Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: I wrote this in honor of Snape Appreciation Month last year and forgot to post it on here. Specifically for Day 11. Which is where the title comes from. I hope you enjoy.
I am Albus Dumbledore's spy. I am Albus Dumbledore's successor. I will not fail.
Coward!
The word echoed through his mind as he disapparated. The others were before him. Obeying the Orders he had given. Easily falling into line behind him. There were others still in the school, stunned or captured by now, but he could not afford to stop for them. Not with Draco to keep safe. Not with Potter chasing him down.
He was quick in his movements. Nearly flying into Malfoy Manor and towards the awaiting Dark Lord.
Severus … please…
He snarled in anger as he threw the door open. Draco, rising from his spot before the Dark Lord, glanced behind him, eyes widening, then darting away. He spared the boy no glance as he moved forward. Dropping to a knee before the Dark Lord.
Severus
There was no warning. No preparation. Within seconds his mind was being ripped open and events played out before his eyes. Repeating everything. The last few hours flashing quickly through his minds eye.
Waiting, looking out a window, watching the sky darkening as the minutes ticked by. Slipping away, going to where they would come looking for him when the time came. Stunning Flitwick, sending Granger and Lovegood to check on him, rushing up to the astronomy tower, deflecting spells and attacking no one, the others moving back, Dumbledore's pleas, the death, Potter chasing him, Potter attacking him …
The memories were replaced with pain. For a moment it eased, only to return stronger. Over and over his body seemed to ignite in flames. Until barely conscience, red eyes pierced his. It was a position that sent a tremor through his body. The Dark Lord bent above him, wand loose in his hand, fury in his eyes.
I am Albus Dumbledore's spy. I am Albus Dumbledore's successor. I will not fail.
The sharp crack broke the silence of the air. He stumbled, falling to his knees, slipping sideways. He felt nothing but pain. Broken fingers, sliced skin, mangled hair, bloodied, shaky … he cringed at the image he knew he had to present. Defenseless.
All he needed was for one person to see him. He knew by now that the only reason he wasn't wanted for the murder of Albus Dumbledore was the work of the Dark Lord's influence at the Daily Prophet. No, the blame was being aimed towards Potter. Wanted for questioning. He cringed at the idea, the boy blamed for his crime.
The school would know. Hogwarts itself and it's staff … they would not permit him entrance. Stumbling, determined to attempt to complete his mission, he moved towards the gates. The slow steady creak of them opening on their own brought a whimper to his lips.
How he managed to get through the school without being seen was beyond him. Alone. Isolated. Abandoned. No one to help him.
I am Albus Dumbledore's spy. I am Albus Dumbledore's successor. I will not fail.
Dumbledore never gave him anything but pitying eyes. A sad gaze watching him slip away and hide in a hidden alcove whenever Minerva came by the office. She'd sit and talk to the portrait. Telling it about the school and events. Asking questions … never getting an answer.
"You never answer."
"Answers are not always desired"
I am Albus Dumbledore's spy. I am Albus Dumbledore's successor. I will not fail.
He wanted to scream. The pain was to much. He had failed. Failed to think of capturing the boy. Failed to keep his cover. Failed. The only good thing he did was the death of Dumbledore, and even that was a fail. There was no reward. No assurance of loyalty. Not yet. Not now.
I am Albus Dumbledore's spy. I am Albus Dumbledore's successor. I will not fail.
"I do not understand why you go back."
"I will not fail."
I am Albus Dumbledore's spy. I am Albus Dumbledore's successor. I will not fail.
"Severus … please … please…"
He could do nothing. A flinch would betray him. A sound would betray him. He could feel the Dark Lord's eyes upon him and he kept his upon the tortured Charity. He watched, as impassively as possible, as she spun above the table. Silenced. Her eyes red and puffy, tears slipping down her face.
He didn't move when she fell onto the table. When Nagini slithered forward. He stayed still. Silent. Now, he would cement his loyalty. The display with the Malfoy family before, with Bellatrix, was enough evidence that his actions in regards to Dumbledore had elevated him, if not yet entirely forgiven him for other things.
"My Lord," His voice jerked the tables attention to him. Stunned silence filled the air. "If I may, now that the …" He looked to the feasting snake, "trash has been dealt with, suggest a plan of attack for Potter."
I am Albus Dumbledore's spy. I am Albus Dumbledore's successor. I will not fail.
It was foolish. Reckless. Gryffindor.
Slipping away from the castle. Leaving his protective hiding spots. Going to Grimmauld place. He scavenged and searched. Begged and pleaded for anything. Something to help him cling to life. To hope. To something.
It was easy to disarm the spells, to slip through the house and find what he needed. He apologized, not to Black or Potter, as he took the photo and signature. He needed the reminder.
I am Albus Dumbledore's spy. I am Albus Dumbledore's successor. I will not fail.
Ear. He severed the boys ear.
Fingers dug into his hair. Squeezing, pulling, causing as much pain as he could. Just barely of age. Barely an adult. Barely into his life and he took his ear.
"Severus -" A noise, brief but quick, he forced himself to move. To hide. Minerva's form slipping in, moving to the seat he just vacated. Dumbledore blinked at her, unable to feign sleep as he usually did.
