Okay, I've seen enough.
Nice knowing you.
Ana
I press the send button, and laugh out loud. I'm feeling giddy after my day of sex with the awesome, beautiful Christian Grey. My inner goddess pokes her head out from behind her book. She rolls her eyes at me. Are you sure he's going to think that's funny? She asks me with a smug look on her face. I reread my email. Maybe not, but I'll explain if necessary when he replies.
I continue my workout in my bedroom, with my ear buds embedded deep in my ears. Moving my body was helping the soreness a little. I'm sure it will take days to get over this aching. I've heard horror stories in high school about the loss of virginity and the pain that punishes you for days afterwards. The high I'm on is far outweighing the pain at the moment though. I listen to my iPod and do some toe touches. I'm sure flexibility will come in handy, whether I sign the contract or not.
I glance at my laptop to check my email a few times while exercising. Nothing yet. I wonder what is taking him so long to reply. He is usually more responsive. Maybe he's thinking of some clever comeback. I begin to panic thinking maybe he's moving onto his next potential sub already. I hope I didn't just screw up. Maybe I should call him.
I somehow feel him before I see him. I look over at my door. Holy shit! Christian Grey is standing in the doorway, wearing a white linen shirt and a pair of jeans. He's glaring at me.
I remove my ear buds, surprised to see him. Actually I'm shocked to see him. I never expected him to come over. Had he read my email? Of course he has, my inner goddess sneered at me, chastising me for being totally stupid.
"Christian." I manage to mutter out a greeting.
"Ana." He says tersely to me.
"I didn't expect you to come. I thought you'd just reply to my email."
"I felt your email warranted a reply in person."
Oh crap! He obviously didn't think it was funny. How am I going to dig myself out of this? If I tell him that it was a joke, he'll think I'm stupid, and he might possibly get really angry. "Yes?" I urge him on, holding my ground. I feel my knees go weak beneath me. I sit on the bed and look up at him waiting on a response of any kind. This could go either way.
"So it was nice knowing me?" he asks. He closes the door and sits next to me on the bed.
His proximity is almost too much to bear. He smells so good, and I smell…well like I've been running for the last thirty minutes. "Very nice." I finally spit out. I adjust my position to put some distance between us.
"So you're declining my offer?" he asks me, his eyes piercing my soul.
"No, I'm still considering your contract. Researching the terms."
He nods slowly. I can see the anger growing inside him and it scares me. I can see the darker side of Christian Grey at the moment. "Oh Ana!" he says. It's a warning.
I know something is coming. All my instincts tell me to tear out of this bedroom and run, but I'm sure he's in better shape than I am. He'd catch me before I reach the front door. I look up at him, hoping he will change his mind. "Don't be mad at me." I beg. Where is this coming from? I'm not the type of girl to beg. What's happening to me? Am I losing my self respect?
He leans over toward me, and kisses me on the lips gently. I kiss him back, gently testing the waters. Then he snakes his arms around my waist and pulls me close to his chest. His kiss grows needier. I respond, and wrap my hands around his neck.
"Is this nice, Ana?" he asks me. I can hear the emphasis on the word nice. Note to self: don't use the word nice when describing Christian ever again.
"Exceptionally nice." I whisper to him, and then continue with the kiss.
He leans me back on the mattress, and positions himself beside me, never breaking the kiss. He runs one hand up inside my camisole and finds one nipple already peaked. "Oh Ana, you're so responsive. Your body wants to be mine." He twists my nipple causing me to harden even further.
Through his jeans, I can feel his erection growing with desire next to me. That's for me. I'm causing this reaction from him, and that fact amazes me. I place my hand on the bulge in his jeans as I continue the kissing. "I'm not the only one who's responsive, Christian." I whisper to him as I look in his eyes.
He smiles at me. "Oh Ana, what are you doing to me?"
"Feeling what I've done." I kiss his neck. I wish so badly that I can touch his chest.
"You're touching me, without permission." He warns me in a teasing whisper.
Permission? "Was I supposed to ask permission?" I ask him, as I unbutton his jeans, and then unzip them. I know I'm defying him, daring him to stop me.
