Shadows and Regrets

Have been trying to continue writing Still a Need for Heroes but I've been in this kind of funk recently that has hindered my mood so I figured I'd write this little dribble of thoughts I composed while running the other morning.

As usual, I am majorly influenced by music so the song that inspired me to do this one is Shadows and Regrets by Yellowcard. I would strongly advise listening to it to get the full feel.

This disregards anything from the Archieverse that might have significant impact on this story so just accept it with an open mind – probably my first story that doesn't have substantial canon-ness to it.


The day had been a long, yet unfulfilling one. Business at the office was demanding and the most break that was experienced during the day was about fifteen seconds at the water cooler every hour or two. Even lunch was spent at the desk, behind the computer, and on the phone. The worst part about it all – it was just like the day before, and the day before that one, and the day before that one. The monotonous drone of worker bees flying around the cubicles feeling like what they were doing was making a difference in the world was as sickening as a grotesque and underfed infant from an undeveloped nation. But there was nothing to be changed, no way to move forward, nothing to be done but the filing of papers that were plopped down on the desk every morning.

Sonic was sulking over a glass of whisky at the normal bar just down the street from his office building. He reflected on all what happened today at work because there was nothing else to reflect about. Of course his pay wasn't bad. It wasn't great but he had pulled a living and resided in a decent apartment near the outer banks. But the apartment was empty until he returned from work and his body felt the same emptiness as he knew once he entered his apartment, all he would do is just wake up the next morning to repeat the same process. He hated returning to that place. It held such a sense of unwelcoming with every thought of the next day. Just one reason he liked to stay at the bar after work, at least until happy hour was done and through around seven o'clock.

The bartender came up to the hedgehog and poured him another glass, even though he wasn't even half done with the previous one. "It's 'bout near that time sonny. Figured I'd hand ya out another right now to save yer the money lata." He explained with his elderly, poor-man city accent. Sonic lightly lifted his hand in a thankful response. The barkeep has been serving the broken hedgehog for a while now and understood the little gesture, gave a half pity-filled smile and moved on.

Sonic was taking another sip of his whisky when someone came up next to him and took the vacant bar stool to his right. He didn't bother looking up at the fellow and got into the habit of minding his own business a while back. "Excusez-moi, barkeep?" The guy asked with somewhat of a rushed tone. The bartender finished polishing a mug and attended to the Frenchmen. "Do you know ze fastest way to ze airport? Underground routes preferably, I do not enjoy cab rides."

But before an answer could be given, Sonic spoke up, knowing the path easily as he too didn't like cabs as they were too slow for him. "There's one about a block south of here at the corner of Madison and 5th." He took a sip of his whisky and continued. "Take the yellow route and it will take you straight to Flightway road which leaves about a block of a walk to the main terminal."

The traveler and the bartender stood for only a short moment in slight awe at the statement. "Zank you, sir." The traveler said, gently yet welcomingly pulled back Sonic's hunched over shoulder to reveal an extended hand, offering to be shaken. But the hand and its owner was frozen at the sight of who was speaking to him. "Sonic?"

Sonic looked up and saw a familiar looking coyote in a casual outfit. "An- Antoine?" Sonic responded in the same perplexity. He stood up in near jubilee and pulled the old friend in for a hug "Antoine! How's it been buddy?" He asked.

Antoine responded in just the same tone. "Great! How about yourself?"

"It's been…good." Sonic said, losing a bit of his enthusiasm toward the end. "What are you up too?"

"I am actually about to head back to ze hometown; Knothole." He explained.

"Really?" The hedgehog looked a little puzzled. "Do you live there?" He had to ask. The last thing he remembered about Knothole was it slowly losing its magic it held when they were all younger and one by one, it seemed everyone head out and onto bigger and better things. He thought they all left to try and follow their dreams and live their life. Even he was one of those dream chasers.

"Non." The coyote shrugged off. "I felt ze urge to see where everyone's at, see what happened to ze olde keep. Just for ze weekend" Sonic just mouthed a silent 'oh' and nodded his head. "Hey! Why not you come wit moi?" He offered out of the blue. Sonic was taken back a bit at the offer and babbled something that resembled a few inaudible stutters. "Come on, I know how ze small flights can be so I usually buy ze seat next to me." The coyote chuckled a bit, "Ah, had a bad experience once. I'll give you ze extra ticket."

