Paper Mari'Os
By A Kirby and his cheese
To my cousin (This is his REALLY, Really late B-Day Gift)
Director: Ok guys, I know I've been through some ideas but as commercial director at General Mills, this will be awesome!
He went to the room were meetings are held with Mario and his partners. He got out his clipboard.
Director: Paper Mario Cereal!
They all stared except Mario, who loved getting promotions.
Mario: We can have fireworks and mechanical Abraham Lincoln Heads! Let's not forget the dodo birds!
Goombella: Mario! There are no Dodos in my Tattle Log! Besides, dodos are extinct anyway.
Mario rolled his eyes.
Mario: You and your Dodo-less Tattle Log! *Turns to director* We should donate Lemon Juice instead of blood. That will get peoples' blood kicking!
Director: NO! We didn't even plan a blood drive! Lemon Juice in arteries isn't good for people anyway! It'll kill them!
Mario didn't care at all. In fact, the director and the others doubted that Mario even knew what arteries are!
Now, I, the author, am going to skip to the making of the commercial.
Mario: Here dude- I mean director, here's a list of my ideas! Guess what, I eat mice!
Director: Very...uh…nice Mario…
Mario wasn't sure if he meant the list was nice, or the mice part. Ms. Mowz got creeped out. Mario got ready.
Director: Get to your places everyone! Goombella! You first!
Goombella: You got it! I'll tattle on this cheap cereal!
Goombella tattled with the log, she looked shocked.
Goombella: This is, like, not in my book.
Director: Pretend!
Goombella: Ok! *Grins* It's a sick, moldy cereal that no one should eat. It contains ugly, unproportional, marshmallow shapes, besides, the makers made my hat too small.
Director: *Thinking: She's so right!* Wrong! Wrong! All wrong! Koops! You're up!
Koops: Ok… I'll do it! I got paid to do this.
Koops analyzed the marshmallows.
Koops: I think my marshmallow would look better if it was light blue. It's a tacky yellow color.
Director: We have no light blue dye!
Koops: Buy some, make marshmallows, put the color in, you're done!
Director: Ok, whatever, Flurrie!
Flurrie looked at the Mario marshmallow.
Flurrie: You shouldn't make cute Mario into an ugly marshmallow.
Director: The marshmallows are too small to make good shapes with! Arrow the Yoshi! Are you ready?
Arrow: Ready, man! *Stares at bowl* Flurrie's right, man, Gonzales looks nothing like this.
Mario: Dude! My name is Mario!
Director: Vivian!
Vivian: Ok! *Looks for a Vivian marshmallow* Hey! There's no Vivian marshmallow! But you have the others! And you forgot Ms. Mowz and Bobbery! But you put that talking sheet!
Doopliss came in at a terrible time. He smiled.
Doopliss: Ohhhhhhhhhh….. Hey guys! Why are you guys surrounding me? Ohhhh… that's creepy!
Goombella: Would you eat this crud?
Doopliss: Nooooooooooooooooooooo…………..
Goombella: Hmmmmmmmmmm…. He DID answer correctly… *Stares at Doopliss* Go do the commercial!
Director: I see what you're trying to do, Goombella, Doopliss! Come to the stage!
Doopliss: Ohhhhhhhhhhh….ok! *Picks up Doopliss marshmallow* Yaaaaaaaaaay It's me!
Mario: How 'bout Bobbery!
Director: Mario, you're an intelligent boy!
Bobbery gazed at the cereal and started to laugh. Kammy and Bowser came in at an even worse time than Doopliss.
Kammy: Bowser and I need Money, so you need yours, desu!
Bowser just had a blank stare at Mario, Mario just smiled.
Mario: Say, little old Bowser, want to, oh, you know, HELP US MAKE THE COMMERCIAL WITH KAMMY KOOPA?
Bowser and Kammy stared. Mario was breathing slowly, and was sweating.
Mario: Please.
Director: Mario, old boy! How 'bout you taste test the cereal!
Mario: Ok.
Mario went up to two bowls; one contains Cheerios, the other with the Paper Mario cereal. Mario sweated as he went to the two cereals. He ate the Mario cereal.
Mario: Hey! Not bad!
He tried the other.
Mario: Hey! This is beyond better!!!
The director was doomed.
Mario: So, do we get paid?
Director: Here, all of you $5. Go nuts.
Mario: OH, SWEET! That's for much.
Director gave each of them the money.
Mario: We got $5 for doing nothing!
They were about to leave until Doopliss stopped them.
Doopliss: Why are we leaving? We are not getting good payment. Why should we waste every stinking second of our life doing this? $5? Is that all it is? That's it? All of it? I don't think so! I say we must rebel against the place of bad payment! Get signs! Yell at people to not to eat cereal! Life needs more than 5 bucks! Rebel! Rebel! Oh the grief! Oh the grief! The mind is the center of thought! And without it, we would cry an ocean….
They all stared in amazement at Doopliss's lecture.
Mario: Ok. That was… weird! DUDE! That was awesome!
Doopliss: Yeah, I got that from a random hobo who lives Twighlight Town, eating out of the trash can.
They left and went to another company.
New Director: Ok guys, I know I've been through some ideas but as cartoon director at DiC, this will be awesome!
He went to the room were meetings are held with Mario and his partners. He got out his clipboard.
Director: A Paper Mario *DiC Cartoon!
And guess what… They all sighed.
[The moral of the story is don't mock cereal!]
*DiC – A company who makes really bad cartoons. They are famous for Super Mario World (cartoon) and Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3.
