Krolia had never planned being a mother.
Insofar as she had ever been concerned pregnancy and, by extension motherhood, was something that happened to other people. People who weren't spies. Weren't soldiers fighting a lopsided war.
People who weren't her.
But then she'd come to earth and things had just… happened.
She'd been undeniably pregnant. It had been uncertain at first, but as time went on and her belly started getting bigger the reality of the situation swiftly sunk in. As did Krolia's rather shocking realization that this was something she wanted.
Even when the morning sickness and bloating feet settled in, Krolia still found herself counting the days in anticipation and carefully checking her own development. She'd spend hours trying to remember as many glaran and human names as her memory would allow and writing them down in long lists on spare pieces of material. Krolia even caught herself speaking absently to the unborn child when she thought she was alone.
When she slept she ended up dreaming of days with her future family. Hot days spent in this dusty landscape teaching her child to climb the rocks. Cool nights where they would lie huddled together in their small home all settled and warm. Days coming one after another, stretching into eternity, where they would all be together.
She clung to the dreams.
Even as the anticipation for the birth had swelled her heart with joy, the deep cynical voice at the back of her subconscious repeatedly reminded Krolia that this life was one she couldn't have.
Certainly she could have the few months up until the actual birth. Then maybe a few years after that. Just long enough for the child to be able to live independently from her. Long enough to know for certain where they would best fit in.
But that was all the time she would have.
Eventually the blades would expect to hear from her. If she didn't get word out to the blades, they would be forced to assume she had "died in the course of her duty" and send someone else. Then they would show up, find her here with her husband and child, and ask a lot of questions Krolia would prefer not to answer while either member of her family were present.
Besides, she would have to go back. There was a war going on just beyond the boundary of this galaxy. A war that wiped out whole species and destroyed entire planets.
A war that wasn't going to look at a small harmless inconsequential planet like earth and decide that, just this once, it would pass on by with nary a glance.
So when the day finally came when, after several hours filled to the brim with screaming and a level of pain Krolia hadn't been sure she'd ever experiece again even in the line of duty, she held her newborn baby son in her arms… Krolia cried.
It was a rare event in her life.
She wasn't a sensitive woman. Never had been. Even when she had, time after time, received news of her comrades deaths she hardly ever cried.
There wasn't time.
But here she sat alone, with no one present but the small child in her arms. HIs father gone to town for supplies. Here she could sit and cry for as long as she wanted.
She cried for the days she knew she wouldn't get to experience. The memories that wouldn't be made. A family she would likely not get to keep.
Krolia cried and cried until the streams of tears ran dry.
She cried until she knew there would be no more room for anymore tears.
The future was filled with heartbreak.
She wouldn't be able to cry then.
But now, in the present, Krolia could cry a lifetime of tears for herself, her husband, and her child.
And death to anyone who tried to stop her.
