A/N: Hi !I've been lurking on the Glee section of fanfiction for a little while now until finally, inspiration struck. =) So, this is my first Glee fic, most likely drabbly pieces strung together for now.

Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the laptop I'm writing on and Emmersyn MacDonald, my original character. Puck, totally Ryan Murphy's.

Summary: They were going to hell. She knew it. He knew it. Why else would she agree when Noah Puckerman had turned to her and asked, "Wanna be my Heidi Fleiss?"

Puckerman's

Noah Puckerman and his best female friend, Emmersyn MacDonald stood in his bedroom, staring down at the drawer full of cash in his bedroom.

"So..." she drawled, sucking the air through her teeth, "this is all from the Pool Cleaning?"

"Yup." He nodded, a smirk playing on his lips, "I'm a fuckin' stud." She laughed, "Hey! I totally am!"

She smirked at him, "Yeah, ah ha... You and the STD's. I remember."

"Hey! The Puckasaurus is totally healthy!"

"I know. I remember. I had to hold your hand when Santana sent you-"

"Are you questioning my badassness?"

"Never!" she laughed.

"Good." He said with a nod, "So, wanna be my Heidi Fleiss?"

Emmersyn raised an eyebrow and sank down on his bed, "Run that by me again?"

Puck replaced the false bottom on the drawer and closed it before facing her, "I want to expand the business. Some of the cougars...they want girls..."

"Puckerone not enough?"

He picked up a dirty sweatshirt and threw it at her, "More than enough. But, unlike Finessa I can't randomly grow a vagina."

"D'ya have to be so crass?"

"You love it Babe. You totally do."

"Yeah. Like a slushie to the face. FYI, askin' me to be your Heidi Fleiss? Worst. Pick-Up. Line. Ever. Or, at least second to, 'wanna take a ride on the Puckasaurus?'"