What could of happened

Grissom laid on his sofa... he was growing old he felt it in his bones,,,, he was finally settling to the idea he would grow old an die alone, he tried to not think about it but sitting in the house alone he felt it... he had been through so much and he didnt know how much more he could take...

Sara had left without knowing his feelings, lady heather was murdered and brass had been diasnosed with cancer,,,, his life was falling apart... he knew he had wasted his life being foolish and being to scared to commit to anyone,,,,

he had played with Sara's emotions for so long and then she left,,, he had no idea where she was or what she was doing when she left, she made it clear that she didn't want to be in touch with him... she was in touch with the others but not him...

the day she left was so vivid in his mind... she strolled up to him in the corridor he was talking to Hodges... she kissed me, her lips felt so soft then she pushed me away and walked off... he was confused,,,, she had left him a letter...

Gil,

you know i love you, but i can no longer walk around pretending I'm ok and with you keep pushing me away, I can't handle it anymore, I am leaving vegas and the job, please do not contact me as I do not want to talk to you again, I can't deal with it.

I will miss you but this is the end,

my love always

Sara.

It had broken his heart, he cried when he got home for 3hours... his heart had been crushed,,, he did try to contact her but it had become obvious she had changed her number... he had tried to carry on then he got the call that Lady Heather had been brutally murdered by an ex punter... he was called to the scene before anyone realised who it was,,,, he was deverstated.. he had no one left in the world...

Then Brass suddenly needed time off he got worried, he went ot his house to find him on the floor sobbing... he opened up saying he had been diagnosed with testicular cancer... he was going to have chemo but he was terrified... from then on Grissom had spent as much of his time as he could with him helping him... it took his mind off what was going on with him...

Last night he had a dream about sara... her face was haunting his dreams,,, he wanted to see her or at least hear her,,,, Cath,,, ill try get information out of Cath...he thought... at work he did try but cath was having none of it

"Gil she's moved away, and moved on, leave her be... she's made it clear for you to leave her alone so stop trying to get back, it won't work"

moved on.. what does she mean Sara's moved on... with life or am i missing the bigger picture...

it puzzled him for sometime...

then his world ended Warrick died in his arms,,, he was at the end,, he wanted to end it all,,, he had lost everyone he loved... what was left for him?

He went back to the lab, stripped for processing, showered and went to his office to hide... he walked in and he he was dumb struck infront of him was Sara.,,,

no your dreaming she wouldnt be here,,, no way... she reached out for him, he allowed her to hug him " I got the first flight out as soon as i heard"... he couldn't believe she was there,,, holding him,,, suddenly his worries went away,,,

they sat talking about what had happened and how he felt... then the others came in to say Hi... everyone looked amazed that she was sat with him...

they decided what to do with regards to Warricks funeral and all that stuff... Sara stayed with Grissom.. they talked more and he felt all his feeling come back for her... she looked stunning and he so much wanted to profess his feelings... she excused herself to go to the bathroom.. while she was gone her phone rung... 'hun bun' flashed up on the screen,,,, who could be hun bun?.. she walked back in and he noticed a ring on her finger... his heart sank.. she was engaged, hun bun must be her fiance... he said he had to go and walked out...she's moved on just as Cath said... that's it,,,,

He went home and found his scotch stash,,, he turned off his phone and drank and drank,,, he knocked back drink after drink... he didn't care about anything... the vision of Sara with a ring on her finger kept flashing into his mind... how could he of expected her to be gone this long and be single still...

there was a knock at the door,he stayed quiet and ignored it,, he didn't want to see anyone... his heart was even more borken,,,,

he got out paper and a pen and wrote a long letter tittled to anyone who cares... he spilled his heart about Sara, Heather, Brass, and Warrick... he was sobbing now he definatly needed more drink,,,, he'd run out,,, he felt really light headed but he needed drink,,,, he got his car keys and climbed into the car... he probably shouldn't drive but he needed more drink,,, he needed to drown the pain more...

he was driving along when he felt sleepy... visions of Sara flooded his head,,, "I love you"...

BANG

'Gil Grissom was a serious man who loved the people around him, he worked hard to serve the public and defend his colleagues who loved him very much, he has recently faced many loses and finally his emotions beat him, I feel it in my bones that his soul is still with us all and his soul will live on forever, we miss you so much Gil'

read out Cath, struggling to hold back to tears... 2 funerals in a week was too much...

she had sat by his side begging him to wake from his coma but he never did, he had given up,,,, driver fault it read on the report but she would never believe it was suicide, that wasnt his style... she had gone to his house to see him once he'd gone missing, if only she'd carried on banging on the door she may of been able to stop him... she had found his letter reading out all his feelings, he was in such pain and no one knew...

Sara was struggling with his death... she had read the letter and she blamed herself, she knew he'd seen her ring and stormed out...she didn't even try to stop him... now he's dead and he doesn't know the truth... she collected her stuff from canada, she left her fiance and stayed in vegas returning to her job... but it never felt the same again without Grissom...

The rest of the team all felt partly responsable for his death but promised to carry on his legacy and be strong... which at times was hard... but with Sara back it helped Cath and Nick carry on, but life would never be the same again...