He was still taken back at the abrupt request but felt a little curious how things were back home. It was only for the weekend so he wouldn't be missing any work. So after about three seconds of consideration, and thoughts of his old loved ones and friends entering his mind, he agreed. "Uh, sure. When are you leaving?"

"In about…" He looked down at his watch. "…two hours. Just enough to get on ze tram to hit ze airport."

"I haven't packed." The hedgehog explained, finding a flaw in his old friend's plan.

"Shouldn't be a problem for ze world's fastest hedgehog." Antoine nudge the side of his counterpart with an antagonizing tone of voice. "Just meet me at ze terminal. I won't leave without ya."

*o*

"Zut, mon dieu. How long can he be taking?" Antoine said frantically checking his watch as he stood in the airport terminal, tapping his foot so anxiously he felt like he was drilling a hole in the floor. He glanced back at the departure board. 'Flight 756 to Knothole, Now Boarding.' He looked back at the doors and finally saw Sonic approaching. He walked up to him slowly and casually, a characteristic unlike the Sonic that he once knew. "What ze 'ell? I thought you'd be quick!" He observed more than criticized.

"Yeah, not as fast as I used to be. I think we can still make it." He said as he too looked up at the big flashing warning for boarding. They made it to their gate and Antoine handed Sonic the extra ticket. They walked onto the plane, passing the flight attendants and pilots, nodding and giving them their respects, and headed back to their seats. First, Antoine placed his small brief case up in the overhead, then Sonic followed with his and they sat down, making themselves as comfortable as possible.

"So, what 'ave you been up to?" Antoine asked. In the background, the cabin door closed and the seat belt sign blipped on.

"Just working really. Making a living or whatever you call it." He humorously answered with a bad poker face but Antoine took it all the same.

"I see, I see. Where is your place of work?" He asked.

"Oh, um Bank's law firm down near Pier 57."

"Ah, what do you do there?"

"I work in management. It's not real exciting but it's something." He shrugged. The two ignored the flight attendants as they demonstrated the seat belt mechanism, a system a two year old could figure out on their own. "What about you? Able to afford two plane tickets just for the comfort, you must be doing something right." He asked with a humbled smile.

"I am ze Chief Coordinator for Acorn's eastern bloc." He said proudly, but not too proudly to instigate any superiority.

Sonic was shocked. "Wow! That's great!" He exclaimed with full sincerity. "I bet that can be exciting."

"Exciting, yes. Stressful, more than yes." The coyote shook his head a little bit for emphasis.

"I bet." Sonic chuckled. They had practically overlooked everything about flight as they were already being pried off the runway by the lift of the wings. It wouldn't be long before the stewardesses came down the aisle with refreshments, and Sonic couldn't wait – he was parched from hustling to the airport. "So what do you have in mind when you get back to Knothole? What's your first plan of action for your stroll down memory lane?"

"I don't know, I figured taking a look back at Freedom HQ would be a good start. We were all so young when we left, I can hardly remember ze place." Antoine answered as he kind of drifted off, already reflecting on good times.

"Yeah. It got turned into a museum when were like twelve, right? Shortly after Robotnik kicked it." Sonic added, also beginning to reflect on old times. He let out a laugh thinking about one of the numerous stories they held. "Oh man, we did some crazy things as kids didn't we." He said with saddened reminiscence.

"That we did." Antoine said as his smile slowly faded from his face as well. The rest of the flight remained relatively silent as they both began playing movies of what they remembered from their youth: their old friends, the problems they went through and overcame together but more importantly, the talks of the places they would go…

"Sonic, you can't do that! You can't carry the ball, it's against the rules!" A young Princess Sally fretfully exclaimed as she tried to run after the arrogant hedgehog in her powder blue dress and silk lined shoes.

