Disclaimer: We don't own Gakuen Alice
Summary:"When you love other people so much learn when to fight and learn when to let go."- Mikan
But you can't touch me now
There's no feeling left
If you think I'm coming back
Don't hold your breath
What you did to me boy I can't forget
If you think I'm coming back
Don't hold your breath
-Nicole
"See you later Natsume, I'll wait for you at the school gates after school." I said to my boyfriend as he was already going to his class. Yes I am, the girlfriend of the infamous handsome Natsume Hyuuga, the one and only crimson-eyed lad with matching striking raven hair, smart, intelligent and excellent in sports.
"Okay, bye." He replied to me, kisses me on the forehead and then walks away. I caught the sight of his back and smiles as I realize how lucky am I right? He was Mr. Perfect. I was pretty fine-looking myself but still any girl would die for him just to be his girlfriend, although I find him always going somewhere and missing these days, still I think he was busy like me preparing for a competition.
"Mikan come on let's go." My best friend Hotaru told me as she awakened me while I drown in my thoughts and as I tried to catch up with her. We're on our way to go to the auditorium to listen to the orientation for the Science and Math Quiz Bee we will be entering together.
Even though the teachers were discussing some important details at the contest I couldn't help myself to ponder about my relationship with Natsume. I wish he could always be by my side and stay with me forever, I know it's just like a set up for us, because before we were just being push to each other by our friends because of our good reputations so that's why we became together, I don't really know if he likes me before but I trust him.
After School at the School Gates...
I was waiting for him but he didn't show up yet it was already getting late, I texted him and waited for his reply but there was none so I tried calling him but still the line is busy. I was so getting worried he might be in trouble. I was about to go find him when I saw Ruka together with the team, they were Natsume's teammates and friends.
"Ruka, have you seen Natsume?" I asked the blond and waited for his reply. I was shock at his words when he told Natsume came home already.
"But why? I-I... we have an agreement to meet after school and go together" I said as I was half furious and half heartbroken, why would he ditch me, I know we don't do lovey-dovey stuff like other couples but I always has been there for him, why would he do this.
"I'm sorry Mikan maybe he's just too tired after practice." He said, trying to reassure me. I just agree with him maybe that's the reason, I must understand him, after all I am also busy due to these contests and he's not even complaining maybe I bit over reacted.
The days pass and as the seasons change, there were some slight changes like not going home together but we were always side by side as we go to our classes and we were happy together.
But at his birthday we couldn't spent it together, because he was busy. He said something and more excuses i said it's fine but it's not, I was hoping that we could be together but I kept it up inside knowing it was a selfish request. It was the same as my birthday, but this time I perfectly get it because it was New Year's, It can't be helped but somewhere in my heart I was saying at myself what a fool. I was slowly taking and accepting all the facts that we were drifting apart.
One Afternoon...
It was already finish, finally some freedom from lessons, since we rarely get together now, I was going to Natsume's place to bring him a gift, I bought this using the price money me and Hotaru won the competition first place. I was about to enter but I saw some shadows, two people was lip-locking out at the corner of the locker room.
My tears were running down across my face, I was so damn dead. I was crush, torn apart along with my heart that was shattered into a million pieces. I felt my knees getting weaker and weaker as I stared at the two figures. I may refuse to believe it but I have to face the truth even though it hurts a lot. I left my gift in front of the door and silently escape the hallway to avoid them noticing me.
I was running but was stopped when I bumped with Hotaru, she saw me sobbing and crying my tears out. She asked "What happened?" I look up and told her everything.
"I think maybe, it time you voice out your side, he has been ditching you more often now right?" Hotaru said and sigh after that.
"I don't know, maybe it's just a misunderstanding, after all I couldn't see anything clearly, it was too dark you know." I tried to defend; I was in the state of denial that time. Tomorrow, I'll just try to ask him me myself.
The next day...
"Good morning Natsume." I tried to cover up the pain with my smile as I greeted him.
"Good morning. Hey it's a miracle your early today." Natsume said while smirking or smiling to me. That smile of him was what captured my heart hehe.
"Mou, Natsume you're being mean again, I can't believe you." I said pouting to him.
"Oi, hurry up." He replied to me while grabbing my risk and dragging me to our first class.
"Natsume/Mikan I have something to ask you?" Both of us said at the same time. I giggled and he smiled a bit at the coincidence. "You go first." He said unto me. "No, do the honours, mine can wait." I flash him one of my goofy smiles, even though it was important I was hoping he was telling me sorry about always ditching that will somehow give me comfort that he was not the one I saw yesterday.
"Go to the prom with me." He asked, no, more like declared, even though that was sort of selfish, that was sweet of him for me. "Okay, sure I'll go with you." I said with happiness overflowing in my heart, that was enough for me to believe that he was honest.
My mind was clear of doubt of him already, I kissed him in the cheeks and smile the whole day.
When the day of the Prom arrived I was so excited to see him and attend the dance with him. I wore a pink red dress with matching white heels. I grab my purse and excitedly waited at the garden our meeting place before we go to the prom together.
Hours pass it was already 9pm, the party started at 5 and will be ending at midnight. I was still waiting, the sky was getting darker and darker by the second, wish it won't rain but yeah luck is not on my side. The rain pours down heavily, then my phone vibrated, it was Hotaru, she was calling me. I pick it up and said:
"Hello, Hotaru?" I said weakly as I answer her call.
"Where the hell, are you the other idiot's already here." She yelled at me at the phone. I dropped the phone, I was speechless. That's it, the final draw. I can't take it no more. I barged in the place and saw him there with his friends.
Shocked, was an understatement compare to his real reaction when he saw me dripping wet, he was already...drunk with a girl. I smiled while walking near him, I stop in front. I was about to cry but I hold it back, I don't want him to see me crying because one time he said that he hates when he see my tears.
"You know Natsume, I can understand if you have some plans, I just wish that you will say it to me."
"Mikan..." Natsume said unable to process his thoughts, if this was any normal day I would be laughing my head out but since it's not so I'm not gonna do so.
"Um, Natsume do you love me? No wrong, wrong, let me rephrase that, Natsume do you hate me?" I said while being silly as always, I know my question is stupid.
"NO! I don't hate you. I-I..." He replied, he was about to continue but I cut him off.
"Thanks, thanks for being honest, you don't have to pretend already, I'm okay" I said while I hugged him fast and stand up and flash a big grin. "Hehe, thanks! Bye! " I said and then walk away with my heads up high. He was about to grab me but, I dodge him, lucky me.
Later that night I cried, I know I love him and I should have sort things out but hey as they say when you love other people so much learn when to fight and learn when to let go because letting go doesn't signifies weakness but the exact opposite, I was just hoping someday he'll find his match, the one that he will learn to love naturally and not by just force. I know I became a martyr several times but I was happy that I have become a part of his life. I know I wasn't good enough for him but I know I did everything to make him happy, but now it's my turn to have my happiness, I know I can't please every body. I tried to be a picture perfect girl but I am no barbie, sorry Natsume.
The Next Day...
I saw him again but this time, I avoided his gaze and just smile. He was catching up to me and will say something but I just pass by him, we are not in a drama show so lets face reality right? I will move on and be strong just for you and when that day comes I will find my own match.I know I am a fool for hoping but my feelings for you was day I can find someone who can love me as I love you. I've already been a fool once and I'm not doing it twice, I'm not coming back anymore so don't wait.
END
A/N:
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