Bored am I, write I shall. Man, am I feeling spiteful tonight...Rated for a poorly written sex scene that I will write later, and adult language.
Disclaimer: No character's are mine except for the one that is. I'm sure you can point her out from the ones that belong to Mrs. Rowling. I like Dr. Pepper.
"I'm going to Hogwarts, I'm going to Hogwarts!!!1!!!!11!!!" Michelle Kikyo Serenity-Rose Delacour-Lupin-Black-Pettigrew-Fudge-Hagrid-Ravenclaw-Figg-WTF was pleased. She had just recieved her letter of acceptance into Hogwarts, the best fucking school EVAR!!!!
She was on the train, and "accidentally" stepped into a compartment where there sat three people, two who we don't care about, but the third was teh sex. He had intelligent gorgeous emerald green leprachaun eyes, and untidy ebony locks the color of the backest night that glittered in the redlight of the setting sun.
Harry looked at Michelle with lustful eyes which is completely out of character, but who gives a fuck about canon right? The original books are written with the idea that children as young as 8 are reading them, but canon rape is fun, and will suit the story better, so yes, Harry is full of teh lust.
It would be hard for any self-respecting young man not to be full of lust for Michelle. She had long flowing locks of gold that tapered down to her petite waist, and eyes the color of the blue-corn moon(can you sing with all the voices of the wind?), and full pouty red lips. She was wear black from head to toe, and punk rock jewelry that she bought at her local Hot Topic. It was obvious she was punk the way she listened to anything that is played on MTV. Nevermind the fact that this is England. My story, fuck you.
The interloper said nothing as she starred into Harry's eyes. Suddenly behind her, Draco Malfoy appeared.
"Hello Potty, you...." His went breathless at the sight of Michelle. Michelle eyed him angrily.
"I think you oughta leave." She said.
"Whatever you say, my sweet." Draco left, and Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Michelle all became best of friends.
At Hogwarts
The feast had begun.
"So Michelle, tell us about your self." All the Gryffindor boys were starring at her. Hell, all the boys in the Great Hall were. Michelle even thought she saw Snape, Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Moody(who I brought back for the hell of it) eyeing her.
"Well my name is Michelle Kikyo Serenity-Rose Delacour-Lupin-Black-Pettigrew-Fudge-Hagrid-Ravenclaw-Figg-WTF, and I am half werewolf, half elf, half angel, half leprechaun, half Cherokee Indian, half fairy, and half mystical magical fury. Never mind that that is fully impossible. I'm a descendent of the greek god and goddess Hades and Persephone. I can do wandless magic, my eyes shift colors according to my mood, I can produce a unicorn patronus(something I have done since age of 6) that at first is a regular silver color, but if you look close enough you can see a shimmering sparkling golden aura about it, my parents died at the hands of Lord Voldemort whose name I speak out loud even though everyone else is a afraid to because I'm not afraid. I fought him once, but then I hit him with a love spell without using my wand that I would hoped would make him love muggles, but instead now he just loves me, and I have to be careful because he keeps trying to kidnap me, and make me his dark queen. Yes, I am fully aware that I can't be past the age of 17 and that makes him around 50 years my senior, but hell, I'd shag Dumbledore if it came down to it. Oh, and I am actually a princess that was living in America, but got transfered here when my powers were shown late at the age of 15, and even though that is a plot device thats supposed to make you amazed at how cool I am, I am aware that in the real world a situation like that is mocked, and technically makes me a retard, but I don't use the word retard, thats politically incorrect, and I'm so smart and the tops of all my classes, that I'm always correct so I just say slow people." Michelle finished.
"You're bloody brilliant." Ron said just like in the movies.
"Will you date me?" Bill Weasly and asked.
"I'm sorry Bill, who isn't at shcool anymore, but from the way I imagined you in the books I think you're hot so I'll put you here anyway. I can't possibly date you. That would be putting you at risk since Voldemort would kill you, and I am valiant like that."
"Ms. Delacour-Lupin-Black-Pettigrew-Fudge-Hagrid-Ravenclaw-Figg-WTF, I need to speak to you alone for a moment to discuss your situation." Snape stated calmly making everyone in the vicinity jump as they all had no idea he had been standing behind them.
"What the fucking hell?!!! You know what, Fuck you Snape, I don't like your attitude!!!11!!! STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR SICK ARSE(thats british for ass) COCONUTS!! FUCK, SHIT, HELL DAMN, FUCKITY FUCK YOU!!! YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELLED OF ELDERBERRIES, YOU DEATH EATER....BAKA(thats japanese for idiot)!!!!" a surprised gasp followed said statement. No one could believe anyone would dare speak to Snape like that.
"You are, like, so mean!!!!" Snape ran away to the dungeons, crying.
"Wow, I can see we're going to get along just fine...." Harry said grinning at her appreciatively. She looked back at him with wet stars glittering in her eyes.
I amuse myself sometimes. Nothing like a kickass Mary Sue parody to end your night....
