Prompt from Paufa:

I really want to see Dick babysitting Damien while trying to work on a case. I wonder how Peter and the team would react to that.


The Mini-Neal


"Hey Neal," Peter said as he walked into the office. He was going to walk right past Neal's desk when he noticed the other chair pulled up and a kid sitting on it. The kid's feet were pulled up on the chair and he was resting the latest handheld game console on his knees as he played. "Did someone lose a kid?"

Neal looked up and saw where Peter's gaze was. He had been hoping that Peter would just ignore the new addition however, he knew that it wasn't to be.

"That's Damian. I'm babysitting him today."

"I am not a 'baby,'" Damian grumbled. "I don't know why I apparently require adult supervision, of which you barely count Caffrey, but Father ordered me to remain within your sights for the sake of his well-being."

Over at his desk, Jones snorted a laugh. Peter couldn't help smiling as well. Although the kid's words were sharp, Neal didn't seem offended. His expression was softer than Peter had ever seen. It was a little how Neal looked when he listened to Mozzie go over some new conspiracy theory. It was indulgent.

"His father only phrased it that way because he was worried about what Damian would get up to unsupervised. This is a kid who managed to con his way into acting lessons on his father's dime without him realising it."

"It was not a con, I lost a bet," Damian countered. "And the lessons were worth it."

"So you're an actor?" Jones questioned.

"No."

"The lessons were for the opposite reason. Damian's... not very good at acting," Neal added.

"What about the other kind of acting?" Peter asked. He wanted Neal to know he didn't fully trust this kid since he had some kind of connection to Neal.

"Damian has a good moral compass," Neal said proudly. "He won't waste his time on what he sees as 'meaningless little tricks'."

"As long as he stays out the way, he can stay," Peter informed Neal. "However, try and make other arrangements in the future, this is no place for a child."

"It's an office. Your statement would make more sense if Caffrey had taken me out to the site of a horrific murder or the location of a heist."

Neal chuckled nervously as Peter stared at him. This kid spoke more formally than most adults.

"He's a good kid," Neal insisted again.


This would be the day with a case requiring Neal's expertise. Peter thought of the kid and knew that it wouldn't be good to have a child running around the possible crime scene. However, Hughes had ordered that they get started as soon as possible as it was a tricky one. The kind of case Neal loved. A number of pieces of bought jewellery had been revealed to be fake and, as they had all come from the same high-end jewellery store, Peter and Neal were being sent in to see if they could find any more fakes and figure out what was going on.

Peter placed the case in Neal's hands. "I was thinking that we could go in under the guise of me buying a present for El, however I don't know what you're doing to do with the kid."

"Damian'll be fine." Neal handed the file back. "If anyone questions him, I'll just answer with the truth; he needed a babysitter and I was the only one available."

"So where are Damian's parents?" Peter asked.

"None of your business, Fed," Damian grumbled from the door. He had finally followed Neal up to Peter's office. Although Peter was not happy that the kid had come up after only five minutes. He had thought that Damian would stay away longer, especially since he had made his distaste with being watched over clear.

"He sounds like Mozzie," Peter informed Neal.

Peter could see Neal relieving the past couple of moments as he compared Damian's words to Mozzie's. A smile grew on Neal's face as the comparison became clear.

"Who is this 'Mozzie' and why do you think I sound like him?" Damian demanded to know. Peter and Neal both ignored the question and started towards the elevator. "Gra-Caffrey! Fed Burke! Explain!"

Neal chuckled. "You know, you're risking life and limb by not answering him."

Peter glanced back at the red-faced pre-teen. The kid's face was puffy, almost like he was holding back tears of frustration.

"I'm sure I'll be fine. I've faced scarier."

Damian seemed to take this as an insult as he attempted to glare and hole through Peter all the way to the store.


It took Damian three minutes to blow the whole cover. He looked up at the assistant manager and informed him to get a manager or the owner as Peter was FBI and they were here to investigate the numerous fakes they were selling as 'real'. Neal was forced to admit that it did look like there were a number of fakes missed in and that he was impressed Damian noticed but not impressed that Damian blew their cover.

Neal became in charge of sorting the stock into 'fake,' 'not fake,' and 'not fake but mis-priced'. The third category was created when Neal determined the under- and over-inflated prices of some of the items.

"This diamond necklace shouldn't be worth this much. See how they form the links? They're done to hide how there's not as much material in the chain as there should be. It's not what you'd find in a necklace of this price."

"You could ask for more with this sapphire ring. It's a fine quality piece."

Peter found the most entertaining thing to be those times when Neal could instantly tell before even touching a piece. He always gave his reasons but it was amusing to see him announce 'fake' the moment an item was placed in front of him.

Damian didn't find it as interesting now. He sat on a chair, tapping away on his phone. Every now and then, he would glance up but his expression was set in a frown.

Peter wasn't just standing around though. He questioned the manager and owner.

"Tell me half your stock ends up fake and no one notices."

Of course, they had no idea.

When Peter thought he had enough information to give him a couple of leads, a voice commented;

"Obviously, one of the employees are taking notes on the stock and switching it out for cheaper items and selling the others over the internet. My money's on the assistant manager who's 'cleaning' in the back, using the fake name and listening to our conversations."

Neal sighed. "Damian, you can't just accuse someone without evidence. There's due process."

Peter snorted a laugh. "I never thought I would hear the words 'due process' from your mouth, Neal."

Neal frowned at him but only playfully. "I'm just telling Damian he needs to have more reason and less conjecture."

"I have reasons," Damian informed them. "Reason 1, this has obviously been going on for a while so the criminal has to frequent here often. But a customer wouldn't have the access required to make a switch like this without getting caught. Not alone at least. Which means that there's an employee either doing this or working with another person to pull this off. Reason 2, the assistant manager is here cleaning. Sure, he could just need something to do while we're investigating but why not just go home for the day when it became clear that we didn't need to talk to him."

Peter mouthed 'we?' to Neal, questioning why this kid was including himself in Peter's team. Neal just shrugged with a smile as he let Damian continue.

"Also," Damian pulled out a wallet from behind his back. "I lifted this. There's three different names across five different cards in here. Your assistant manager isn't who they say they are."

Peter didn't know whether to be glad that it seemed like their case was solved or to be annoyed at the kid who was basically a more grumpy Caffrey, right down to the wallet stealing.

"Give me that," he said, taking the wallet from the kid. He radioed Jones outside to watch for the assistant manager and went to look out the back for them. The kid was probably right as the assistant manager had gone out the back.


Neal stared blankly at the paperwork Peter handed him.

"This is-"

"Everything for the case the kid just solved. Now you have to connect evidence to our charge, enough to prove that he did it. Plus some extra forms to log the kid's presence and assistance in our investigation."

Neal flipped through the paper. It was thicker than his thumb when all piled up. Even if most of it was lawyer-speak definitions and instructions for the forms, it was still a lot of work to go though.

"But Peter-"

"You brought the kid, you do the corresponding paperwork," Peter said. "Welcome to my world."

Now Neal looked annoyed with the kid, who seemed quite pleased with himself. There wouldn't be much support for the ex-con as everyone was enjoying seeing Neal get a taste of his own medicine.