Family Photos
"Now this is your one and only warning, do not embarrass me,am I understood?" I watched as the two boys heads go up and down in slow movements.
Alfred being the little snot that he was had already begun pulling at the small necktie and wrinkling the white button up as he squirmed in the car seat. He clearly had been ignoring me since his bright blue eyes had been more focused on the passing trees outside the car.
"Alfred, am I understood?"
The small boy glanced up at me as if he just now realized I as there.
"What?"
I reached over to grab the boys cheeks, ignore me again bastard, but as I did I felt a hand warp itself around my leg. I turned to put a name with the face but I knew already it was our stupid driver: that damn frog.
"Quit touching me," I say as I swat at his hand removing it from my thigh.
"I will if you promise not to get upset while were doing this," the Frenchman smiled softly.
"Yes, well, I can't guarantee anything since our boys seem to be-"
"Papa! Alfred's messing up his shirt!" Mathew called from behind me.
I turned to find said male unbuttoning and pulling his shirt out from his pants. Alfred just smiled and even began undoing the tie. Mathew on the other hand had watched me just stare at Alfred and deemed it the correct thing to do as he began unbuttoning too.
"Gah! No you twit, don't copy him!" I say leaning over the seat to re-button the smaller males shirt. "Francis, I could use a little help here!"
With the calling of his name the car seemed to freeze. Mathew always fallowed everything Francis did weather it was shaving to bathing so he stopped as if someone had held up a remote to him and pressed the pause button.
"Mathew, in order to look nice for the pictures, Author is taking us too. You need to stop unbuttoning and fix your tie. Alfred, yes, I know the tie is uncomfortable but you're just going to have to wear it for the time being. I promise if you act behaved I will make those sandwiches that you like so much."
"There not called sandwiches! There called burgers!" Alfred called back to the front.
"Yes, of course they are, now if you sit back in your car seat and behave I'll make those burgers~"
"Okay!" And just like that Alfred sat up straight, readjusted his buttons and necktie and stopped rough housing with his brother.
"How…?" I looked up at Francis in utter surprise.
"Children respond better to gifts than to threats," he said quietly while kissing the crown of my head.
I could already feel the bright warm blood rush up to my face so with a small turn I faced to window,
"Frog, I told you to stop touching me."
OUO
When we finally arrived at the photo shop thingy with maybe ten minutes to spare you, could tell the photographer was annoyed.
In fact she looked as if someone had driven a stick up her ass.
Too bad, she had a really nice face and wasn't really that bad to look at. I turned to Francis who had indeed taken a note of this since his face had the same worried expression a child who had gotten caught stealing candy would have.
Bloody pervert.
"Right this way we need to get started on these pictures. I have a very busy schedule today after all." The women waved her hand beckoning us to fallow her to the back of the store.
I felt a little pull on my pants and I saw little Mattie reaching for my hand.
"What's wrong?" I ask leaning down to the smaller boy.
"That lady is scary…" he took my hand and held onto it tightly.
"It's okay, she's not really that scary, just annoyed. Just let me and daddy deal with it okay?" The boy nodded but didn't let go of my hand.
I didn't mind really, he was the smaller of the two twins and often lead him to be afraid of strangers; He tends not to be noticed by them and often feels ignored. This is why Francis and I both signed him up to be part of that daddy-son cooking class.
Alfred can't cook for the life of him.
Frankly I can't either so it's more like a Francis-Mathew thing.
Anyway, as we walked farther to the back we noticed different props being used in the pictures along the wall, a few of which would a chef's hat and apron that Mathew pointed out.
"Can I use that in my picture papa?" he asked.
"I don't know let me ask," I turned to face the photographer who had been waiting for me and Mathew in a separate room "Are we allowed to use those props in our pictures as well?"
"Well, yes, but if you're going to pick some you'd better do it quickly." She pointed to a bin in the corner of the room full of different things.
Mathew of course chose the apron and chef hat smiling widely as if it had his name sprawled across it. Alfred ran over and grabbed a cowboy hat that he placed on top of his head and a fake pony that he held in between his legs.
"Look Mattie! I'm a cowboy!"
I smiled softly and even managed to take a few pictures of my own with my cell phone.
"Daddy are you gonna grab something too?"
"Um, no I think-"
"Of course we will!" Fancies said from behind me. He immediately jumped next to the crate and pulled out a pair of cat ears.
Yes that's what I said.
Bloody Cat ears for our family photos!
I mean seriously what kind of a stupid twit wears cat ears for family photos?!
"What do you think?" Francis asked while smiling softly.
Oh.
"Well," I look away trying to hide to growing blush that attaches itself to my face, "it looks fine…"
"Oui, papa, you look amazing!" little Mathew agreed.
Alfred who was still digging through the bin shouted with a great hooray!
"Shut up!" I immediately fallowed while covering his mouth.
"Look daddy! It's a pirate hat I think you should wear this one!" he passes me a pale red captains hat that looks as though its seen some days.
I was very much ready to shake my head and place the worn hat back inside the bin but just as I opened my mouth Francis snatched the garment from my hands and placed it a top my head. He then pointed me to a long mirror and in front of me sat a dashing blonde.
Oh, and Francis.
I quickly place the two boys next to me and Francis's side and I saw a stunning perfect family. I felt tears welling up in my eyes but I kept them down smiling brightly at my husband.
"Are you ready yet?" the annoyed photographer asked.
"Bloody hell women! Could you please wait a god fucking second?!" I yell pissed beyond compare. I turn to Francis for back up but when I looked behind me I found an empty air the reeked of back stabbing Frenchmen.
…
Yes it fucking did, don't question me!
When an impatient hum began to come from the photographer's mouth, I decided to admit defeat and hurry up and stand on the blank back ground.
Francis –like the little bugger he is- magically appeared by my side and had both of the boys in front of me. I wrapped an arm around Alfred and watched as Francis did the same with Mathew. The lady taking our picture smiled curtly knowing she was back in her element and began adjusting us every way possible.
French fellow scoot to the right, no now that's too much go back to the left yes. Now kid with the cowboy hat stand up, no don't lean over your brother stand straight good god, now smile~
We all mustered something of a smile since our photographer practically dared us not to.
Hmmm... she reminds me of someone I know….
Ah!
Our neighbor Ms. Eliza.
Crazy sick women.
After a few more photos with and without all of the ridiculous props, I managed to convince the kids to take a few normal pictures. I already had a basic idea of what I wanted to them to look like so I refused to take any directions from the photographer.
Which of course ticked her off.
"What do you think you're doing?" She said irritated, "it's my job to get these photos done, not you and I can't do that if you keep butting in. Let me do my job."
"Yes, but you forget dearie, that I'm the one paying you." And with that she shut her trap and looked away.
Now I placed the boys on their backs making them lay down on the blank screen.
"Daddy I'm tired." Alfred said wile rolling over to his side.
"Me too papa, when are we going home?" Mathew asked.
"As soon as were done with this last picture." I assured them.
I motioned for Francis to lie in between the two boys and he followed suit. I laid on the flip side of him and the boys and grabbed Mathew and Alfred's hands. I felt a small but tight squeeze to my fingers and for a moment everything was peaceful.
"Three… two…. One" the photographer clicked the cameras button and a small but bright flash engulfed us.
Such a beautiful family photo this was going to make I thought with a smile.