He smiles at me. "You're not very good at following rules. We'll have to work on that after you sign the contract."
Sure. Right. Dream on, Mr. Grey. I will not become a docile and dutiful submissive. "And, right now?" I continue my journey inside his jeans, inside his underwear. I wrap my hand around his girth and pull out his impressive manhood.
Christian groans a low growl. "I'll have to let it go for now." He pulls my camisole off over my head, then pushes me up the bed further, then slams his mouth over one nipple. He sucks hard at first, and then eases up when I wince. He pulls my sweats down to my knees. "Oh Ana." He purrs appreciatively.
His purr is almost my undoing. I continue to stroke him up and down, just as he demonstrated earlier. He likes what I'm doing to him. I feel powerful to have so much control over him. I feel him remove his shoes, kicking them off. He manages to wedge his foot inside my sweats and push them down over my feet. They fall to the floor. He spreads my legs one at a time, with his hand. He runs a hand up my inner thigh to my apex, causing me to sigh in ecstasy at the first touch. I'm still a little sore, but this feels wonderful.
He gently presses his fingers in, even though I'm still wearing panties. I gasp in excitement. It hurts, but I want more. It feels beyond good. I slip my hand down to his scrotum and feel one side then the other.
"Gently Ana." He chastises me.
Oh, I'm supposed to be gentle with him, but he's not supposed to be gentle with me. That's a double standard if I've ever heard one. I softly rub his scrotum, feeling his manhood with my thumb. "Better?" I ask.
"Yes." He answers me, then slips my panties to the side, and slips a finger inside me. He makes a circular motion, feeling all sides of me. He begins kissing a trail down to my belly button. I arch my back in anticipation of what was coming next. After French kissing my belly button for a few seconds, he begins licking the edge of my panties. I'm panting uncontrollably now. I can't help it. Damn it. How did I lose control here? He's too good at sex. It's not fair.
I kiss him hungrily, thrusting my tongue in his mouth. Our tongues tangle for a few minutes, while our hands work each other over. I can't stop groping him, while he slowly enters and exits me with his finger skillfully. He uses his thumb to circle my clit occasionally.
"More Christian." I plead with him. I want more than his fingers.
He inserts another finger, stretching me out more, causing another sensation to run through my body. I pant even harder. I won't be able to take much more of this. He steps up and slips my panties down my legs. He pulls his jeans off, pulling a condom out of his pocket as he does. He rips opens a foil packet. It's music to my ears. Finally I'm about to have what I want more than anything in the world right now. He smiles at me. It's an evil smile, as if he has further plans for me.
"Scoot up to the top of the bed in the center." He orders me.
I want what's waiting on me, hard and ready, sheathed with a condom, so I do exactly as he says. I wait expectantly.
"Raise your hands above your head." He commands.
I'm not quite sure about this, but I do it anyway. He grabs the tie from my bathrobe that is hanging on the door. His smile is enormous as he walks over to me, gracefully. He ties one wrist, then runs the robe tie through the iron railing, then grabs my other wrist and ties it.
"How's that?" he asks.
I give him a look. How am I supposed to answer that?
"Can you move?" he asks.
I pull on the ties, demonstrating to him that they are secure. I won't be going anywhere any time soon. I shake my head to him.
He sits down at my side, looking me over. "What shall I do to you now, Ana?"
"Well, I was hoping…" I start, trying to be funny.
He places a finger on my lip to silence me. "I was thinking out loud."
I look at him. What is he thinking? Was this smart of me to let him tie me up like this? My inner goddess is sitting up in her chair with her eyes open wide as if she's watching a scary movie. Oh boy. I lean forward to try to sit up, but I can't make it to a full sitting position. I'm pulling against the restraints.
"Do you want up?" he asked me. He knew that I did. "Lie back Ana. I'm going to show you how nice it is to know me."
Oh there's that word again. I wish I hadn't used that word now. "Can you be nice when you show me?" I ask, trying to be funny.
He smirks at me. Oh no! I didn't know what was in store for me, but I'm scared now. He uses both hands to caress me from my knees to my chest. OK, this wasn't so bad. He tweaks both nipples roughly until I squirm under his touch. "Be still Ana, or I'll have to start over."