"Rules, shmules." The toddler retorted as he sped off. He got to a moot point and turned around, appearing right in front of Sally almost at the same instant he took off. "For you my dear." He said as he displayed a few daisies he picked on the little jog he just finished. Sally smirked and leaned into his cheek for a childish kiss. Sonic tilted his smug head up to receive it but before she could plant it on his face, she reached to what occupied his other hand and snagged the ball he so selfishly took from the others. "Thank you." She giggled and ran off, displaying the trophy of the retrieved ball over her head with fully extended arms. "I got it guys!" She shouted. Sonic just rolled his eyes and dashed back to the others.

It wasn't long until the kids, like any others, got bored with what they were doing at that time and moved onto something else. But tired from their previous activity, they all just lied in a circle on a hill and stared up at the sky. "You see that cloud?" Rotor pointed up to a long and narrow one that drifted by overhead.

"Yeah." The others replied.

"It looks like a wrench don't it?" He said, obvious with that on his mind.

"Rotor, I can totally see you being a mechanic when you grow up." Sonic said a bit smartly for a six year old.

"No," he responded, "I'm going to be an astronaut! I wanna work on the space station!" He stated.

"I want to be a singer! Like Celine Lion or Brittney Swans!" Sally stated her dreams.

"You'd need a cool name, like Chipmunk Sal or something." Sonic said as his hand rested behind his head and his eyes remained fixed on the skies.

"Yeah!" They all responded in conjoining agreement.

Sally had a smile that flickered on her young face. "What about you Sonic?"

"I want to be a racecar." He said bluntly and cooly.

The princess exploded in giggles. "A racecar?" She asked.

"Yeah. Well not an actual car, but I bet I could go faster than some of those things. I'd want to race against them." He said with the same attitude as before.

Sally let her laughter subside before asking the final member of the part his desire. "What about you Antoine?"

"Moi? I want to be a king." He said confidently. They all sat in silence as they stared at the sky, dreaming their high hopes and revisiting their desires constantly, not wanting time to move any slower so that they can hurry and live the lives they were meant to live…

"I bet we'll go far. We've got the world in our hands." Sally said just adding to the dancing thoughts of the youngster's heads. "Don't you think so Sonic?…Sonic?...Sonic!" Antoine shouted, as he was shoving Sonic a bit more roughly with each push, trying to wake him up from his mid-flight snooze.

The hedgehog jumped up with shock. "Huh? What?" He flung his head toward Antoine who had a slight smirk displayed on his muzzle.

"We are here." He said. Sonic turned his head to the rest of the fuselage of the aircraft and saw all the people anxiously get up and finding their packs so they can all rush off the airplane first.

"Oh. Right." He said as he too got up and fetched his gear from the overhead compartments.

Him and Antoine left the terminal and headed to the car rental lot to pick up a car for the weekend. On the drive, they made their way down the main street of Knothole, eager to see the sights of their childhood just like how they remembered them. However, what they saw was something different.

They first drove by Uncle Chuck's diner. Sonic's face was practically plastered on the window as it approached but the sight of the old diner with boarded up windows and a half broken sign made his heart sink to a low he didn't think could be possible. The parking lot was pale and broken and had grass growing out of every crack. A few of the boards covering the windows had graffiti on them; a near slap in the face to the nostalgic Sonic as he remembered it with bright flashing lights, and people standing outside conversing, and all the liveliness that ensued with the practically historic restaurant.

They continued to drive down the road and it slowly made them realize that everything had changed. The old playground beside the Lake of Rings park was unkempt and broken. Stores were shut down left and right. The old waterslide was green with algae seeing as it hadn't been used for years. They could almost see shadows of themselves running around and playing in the sunshine without a care in the world. To these shadows, everything was going to be alright. All their plans for their lives were going to go off without a hitch and they were going to be happy time and time again. The two visitors could feel the sagging hearts and let-downs coming from each other as each memory they passed, was ruined and tarnished.

"This is…not what I was expecting." Antoine said surprised. They approached Freedom Boulevard and took a right, heading for 'Freedom HQ Museum' as it was labeled. "At least zis is preserved." The coyote mentioned as the complex seemed to be the one place that remained the same.

