Sometimes, things get a little too much for even the strongest of characters.
--------------------------------------------------
She calls me from the car
Idling in the rain
And tells me it's too hard
To handle all the pain
"Chad, I can't do this anymore. I can't handle it, and it's not fair. Try and understand." You sob hysterically down the phone.
"Where are you?"
The phone goes dead.
The pain of her wanting more
And me wanting the same
I throw on my shoes
I run outside
But she's gone
I put the phone down, put my sneakers and rush out the front door. Your car's gone; you're gone. We wanted different things, and it forced us apart; further apart than I would have liked.
All the things going through my head
All the things that I left unsaid
I'm soaking wet now but I don't care
Where we'll end up I don't know where
I could have stopped this. I could have made this work.
All those things that I could have said - should have said - to get you to stay. Those things that never left my mouth. I was too scared.
I don't even notice the rain until it soaks through my clothes and reaches my skin. It's then I notice that I'm drenched, and that the rain is coming down heavily. I run to my car; I don't know where I'm going - where our relationship's going - but I'm going to find you.
But we could get there
'cuz with you I'm not scared
just tell me that this thing is not dead
girl I'm ready for the road ahead
I know we could get there
I just want to find you and find out what you think. I think we could make this work. I'm ready to make this work. It won't be easy, and I'm prepared for that, but we both have to agree on giving this - us - a chance.
I call her from my car
Racing in the rain
Having conversations with
With her answering machine
I speed down deserted streets, rain whipping at the windscreen. I put the wipers on and dial your cellphone number once again.
"You've reached Sharpay Evans. I'm either unavailable to talk, or I just don't want to talk to you. Leave a message. Love you."
"Shar, baby, pick up. Please pick up. I just want to talk, okay? I just want to know where you are. Just…just call me back. Please?" I don't bother with an 'I love you.' You won't appreciate it.
If I'd paid more attention I'd know
All the places she might go
But I'm blindly swinging in the wind
'cuz of how blind I have been
I drive past the park. You wouldn't go there. You wouldn't go to the river either. I don't know where you'd go. If I'd listened to you and attempted to care, I might know your favourite places. I might know the places you'd run off to. I've just been so stupid and blind, so oblivious to you. I've been so oblivious to everything.
All the things going through my head
All the signs that I should have read
I'm going down now but you don't care
I know I deserve this and it's only fair
I know that you will have dropped so many signals and hints about wanting to leave and get out of this relationship. Just knowing that I've been so ignorant is making me want to give up now because there's no hope, but me giving up wouldn't affect you. You don't care any more, and I deserve that. It wouldn't be fair - on either of us - if you still cared.
But we could get there
(don't give up on me)
'cuz with you I'm not scared
(baby took so long for me to see)
Oh but tell me that this thing is not dead
Girl I'm ready for the road ahead
I know we could get there (I promise we'll get there)
I'm scared. I'll admit it. I'm scared that you won't take me back. With you, I'm never scared.
I know you're worried and anxious, but I need to know from you if you think there's anything left between us. I promise to make it work.
I'm sorry that it took so long
I don't know why I didn't catch on
Oh girl I wasn't listening to you
When you told me that we needed to talk
I told you later and I brushed you off
It was obvious that this was what you wanted. I guess deep down I know that, I just didn't want to listen and hear it straight from you.
Everyday you'd sit down opposite me, take my hands and say the same thing.
"We need to talk."
I'd jump up, make some lame excuse about needing to do something or be somewhere, and I'd just leave you. I'd leave you, without giving you a chance to tell me what was really going on and how you really felt.
Oh girl (I wish I could undo)
All the bridges I burned
And I lived and I learned
You're the one thing I had that was true
I was so stupid to push you aside and cut you off from me, and your relationship. Given half the chance, I'd do everything again, and prove to you that I care. I do care. I always have, I just never showed you.
The company car, the flashy suits and gadgets; none of that's real. None of it's me, and then there's you. You're real, and you're everything I look for. You were the only thing I couldn't lose but somehow I managed it.
And I know what I had
Only now that you're gone
I'm a shell of a man without you
I can't believe you had to leave for me to realise what you really meant to me.
I'm nothing without you.
If you could see me, you'd laugh.
I haven't slept in days. I can't sleep.
The first night you didn't come home, I lay awake in bed, praying that you had just gone out with your friends.
When you didn't come home the next night, I sat on the couch, worrying that something had happened but no one had thought to tell me.
Last night I sat messily on the kitchen floor, knowing that you weren't coming back but hoping you were going to walk through the door. Your car was still outside.
I'm insomniatic without you. I need you
But we could (but with you I'll get there)
Get there (I'll get there took me so long to see)
'cuz with you I'm not scared (I'm not scared)
Just tell me that this thing is not dead
I'm ready for the road ahead
I know we could get there (with you I'll get there)
(I know we could get there you and me)
Come back.
Please.
--------------------------------------------------
Ok, so how suckish was that ending? I was completely stumped, apparently that is the best I can come up with.
Oh well, I felt the need to do a songfic for this song because it's one of my absolute favourites, and I think it's a truly beautiful song with great lyrics.