Oh this is going to be hard. Delayed gratification. At least I can see that he is still excited, and still wants me. His manhood is standing at full attention as he hovers above me and kisses my chest. He works his way down, and then positions himself between my legs. He uses two hands to open me up and look inside. I feel violated, but I feel so connected to him. It's so erotic.
"Is this nice?" he asks.
Oh there's that word again. "Yes!" I yell out in frustration. "It's nice. It's exceptional. It's mind blowing."
He chuckles, and then slips his tongue against my clit tentatively as if tasting the flavor of an ice cream cone. He pushes his tongue inside me and swirls it around which causes me to come unglued. I thrust my hips back and forth trying to keep time with his tongue. It's almost impossible, but that doesn't keep me from trying. I desperately need to keep him moving. Just as I'm almost to the edge, he stops abruptly.
"That's enough of that." he says.
What? No! I want to scream out. I am in desperate need, and he's stopping. He hovers above my body, and places his manhood at my entrance. Oh yes, please. He waits gazing into my eyes.
"Please." I beg.
"Please what?" he insists, holding off, holding out.
"Please fuck me sir." I beg. I'd do anything right now to get him inside me.
He smiles a victorious smile then slams himself inside me. It hurts some, but I don't care. I crash my hips against his repeatedly until I find my release. Oh the sweetness of the release feels like heaven. I relax for a second, before he comes with a final powerful thrust inward. "Oh Ana baby." He yells to me so loudly that I'm scared Kate will hear us.
I laugh at his outburst. The giddy feeling has returned. My inner goddess is satisfied; lying sprawled out in a hammock under a banana tree on a beach. She's exhausted.
He withdraws from me, causing a sharp sudden empty feeling. He lies down beside me. "I'm so mad at you Ana."
I smile at him.
He shakes his head, warning me. "I'm serious Ana. Do you know what that email did to me? I thought you were saying no completely. No negotiations whatsoever."
"It was a joke." I confess.
"A joke?" he asks angrily as he hovers above my body.
OK. Maybe I shouldn't have confessed my sin while I'm tied to my bed. What if he just leaves me here? I'd be so embarrassed to be forced to call Kate to untie me. And, what if Kate already left for the weekend to go with Elliot? I'd be stuck here for days. I start to panic contemplating the endless disasters this presented.
"Where's that sense of humor? I know you have one." I try to be funny again.
"Oh I'm very displeased, Ana." He says then shakes his head from left to right slowly. He leans over closer to me, and brings his mouth down onto mine. He doesn't kiss me. He simply hovers there for a second.
I'm confused. I pull my head up and try to kiss him, but he pulls up just out of my reach. I pull back and look up at him. His eyes give away nothing.
"I think you deserve a punishment fuck Ana."
"What?" I laughed. I'd never heard of that. "Isn't that an oxymoron?"
"And a spanking." He adds, firmly, his face rigid.
Oh god! Is he serious? I didn't think the hard stuff would start until after I signed the contract. He steps up off of the bed, and flips me over to my stomach. My hands are now held together tightly above my head due to the tie being twisted now. I try to look back at him to see if he's serious. I barely catch a glance of his face. He's got a smile plastered on it, as if he's going to enjoy this. He sits on the bed beside me, still naked.
"Are you ready Ana?" he asks. I can hear the pleasure of anticipation in his voice.
I don't think I'm ready for this but I'm so damned curious. I've read so much on the internet about this, and maybe there's something to it. So many people seem to enjoy this type of sex. How bad could it be? "I'm ready." I say bravely. My inner goddess almost faints in disbelief. I may be joining her soon.
Christian rubs my ass seductively all around, then he brings his hand down on it. Hard. I wince. It did hurt, but I can handle it. He rubs me again, and then he smacks me again. Ouch! That one kind of hurt. He rubs again, not nearly as long this time, then another smack. OK, this is getting painful. How can anyone like this? He rubs me again, as I'm reeling from the pain. But I do like the rubbing part. I'm undecided as to whether it's a fair tradeoff. As I'm deliberating, Christian brings his hand down even harder this time.