They entered the main hallway where there was initially a gate and ticket vendor. "Tickets please." The bored sounding female mouse attendant said as her eyes never lifted from the book she was reading and her hand rested on the small opening. Antoine fumbled through his wallet and placed a card in her extended hand. She scanned it, again without removing her eyes from the book, but suddenly it peeped with a strange peep. She was finally prompted to look over the card and her eyes bulged slightly while reading it. "Oh! Good to have you here Mr. D'Coolette. The Freedom Headquarters Museum thanks your service in the great war against Robotnik." She gave him a big smile that, if it wasn't for her previous actions, could have come off as sincere. Sonic began to follow Antoine into the building but was stopped by the mouse. "Uh, uh." She said. "I need to see a ticket."

"Oh sorry, I don't have my FF Card on me." The FF Card was a certificate, small enough to be kept in a wallet, that was given to all of the Freedom Fighters after they defeated Dr. Robotnik so many years ago. It gave them numerous benefits and usually when flashed they could get anything they wanted for free.

"Nope. Sorry, I need identification." She said pretty stringently.

Sonic didn't know how to take the statement. His head fluttered lightly, wondering if she was serious. "Umm, I'm Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog." He said, hoping that would be enough for the lady but apparently it wasn't.

"I'm sorry, I'm going to see some identification." She repeated.

Sonic flurried some curse words under his breath and slammed down some cash. "Fine. One ticket please."

The mouse slowly worked the register and printed out a daily pass, slid it through the small slot, to which Sonic furiously swiped it away. "Thank you, have a nice visit." She said unenthusiastically and continued on her book.

The first sight for the two returning heroes was the housing quarters. Antoine's was closest and right by the door, a request he made when he was younger just in case the complex was being attacked, he could be the first one to flee. He opened the door and nostalgia instantly took control over him. "Oh wow." He said. Sonic poked his head behind Antoine, who still stood in the doorway, and followed him into the room. It was a lot smaller than what he remembered but it was no doubt, his home for a few years of his childhood. "I remember this stump." He said as he kicked a small tree stump that started to grow in the building but was quickly cut down. "I'd sit by this thing every night and write in my diary."

"…You… had a diary?" Sonic quirked.

"One does not feel ashamed of who they were for it builds to who they are." Antoine let out a few huffs and chuckles before placing a hand on Sonic's shoulders. "I am a much stronger man zen I was." He stepped out of the room and Sonic followed, drifting on the words of Antoine.

They came up to Sally's room and both smiled at how typical it was. Maps were all over the place, an Acorn Flag was draped from the ceiling, a small desk was resting in the corner, and numerous pictures plastered the wall. They walked over to the pictures and looked them over. Most of which consisted of her and her father, her and Julayla, or her with the rest of the Freedom Fighters either as children under the care of Rosie or a few years later when they were fighting Robotnik. One picture however caught Sonic's eye. It was a small and scarred one of him and her. He just came back from a mission in the picture and was wearing a tan tact vest and must have barely scrapped out of danger or something because sally was glad to see him. Obviously, as she gripped the vest near Sonic's shoulders and was holding him close as she gave him a passionate kiss. Sonic sighed but the memory was interrupted as Antoine called from another room. This took Sonic a bit by surprise as he was just standing right behind him. He must have been reminiscing a bit longer than it seemed. "Be right over Ant!" He called out. He looked around to make sure no one was watching and snagged the photo from off the wall, and casually hid it in his spines.

He followed Antoine's shouts and came to the next room. "What is it?" He asked as he entered but he didn't need an answer. It was his own room. He slowly stepped forward, trying to sort out all the emotions he was experiencing at the moment. "Wow." Was all he could come up with as he looked around. There was a big poster of the Original Freedom Fighters, Col. Tig Stripe, MP Bull Bones, Sir Peckers, Trey Scales, and Spot Long. Sonic looked at the poster and instantly felt all the motivation he had as a youngster. These were his idols and the whole reason he got involved with creating the Knothole Freedom Fighters. On another wall was a propaganda poster of Dr. Robotnik with a bunch of holes torn through it and darts still sticking out of his face. A few pictures hung on his wall as well and he looked at one of him and Tails, high fiving while Tails was suspended in the air and Sonic leapt up to meet his level. The bed was his old racecar bed with checkered flagged sheets as he was all about speed. He had to suppress a tear from forming as he thought about everything that was, and everything that is now. He was a hero with all the opportunity in the world, but now he was just another corporate worker, striving and fighting the guy to his left and right for the next promotion.