"We lost Alastor." He barely managed to keep quiet, to keep hidden. "You-Know …" She stiffened, paused, looked up at the portrait with an intense hatred. "Voldemort himself did it." He tensed, arm twinging at the use of the name, but held still. Silent. Pushing everything beneath his shields. "Snape," The name was spit out with more hatred than the Dark Lord's had been. "Used a spell of his own, Remus saw him. Severed George Weasley's ear clean off. Bastard fled."
He waited. Listening to the empty silence. It was not an unfamiliar report. He had shared similar just moments ago before sinking into his despair. To hear it again, with the hatred and anger towards him, had been different. Difficult. The silence was broken by Minerva, her voice oddly soothing as she continue to discuss various members of the Order.
"Minerva …" Both looked stunned at the portrait. Blue eyes twinkled for a moment before shifting around the room, barely settling on the hidden alcove before slipping back to the silenced woman. "Don't forget to grieve."
He flinched.
I am Albus Dumbledore's spy. I am Albus Dumbledore's successor. I will not fail.
He could still hear Kingsley's words as he appeared in the middle of pandemonium. He had done what he could. The moment he noticed the auror slipping away he delayed. Kept the focus on the Ministry. A simple spell, barely detectable, and he was able to pick up Kingsley's words. The warning. He gave as much time as he could. Barely minutes was what he managed but he could see it was enough. Could feel Voldemort's fury as yet again Harry Potter escaped his capture.
I am Albus Dumbledore's spy. I am Albus Dumbledore's successor. I will not fail.
"Severus," There was a warning to the portraits voice. "It is pointless -"
"Do not tell me what is pointless," He snarled. Cold fury filled him. "You are nothing but a dead corpse and a memory on canvas. You are what is pointless." He paced. Anger seeping in. Fury pressing in upon him. As it died down he slipped into a chair. "Why is he still hesitant? I have fought beside him. Killed for him." At the portraits look he snarled. "I have taken no other but you."
"Do what you must to prove yourself. The school needs you."
I am Albus Dumbledore's spy. I am Albus Dumbledore's successor. I will not fail.
He listened to all the proposals. All the offers. Listened as one after another they prostrated themselves before the Dark Lord's feet. Begging for this opportunity to please him. It was disgusting. He waited. Assured, in a way, at his continued presence beside the Dark Lord. It was clear he was still being favored, despite the near month of torture after Dumbledore's death.
"My Lord," He bowed, just enough to be acceptable, once everyone left. "If I may be so bold."
"What, Severus, is it you could not say before the others?"
"They are all fools, my Lord," he almost smirked at the shock that flickered across the face before him. It took all his will power to hold himself in the proper manner, befitting his place as a lesser wizard before the Dark Lord. "To think you would be so foolish as to appoint them."
There was no answer. He dared not look up to see what the expression was now. He could feel the increasing fury. It was one thing to insult his fellow Death Eaters but the Dark Lord? That was something else entirely. The response was enough to tell him that he was right, others were being considered. The pain was brief, a quick reminder, once back to his feet he gave the necessary placating gestures.
"If I may," A pause, a brush of the hands. "Those who seek the position are reckless, dangerous. Bellatrix lacks the self control to keep from cursing or killing either student or staff. Rodolphus was barely capable of holding himself in our last few fights, he would not have the strength to hold the staff of Hogwarts in their place. The Carrows are blood thirsty and brutal beings, useful for nothing more than figure heads, neither one of them would hold the command necessary to run the school. Lucius is … disgraced, not worth the thought. Narcissa … she would be unexpected. Reasonable even. A motherly figure placed before the children of our future."
"You suggest Narcissa Malfoy for the position?"
"No, my lord," He rose and looked the Dark Lord dead in the eye. "None of these usurped Albus Dumbledore himself. None of these had the ability to utter the words. Not even those who were there that night. Draco is but a boy, understandable, he will learn in time. But I have yet to fail you," He quickly dropped to his knees at the rising anger. "I failed to permit the Malfoy boy to complete his mission. Failed to keep my cover. Failed to capture Potter. But I have not failed to continue my task of infiltration." He looked up. "I have continued to provide you with information. I have fought beside you. Done as you asked. And I have removed Albus Dumbledore … for you. I am but your humble servant, my Lord."
"You propose yourself?"
"No," He rose. "I propose you, My Lord. I will merely be the face used for the public. All that I would do would be for you."
I am Albus Dumbledore's spy. I am Albus Dumbledore's successor. I will not fail.
He stood at the windows of the office looking out at the grounds.
I am Albus Dumbledore's spy. I am Albus Dumbledore's successor. I will not fail.
The mass landscape glistened in the light of the moon.
I am Albus Dumbledore's spy. I am Albus Dumbledore's successor. I will not fail.
Hands clasped behind his back he held firm.
I am Albus Dumbledore's spy. I am Albus Dumbledore's successor. I will not fail.
At the first glimpse of a carriage he turned, moved back into the office and stood before the slumbering portrait.
"I am your spy, your successor, your right hand. I am the guardian of the Order. The protector of the resistance. I will not fail."
The door shut behind him as he slipped out, blue eyes twinkling as they opened sadly. He did not hear the whispered words of the portrait. Nor would he ever associate the words with himself:
You are a hero.
A/N: Thank you for reading, I apologize for any errors and for the extremely late posting.