"Ouch!" I yell out to him. Oh, I hope Kate doesn't hear this.
"You've been bad, Ana. I must punish you." Christian says. There's pleasure saturating his voice. It scares me that he's getting turned on by this. He brings his hand down several more times, each time hurting worse than the last.
"Stop, please Christian. You're hurting me." I say firmly. I'm done with this. I don't want to play this game any longer. It's painful and makes me feel like an errant child.
"This is not supposed to be pleasurable Ana. And the fucking you'll get afterwards will be for my pleasure, not yours." He brings his hand down again and again. I've lost count as to how many times he has struck my bare behind.
I squirm, trying to wiggle out of his grasp. He easily returns me to my position. I lay still in my humiliating position, hoping it will be over soon. I can't believe he likes this shit. This is horrible. He is fucked up. This is so wrong. I can't take any more. "Christian, stop!" I say firmly, trying to let him know that I'm serious.
"The safe word is the only thing that will actually stop me, Ana." He warns me.
"Red!" I yell out. "Red! Red! Red! I want you to stop Christian. I don't like this."
Christian steps up and unties my hands. I roll over to my back. My butt hurts something fierce. I know that I have tears in my eyes but I don't care. I look up into Christian's face. He is looking at me with a hurt face, as if I've hurt his feelings somehow. I don't understand this at all. I should be the one with that hurtful look on my face. I stare at him for a minute.
"I'm sorry." He mutters, and then he leans over to kiss me.
I turn my head away from him. I don't want to kiss him. I don't want to touch him. I sit up on the bed. He sits next to me. He tries to put his arm around me. I shrug away from him. I stand up to take the weight off of my aching butt and put some distance between us. "I'm sorry Christian."
"You'll learn as we continue your training. You're still new to this." He says, and then reaches up to my hand.
I pull my hand away from his grasp. "No, I won't. I'll never understand why you need to hurt me. I will never like being hurt." I start to cry.
"It's the way I'm built, Ana. I have to have control."
"It's not the way I'm built. I can't be your submissive, Christian. I can't do this. Ever again. I won't do it."
"You're turning down my offer?" he asks, his voice soft.
"Yes. I don't want any part of it. Take your laptop, your phone, and your car. They were all on loan. I'm returning them now. And please take your books too. That'll save us another awkward meeting." I say strongly as I stand in front of him naked, feeling ashamed for allowing this to happen to me. How did I let it get this far? I'm a grown woman for Christ's sake.
"Ana, maybe I rushed you. We could ease into it slower next time. Can we talk about this?"
"No Christian. I don't want to talk. I've been spanked, humiliated, and degraded by a man that I thought really cared for me. I want you to leave now."
"Ana, I don't want to leave you like this. Let me stay and make it up to you. I want to make sure you're alright." He stands up and steps closer to me.
I know what he's trying to do. He's trying to distract me with sex. It wasn't going to work this time. I'd always given in because I loved the way he smelled, and the effect he had on me when he was close. I wasn't going to be sidetracked this time. "I'll be fine Christian. After you leave."
Christian pulls on his clothes, and grabs the phone and the laptop. He glances over at me several times. It was almost as if he was hoping I would stop him. I didn't. I watch as he walks out the door, out of my life. When I hear the front door close, I slip my sweats and camisole back on. The sweats chafe my reddening butt. I make my way slowly to the bathroom to take a hot bath.
I turn on the hot water, and then I hear Kate knock on the bathroom door. "Ana? Are you OK?" she asks through the door.
"I'm fine, Kate. Or I will be." I answer her, hoping she'll just let this one go without the Kate Kavanagh inquisition. Am I fine? Will I ever be fine again? Does a girl ever get over a guy like Christian Grey? My heart is aching. I realize that my butt will stop hurting way before my heart does.
More coming soon. You didn't think I'd end it that way, did you? Thanks for reading. Please review and tell me what you think. I've never done fan fiction before.
I also write as Autumn Brown on Siren Bookstrand and Amazon if you'd like to take a look at my first two published books.
My new website is here: AutumnBrownBooks
