Seven months away, who'd have thought it would have thrown up so much change. I stare at the corpse lying on the table, Booth is the best at reading things that live and I'm best at reading things that no longer breathe. I knew the cause of death at least an hour ago but I've been standing here thinking about Booth and our current situation. Booth never failed to notice the little things, but that was before Hannah. He deserves to be happy.
I had spent seven months trying to make myself open to Booth, his heart and his love. I worked hard, I learnt a lot from Daisy, that admission scares me. I missed him so much it hurt, I wrote to him every day, I even talked to God.
Once I had returned home I found Dad had bought me a TV, he left a note for me to 'embrace real life' and I had. The meeting with Booth had caused me more pain than I thought it ever would. I told Ange that Booth 'had found love' her reply 'I'm sorry' I made some kind of joke and hopefully managed to throw her off the fact that I did need her pity.
Booth was finally free, I'm glad because no one should feel like this, he managed it for years but I'm not sure that I will be able to. It's my fault but I never ran, I know he thinks I did but in truth we both needed this time away. He needed it to be free and I needed it to sort myself out and realise that I can be open to 30, 40, 50 years.
He doesn't notice the little things any more. I am not a gambler, I don't have to be. You don't gamble on a sure thing. Now maybe the wrong time, 'There are moments with Seeley, we missed ours. Don't miss yours' for all I know I have missed it, could there have been a better moment than outside the FBI when he told me he loves me? I have to hope so or I have lost and the deal has taken my chips off the table and the game has ended.
He is the heart and I'm the brain, if that's true then one cannot survive without the other and that's a fact, pure and simple. It gives me hope in a very bleak place. I wipe a tear away. I hear his footsteps.
"Well, what do we have Bones?" he starts to reel off what he has found and I'm still staring at this body. I haven't looked at him for fear my feeling are written over my face, I don't know why I worry, he doesn't look at me anymore. I am just one of the little things now, he doesn't notice the little things anymore.