Antoine again placed a hand on his shoulder. "Sure does bring back memories."

"Yeah…yeah it does." Sonic said a bit solemnly.

They came to the 'Hall of Fame' area where a crystalline figure of each of their faces was lit up with a plaque with a short description underneath them. "Miles 'Tails' Prower: Two-Tailed Fox. Born 3225. Gifted with flight and extreme Engineering skills. Currently works for Entrope Engineering and is married to Mina the Songoose and has one child, Melody."

"They need to update zis wall here." Antoine stated, rubbing his chin as he concluded reading this part of the wall. Sonic gave him a funny look and a raised eye brow. "You don't know?" He responded to Sonic's glare. The hedgehog shook his head, no. "Tails and Mina divorced like last year." He turned back to the wall, completely missing Sonic's now shocked expression. "Broke his heart. I guess fame got the best of them."

"Whoa." Sonic responded as his ears and quills dropped a bit. Not only was his ears folded to a practically flattened state, they complimented his sagging facial expression. "Oh man." He said dismayed. He smacked his forehead in shame. "I'm his big bro, I should have been there for him."

"It's alright Sonic. Not everyzing works out." Antoine said in an attempt to comfort the 'blue' blue hedgehog.

"It's seeming like nothing works out." He responded before moving to the next plaque, trying to dismiss the thought of a saddened Tails. He knew how much she meant to him and how much Melody meant to him and they all seemed so perfect together. He couldn't imagine what he went through.

"Amy Rose: Possessor of the Piko Hammer. Born 3226. Aged by six years due to the Ring of Acorns. Amy is in charge of a large successful fashion line."

"At least things worked out for her." Sonic added and moved on.

"Rotor Walrus: Genius mechanic. Born 3219. Brilliant with mechanics and engineering. Accepted and attended the Accelerated Aerospace Engineering Program at Hassan Aerospace University."

"See, not all is so bad Sonic." Antoine said as he read all the plaques almost simultaneously with Sonic.

"Yeah, I remember that now. Hope he went far with that." They practically side stepped through the Hall of Fame as all the monuments were lined side by side.

"Bunnie Rabbot: Half rabbit, half robot. Born 3219. Rescued by her fellow Freedom Fighters before complete roboticization, but ended up half robot. Used and still uses her abilities for the betterment of Mobius."

"Never did get deroboticized I guess. Kind of feel bad, that's what she wanted more than anything." Sonic added.

"Antoine D'Coolette: Expert Swordsman. Born 3217. Courageously played a pivotal role in the over throw of Dr. Robotnik. Currently holds the position of Chief Coordinator of Acorn's Eastern Bloc."

"Not so much of news to you eh?" Antoine joked as they have already visited that topic.

"Yeah. I'm just surprised they used the phrase 'courageously' when referring to you." Sonic jeered.

"Hey," the coyote responded just as playfully, "I stiffened up in ze end."

"Alright, I'll give you that one. And next in line…" He said, seeing who it was.

"Sonic the Hedgehog: fastest thing alive. Born 3220. If it wasn't for him, Mobius would sure have been lost. Since the victory, Sonic has big plans and has moved to East City to play out all the opportunities he has."

"What exactly happened with all that?" Antoine asked curiously. He still remembers the hedgehog being on top of the world when he left Knothole. He said he was heading to the big city to play out the rest of his life and that was practically the last time they heard from him. "Everyone was expecting what our biggest hero was doing in life."

"I never reported back. I felted ashamed. Still do kind of. I left with everyone saying how I was going to go far, how I had such a bright future, I couldn't face the facts that…that I my future was already spent during the wars with Robotnik. Life caught up to me I guess." He answered slightly humbled, and the statement must have been a true one as the old Sonic never was big on humility. "I could only use my fame to get so far." Antoine decided not to ask any more seeing it was an obvious touchy subject for the broken hero. They moved on.

