When Anya tells her sister that she's getting married Lexa takes her out to the bar so that they can celebrate. Anya and Gustus have been together for longer than she can remember and the whole entire Woods family has loved him from the beginning. She's loved him from the start and is even able to say that she sees him as an older brother. As soon as he stepped into their home two years ago, she knew he was different from all of the previous potentials; it was always serious. Lexa's always known, just by the way he looks at her sister, that he would stick around. He's fiercely loyal and caring, and she can't see her sister spending her life with anyone other than Gustus.
It's this special thing that he and Anya have that gives Lexa hope and it's one of the things that kept her going after Costia – after she was gone and Lexa had thought she just wasn't cut out for love. That she wasn't meant to be loved.
She wants a love like her parents. A love like Anya and Gustus. A love that's always cherished and won't leave. Eventually she knows she'll find it.
And then there's Clarke Griffin. There's always been Clarke. Always making sure she never got off of the right track. Best friends since diapers who learnt everything together from riding bikes to the fact that love presented itself through friendship as well. Always holding a special place in Lexa's heart. Always telling her that Costia never deserved the way she moved mountains for her. Always reminding her that she's more than good enough and "Someday someone will be there and treat you so much better, Lex".
People like Anya and Clarke? They deserve that and much more, so she always does her best to show she cares because she knows that loving someone who doesn't love you back is perhaps the most terrible thing to be accustomed to.
The night Costia had left it was Clarke who she called immediately after. It was only ten minutes later that her hair was being touched by gentle hands while her head was in the blonde's lap.
Months after her break-up with Costia, the realization had finally hit her and she had tried to shovel the feelings deep enough for them to stay down. Tried to tell herself that it only seems appealing because Clarke knows her, she's been there for her, been her rock since longer than she can even remember. She tried to bury it until it didn't want to be buried anymore. Until she had to just admit it to herself and have it become something that was very real. What had started out as a friendship for her certainly wasn't now.
It couldn't be. Not with the way her fingers itched to run through her soft golden hair. Not with the way her laugh is something Lexa always wants to bring out. Not with the way her hugs make her feel safer than she's ever felt. And definitely not with the way a friendly "I love you" from Clarke's mouth makes her head spin more than hearing it from Costia ever had.
Lexa's sure that she loves her more than anything she's ever loved, but she won't tell her.
The one who stares with those beautiful blue eyes is a constant in her life as her best friend and Lexa thinks that she'll never have Clarke look at her the way she once saw her friend look at Finn. She's thankful she's long left him.
That cheating, no good bastard.
She's never been fond of him. Clarke knew this too ("I don't know why you guys can't just get along, Lex"), but for the sake of her best friend's happiness, Lexa tried to accept that he was what she wanted ("It means a lot to me that you're trying, Lex"). Really, she never could understand why Clarke would settle for something so dull.
Lexa's far from being devout to any religion, and she's not sure she believes in anything at all, but she thanks any amount of greater beings every day, because Clarke? Clarke deserves the whole universe and nothing less.
Clarke had gotten home earlier than Finn expected. Isn't that how it always goes in the television shows and movies? You'd think people would have the decency to actually full-heartedly love each other, not break people down and drag them along.
Finn admits to her that it wasn't the first time.
She spent that night with Clarke in the blonde's bed, an arm across her torso and fingers clutched tightly to her shirt while tears dripped from her cheeks. There's never an "I told you so". Clarke needs for someone to be there for her, not tell her that she spent the past year with someone so undeserving of her heart. She spent that night silently raging with anger and thinking of all the different ways she could hurt Finn Collins and get away with it.
When Lexa tells Clarke that Gustus finally proposed to Anya the blonde's heart warms with joy. She's known the Woods family longer than she can even recall and can distinctly remember Lexa's sister being witness to majority of the friendship her and Lexa have. She's happy for Anya and she's equally happy for her best friend because she knows how much Lexa needs this. How much she needs to see that true love isn't fleeting. She knows the brunette has looked to her sister's relationship with wonder and amazement and longing. She knows it's been something that's kept her going.
Lexa has been there for her through thick and thin. She's never judged her, always supported her choices, and always made sure she knows eventually someone will come along and treat her better than Finn ever did. She knew Lexa wasn't his biggest fan, but despite her dislike, she put aside her differences and never even gave her an "I told you so" when it all went wrong.
Costia could have been good for Lexa. She hates to admit it, but other than the fact that she dropped everything and left Lexa for the journalism opportunity in Kandahar, she actually was a decent person. However, she saw what her leaving did to the brunette. Saw how much it pained her to love someone twice as much as they loved her. Saw Lexa pour her whole self and then some into a relationship that was borderline one-sided. The night it happened, she let her fingers run through Lexa's wavy brown hair while she silently sobbed just ten minutes after Costia had left for the airport.
A few months after she left Finn (That cheating mother fucker) is when she finally realized that the reason there was always slight jealousy towards Costia was never just because she took up more of Lexa's time.
"Someday someone will be there and treat you so much better, Lex".
