DISCLAIMER: This fanfic is a parody of the notoriously bad fanfic, "My Immortal". This is JUST for lulz, and is NOT intended to be taken seriously in any way whatsoever. Trust me.

Episode 1: The Rising Flames: Introduction of Ditzy Mary Doo

Hi, my name is Mary Demonic Wingz Doo. I have demon wings on my back (that's how I got my name), and I am epic wins (get it?). I am sixteen years old, and I'm a hardcore punk goth demon. Two years ago, my parents sent me to boarding school because I was probably too emo for them, the bastards. At school, there's a lot of posers who have an unusual habit of looking at me strange for some reason, but they don't bother me because I just stick my tongue out at them. They're all just a bunch of ridiculous idiots who think they're better than me just because they get good grades, while I cut most of my classes. Thankfully, the teachers don't really care about what I do because a lot of them probably have headaches, and the stores around here are almost always out of Nurofen. I may not pass school, but that's fine with me because who would want to go to a college with a bunch of preps and posers anyway? Besides, I already have a job at Hot Topic writing lengthy advertisements for the clothes that they sell. It's a fun job full of epic wingz, the only downside is that all of the employees there think that my wings are fake, which is so NOT true you motherfuckers!

In case you don't understand, I'll explain. You see, I am a Mary Sue (in case you couldn't tell), and something very strange happened to me a while back. Three months ago, I got very sad while I was in my bedroom watching depressing Tim Burton movies like "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and listening to gothic songs like "The Anthem" by Good Charlotte and "American Idiot" by Green Day, so I decided that I would commit suicide and die like a true goth. I cut my legs with a razor and I stuck a steak knife into my heart, but I didn't die. Instead, I saw a fire emerge in the air, and everything went black. When I woke up, I felt a strange pain in my back. I turned my head around and gasped when I saw two red wings on my back. I also saw a bird fly around my room and turn to a pile of ash on the floor. At first, I was astonished, but soon, I was able to deduce what had happened with my extensive knowledge of mythology. I knew that the Greek god of the underworld Hades had brought me back to life and transformed me into a demon, which I was very happy about. Anyways, now that I've introduced myself, it's time to move on to my everyday life! Prepare yourselves for fun and gothic excitement!

One day, I was walking outside the school. It was overcast, and a nerdy poser named Twilight was looking at me strange with her best derp face. I stuck out my tongue and blew a raspberry at her. I soon regretted doing so though, because standing right next to her was...Justin! Justin was a blonde-haired shy guy who I had been analyzing carefully for a while. Despite the fact that he liked hanging out with posers like Twilight, I was interested in him because he looked so gothic and hot. He was so awesome that I had even given him an original nickname, Midnight, because of the dark complexion in his face and personality (and it sounds a lot better than Twilight, don't you think?).

"Oh, hi Midnight." I said to him with a wide smile on my face.

Midnight didn't reply. He simply waved at me and walked away. I walked back to the school with joy, excited that I had finally managed to say something to him.

End of Chapter One.