"The Chaotix: Detective Agency. Est. 3235. Composed of Espio the Chameleon, Charmy and Saffron Bee, Mighty the Armadillo, Ray the Flying Squirrel, Vector the Crocodile (de facto leader), and Knuckles and Julie su the Echidnas with Knuckles as the team lead. They helped the Kingdom of Acorn and The Freedom Fighters on numerous occasions."

"I wonder what happened to those guys." Sonic posed.

"Knuckles and Julie su are still together." Antoine stated.

"That's good to hear." The hedgehog quickly slid in.

Antoine continued, "Knux still is ze Guardian of Angel Island and Julie su is right zere with him. I don't know if they started yet but I think they're going to train Lara su to be a Guardian soon."

"Do you know of the other guys?" He asked his friend as he seemingly knew everything. I guess with a job like his it was probably necessary to know.

"As for ze others, I actually don't know." His answer came somewhat as a surprise to Sonic as they moved to the final plaque.

"Princess Sally Acorn: Princess to the Kingdom of Acorn. Born 3220. Leader of the Freedom Fighters and main strategist. Along with holding the monarch through the Robotnik Wars, she is next in line to take up the crown after her father, King Maximillian Acorn."

Sonic stood in front of this plaque for a moment. "I doubt things went south for her, non?" Antoine joked, not catching his friend's near trance at the crystalline figure of the princess.

"She's still in town, right?" He completely ignored the coyote's statement.

"I would say so. Ze castle is on ze other side of ze city. You're not thinking of a visit?"

"No. Just curious." He said droopily.

They explored the rest of the area. Going through the main control room where it talked about the A.I. NICOLE and how she still is helping the kingdom through the global network. Antoine mentioned how he had run into her in the network a few times at work. He said though, she seemed more artificial and less life-like.

From there, they went to the lounge area and revisited all the memories they had in the place. They joked about how one time, Knuckles punched a hole in the wall because Sonic was infuriating him with snide comments and names. There was another time when they were really young, probably earlier in the war, when Tails and Sonic teamed up on Antoine and played keep away with a piece of his uniform. Sonic stole it and tossed to Tails who hovered in the air as Antoine reached for it. One memory included Bunnie and Sally having some girl talk in one of their rooms, whether it was Bunnie's or Sally's neither Sonic nor Antoine could remember, but Rotor, Antoine and Sonic came up with a device to eavesdrop on their conversation.

With all these memories and more that they revisited in the place brought joy and laughter but once those feelings subsided, feelings of detached remembrance and sadness kicked in. They were the best of friends but now they've all grown so distant. Of course war played its toll on the world but it never reached Knothole. This place was practically the only place untouched by Robotnik's terror. It was a haven, a beckon of hope which transposed hope into the young Freedom Fighter's hearts. They hoped for the best and let go of the rest but now, it all seemed hopeless.

All they had were memories; ghosts of better times where their futures shined bright. They retold the stories of better times to try and make them last but they didn't. They were said and done. Everything has changed for them, some positively, some negatively, but wherever they were, Sonic and Antoine knew the rest of the Freedom Fighters would agree that those were their lives and that right now, everything seemed fake and surreal. That their lives ended when the Freedom Fighters said their goodbyes and departed on their own paths and their current life was just like a shadow to their old ones.

All their reminiscing was interrupted by a woman's voice come over the loudspeakers. "Attention, all valued guests. The facility will be closing in approximately ten minutes. We request you to make your final stops or purchases as prepare for departure. Thank you for visiting the Freedom Headquarters Museum and hope you've enjoyed your stay. Please come back anytime."

"Guess we should get going." Antoine said.

"Yeah." Sonic agreed. His tone of voice gave away the impression that he was still looking back on the days of the Freedom Fighters, an impression that was most definitely true. They headed out the main entrance got into their rental vehicle and left.


Author's Note: Over the next couple of chapters, it will be Sonic and Antoine's experiences with their revisit to Knothole.

I don't really know what else to say other than what I said at top so I guess it's the usual...

Enjoy! and Review!