickly follow. Covered in dirt, I get up before stumbling again. And again, no one to call upon.
You pushed them away.
Silicone? Selene? No, then I will be even farther from myself. But does it matter? Aren't I already lost enough?
You haven't tried to find a path back.
Even he has gone. Dead. His laugh is still engraved in my mind, not yet worn away by the waves of sorrow. I remember how he held me. Sympathy?
Love.
I am too weak. They are making me weaker. I still have no intensions of trying to fit in. No, I will continue to sink into this darkness, until I finally see the light.
Don't give up . . .
